Husband had an emotional affair

Heartbrokenlol · 02-07-2018 8:29am #1

I found out for sure last night. I knew though. You always know. We were on holidays a few weeks ago and he was showing me something on his phone and a Whatsapp message popped up from her. He went red. Said she was a friend from work. The message was innocent enough but my gut went into overdrive. I knew something wasn't right.
That next morning I got really upset, I looked into his eyes in tears, I asked him to give me the respect of telling me if something was wrong. He held me and insisted it wasn't.
The next night he was in the hotel bar, I came down and he was texting. He didn't see me and add I walked up I could see he was texting her. He closed the phone. I asked who was he texting. No-one. I went to bed and be came up, be was drunk, he said fine, I was texting 'Mary'. We're friends. He then said he feels like he can't have female friends.
At this point I'll admit, I do have insecurities. I'm in counselling at the minute for them. It's early days but I'm trying.
Cue a week later, things aren't right. We're not okay. He says be can't do this any longer, maybe be separate, I don't make him feel attractive..I'm 36, he's 42.
Anyway we're talking and arguing and last night he came in from work and said I've a few things to say to you. Tells me be has known her since January. They actually knew each other about 20 years ago and they re met when she joined his workplace. They talk. He has a grown daughter he has been having problems with and he said they talked about that. She had kids, she understands. I don't. I'm not maternal. She's 49, divorced, her husband was abusive. They text, they sit in her car and talk and laugh. He's attracted to her. She reminds him of his past he said, she's fun, maybe more attractive than me he says, but different.
He told her I saw the text on holidays and thought something was up. She said that's crazy apparently.
So now here I am. Devastated. Exhausted. Humiliated. Hurt. Angry. Sad. We've only been married two years. We have had some issues but I didn't think it was this bad.
Infidelity has always been my deal breaker. I never thought he'd do it. I do believe him, in my gut, when he says nothing physical happened, even though he may have wanted it to.
He says he won't stop his friendship with her. Has agreed to come to counselling but says what good will it do, he doesn't see me getting over my insecurities. He's talking about selling the house and solicitors. Then the next minute he will cry and say sorry and hug me and squeeze me.
I've confided in two close friends. I feel so alone though. I feel terrified. All my hopes and dreams for our future gone. Our lovely home. Gone.
The thought of starting over again at 36 terrifies me. I waited so long to meet someone and now this happens.
I have a lot going for me, I'm a nice person, I've a good job, people tell me I'm attractive (this is where my insecurities lie) etc but why do I feel panic.
I love him and want to work on this. I don't think he does.

Big Bag of Chips · 02-07-2018 8:56am

For a start it is not your job to make him feel attractive. That is classic behaviour of someone caught doing something they shouldn't. He is turning it around to make it your fault. No wonder you are in counselling for insecurities. Talking of separating, selling the house, her being more attractive than you can't really be doing anything to make you feel secure.

Look, lots of marriages go through a stale spell. Lots of marriages fall into a routine of taking each other for granted. And unfortunately lots of people in marriages can have their heads turned and think the grass is greener.

You need to ask him, seriously, if he wants to save your marriage and lay out for him exactly what that means. It means giving your marriage more attention than he is giving her. I don't see how he expects you to be ok with him telling you all these things, and then telling you he's not going to stop seeing her.

It might be only 'friends' at the minute, but it is a very very fine line for it to cross over to something physical.

Whatever happens you will be ok. 36 is young! Very young. Decide what YOU want, and then lay it out for him. You have the right to say what you expect. Then he can decide if it's what he wants and if he's willing to work towards it with you.

If he's not, then you don't have to be at his whims. You can take control rather than waiting for him to decide. It'll be difficult, but it will do a lot for your own self esteem. I don't envy your position. Even the most confident, self assured person would be insecure in the same circumstances.

Heartbrokenlol · 02-07-2018 9:07am

Thank you for your reply. I did say to him does he want to work on our marriage or not and he says he honestly doesn't know.
He has agreed to couples counselling like I said. Maybe we can work through it better in there.
I feel like he's saying see, all your insecurities about me and other women, look what you pushed me to do.
I've wanted to message her and say whatever this is, he's my husband, does that mean nothing to you. He made a commitment to me. How pathetic would that be.
I feel so sad, I can't believe I'm here. I just can't. I can't face work or normal life right now but I'm forcing myself to get on with it.

