Bride not paying for bridemaids hair and make up

kk2014 · 04-05-2018 11:17AM #1

Can I ask if anyone else thinks it's weird for a bride not to pay for her bridesmaids hair and make up? Bride just getting it done for herself despite being a bridesmaid numerous time and always getting it done and loving it I might add!!

Call me Al · 04-05-2018 11:22AM

kk2014 wrote: »

Can I ask if anyone else thinks it's weird for a bride not to pay for her bridesmaids hair and make up? Bride just getting it done for herself despite being a bridesmaid numerous time and always getting it done and loving it I might add!!

Yes I think it is. And a bit mean. Unless her thinking is that you'd be getting it done professionally anyway? But even still I do think it's a bit miserly.
What is her explanation? Or has it been broached with her?

pc7 · 04-05-2018 11:22AM

Has she advised of a style she wants you's to have? I've been bridesmaids a few times, sometimes hair was done, others I just got a blow dry and arrived.

GingerLily · 04-05-2018 11:37AM

Do your own hair and makeup, and how you like it, don't pay for someone else to do it.

Very cheap and rude if the bride!!

woodchuck · 04-05-2018 11:42AM

It's unusual for sure, but unless the bride wants your hair and makeup done a particular way then I don't see the issue. You don't need to get your hair and makeup done professionally...

pc7 · 04-05-2018 11:48AM

GingerLily wrote: »

Very cheap and rude if the bride!!

Could be down to time, maybe having a few bridesmaids? Without knowing what the bride has said, we don't know all the facts.

kk2014 · 04-05-2018 11:51AM

She didn't spell it out initially just said "this is who I am getting to do my hair and my make up" etc. I heard this a few times and said eventually - oh lovely and is she doing ours too? She told me no she wasn't booking anyone to do ours and the conversation turned very awkward.

There are 4 bridesmaids and she has been bridesmaid for all of us - she is the last to get married. Hair and make and up has been for her all 4 times previously.

She didn't mention particular style that she wants us to get but to be honest I won't be getting it done if she isn't paying. It will have to be a DIY job as the wedding is in June so only next month and I hadn't factored in an extra €80 for hair and make up.

I wouldn't mind but she's loaded and must earn 70-80k minimum a year!!

lazygal · 04-05-2018 11:54AM

DIY if she's not paying. I'd probably want to look my best for the pictures though so I might look into getting it done and paying, but that's your call. Unless it was a casual wedding and everything was more relaxed.
It does seem a bit mean if she's not on a tight budget.

SarahS2013 · 04-05-2018 12:04PM

If she expects you to have it done professionally then that's bad form. I'd do it myself if I were you.

GingerLily · 04-05-2018 12:09PM

Don't spend too much on the Hen either!

kk2014 · 04-05-2018 12:12PM

GingerLily wrote: »

Don't spend too much on the Hen either!

I wouldn't mind but we had the hen already before I knew about this and spent a bloody fortune on it

Weddings can really bring out the craziness in people.

I would love to be treated and get my hair and make up done as I just found out I am pregnant and am feeling fairly crap but I will be doing a DIY job now.

Thanks girls!

SarahS2013 · 04-05-2018 12:14PM

Ah congratulations kk2014!!

august12 · 04-05-2018 12:14PM

kk2014 wrote:

I wouldn't mind but she's loaded and must earn 70-80k minimum a year!!

I'm not surprised, generally people with limited disposable income are normally more generous, I am surrounded by above type, constantly moaning about the price of this and that and earning way more than me, they hate spending money on anyone else. Do your own, don't spend a cent on getting a professional job but let her know you are doing your own,

kk2014 · 04-05-2018 12:16PM

SarahS2013 wrote: »

Ah congratulations kk2014!!

Thank you so much, over the moon!
Good job the wedding is only next month or I would be buying myself a new bridesmaids dress too ::pac:

kk2014 · 04-05-2018 12:18PM

august12 wrote: »

I'm not surprised, generally people with limited disposable income are normally more generous, I am surrounded by above type, constantly moaning about the price of this and that and earning way more than me, they hate spending money on anyone else. Do your own, don't spend a cent on getting a professional job but let her know you are doing your own,

Totally agree - myself and my husband have normal average jobs and just get by but are very happy and when we got married our wedding party were treated exceptionally because we didn't want them to incur any expenses.

These two are loaded - a real power couple if you know what I mean but seem to be miserably tight about everything to do with this wedding unless it's for them.

Always number 1 · 04-05-2018 12:21PM

GingerLily wrote: »

Don't spend too much on the Hen either!

Given that the wedding is next month, she's probably had her hen so she probably waited until after that to spring it on them ;-)

I think it's a bit miserable to not pay for your hair and make up given that ye have all paid for hers. If ye are a close enough group that you've all been each other's bridesmaids then surely she could have given ye more notice or could at least explain why she's behaving this way

GingerLily · 04-05-2018 12:22PM

Always number 1 wrote: »

GingerLily wrote: »

Don't spend too much on the Hen either!

Given that the wedding is next month, she's probably had her hen so she probably waited until after that to spring it on them ;-)

I think it's a bit miserable to not pay for your hair and make up given that ye have all paid for hers. If ye are a close enough group that you've all been each other's bridesmaids then surely she could have given ye more notice or could at least explain why she's behaving this way

You can still reel back though on the Hen itself - let the hen buy her own drinks etc. Not buying bottles of expensive prosecco....

august12 · 04-05-2018 01:01PM

GingerLily wrote:

You can still reel back though on the Hen itself - let the hen buy her own drinks etc. Not buying bottles of expensive prosecco....

