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To parents of children who are over weight, why can't we say anything to you?

  • 28-06-2018 10:39PM
    #1
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭


    This is a gripe I really have.

    I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

    But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

    I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

    I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

    Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Mysterypunter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,862 ✭✭✭Mysterypunter


    No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion


  • #3
    m5ex9oqjawdg2i
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,217 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    sexmag wrote: »
    This is a gripe I really have.

    I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

    But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

    I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child honest basically what she eats

    I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

    Well, you could, but then expect people tell you to fcuk off.


  • #4
    Twenty Grand
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,427 ✭✭✭Twenty Grand


    You're not wrong. But there's nothing more self righteous than a parent.

    Besides, sure you don't have kids, so you couldn't possibly understand :rolleyes:


  • #5
    amcalester
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,097 ✭✭✭amcalester


    She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.


  • #6
    RhubarbCrumble
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭RhubarbCrumble


    amcalester wrote: »
    She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.

    You mean she's 'strong'.


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  • #7
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    To a strangers kid I don't know why it's happening, I ain't going to pass comment on it as it may be something someone is struggling to handle. If it was a kid of Friends or family, I'd bring it up, but try to do so from a supportive point of view.


  • #8
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Cos
    it's Glandular,
    It's a side effect of the steroids they take for their asthma,
    They're just big boned....

    All things I have had said to me by the parents(Well 1 parent, who browbeats the other any time a positive change is tried) of a child who at 10y.o was over 4'6" and over 10.5 stone and inhaled food.
    The only time the kid ever wheezed was when they had to look for the remote or rush to the bathroom.
    Seriously, a bout of bronchitis at 3(when the kid was already overweight) and no instance of short breath from anything other than exertion since then!
    As for food, it's sad to see the poor kid is fed as a substitute for actual attention.


  • #9
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,611 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • #10
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Nobody likes a busybody, OP.


  • #11
    Bredabe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Bredabe


    If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

    "Have you ever wagged your tail so hard you fell over"?-Brod Higgins.



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  • #12
    Prominent_Dawg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 986 ✭✭✭Prominent_Dawg


    I think the idea of you saying something suggests you have the child's interests prioritised more than the child's own parent, therefore you're contradicting their parenting, and when it comes to our own children I think the majority of us like to think we do the best for them.. however I agree its not right!


  • #13
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Bredabe wrote: »
    If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

    Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.


  • #14
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,478 ✭✭✭wexie


    That's 2 overweight kids threads today

    Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384


  • #15
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    _Dara_ wrote: »
    Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.

    If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

    I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight


  • #16
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,478 ✭✭✭wexie


    sexmag wrote: »
    If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

    Saying something is one thing, being able to actually get through to the parents and encouraging some form of change is something else entirely.

    Even if a dr said something I'd have to guess a lot of these people will simply not take it on board.


  • #17
    Filmer Paradise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Filmer Paradise


    Never ever underestimate how stupid a lot of people are. Half the country are digging their own graves with knives and forks as we speak.

    I just can't believe the number of outright obese people around these days.:confused:

    It seems over the last 20 years or so, half the population didn't care how fat they get & the other half became Gym-bunnies or are running the legs off themselves or becoming Vegan or whatever...

    It's all gone to total extremes.


  • #18
    bazz26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,901 ✭✭✭✭bazz26


    If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.


  • #19
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?


  • #20
    Bredabe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Bredabe


    sexmag wrote: »
    If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

    I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

    You may or may not be listened to, but my thinking is that someone who isn't an HCP who can be of some use about the situation, its just enforcing thinking without full knowledge on someone who does have full knowledge.

    * Given the length of waiting lists, and the lack of diagnostics know how there could well be an underlying issue only a TMP can advise on correctly.

    "Have you ever wagged your tail so hard you fell over"?-Brod Higgins.



  • #21
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    sexmag wrote: »
    This is a gripe I really have.

    I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

    But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

    I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

    I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

    Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

    You seem to have uncovered new evidence about the relationship between genetics and weight - why aren't you talking to scientists instead of posting here...?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • #22
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    sexmag wrote: »
    If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

    I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

    Of course. Are you the child’s GP?


  • #23
    Bredabe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Bredabe


    wexie wrote: »
    That's 2 overweight kids threads today

    Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384
    I spotted that as well and the broad popular dietary advice was scary and it could make some conditions actually worse.

    I have a friend who is naturally skinny(its a gene thing), she hates this weather as it makes her body issues worse. Harder for her to ignore more rounded 'feminine' shaped women.

    "Have you ever wagged your tail so hard you fell over"?-Brod Higgins.



  • #24
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    bazz26 wrote: »
    If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

    I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late


  • #25
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Mysterypunter wrote:
    No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion


    Nothing wrong with having an opinion. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have manners.


  • #26
    Fighting Tao
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,520 ✭✭✭Fighting Tao


    It’s your name that’s the problem. I don’t think any parent would want someone called sexmag looking at their children in any way yet alone talking about them.


  • #27
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    sexmag wrote:
    I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late


    Would you criticise them if they smoked in the house or in the same car as the kids?


  • #28
    Hitman3000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,593 ✭✭✭Hitman3000


    Two threads in the same day about overweight kids?....mmmm...


  • #29
    Prominent_Dawg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 986 ✭✭✭Prominent_Dawg


    Hapax Legomenon wrote: »
    Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?

    You know what they say about problems... '20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them'.. It's not your problem!


  • #30
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    sugarman wrote: »
    I remember 20 years ago in primary school there was maybe one fat kid per class...

    ...yesterday a whole class of school kids walked past me on a nature walk with their teacher in the park, every single one of them was overweight with one or two being obese.

    I seriously doubt they were all overweight. Or even half of them.


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  • #31
    bazz26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,901 ✭✭✭✭bazz26


    sexmag wrote: »
    I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

    Stranger or not you seem to be missing the point, the majority of people don't like it when others tell them how they think they should live or how they should be raising their children, no matter how right you think it is. It's really none of your business no matter how much you think it.


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