LegacyUser · 02-07-2018 10:00am

Heartbrokenlol...
I'm heartbroken for you.
Please don't fall apart over this.
This is a tough time. I've been there.

Firstly...you have to decide if you want to save this marriage.
If you do...then fight for it.
Tell your husband exactly how you feel.
There's no point in going to couples counselling if you're both not fully committed.
Counselling could be the kick in the a**e he needs to wake him up.

It's good that you've confided in close friends. Getting this off your chest is a huge relief and it always helps to be able to talk.

Secondly....you are young. 36 is the new 21!!
Believe me.

There's really no point in making contact with the other woman
What would that achieve?
She'll more than likely just ignore you.

Everything Big Bag of Chips said above is true.
You need to make decisions...and make them soon.

You have the support of all the members here...they helped me through my problem, and it was a tremendous help to understand that there were others who had suffered the same angst as me.
Concentrate on the positives - that's all I can say for now.

Stick with it....Please take care of yourself.
We're all here for you.

Heartbrokenlol · 02-07-2018 1:21pm

WhereIsTheLoveGone thank you for your reply. I'm usually quite a private person but talking about it has helped dramatically. It breaks away the darkness.
We have our first counselling session tomorrow. Will see how it goes. I don't know if it's tiredness and all combined but I feel his heart is not really in making this work. Time will tell very quickly.
I think that will hurt more, not only has he disrespected me with another woman but then I wouldn't be worth fighting for.
I still love him I do. Despite everything.

nikkibikki · 02-07-2018 8:39pm

I second everything the previous 2 posters said

One thing that struck me, it's seems like he wants you to break up with him.

Him saying you don't make him feel attractive, how can you when you have your own confidence issues which he is clearly not helping with. And if he truly felt like that, the mature thing to do is talk about it. To you, not the first woman who turns his head!

And 36 is young!

LegacyUser · 02-07-2018 9:25pm

Hang on, he told you he maybe finds her more attractive!? What an ars*hole that is not anything a decent man says to his wife.

Remember also liars will only admit to what they’ve already been caught out in, in your case the texts. There could well be more to it. If he is as another poster suggested pushing you to end it it would be the easy way out for him.

rainbowtrout · 02-07-2018 9:34pm

Why would he mention that she is more attractive than you (a horrible thing to say anyway) if he only wants to be friends with her?

OP, decide what you want from this. He's being quite manipulative really, saying that you'll have to split up and sell the house and essentially saying it's all your fault that you don't trust him, when he is not to be trusted. He's the one saying that he will continue seeing this woman rather than work on your marriage.

Heartbrokenlol · 02-07-2018 9:42pm

You're all right. I just don't know what to do. I genuinely don't. I'm not a weak person, in fact, I'm quite strong but I have my insecurities...
We have a counselling session in the morning, will see what happens. I think he wants out though and this is his way of doing it. What a horrible way to treat someone.

Big Bag of Chips · 02-07-2018 9:49pm

Keep an open mind until you've been to counselling. The counsellor will have experience of this. Unfortunately, this is not a unique situation you find yourself in. Maybe he wants out. Maybe he's just being a tool who needs to have it pointed out what he is doing, and risking.

Of course you still love him. That's not going to just disappear. Take each day at a time. It is the most devastating thing to go through, but whatever happens you will be ok. You will come through this, and you will be ok.

dudara · 02-07-2018 10:40pm

Stay strong OP.

One thing that I have observed over the years is that the guilty party (in this case your husband) is rarely 100% honest at the start. They tend to tell the most positivity story they can and the full truth comes out later in the wash. They shift the blame to other parties, they only had a kiss, then they only shared a bed, then...

Go to the counseling, but think for yourself. This issue won’t be resolved until your husband commits 100% (if ever)

rainbowtrout · 02-07-2018 10:46pm

dudara wrote: »

One thing that I have observed over the years is that the guilty party (in this case your husband) is rarely 100% honest at the start. They tend to tell the most positivity story they can and the full truth comes out later in the wash. They shift the blame to other parties, they only had a kiss, then they only shared a bed, then...

Very true. First she was a friend, then it was Mary, then it's a friend he can talk to, then it's a friend he shares problems with, then it's someone he texts, then it's someone he can have a laugh with, then it's someone he finds attractive, more attractive than his wife, then it's someone he's not willing to give up the friendship with for the sake of his marriage....... Where does it stop, and how much has he still not revealed?