The hen is over,

jimmycrackcorm · 04-05-2018 01:03PM

kk2014 wrote:

I would love to be treated and get my hair and make up done as I just found out I am pregnant and am feeling fairly crap but I will be doing a DIY job now.

Or get it professionally done and reduce the amount you'd give for a present by that cost.

Make sure to tell her that getting it done is part of your present to her

RhubarbCrumble · 04-05-2018 01:03PM

That's really tight. I've been a bridesmaid a few times and the bride has always paid for hair and make up. I've never known a bride who hasn't to be honest. I'd never expect the bridesmaids to pay for their own.

miamee · 04-05-2018 01:05PM

What are the other three bridesmaids going to do? If they are still getting theirs dine professionally but paying themselves, you might think about it unless you are good at doing your own make up. I'm only going by myself, I'm crap, the make up would be half gone before the photos were done :pac:

Just to add - I have been bridesmaid twice and both times the happy couple paid for hair and make up to be done and in one case, also for a spray tan and nails to be done. I paid for my own shoes at both and for a spray tan at the second one.

SarahS2013 · 04-05-2018 01:21PM

miamee wrote: »

What are the other three bridesmaids going to do? If they are still getting theirs dine professionally but paying themselves, you might think about it unless you are good at doing your own make up. I'm only going by myself, I'm crap, the make up would be half gone before the photos were done :pac:

Just to add - I have been bridesmaid twice and both times the happy couple paid for hair and make up to be done and in one case, also for a spray tan and nails to be done. I paid for my own shoes at both and for a spray tan at the second one.

This is in line with what I'm doing.
Paying for all hair and makeup (including Mammies) as well as nails and spray tans the night before for the BMs (I want us to all be the same colour

:D )

splinter65 · 05-05-2018 08:44AM

kk2014 wrote: »

Totally agree - myself and my husband have normal average jobs and just get by but are very happy and when we got married our wedding party were treated exceptionally because we didn't want them to incur any expenses.

These two are loaded - a real power couple if you know what I mean but seem to be miserably tight about everything to do with this wedding unless it's for them.

They have a spread sheet.
They’re having the wedding they want and working hard at not incurring any expense after the envelopes have been opened.
She wants 4 bridesmaids but has spent enough all ready on dresses and shoes.
€320 for hair and make will push them out of breaking even and into the red column on the spreadsheet.
The fact that you paid for her hair and make up on your wedding day indicates that you are fiscally incontinent.
Absolutely 200% do not pay for your own hair and make up or tan. Just get yourself ready as if for a night out.
Tight fisted gits.

Pkiernan · 05-05-2018 08:50AM

august12 wrote: »

I'm not surprised, generally people with limited disposable income are normally more generous, I am surrounded by above type, constantly moaning about the price of this and that and earning way more than me, they hate spending money on anyone else. Do your own, don't spend a cent on getting a professional job but let her know you are doing your own,

Remember that 54% of all wages over 34k goes to the Government

hairyprincess · 05-05-2018 08:53AM

It’s the American way. Bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup there.

Cash_Q · 05-05-2018 08:59AM

You must not be getting ready together then are you? So strange and mean. Definitely do as others suggested and take the cost out of your gift to her and tell her as much.

mcgiggles · 05-05-2018 09:40AM

hairyprincess wrote:

Itâ€™s the American way. Bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup there.

Bridesmaids pay for everything over there dresses the lot. But this girl has been bridesmaid for the rest of the friends so knows how things work over here. If she wants your hair in a certain style she should be paying for it! Otherwise DIY pet and huge congrats on your fantastic news! Don't let the bride dampen your joy

SheepGoHere · 05-05-2018 11:33AM

I don't think it's mean or tight.

I'm paying for my bridesmaids, but we discussed that when I asked them, they were surprised and pleased at the offer.

'Weddings bring out the craziness in people"...goes both ways.

splinter65 · 05-05-2018 02:11PM

SheepGoHere wrote: »

I don't think it's mean or tight.

I'm paying for my bridesmaids, but we discussed that when I asked them, they were surprised and pleased at the offer.

'Weddings bring out the craziness in people"...goes both ways.

In this case the bride was previously a bridesmaid at her current bridesmaids weddings and enjoyed having her hair and make up done for the occasion courtesy of the bride and groom.
You don’t think it’s a little bit mean if her not to return the favor?

SheepGoHere · 05-05-2018 09:53PM

splinter65 wrote: »

In this case the bride was previously a bridesmaid at her current bridesmaids weddings and enjoyed having her hair and make up done for the occasion courtesy of the bride and groom.
You don’t think it’s a little bit mean if her not to return the favor?

No, I really don't.

If I buy my bridesmaids a beautiful piece of jewellery and pay for their accommodation I will not be hanging around hoping for the same at their weddings.

It's best to address expectations early on to prevent these issues from popping up so close to the wedding, but I absolutely do not think it's mean or miserly or bad form for this bride to not offer to pay for multiple BM's hair and makeup.

Each to their own, with weddings and every thing else.

Mrs OBumble · 05-05-2018 10:12PM

Either accept that this is the what it is, smile and make the best of it.

Or put some big-girl panties on, and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel, and say that you don't want to be a bridesmaid under these circumstances.

Bride not paying for bridemaids hair and make up

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