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Child Item

To parents of children who are over weight, why can't we say anything to you?

sexmag

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

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Mysterypunter

No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child honest basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Well, you could, but then expect people tell you to fcuk off.

Twenty Grand

You're not wrong. But there's nothing more self righteous than a parent.

Besides, sure you don't have kids, so you couldn't possibly understand :rolleyes:

amcalester

She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.

RhubarbCrumble

amcalester wrote: »

She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.

You mean she's 'strong'.

Dravokivich

To a strangers kid I don't know why it's happening, I ain't going to pass comment on it as it may be something someone is struggling to handle. If it was a kid of Friends or family, I'd bring it up, but try to do so from a supportive point of view.

banie01

Cos
it's Glandular,
It's a side effect of the steroids they take for their asthma,
They're just big boned....

All things I have had said to me by the parents(Well 1 parent, who browbeats the other any time a positive change is tried) of a child who at 10y.o was over 4'6" and over 10.5 stone and inhaled food.
The only time the kid ever wheezed was when they had to look for the remote or rush to the bathroom.
Seriously, a bout of bronchitis at 3(when the kid was already overweight) and no instance of short breath from anything other than exertion since then!
As for food, it's sad to see the poor kid is fed as a substitute for actual attention.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

_Dara_

Nobody likes a busybody, OP.

Bredabe

If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

Prominent_Dawg

I think the idea of you saying something suggests you have the child's interests prioritised more than the child's own parent, therefore you're contradicting their parenting, and when it comes to our own children I think the majority of us like to think we do the best for them.. however I agree its not right!

_Dara_

Bredabe wrote: »

If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.

wexie

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

sexmag

_Dara_ wrote: »

Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

wexie

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

Saying something is one thing, being able to actually get through to the parents and encouraging some form of change is something else entirely.

Even if a dr said something I'd have to guess a lot of these people will simply not take it on board.

Filmer Paradise

Never ever underestimate how stupid a lot of people are. Half the country are digging their own graves with knives and forks as we speak.

I just can't believe the number of outright obese people around these days.

It seems over the last 20 years or so, half the population didn't care how fat they get & the other half became Gym-bunnies or are running the legs off themselves or becoming Vegan or whatever...

It's all gone to total extremes.

bazz26

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

Yer Da sells Avon

Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?

Bredabe

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

You may or may not be listened to, but my thinking is that someone who isn't an HCP who can be of some use about the situation, its just enforcing thinking without full knowledge on someone who does have full knowledge.

* Given the length of waiting lists, and the lack of diagnostics know how there could well be an underlying issue only a TMP can advise on correctly.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

You seem to have uncovered new evidence about the relationship between genetics and weight - why aren't you talking to scientists instead of posting here...?

_Dara_

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

Of course. Are you the child’s GP?

Bredabe

wexie wrote: »

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

I spotted that as well and the broad popular dietary advice was scary and it could make some conditions actually worse.

I have a friend who is naturally skinny(its a gene thing), she hates this weather as it makes her body issues worse. Harder for her to ignore more rounded 'feminine' shaped women.

sexmag

bazz26 wrote: »

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

[Deleted User]

Mysterypunter wrote:

No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion

Nothing wrong with having an opinion. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have manners.

Fighting Tao

It’s your name that’s the problem. I don’t think any parent would want someone called sexmag looking at their children in any way yet alone talking about them.

[Deleted User]

sexmag wrote:

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

Would you criticise them if they smoked in the house or in the same car as the kids?

Hitman3000

Two threads in the same day about overweight kids?....mmmm...

Prominent_Dawg

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?

You know what they say about problems... '20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them'.. It's not your problem!

_Dara_

sugarman wrote: »

I remember 20 years ago in primary school there was maybe one fat kid per class...

...yesterday a whole class of school kids walked past me on a nature walk with their teacher in the park, every single one of them was overweight with one or two being obese.

I seriously doubt they were all overweight. Or even half of them.

bazz26

sexmag wrote: »

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

Stranger or not you seem to be missing the point, the majority of people don't like it when others tell them how they think they should live or how they should be raising their children, no matter how right you think it is. It's really none of your business no matter how much you think it.