Finchie1276 · 02-07-2018 10:51pm

Every relationship will have its stuff, patterns that don't work, behaviours out of kilter etc. Its easy to get emotional quickly (thats OK). BUT - when it comes to fixing it you have to hang in there. Its easy to walk away - I nearly did (I'm a guy) tons of times. But the glue that holds stuff together is made from experiences like this. I'm not advocating hanging in and being treated like crap but I am advocating being a bit cooler emotionally and making it easier to have a conversation about this. OK, so he told you all about their relationship, he feels some shame for being discovered - he is allowed talk to other women but he feels he cant. THere is lots to explore here that might make things better than ever but that requires both of you to commit.

LegacyUser · 03-07-2018 1:22pm

So sorry to hear about what you're going through, OP. Your husband has said some horrible things to you. The thing that stuck out the most for me is that he is not willing to end this "friendship" for the sake of your marriage. If I were in your shoes that would be the thing that would have me walk away from the marriage. It is so disgustingly disrespectful! And it shows so clearly how much more he values this woman and her feelings over you, his wife.

Try counselling - but don't be afraid to prioritise yourself in all this, he certainly isn't.

Heartbrokenlol · 04-07-2018 8:53am

Thank you everyone for your replies and advice. I'm feeling much stronger as the days go on, I have my moments but I don't dwell on them.
We had our first counselling session and it went well for the first time. We are both ready to talk and be open and honest. The issue with him still wanting to be friends with her is no longer an issue. However there is one thing still niggling at me, she works there. It's not like he can just quit his job.
I've most definitely been putting time into myself and spending time with my wonderful friends and family and my dog or as I call him my guardian angel.
I'm still hurting and I don't know what the future holds.

Big Bag of Chips · 04-07-2018 2:22pm

Working with her might be fine, if he realises he needs to back off from the cosy chats with her. She should be treated the same way he treats his other colleagues. I know the fact that she is still around will have you up the walls with paranoia (understandably) and if he is serious about making your marriage works, it is something he needs to make allowances for.

He is the one who has to prove something here. The onus is on him to make you feel like you have nothing to worry about. The onus is on both of you to give your marriage the attention it has been lacking. Hopefully, it will continue in the right direction.

Heartbrokenlol · 20-07-2018 9:08am

Hi everyone,
So it has been a few weeks since I've posted and it has been a really tough few weeks. I'm drained. We are at couple's counselling and I'm actually in my own personal counselling as well.
He goes between wanting to work on it to saying he doesn't know what he wants. He says he feels changed by me and that I always get what I want. I find this unfair, I've always consulted him or tried to talk everything through.

When he gets upset etc his tongue is vicious, he got very wound up the other day and said I hope your dog dies, he knew that would hurt.

I also found out that a few days after our first counselling session he rang this other woman and they talked about it. This was a huge betrayal and a turning point for me.

I'm seeing that, yes I have insecurities about his friendships with other women and I am working on this with my therapist. I need to get help with that no matter what, no excuses. I can see how he felt smothered by it.

I thought I was getting stronger but had a really bad night last night, cried for hours. I feel so, so lonely it's all consuming. How did I end up like this? A man that was my best friend is now like a stranger. He said he doesn't know what he wants, he's not happy, he should want me and our life but he's not happy.

How much longer before I've completely compromised myself by trying with a man who isn't sure if he wants me or not. I'm his wife. I never thought we'd be here.

TheBoyConor · 20-07-2018 9:43am

I think the marriage has run its course. Sometimes it is just as simple as that.
At the end of the day the relationship is not making either of ye happy but is making you both miserable. Might be better just to call it a day.

Heartbrokenlol · 20-07-2018 9:52am

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I think the marriage has run its course. Sometimes it is just as simple as that.
At the end of the day the relationship is not making either of ye happy but is making you both miserable. Might be better just to call it a day.

I think you're right. I've just never felt pain or loneliness like this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

FurBabyMomma · 20-07-2018 9:59am

This marriage cannot work if he refuses to take any portion of the blame, deflects everything back at you and continues to have contact with this woman outside of a normal working relationship. Has your counsellor given you advice on what you both need to work on, as so far it doesn't seem like he's willing to make any changes? And as for the comment about your dog, that's inexcusable. I don't know why he would go out of his way to be so nasty and hurtful to someone he's supposed to love. I really think there need to be some ground rules set and agreed upon, with the help of your counsellor, and if he doesn't make the effort then you have your answer I'm afraid.

