Why do so many people think everyone wants to be in a relationship?

pgj2015 · 05-01-2019 04:53AM #1

"dont worry you will meet a nice girl soon enough"

this is the kind of stuff i hear a lot.

the fact is i don't want to meet anyone, i much prefer being single, would happily stay single for the rest of my life.

most people think this is abnormal, but i think being stuck with 1 person for the rest of your life is abnormal.

the pros of being single for me are

more money

more free time

can work as much as i like (run my own business and am a workaholic)

dont have to attend events such as her friends wedding

no fights

never know who i will meet on a night out

i can decide to move to a different country in the morning if i want to

no worries that my partner/wife will suddenly loose interest in me and divorce me taking half my wealth i worked hard for

i even had a friend tell me to get married as he is married and is very happy, said friend cheated on his new wife less than 1 hour before telling me to get married.

ChikiChiki · 05-01-2019 05:02AM

Because a lot of people seem to be unable to think for themselves and that there is a set of societal norms that must be conformed to and you are odd if you step outside these norms.

Canis Lupus · 05-01-2019 05:11AM

You sound like you're just trying to convince yourself you want to be single.

Bet you can't count how many times you've watched Love Actually at this stage.

Sunflower 27 · 05-01-2019 05:35AM

Genuine answer:

I think for many it's the companionship and sense of belonging.

Not everyone is comfortable with their own company and find it lonely on their own .

Regular sex.

There is also comfort in knowing someone has your back and supports you.

For many there are financial benefits.

To make a family.

Some people think if they are not in a relationship they may be viewed as something is wrong with them by others.

AH answer:

Single people are losers.

05-01-2019 05:47AM

Conversations with friends about how great it is to be single leave less of a mark (if they happen at all) than those about liking people, wanting a relationship, or the heartbreak after a relationship.

So naturally, most people end up thinking everyone wants to be in a relationship.

worded · 05-01-2019 06:03AM

I think everyone has nailed it, its about listening to each other

This is very funny

https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

The Bishop Basher · 05-01-2019 08:58AM

pgj2015 wrote: »

the fact is i don't want to meet anyone, i much prefer being single, would happily stay single for the rest of my life.

most people think this is abnormal, but i think being stuck with 1 person for the rest of your life is abnormal.

That fine but you live in a world and a society where most people want to hang out with one other person. The reasons will be wide and varied but for the most part it will be because they fall in love with that other person.

There’s not much point getting the hump about that.

pgj2015 wrote: »

the pros of being single for me are

more money

more free time

can work as much as i like (run my own business and am a workaholic)

dont have to attend events such as her friends wedding

no fights

never know who i will meet on a night out

i can decide to move to a different country in the morning if i want to

no worries that my partner/wife will suddenly loose interest in me and divorce me taking half my wealth i worked hard for

There’s a great saying that we get “too soon old and too late smart..”

By the time you realize how futile most of these are it will be too late for you to do anything about it.

You won’t find yourself counting your cash on your deathbed while wishing you’d worked more.

You’ll probably just wish you had a loved one there for company and support.

Life is about the special moments and who you share them with.

It’s not about money.

NSAman · 05-01-2019 09:06AM

On the flip side of this, why do so many married people wish they were single?

(Just a thought)

secman · 05-01-2019 09:08AM

I've yet to see a headstone with the inscription
" should have spent more time in the office "

The office meaning work, whereas I've often spoken to older people who have said should have spent more time with the family.

Gay Byrne frequently says it of late, family and friends are more important than money.

whisky_galore · 05-01-2019 09:12AM

It's a lottery, some people get stung and stung badly.
For every perfect couple there's prob dozens of hellish relationships that should never have happened.

Wibbs · 05-01-2019 09:47AM

Humans are a social animal who like all creatures have a drive to reproduce. Individuals obviously differ, but the majority want social and intimate contact and family. I agree with Rennaws; it's not about the money.

begbysback · 05-01-2019 09:50AM

worded wrote: »

I think everyone has nailed it, its about listening to each other

This is very funny

https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

I take it you are female

Graces7 · 05-01-2019 10:06AM

whisky_galore wrote: »

It's a lottery, some people get stung and stung badly.
For every perfect couple there's prob dozens of hellish relationships that should never have happened.

,, because folk are hung up on a relationship at all costs?

Yer Da sells Avon · 05-01-2019 10:11AM

pgj2015 wrote: »

the pros of being single for me are

more money

I dunno. I wouldn't mind having that special someone, with whom I could split the rent.

Romance. It ain't dead.

anewme · 05-01-2019 10:20AM

It's not just about money, it's about doing what makes you happy and content.

I often get asked why I didn't get married. It is often a curious question but can come across as condescending as if no one would have you and you are left on the shelf. Older people tend to be worse, as if they pity you, they almost want to pat your shoulder in sympathy. (Poor aul Spinster)

People find it hard to understand that a woman might actually not want tto get married and have children or even be in a relationship.

True about working to live not living tp work, but some people enjoy what they do.

I'd like to be able to work less and would definitely get a couple of dogs as I love them.

Your life does not have to be in any way less fulfilled if you are not in a relationship or married.

sk8erboii · 05-01-2019 12:35PM

ChikiChiki wrote: »

Because a lot of people seem to be unable to think for themselves and that there is a set of societal norms that must be conformed to and you are odd if you step outside these norms.

Cringe. Just get a gf

BeerWolf · 05-01-2019 12:48PM

I am an Aroace. :pac:

TheAnalyst_ · 05-01-2019 12:50PM

Single people have less money.

