When did parents stop parenting?

Blanchy90 · 05-06-2018 02:06PM #1

Bit of a rant haha

Absolutely sick of all the kids out playing in the common area in our apartment block.The rules of the complex are that children must be supervised at all times, no ball games at all and children must be quiet as not to disturb everyone in the complex.

I have no problem with kids playing but these kids have no manners at all. They are constantly running around screaming all day and into the night. There's kinds as young as 3-5 out completely unsupervised out till 9:30pm and there's regularly toddlers out with older siblings (5-7)

I don't know how the parents let the kids out like that, the complex has a gate but there's always people coming in and out so anything could happen.

Also no 5 year old should be out playing at 9:30pm on a school night.

End rant haha

Kimbot · 05-06-2018 02:07PM

Blanchy90 wrote: »

Bit of a rant haha

Absolutely sick of all the kids out playing in the common area in our apartment block.The rules of the complex are that children must be supervised at all times, no ball games at all and children must be quiet as not to disturb everyone in the complex.

I have no problem with kids playing but these kids have no manners at all. They are constantly running around screaming all day and into the night. There's kinds as young as 3-5 out completely unsupervised out till 9:30pm and there's regularly toddlers out with older siblings (5-7)

I don't know how the parents let the kids out like that, the complex has a gate but there's always people coming in and out so anything could happen.

Also no 5 year old should be out playing at 9:30pm on a school night.

End rant haha

Have you brought the issue up with the Management Committee?

verycool · 05-06-2018 02:09PM

I voted yes.

Blanchy90 · 05-06-2018 02:09PM

Kimbot wrote: »

Have you brought the issue up with the Management Committee?

We have had a lot of interaction with the management company about it and they have sent out a few letters with the rules highlighted.

A few neighbors have raised it separately, being on the ground floor its getting unbearable having little

****s

...angels screaming outside the bedroom window when a baby is trying to sleep

eviltwin · 05-06-2018 02:20PM

Modern living eh? Apartment complexes aren't really the environment for kids, I'd say a lot of their parents would prefer a house with a garden or green space so not fair on anyone. Kids need room to run around and they need to be able to play and be noisy, it's part of what childhood is all about, they need to be kids but in this kind of space it's very intrusive on everyone.

05-06-2018 02:23PM

Sounds like Dublin in the rare ould times to me

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-06-2018 02:26PM

I do have sympathy with you, but I think the thread title is a bit misleading.

Where I live the majority of kids are pretty well behaved, polite and are called in at a reasonable time at night. But there's a minority whose children are rude, have no respect for other people's property or privacy, and are still out shouting and roaring and kicking balls around until all hours. They're very annoying and frustrating, but they're the product of a minority of parents.

But re your situation, yes I can see that it's annoying. A lot of people seem to think that Management Company rules and regulations are just a box ticking exercise, and they can ignore them once they've moved into their property.

Blanchy90 · 05-06-2018 02:30PM

Tinley Skinny Self-preservation wrote: »

I do have sympathy with you, but I think the thread title is a bit misleading.

Where I live the majority of kids are pretty well behaved, polite and are called in at a reasonable time at night. But there's a minority whose children are rude, have no respect for other people's property or privacy, and are still out shouting and roaring and kicking balls around until all hours. They're very annoying and frustrating, but they're the product of a minority of parents.

But re your situation, yes I can see that it's annoying. A lot of people seem to think that Management Company rules and regulations are just a box ticking exercise, and they can ignore them once they've moved into their property.

Its the opposite where I am I can honestly say I've never seen the parents of most of these kids there just left to run wild, Ive had to tell toddlers not to play in the underground carpark....

There are a small number of kids who are well behaved and the parents are out and about with them, but the majority of they are rude / talk back / damage the communal property and in general are just a nuisance

seamus · 05-06-2018 02:44PM

Blanchy90 wrote: »

The rules of the complex are that children must be supervised at all times, no ball games at all and children must be quiet as not to disturb everyone in the complex.

Classic copy-and-paste rules from someone without a clue tbh.

All well-and-good when everyone in the complex is under 30 or over 50. But in between, you're not going to get someone to stand outside supervising their 7/8/9 year old. And you're not going to be able to stop kids playing games or making noise. It's what they do. Whoever put that in the rules was a clueless idiot.