Hannibal_Smith · 20-07-2018 10:03am

He seems to say a lot that's hurtful. Then the next minute he's saying the absolute opposite. How your head ins't wrecked by that alone I will never know. Are you insecure with other people or just with him? If there is a constant flip in what you're hearing it's no wonder you'd be insecure about what to believe.

At the end of the day, if he spoke to her again, you're right that is a huge betrayal and you'd have to wonder going forward whether she will be his fall back if you do get passed all of this and move on.

Seems as though its started to get really vicious though. Is it worth it?

Heartbrokenlol · 20-07-2018 10:35am

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

He seems to say a lot that's hurtful. Then the next minute he's saying the absolute opposite. How your head ins't wrecked by that alone I will never know. Are you insecure with other people or just with him? If there is a constant flip in what you're hearing it's no wonder you'd be insecure about what to believe.

At the end of the day, if he spoke to her again, you're right that is a huge betrayal and you'd have to wonder going forward whether she will be his fall back if you do get passed all of this and move on.

Seems as though its started to get really vicious though. Is it worth it?

My head is wrecked. No I'm not insecure with other people. I'd actually be seen as very strong and independent, which I am but when it comes to him, not so much.
Therapist is saying communication is a big issue, look at what you say but figure out what it is you really feel or want to say....when he gets upset or whatever he says hurtful stuff. No excuses.
I'm just sick of the indecisiveness from him. Despite everything I was willing to work on it. He keeps saying I won't forgive the thing with this other woman and I'll be asking has contacted her etc and he can't live like that.

LegacyUser · 20-07-2018 11:10am

OP....
This is truly a heart-wrenching situation.
I don't want to sound harsh, but you really need to make a decision - and make it fast.
I'm not talking about whether or not to leave....I'm talking about how fast you leave.

I don't want to state the obvious, but if your husband can't see the issue, and discusses your marital problems and counselling sessions with the other woman, then, well, I think you know where his priorities lie.
I'm not even going to mention the comment about the dog.

Personally, I think this would be the last straw for me....and I've been there (I'm STILL in counselling with my partner, but we're both committed, and the results have been hugely positive)
What good is private counselling if one party is openly discussing it with a third party who was the cause of the problem in the first place.

It's so sad reading your entries here OP. I really hope you get through this, either with or without your husband.

I know it's tough to make a decision to cut someone out of your life, but what you really have to decide is whether your quality of life is improved or worsened by remaining in this marriage.
For what it's worth...
Give the counselling another couple of shots....if you're not seeing an immediate improvement in communication, affection and loyalty on your Husbands part, I think you know it's time to move on.
I'm truly sorry for you OP....either way, you're going to be a stronger person at the end of this episode.
Please take care of yourself

Hannibal_Smith · 20-07-2018 11:17am

Heartbrokenlol wrote: »

My head is wrecked. No I'm not insecure with other people. I'd actually be seen as very strong and independent, which I am but when it comes to him, not so much.
Therapist is saying communication is a big issue, look at what you say but figure out what it is you really feel or want to say....when he gets upset or whatever he says hurtful stuff. No excuses.
I'm just sick of the indecisiveness from him. Despite everything I was willing to work on it. He keeps saying I won't forgive the thing with this other woman and I'll be asking has contacted her etc and he can't live like that.

Sounds like he's trying to lay blame at your door if this all goes t*ts up. He called her days after your first counselling session. Where's his effort to show you that you should trust him? He's the one who broke your trust. It's not fair to saying something like that to you at all.

I always wonder when otherwise strong people become insecure in certain relationships. When a person keeps flipping what they're saying, how is that a strong foundation of someone you can trust? Obviously go with what your counsellor tells you, but sometimes insecurity in a relationship I think is something you need to listen to. If you were like that with everyone else, that would be different, in my opinion anyway

dellas1979 · 20-07-2018 11:33am

Sounds like he doesnt have the balls to end things, so he is going to push it on to you to make that decision. Will devoid him of responsibility of course.
Am afraid you are going to have to take the bulls by the horns, take some control, and start making some decisions, for yourself.
From what you say, you are putting a lot of effort into this. If this was myself, I would feel ive tried. I tried. So, Id walk away with no regrets.

