husband always in a bad mood

Regular user going anon here. I grew up in a home where my father's moods dictated how the day would go. If he was in a good mood everything was great. When he wasn't, we'd hide in our rooms and generally avoid him. He was never violent or particularly nasty but he didn't need to be. Even today, that sigh he has chills me to the bone and I'm long since gone from home. I've had counselling for other issues and he is part of the reason why. It has affected my adult life to this day. Get this sorted for your daughter's sake.

Doctors aren’t great for diagnosing depression, they usually just throw pills at the problem.
Get him back to a therapist. Maybe he should get himself a job to pay for it. Sounds like he has too much time on his hands playing on his computer

There are two posters above who say that the OP does all the work with her daughter. Could they quote where she says this? I've read her post three times and can't see it.

OP, my ex husband was like this. I say ex because the marriage crumbled, I couldn't handle living with someone who I had to tiptoe around constantly, someone with moods that determined entirely how our whole day would go (and it was often badly). We went to marriage counselling for a long time, but eventually it just didn't work anymore. We had other issues, but the crux of it for me was that I was absolutely worn out managing his mindset, it felt like I had a child rather than a husband.

I was fortunate that we did not have children, you are in a more difficult situation because of your daughter. But you are also in a difficult position because how your husband treats and acts around her will also affect her deeply and may cause her issues in adulthood. This is something you really need to think about, as well as the huge impact on your own mental health.

I would not be so quick to pin all of this on depression. Depression is not an excuse to treat your family like this. My own father suffered with depression and anxiety badly and I was not aware of it as a child or teen, he dealt with it privately along with my mother's help, and he never took his issues out on his family.

How he acts at home is a choice. Allowing his moods to seep into how he behaves is a choice. It is possible to have depression and still treat your family with respect and care. It's possible to be depressed and not feel entitled to make other people take the brunt of how you feel.

Making his family walk on eggshells constantly is a form of abuse. Putting you in a position where you have to analyse his mood, watch out for changes in his temperament, be careful of what you say to him, blame you for how he feels, take out his feelings on you and your daughter, leave you without help and support, saying he will change but never actually doing anything about it (so he's aware of how he affects you, but just won't change) - this is a form of emotional abuse that is disastrous for families. No one should be in this position.

I think rather than focusing on your husband anymore, you need to focus on yourself. You have been asking him to get help for a long time and he has not done much, so now it's time to focus on you. Go to a therapist yourself and work out what you need and what you can do, it's worth spending money on, trust me. Confide in someone you trust and talk through your options. If you want to have a last chat with your husband then do, tell him that you need to see change or the marriage will pretty much be done - but follow through with what you say to him. Don't expect change, because it is extremely unlikely that anything will happen on a permanent basis.

You need to think long and hard about what is best for you here. Personally I couldn't live like that anymore and I can't tell you the relief I felt to be free of being someone's emotional punching bag. Just to have days without anyone ruining it with a bad mood, it was incredibly freeing. You might consider this for yourself too, if it's possible.