The problem is not that the kids are running around, it's that you don't have a pen to put them in. Good old Celtic tiger built apartments with a carpark in the middle, interspersed with a few sections of shrubbery and trees.
Should never have been allowed through the planning process.

Every apartment block should either contain leisure amenities like green areas and playgrounds, or be no more than 250m from such public amenities, with a clear and direct route from the apartments to the amenity. If you can't do that, you don't get planning.

Anyway, my suggestion is that rather than have a management committee sending out snarky letters and everyone laughing at them, organise a way to have a space where kids can congregate.

SEPT 23 1989 · 05-06-2018 02:46PM

blame the planners and developers

whisky_galore · 05-06-2018 02:50PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Modern living eh? Apartment complexes aren't really the environment for kids, I'd say a lot of their parents would prefer a house with a garden or green space so not fair on anyone. Kids need room to run around and they need to be able to play and be noisy, it's part of what childhood is all about, they need to be kids but in this kind of space it's very intrusive on everyone.

How do the Continentals manage where apartment living is quite normal?

Are Am Eye · 05-06-2018 02:51PM

The essence of a good plan is simplicity.
Once plans get to complex everything can go wrong.

Colonel Claptrap · 05-06-2018 02:53PM

OP, did a parent never tell you to go out and play with the traffic as a kid?

Buckfast W · 05-06-2018 02:59PM

Blanchy90 wrote: »

Bit of a rant haha

Absolutely sick of all the kids out playing in the common area in our apartment block.The rules of the complex are that children must be supervised at all times, no ball games at all and children must be quiet as not to disturb everyone in the complex.

I have no problem with kids playing but these kids have no manners at all. They are constantly running around screaming all day and into the night. There's kinds as young as 3-5 out completely unsupervised out till 9:30pm and there's regularly toddlers out with older siblings (5-7)

I don't know how the parents let the kids out like that, the complex has a gate but there's always people coming in and out so anything could happen.

Also no 5 year old should be out playing at 9:30pm on a school night.

End rant haha

Can I ask where you live?

I've been onto my management company and Cluid this morning over the same issues.

OldMrBrennan83 · 05-06-2018 02:59PM

This post has been deleted.

05-06-2018 03:12PM

Blanchy90 wrote: »

We have had a lot of interaction with the management company about it and they have sent out a few letters with the rules highlighted.

A few neighbors have raised it separately, being on the ground floor its getting unbearable having little
****s
...angels screaming outside the bedroom window when a baby is trying to sleep

Come back to use when your baby is a little older and they are stuck inside a small apartment and tell us how your child is taken to the park 6 hours a day, plays quietly by themselves, never every runs anywhere, never raised their voice.

On Sunday followed a toddler who ran for over an hour on a walk while we all jogged to keep up with him, children have incredible energy and need to run around to use it up.

Graces7 · 05-06-2018 03:16PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Come back to use when your baby is a little older and they are stuck inside a small apartment and tell us how your child is taken to the park 6 hours a day, plays quietly by themselves, never every runs anywhere, never raised their voice.

On Sunday followed a toddler who ran for over an hour on a walk while we all jogged to keep up with him, children have incredible energy and need to run around to use it up.

We played outside on streets but we never made such a racket that neighbours wee disturbed. Not allowed to by parents etc.

They once set an Olympic athlete up to follow a toddler; guess who tired first...

Buckfast W · 05-06-2018 03:18PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Come back to use when your baby is a little older and they are stuck inside a small apartment and tell us how your child is taken to the park 6 hours a day, plays quietly by themselves, never every runs anywhere, never raised their voice.

On Sunday followed a toddler who ran for over an hour on a walk while we all jogged to keep up with him, children have incredible energy and need to run around to use it up.

There's a bit of a difference between children playing outside and children running wild completely unsupervised, these people seem to forget that these communal spaces aren't private playgrounds for there children. There are other residents there that don't have kids. Why should the majority be made suffer by a minority of people??

thomas 123 · 05-06-2018 03:26PM

Same issue in an estate with mixed accommodation Townhouse / detached houses.

I have an area with trees outside my Townhouse where the creche(Which is also in the estate) brings the toddlers up to play around(Loudly). Its also the hangout for the teens at night and 5-12 year olds during the day. All 5m away from my office/bedroom windows.

One time 3 kids used my gable wall to play hurling...

I knocked on the window before and the 3 kids looked back up at me as if to say who do you think you are.

I work from home so probably take issue with this more than most people.