LegacyUser · 20-07-2018 1:07pm

Hi OP, I wanted to post here because I was that awful person who had an affair. Also with a work colleague. Mine started as emotional...went on like that for ages and then turned physical.

So I wanted to write to you to let you know what was going on for me when all of this happened and how myself and my husband fixed our marriage after it.

I can relate to everything you say your husband is doing. I was the exact same when in his shoes. There’s no excuse. It’s terrible.

He’s pushing blame onto you to validate his own behaviour, to rationalise it to himself, to make himself feel justified in how he behaves with her.

One thing I’ll say is DO NOT allow him to continue this ‘friendship’ with this woman. What he has is not a friendship. It’s a lot deeper. I tried to do this-to hold on to my friendship with the other man. Insisting it was platonic. Insisting to myself, my husband and the other man. But it always ended up back into affair-ville.

My husband was v patient with me. He stayed loving me, even though we effectively split over it all. I thought I had fallen out of love with my husband. I treated him so appallingly. It was unforgivable really but he did forgive me and to be honest, our marriage is better now than it ever was.

It took a long time for us to get to this point. The ONLY thing that worked was me cutting the other man out of my life completely. I thought I loved this other man but then I realised that he was just as appalling a person as me, that he was disrespectful to me as I was to him and that at the end of the day an affair is an affair and this is truly such a deceitful thing to do.

Myself and my husband went to counselling too. We also had a few sessions on our own. We used Accord. I behaved the way your husband has throughout the sessions. Lashing out verbally at my husband and blaming him for controlling me etc. He wasn’t, it was just my way of validating my behaviour to myself.

Don’t think of your marriage as dead just yet. It will be if he doesn’t cut contact with this woman. And I mean CUT. I blocked the other man on my phone, my whatsapp, FB, instagram Etc. And I moved jobs..taking a €10k hit in doing so.

For a long time I wanted to leave my husband and be with this guy who I thought was my soulmate and best friend.

I think when I look back on it all I was loopers at the time. Almost like an addict. I was addicted to the other man. I didn’t even think about the realistic effect of what was going to happen to my future or my husbands. I didn’t care. I behaved abominably.

OP, if your husband still wants contact with this woman in ANY shape or form, he’s saying he still wants an emotional affair with her. Whether or not he even thinks that himself. That’s what it is.

He’ll have to cut all contact. It’s beyond inappropriate. If he refuses to do this then he has chosen her over you. If you want to save your marriage then stick with the counselling and push him to make hard decisions. He can’t have you and her because in effect, that means he has you and a mistress of sorts.

It took me a LONG time to see sense. What I did to my husband I wouldn’t wish on anyone. All I’m saying is that sometimes bad stories have happy endings. Good luck OP.

TheBoyConor · 20-07-2018 2:15pm

Your husband was weak and a doormat to take you back after you cheating on him like that.

OP, this is not good advice. Don't be like this woman's husband and be a doormat for a cheating spouse.

LegacyUser · 20-07-2018 2:36pm

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Your husband was weak and a doormat to take you back after you cheating on him like that.

OP, this is not good advice. Don't be like this woman's husband and be a doormat for a cheating spouse.

You’re entitled to your opinion.
For what it’s worth myself and my husband are now better than ever, very much in love and we have a great life together.
It worked out well for us in the end thankfully.
My husband is certainly not a door mat. He’s the strongest person I know emotionally and mentally.

LegacyUser · 20-07-2018 2:48pm

I can see the point that The Boy Conor is making...and it's valid up to a point.
All Relationships are unique.
I accept that the advice I gave was to take a long hard look at the situation and make a decision based on the husbands actions. I stand by that.

I also think that the post by Gone Anon was genuine and thought provoking.
It's one of the most honest posts I;ve ever read in this forum...from an offending partner.

People stray for different reasons. Sometimes they just fall into a loop and look for excuses to justify their behaviour - ANY behaviour.
The fact that Gone Anon woke up and realised her mistake, proves that people can change, and that relationships can be rebuilt.
I agree with her that the OPs husband needs to walk away from his job and ANY contact with the other woman - otherwise their marriage is doomed.

