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I like him....he doesn't like me?

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Comments

  • #32
    buried
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭buried


    End it and move on OP, but don't look on this as a bad thing, ending this situation will place you in a situation of control where at least you will exactly know where you stand for once. You know this isn't right so why continue to put up with it? Your own primordial intuition is screaming at you to move from this, so you should really listen to it because your own intuition is no joke. And zapper55 is totally right above me there when they say this noise going on with this guy is preventing you meeting somebody else who won't give you this sort of grief. It's difficult to move on at the start, I know that game well myself, but there is also massive power in doing so. You take back control. You loose the noise blasting at you wearing you down. You sound like a really sound lady and you deserve better than all this useless noise, and you'll get it too no doubt, but you must move on from this and keep moving so you can allow something much better to come along and notice it. Best of luck

    Bullet The Blue Shirts



  • #33
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You need to be quite clinical here OP.
    You've met each other 6 times in 1 year. ..That averages out as once every 8 weeks.
    Yes some could argue he's using you as a booty call, but you're 50% of the equation here,& you're letting this happen. If you're happy with the status quo grand, but clearly you're not. So you need to address it by having a mature adult conversation- take charge- say "I can't keep meeting you , I need more from a relationship/whatever we call this". Let HIM do the running if he wants to pursue you.


  • #34
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yeah but what if he does text? Will you drop everything? Look you are stopping yourself meeting someone because of him. Treat yourself with kindness and respect and ask him what the story is. Anything is better than this huge mind**** limbo.[/QUOTE]

    I say I won't but I honestly don't know. I know I have no interest in bring with anybody else, it would be wrong to go on any dates, it wouldn't be fair on any guy. I'm going on holidays at the end of the month, hoping that will help clear my head.


  • #35
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    buried wrote: »
    End it and move on OP, but don't look on this as a bad thing, ending this situation will place you in a situation of control where at least you will exactly know where you stand for once. You know this isn't right so why continue to put up with it? Your own primordial intuition is screaming at you to move from this, so you should really listen to it because your own intuition is no joke. And zapper55 is totally right above me there when they say this noise going on with this guy is preventing you meeting somebody else who won't give you this sort of grief. It's difficult to move on at the start, I know that game well myself, but there is also massive power in doing so. You take back control. You loose the noise blasting at you wearing you down. You sound like a really sound lady and you deserve better than all this useless noise, and you'll get it too no doubt, but you must move on from this and keep moving so you can allow something much better to come along and notice it. Best of luck

    I know you are right, I just thought if there was ANY chance then I would love to try a relationship with him but guys show when they are interested in that or not. Because it's only hit me, it's thrown me.


  • #36
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Rfffd wrote: »
    You need to be quite clinical here OP.
    You've met each other 6 times in 1 year. ..That averages out as once every 8 weeks.
    Yes some could argue he's using you as a booty call, but you're 50% of the equation here,& you're letting this happen. If you're happy with the status quo grand, but clearly you're not. So you need to address it by having a mature adult conversation- take charge- say "I can't keep meeting you , I need more from a relationship/whatever we call this". Let HIM do the running if he wants to pursue you.

    That's it, I have let it happen and not once said no to him. He hasn't done anything wrong at any point. I don't know if I'm quite reafy for the conversation, I know I'm going to feel really hurt that's why I'm thinking it's just going to be easier if I just don't message him anymore.


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  • #37
    milli milli
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭milli milli


    Headrecked0 wrote: »
    I don't know if I'm quite ready for the conversation, I know I'm going to feel really hurt that's why I'm thinking it's just going to be easier if I just don't message him anymore
    ...
    I just thought if there was ANY chance then I would love to try a relationship with him but guys show when they are interested in that or not

    I know exactly how you feel OP. You really like this guy and want something more from him but are afraid to say anything because that might be the end of it all. And also when you really like someone, the rejection is much harder than if it was someone you barely knew.

    Chances are though that if you don’t text him, will you be able to move on? Considering that you really want a relationship with him?

    Rejection sucks, it really does. But you know I’ve started reframing rejection in a different way now. I saw a funny video where the guy gives dating advice and when someone rejects him, he just says to himself, ‘Wow, she makes poor life decisions!’ :D
    I love it! He’s this cool guy, obviously full of confidence but he obviously sees the rejection as their loss.

    I completely feel that way about rejection. Yes it is crappy, yes it hurts, but you know something, if some guy doesn’t want me and all the amazing stuff I can bring to his life, then to be honest, I feel a bit sorry for him! :D
    I know what I have to offer someone and if someone can’t see that, then they are not the right person.

    So in your situation I hope you realize that you are worth more and deserve more. But bear in mind that you are calling the shots as much as this guy. He might think you are happy with the status quo. Maybe he’s seeing other people, maybe he’s not (it doesn’t seem like he is though as he’s always available when you’re there). But you are doing all the running.

    If you can stop contacting him and move on, then do that. Don’t feel bad about it.
    But if you can’t, maybe you need to contact him and lay your cards on the table and see how they fall, but be prepared for it not going as you want (but this isn’t a bad thing, it’s leaving you free to find the person that’s right for you, if it isn’t this guy).


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