All in all boo common areas and boo parents who have no respect for others privacy. I feel your pain OP.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-06-2018 03:27PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Come back to use when your baby is a little older and they are stuck inside a small apartment and tell us how your child is taken to the park 6 hours a day, plays quietly by themselves, never every runs anywhere, never raised their voice.

On Sunday followed a toddler who ran for over an hour on a walk while we all jogged to keep up with him, children have incredible energy and need to run around to use it up.

That doesn't mean that other residents have no rights to consideration though. Also, presumably these parents signed up to the Management rules when they bought or rented their apartments.

I agree there's a problem with many parents only being able to afford to live in apartments and apartments in Ireland not usually being constructed with family life in mind.

But their fellow residents have a right to quality of life too, and it seems in this case that parents are just letting their kids run wild around the place and making no effort to find some kind of compromise.

iamwhoiam · 05-06-2018 03:31PM

Patww79 wrote: »

Everything is the fault of [insert celebrity/company name here] these days. Nobody can be bothered rearing their own spawn any more. Too much like work.

Nobody ? That is not true , I see good parents all around me . My own grandchildren are beautifully behaved , disciplined . Their friends are well reared and well used to behaving and being corrected .

JupiterKid · 05-06-2018 03:34PM

whisky_galore wrote: »

How do the Continentals manage where apartment living is quite normal?

Because their apartment complexes are well built and well designed with designated areas for children to play in, decent sized apts with 3+ bedrooms, excellent sound insulation, good storage facilities, robust fittings, decent size living spaces etc. Close to parks, schools and other child friendly amenities.

Something most Irish apartment developers can’t seem capable of achieving as they build the worst possible quality rubbish on the cheap. Priory Hall wasn’t just an isolated case you know.

Developers think apts are only for single people and couples who will just live there temporarily and everyone wants to live in a suburban semi when they have kids or move to a one-off McMansion in the countryside where the kids will have to be ferried everywhere by car.

It’s bloody joke. And funnily enough, many of my friends on the continent that have a child or two can actually afford their well built apartment.

Irish builders and landlords are greed merchants who try to get away with the basic minimum. There are exceptions but these are exceptions. The truth hurts.

Now try posting this in the Accommodation and Property forum and see what response you’ll get from our “I’m all right jack” landlords class.

People in Ireland always talk about how raising children in the countryside is so much better. Is that because there are no decent options for them to do in towns and cities where accommodation standards are so shoddy and there are no decent play spaces? Yes the country can be a great place to raise a child, bit I’d wager many here would raise a child in a well built well designed affordable urban dwelling if they had the option.

Sad...:(

the_syco · 05-06-2018 03:40PM

whisky_galore wrote: »

How do the Continentals manage where apartment living is quite normal?

I'm guessing that the complexes have facilities for their tenants, and they're less sue happy if their kid falls over whilst playing.

whisky_galore · 05-06-2018 03:43PM

the_syco wrote: »

I'm guessing that the complexes have facilities for their tenants, and they're less sue happy if their kid falls over whilst playing.

Not necessarily to the first, without a doubt to the latter.

05-06-2018 03:43PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

blame the planners and developers

blame the ADHD and autism. That’s what plenty of Jayden and Kaydens have now, diagnosed by their full time mammy of course.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-06-2018 03:47PM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Because their apartment complexes are well built and well designed with designated areas for children to play in, decent sized apts with 3+ bedrooms, excellent sound insulation, good storage facilities, robust fitting, decent zize living spaces etc. Close to parks, schools and other child friendly amenities.

Something most Irish apartment developers can’t seem capable of achieving as they build the worst possible quality rubbish on the cheap. Priory Hall wasn’t just an isolated case you know.

Developers think apts are only for single people and couples who will just live there temporarily and everyone wants to live in a suburban semi when they have kids or move to a one-off McMansion in the countryside where the kids will have to be ferried everywhere by car.

It’s bloody joke. And funnily enough, many of my friends on the continent that have a child or two can actually afford their well built apartment.

Irish builders and landlords are greed merchants who try to get away with the basic minimum. There are exceptions but these are exceptions. The truth hurts.

Now try posting this in the Accommodation and Property forum and see what response you’ll get from our “I’m all right jack” landlords class.