I'd also like to add.....and I'm really sorry for having to say this (it's been alluded to earlier), but having re-read the OPs original and subsequent posts, I think this emotional affair has already moved to the next stage and become physical.
For a man to form an emotional affair it's usually AFTER the physicality...for a woman, it's generally the other way around - the Emotional part comes first.

Heartbrokenlol · 20-07-2018 2:57pm

Gone Anon_i had an affair wrote: »

Hi OP, I wanted to post here because I was that awful person who had an affair. Also with a work colleague. Mine started as emotional...went on like that for ages and then turned physical.

So I wanted to write to you to let you know what was going on for me when all of this happened and how myself and my husband fixed our marriage after it.

I can relate to everything you say your husband is doing. I was the exact same when in his shoes. There’s no excuse. It’s terrible.

He’s pushing blame onto you to validate his own behaviour, to rationalise it to himself, to make himself feel justified in how he behaves with her.

One thing I’ll say is DO NOT allow him to continue this ‘friendship’ with this woman. What he has is not a friendship. It’s a lot deeper. I tried to do this-to hold on to my friendship with the other man. Insisting it was platonic. Insisting to myself, my husband and the other man. But it always ended up back into affair-ville.

My husband was v patient with me. He stayed loving me, even though we effectively split over it all. I thought I had fallen out of love with my husband. I treated him so appallingly. It was unforgivable really but he did forgive me and to be honest, our marriage is better now than it ever was.

It took a long time for us to get to this point. The ONLY thing that worked was me cutting the other man out of my life completely. I thought I loved this other man but then I realised that he was just as appalling a person as me, that he was disrespectful to me as I was to him and that at the end of the day an affair is an affair and this is truly such a deceitful thing to do.

Myself and my husband went to counselling too. We also had a few sessions on our own. We used Accord. I behaved the way your husband has throughout the sessions. Lashing out verbally at my husband and blaming him for controlling me etc. He wasn’t, it was just my way of validating my behaviour to myself.

Don’t think of your marriage as dead just yet. It will be if he doesn’t cut contact with this woman. And I mean CUT. I blocked the other man on my phone, my whatsapp, FB, instagram Etc. And I moved jobs..taking a €10k hit in doing so.

For a long time I wanted to leave my husband and be with this guy who I thought was my soulmate and best friend.

I think when I look back on it all I was loopers at the time. Almost like an addict. I was addicted to the other man. I didn’t even think about the realistic effect of what was going to happen to my future or my husbands. I didn’t care. I behaved abominably.

OP, if your husband still wants contact with this woman in ANY shape or form, he’s saying he still wants an emotional affair with her. Whether or not he even thinks that himself. That’s what it is.

He’ll have to cut all contact. It’s beyond inappropriate. If he refuses to do this then he has chosen her over you. If you want to save your marriage then stick with the counselling and push him to make hard decisions. He can’t have you and her because in effect, that means he has you and a mistress of sorts.

It took me a LONG time to see sense. What I did to my husband I wouldn’t wish on anyone. All I’m saying is that sometimes bad stories have happy endings. Good luck OP.

Thank you for your reply. It's interesting to see it from another perspective.
I've made clear he can't be in contact etc...He agreed and says he hasn't but how do I trust that.

It's bothering me that he keeps saying he doesn't know what he wants, like how bloody dare he. Shouldn't the obvious choice be me, his marriage?? The fact that it's not speaks volumes.

We've been together 10 years, all this has happened in the space of three weeks. I feel so drained. I seem angry at him, he's being a coward. I deserve, and want, better, it's hard to walk away.

dudara · 20-07-2018 2:58pm

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Your husband was weak and a doormat to take you back after you cheating on him like that.

OP, this is not good advice. Don't be like this woman's husband and be a doormat for a cheating spouse.

It’s fine to say that when you’re young or have an inexperienced view of relationships. It’s a very one-dimensional view. But life can teach you differently. I think that was an excellent, honest post and it shows the many different complexities that long term relationships have to navigate.

OP - I’d urge you to read that post carefully. If your husband isn’t showing any evidence of cutting ties with this person, or is continuing to blame you, then he’s still involved in the affair. And while he’s involved in the affair, he wil never sincerely try to resolve your relationship.

It might be time for you to call his bluff. But if he doesn’t react, you’ll have to be prepared to walk away

Husband had an emotional affair

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