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Lahvlahn: You say potato,I say Versatis- 11/05 two-eighteen so to speak
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Floppybits wrote: »Did Joe not get the pope gig?ButtersSuki wrote: »He's probably still suffering from DDD (Damien Duff Dizziness) after his last big public speaking event. Can't find the clip but worth looking for....esp. Duff's reaction.
http://www.dangerhere.com/issues/worldcup/infamy.htm
Not the clip, but the pic is enough
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Well spotted! You should have post de whole ting and dat:
A Day That Will Live in Infamy
Joe Duffy makes dog's dinner of Phoenix Park homecoming
Over 100,000 punters converged on the Phoenix Park on Tuesday evening to welcome the Irish World Cup squad home. Widespread disappointment was expressed that the authorities had not permitted an open-top bus parade through the city centre, citing public safety concerns. Instead, the public had to content itself with seeing the lads on an open-air concert stage.
The MCs for the event were sports presenter Peter Collins and radio personality Joe Duffy. The event was covered on live television. Jim Sherwin provided commentary of a suitably bewildered ilk. In the studio, Bill O'Herlihy garnered the observations of John Giles and Ray Houghton.
Magnanimous Dutch
The squad arrived in Dublin Airport aboard a KLM flight. As the plane taxied down the runway, the Dutch flight crew magnanimously waved an Irish tricolour. Perhaps this was in gratitude that the Irish proved that the Dutch team had not been eliminated from the competition by a bunch of no-hopers. Ireland showed the world in Japan and Korea that they can play a bit of football, Roy Keane or no Roy Keane.
Aren't the Dutch great?
Meet the President
From the airport, the boys were transferred to Aras An Uachtaran to meet President McAleese. Warm-up acts Six and Westlife were providing musical distraction onstage at about this point.
"I can confirm," said Jim Sherwin with a quiver of excitement, "that the team has not yet arrived."
Scotsman Houghton, in the studio, opined that since they were still meeting the President at Aras An Uachtaran, they were still come distance from the Phoenix Park. Billo diplomatically waited until after an ad break to point out that Aras An Uachtaran is actually in the Phoenix Park.
"Care to make another 'Mick McCarthy's baby', Mick?"
Duffy: The full horror
At last, the squad arrived. Joe Duffy was under the impression that they would all come out one-by-one and take a bow.
"Kevin Kilbane!" he cried. "Shay Given! Matty Holland! Damien..." Then he realised that they had all actually come onstage en masse. "Oh, they're coming out together." He opted to persist with his litany: "Robbie Keane! Jason McAteer! Niall Quinn!" But it wasn't working. The players just weren't playing the Joe Duffy game.
He decided to change tack, nabbing Damien Duff for a bit of one-on-one. "Your mother was very concerned that you had your picture of Padre Pio, Damien! Have you got it there?"
Duff was suitably unimpressed: "It's not with me right now," he said.Duffy wasn't finished with Duff quite yet: "Damien, Oliver Kahn has called in sick in the German camp. He's suffering from a new disease called DDD - Damien Duff Dizziness!"
"Get out of my face, Duffy."
At this point, Duff looked like he wanted the ground to open up beneath him. If only it had. A major earthquake might have lessened the horror of the evening.Duffy handed over to junior MC Peter Collins, who had Steve Staunton ready for a bit of a chat. "It's our Captain Fantastic, Steve Stanton," he announced. In fairness, this was just a slip of the tongue. Collins was a picture of dignity in comparison with the gauche Duffy.
Collins and Duffy cut off all means of escape.
Duffy nabbed Shay Given. "Given by name, given by nature," he bawled, confusingly. After some desultory conversation with Given, Duffy handed the Irish keeper the microphone. "Jason McAteer is 31 today," Duffy told the crowd. "Shay, lead them through Happy Birthday for Jason." Given gamely did as he was bidden, somehow managing to retain his dignity in this, his darkest hour.Duffy justifiably lauded Given's goalkeeping abilities. But then he spoiled it by deciding to cast aspersions on arguably the best goalkeeper in the world today: "We've renamed Oliver Kahn 'Oliver Can't'!"
"Isn't Oliver Kahn useless, Shay?"
Not even goalkeeping coach Packie Bonner was safe. Duffy called him forth to accept the applause of the crowd. A horrified Bonner quickly backed away to dodge the prospect of being interviewed by Duffy. However, Duffy had outsmarted him. "Peter Collins is going to talk to Packie," said Duffy. Packie turned around, and sure enough, Peter Collins was standing there, microphone in hand, ready to interview him. Packie fielded the questions well enough. "This is uncredible," he said of the occasion. Intriguingly, he claimed that being goalkeeping coach was much harder work than being a player. This begs the question: what exactly does a goalkeeping coach do? Surely Given, Kelly and Kiely already know how to be goalkeepers?
Robbie Keane also got the Duffy treatment.Duffy, handing Keane the mike: "Robbie, listen to the crowd. Aren't they great! Talk to them!"
"Boys and girls, it's Roy Keane!"
Robbie: "What do you want me to say?"
Even Duffy knew he couldn't tell Robbie what to say: "Just listen to them for a minute."
Mick McCarthy was handed the microphone to give the final word to the crowd. He acquitted himself well enough, even managing to add a touch of intentional humour to the occasion.
"On behalf of the entire squad, I'd just like to apologise for all this."
"To those of you with the 'I'm Mick McCarthy's baby' flags, I just want to say you can't come to my house because I can't feed you all."
Gilesy: National treasure
Back in the studio, the lads summed things up. "The balloons are floating off into the night sky," said Billo, overlooking the fact that it was still broad daylight at this time.
Then Billo asked Houghton, veteran of the similar homecoming in 1994, if the players would enjoy an event like this. Houghton was refreshingly honest: "It's protocol, Bill. The players know what they have to do."
Giles hit the nail on the head: "You're lucky Joe Duffy wasn't interviewing you in 1994, Ray."
Gilesy, you are a national treasure.0 -
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bottlebrush wrote: »The Pope will have his earplugs in
:D:D
Oooh, someone putting Pa Dray in his box!0 -
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