CPTM · 05-01-2019 12:57PM

I'm not sure why so many single people think they want to be in a relationship when they clearly don't. Going on dates and then ghosting, matching with people on dating websites but not engaging with them, cheating or messing people around with "I just don't know how I feel these days". Get out of the dating world for God's sake!

Graces7 · 05-01-2019 01:01PM

anewme wrote: »

It's not just about money, it's about doing what makes you happy and content.

I often get asked why I didn't get married. It is often a curious question but can come across as condescending as if no one would have you and you are left on the shelf. Older people tend to be worse, as if they pity you, they almost want to pat your shoulder in sympathy. (Poor aul Spinster)

when I was 21, my great uncle who was a wit, gave me a parcel tied up with rough string in abundance... "That is to catch yourself a man with!"

Unheard of at my advanced age in the place at the time

Sorry, dear dear old Uncle! Remained an unclaimed treasure... no regrets.

ArchXStanton · 05-01-2019 01:32PM

CPTM wrote: »

I'm not sure why so many single people think they want to be in a relationship when they clearly don't. Going on dates and then ghosting, matching with people on dating websites but not engaging with them, cheating or messing people around with "I just don't know how I feel these days". Get out of the dating world for God's sake!

It's the call of the meat... I don't think men or women are very satisfied with the current state of dating

asteroids over berlin · 05-01-2019 01:37PM

most of this comes from the female perception, at all costs you should strive to be in a relationship for security, if he has a bit of cash - all the better, next step, kids. Males don't mind being single, of course those that are brainwashed by their female "soulmate" will deny this with venom.

PhiloCypher · 05-01-2019 01:37PM

Because they remember feeling like a third wheel on nights out with couples and assume nobody in their right mind would want that in perpetuity.

worded · 05-01-2019 01:49PM

begbysback wrote: »

I take it you are female

Male

See there you go ..... your not listening :-)
See video

bnt · 05-01-2019 02:22PM

I think I would be happy in the right relationship - but not in a relationship just for the sake of it. So the problem is in finding that right relationship, and as I get older I have a better idea of what I want and - more importantly - what I don’t want. I’ve never wanted children, for example, and that can be a dealbreaker, as I found out. There are other things, but they can be summed up as: life is already hard, I’m not interested in making it harder, and I’ve seen too much of that. I’ve given up on the chance of finding the right relationship.

orourkeda1977 · 05-01-2019 02:50PM

I've been in real love twice and they've turned out to be the 2 unhappiest experiences of my life.

Once because it wasn't returned and the second was because it couldn't be returned.

Sometimes these thing don't work for reasons entirely beyond your control.

Therefore, I resent people who treat their better half like dirt for no good reason or that they cant keep their knickers on for five minutes.

Just get in to a relationship if it makes you happy and youre in it for the right reasons.

Dont bother otherise

NSAman · 05-01-2019 02:52PM

TheAnalyst_ wrote: »

Single people have less money.

Horsecrap.

Not all single people are rich, but likewise not all single people are poor either.

I have married friends who have literally nothing, I stock the fridge when I go there. i have single friends with multiple homes earning millions a year.

You cannot generalize like that.

Besides money does not make you happy.

Cina · 05-01-2019 02:53PM

I agree that being single suits some people better (not me), but more money?

Sure, if you had kids you'll certainly have less money, but until that point, no way. When you live together you split all the bills, get groceries etc together.

If you ever want to buy somewhere you can get a bigger mortgage and get somewhere easier.

I was more than happy being single in my twenties but once the late 20s hit and the holidays and sessions with my friends became far more scarce due to their own relationships, it became pretty depressing. Having my girlfriend has changed all of that for the better. There is a lot to be said for having someone at your side to do things with when you get older.

begbysback · 05-01-2019 03:29PM

worded wrote: »

Male

See there you go ..... your not listening :-)
See video

I listen intently, unfortunately my reading lets me down!!

Mad_maxx · 05-01-2019 11:18PM

pgj2015 wrote: »

"dont worry you will meet a nice girl soon enough"

this is the kind of stuff i hear a lot.

the fact is i don't want to meet anyone, i much prefer being single, would happily stay single for the rest of my life.

most people think this is abnormal, but i think being stuck with 1 person for the rest of your life is abnormal.

the pros of being single for me are

more money

more free time

can work as much as i like (run my own business and am a workaholic)

dont have to attend events such as her friends wedding

no fights

never know who i will meet on a night out

i can decide to move to a different country in the morning if i want to

no worries that my partner/wife will suddenly loose interest in me and divorce me taking half my wealth i worked hard for

i even had a friend tell me to get married as he is married and is very happy, said friend cheated on his new wife less than 1 hour before telling me to get married.

Im engaged and have two kids but I don't bother going out anymore and don't miss it, people think it's odd, some people are constantly preoccupied with what others are doing

AMKC · 06-01-2019 01:06AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Humans are a social animal who like all creatures have a drive to reproduce. Individuals obviously differ, but the majority want social and intimate contact and family. I agree with Rennaws; it's not about the money.

Humans are a social animal who like all creatures have a drive to reproduce.

Ye never had that myself. Never understand why someone would want the stress and worry of having to raise and look after someone for at least 18 years until they are old enough to go out and earn there own living. Feck that and no thanks.

I would like to share life with someone just no interest in having kids.

Why do so many people think everyone wants to be in a relationship?

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