People in Ireland always talk about how raising children in the countryside is so much better. Is that because there are no decent options for them to do in towns and cities where accommodation standards are so shoddy and there are no decent play spaces? Yes the country can be a great place to raise a child, bit I’d wager many here would raise a child in a well built well designed affordable urban dwelling if they had the option.

Sad...:(

Exactly. Builders and developers continue to view apartments as a 'passing through' phase of people's lives despite the increasing number of families, middle aged people and downsizers who now live in them. They get away with poor soundproofing, inadequate storage and promises of amenities that never materialise.

LirW · 05-06-2018 04:00PM

the_syco wrote: »

I'm guessing that the complexes have facilities for their tenants, and they're less sue happy if their kid falls over whilst playing.

Nope, you'd take the kid to the park where the playground is. It's just coming more and more to build blocks with playgrounds, it's definitely not a given. And as long as kids don't damage a property or act up, nobody gives a hoot if they play in the little green or the parking lot. I have the feeling people in some parts of Europe are just less touchy.
Also it's perfectly normal to take the kids out, you factor that into your day somehow. It's really not as much of a big deal as Irish people make it to be. I grew up in apartments, mostly non-complex, you simply accustom to the circumstances and everyone's fine.

Buckfast W · 05-06-2018 04:01PM

Tinley Skinny Self-preservation wrote: »

Exactly. Builders and developers continue to view apartments as a 'passing through' phase of people's lives despite the increasing number of families, middle aged people and downsizers who now live in them. They get away with poor soundproofing, inadequate storage and promises of amenities that never materialise.

All that is true but it doesn't absolve from bad parenting. Children should not be using an underground car park as a playground under any circumstances. In my estate the other week a child was almost knocked down by a car while playing in the underground. No doubt the parents of the child would be blaming the driver and not themselves if something serious had happened.

The Caveman · 05-06-2018 04:02PM

Blanchy90 wrote: »

Bit of a rant haha

Absolutely sick of all the kids out playing in the common area in our apartment block.The rules of the complex are that children must be supervised at all times, no ball games at all and children must be quiet as not to disturb everyone in the complex.

I have no problem with kids playing but these kids have no manners at all. They are constantly running around screaming all day and into the night. There's kinds as young as 3-5 out completely unsupervised out till 9:30pm and there's regularly toddlers out with older siblings (5-7)

I don't know how the parents let the kids out like that, the complex has a gate but there's always people coming in and out so anything could happen.

Also no 5 year old should be out playing at 9:30pm on a school night.

End rant haha

We must live in the same complex.

I could not believe that kids that young, is unsupervised.

I am not sure on their age, but must be between 3 and 4. No adult in sight.

Constant screaming/crying nonstop, from 6 pm ish when I get home, till well after 9 pm

Our Building Management will only get involved if it continues after 10 pm.

And, if yo uare a parent readign this, it is not OK to do this.

JupiterKid · 05-06-2018 04:05PM

A lot of the problems with poorly built apts that aren’t child friendly is down to poor/corrupt planning and a lack of a mature urban culture. We Irish (perhaps understandably) have a collective folk memory of the decrepit city tenements of the past or growing up in rural areas and see urban = bad and suburban or rural = good.

Remember Ireland urbanized a century after most developed countries. We only passed the 50% urban population mark in 1971 - less than 50 years ago. Combine this with an immature attitude to cities and good urban design, badly designed and built apartments that are too small and badly laid out and our obsession with land/property ownership and you have a recipe for the problems the OP complained about.

But the reality is that home ownership after a century of growth is in decline for 15 years now, private renting is the largest growing housing tenure, more apartments than ever are being built, the accelerating rate of urbanisation of our society and things will simply have to change.

For the record I’m an owner occupier of an apt and a landlord of another - but I can’t rent to families with children as the place I own is too small and unsuitable for families with children. However, many other landlords don’t seem to have a problem with that as long as they can squeeze the maximum possible rent out of their “investment.”

listermint · 05-06-2018 04:10PM

What i find amusing is these folks think they are in the Majority.

Look at the birth rates OP, you are the minority. Most of these people have no wish to live in a poxy size apartments next to grumpy yolks giving out. They would much prefer to be out somewhere with outside space for their children. But these are the cards that we dealt.

Il say what i say to all folks when they buy an apartment, You literally live on top of people, if you dont like noise then dont be a spanner and buy / rent an apartment. Live somewhere else.

Kids will play , people will make noise - people living on top of each other is a dream..................

When did parents stop parenting?

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