9yr old boy kills himself due to anti-gay bullying

I think many of you are forgetting what it's like as a young child when being "gay" is more of an unfocused insult. It applies to everything. It's not simply a sexual remark but an insult that comes across for every aspect of living. It's one of those things that boys experience that women are not going to understand. And it's likely something every boy experiences at one stage or another with different results.

The problem here is three fold.

First, is the access to the internet. That medium is uncensored and feeds off the weak, or the ignorant(in terms of knowledge). For every nice or supporting website, there are dozens which are mean spirited or designed to promote rather dubious allegations. Kids nowadays have full access to the internet. Parents provide phones, and wifi is common. There is little to no observation about what the kids are looking at. I've seen the same with my nieces when they were of a similar age. Instagram, facebook, and a host of other apps with little regard for the ages/maturity of those viewing them. There is also the aspect of being able to search for suicide techniques, or even to be convinced that suicide is even an option.

Then, there's Social Media. I think we can all agree just how "toxic" SM is. But kids don't have the filter yet, that tells them that this is BS and that is "reasonable". The level of citicism that is involved in SM, along with identity politics is just disgusting.

Lastly, the changes in our society about sexuality, gender, etc. As some have said earlier, the gender debate might be a factor, although I personally doubt it. However, this rush to make everything sexual acceptable is extremely short-sighted with often conflicting opinions about what should happen. Again, as adults, we have the filter to weed out the retarded opinions, and our life experience prepares us to resist many of the oddball comments, but children don't have that defense.

We, as a society, really need to be putting more importance on the time children spend as... children. To not provide them with a medium like the internet which is aimed at adults, but giving children free access. It's like handing a kid fire, telling them (not explaining) to not burn anything, and then leaving them alone to have tea with your friends for a few hours.

As for sexuality or being aware of being gay at 9 years old, I'm calling BS. You might be aware that you "like" boys but there's nothing sexual for the vast majority. Your balls haven't dropped, you likely haven't any real experience and the only real influence is external. That you're being made to believe your attraction by others, and by the media (internet included) who seem to believe everyone should choose as early as possible.

Now, no doubt, many posters here will get emotional and accuse me (and others) of being insensitive about the situation. However, I would suggest we would be better off discussing how we can protect children in the future, rather than thumping out chests in objections.

When something like this happens, we should be stepping forward to acknowledge that our society is not perfect, that all these social changes have been rather short-sighted, and that we should be considering how to minimize the risks to those vulnerable.

I love the "You're using this kid's death to push an agenda" stuff when the entire purpose of it is to push an agenda. I pointed the hypocrisy out at the time when August Ames died, the whole "Oh we don't know if that's what it really was" whereas now the same people will accept a stated cause right from the get-go.

Malayalam wrote: »

I agree with some and disagree with some of your post. But just on these 2 points. My oldest was horrifically bullied with homophobic taunts as a very young child (6 or 7 years) - both verbally and with physical actions mimicing sex, and having failed to solve it despite enormous efforts on my part, I home schooled him thereafter. It is a terrible and insidious part of childhood bullying which is swept completely under the carpet.

It's not swept under the carpet... not really, since many schools have tried to bring in measures to reduce bullying in schools, but what can you really do?

I, too, was bullied as a child with comments about being gay. Children don't really have such a wide range of insults to use, and being Gay factors quite highly. Children are often vindictive little ****s, but glorious angels at the same time. It's the way of childhood.

I don't know what has happened to the bullies that they become such evil little fcuks at some incredibly young ages. On the point about the internet I have recently heard - though I wont be researching it - that Tumblr contains within it a cesspit of violent porn aimed at teens and pre teens, and some have said the depictions available to children there are almost unimaginably perverse. I use Tumblr for the lovely pictures available there as I work at digital art, and have never seen such - but others have attested to it.

Dunno. I limit my SM exposure, because I really found it all to be so negative. Even the articles/comments which are, on the surface, supporting/positive, all tend to have an agenda behind them with rather suggestive language. Then the comments after are usually complete muck.

My niece had access to twitter at 7 years old through her fathers phone when he was cooking the dinner. Yay. That makes sense.

mvl wrote: »

actually my one came from school one day saying that a boy started calling her and her friend lesbians. she was 9 at the time, not sure what class was the boy in, but older; and this is a good school in town, but the education some kids are getting from ... older siblings, internet, TV, is just outrageous.
So, I think another major problem is that parents are so little present in their children's lives - as ppl are too busy paying their mortgage, or staying on social media... this is one important thing that needs changing imo.

Completely agree.

tbh would not agree with this - have a read at this
https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/sexual-behaviour-children-and-young-people

Well, your link relates to a business who makes money from their research (although there's no actual access to the research findings or the details on how the research was done).

My problem with modern psychology is that it makes itself relevant. It's a business. A very profitable business which they have an interest in promoting to make it more important, and necessary. It's really scary how quickly Psychology has moved from a dodgy, almost pop science, to being widely accepted in just a few decades... while still having questionable research techniques or assumptions along with the usual biases.

- personally I am looking forward to hear smartphones are banned from schools. we don't intend to get one for our young one, but so many kids in class already have them.

Agreed. My Dad has an 'old' nokia. No smartphone for him. Perfect for messages, and making phone calls. Why aren't children receiving the same? Although to be fair, we also need the same attitude to tablets like Ipads.