Stag party

Heres Johnny · 27-04-2018 03:05PM

heretothere wrote: »

When I organised my sisters Hen I sent individual texts. I booked the hotel, meal and activity, but I said that I needed full payment 1 month before to pay the hotel and that if I didn't have their payment I couldn't book them in (I worded it nicer than that!) I also said it was non refundable. To cover the brides cost after I got a fairly certain number I just divided her cost between us all. Those websites that organise it for you are a rip off and the hotels they use are often way out of town.
I went to a hen last year which to call it poorly organised would be giving it too much credit! She never took any payments before the hen. More than half the girls cancelled spent more than €600 for 2 nights in Cork before buying a drink!!

Big difference between a hen and a stag party. Hen parties are planned to a tee. Stag parties tend not to be. I went to one with organised activities once and most people decided they'd rather stay in the pub, groom included. Most consist of just turning up, finding a pub that's a bit of craic and some women to talk to, sneaking off to a chipper for grub and back to the pub.
Everyone seems fine with that usually.
Trying to get loads of lads on a weekend away to follow a schedule is a load of hassle.
If you want an activity make sure it's before anyone has even had a chance to look at a pint. But I wouldn't bother to be honest.

heretothere · 27-04-2018 03:13PM

Sounds great!! I knew from listening to the lads at work that there aren't really activities/ planned dinner unless it's some sort of go-karting thing before hand. I suppose I was just trying to say I really wouldn't go booking anything for anyone without having the cash before hand. I know on booking.com you can usually cancel 24/48hrs in advance. But what if Dave suddenly can't make it on the day for whatever reason the Bestman shouldn't be left footing the bill and it'd be a lot harder to get the money after the fact.

27-04-2018 09:13PM

heretothere wrote: »

Sounds great!! I knew from listening to the lads at work that there aren't really activities/ planned dinner unless it's some sort of go-karting thing before hand. I suppose I was just trying to say I really wouldn't go booking anything for anyone without having the cash before hand. I know on booking.com you can usually cancel 24/48hrs in advance. But what if Dave suddenly can't make it on the day for whatever reason the Bestman shouldn't be left footing the bill and it'd be a lot harder to get the money after the fact.

If someone can't make it last minute they should still pay their share.

heretothere · 30-04-2018 05:09PM

Eduardo Easy Granola wrote: »

If someone can't make it last minute they should still pay their share.

They should. For a hen last year a girl we didn't know too well cancelled the morning of the hen. She was sharing a triple with me and my friend. It was an extra €90 each which I had not budgeted for. She just texted saying she was sick and couldn't go, didn't offer to pay for the hotel or anything.

SarahS2013 · 01-05-2018 04:20PM

heretothere wrote: »

They should. For a hen last year a girl we didn't know too well cancelled the morning of the hen. She was sharing a triple with me and my friend. It was an extra €90 each which I had not budgeted for. She just texted saying she was sick and couldn't go, didn't offer to pay for the hotel or anything.

So it was costing her €180 for her share in a triple room? :eek: Or am I reading that wrong?

ec18 · 01-05-2018 04:22PM

SarahS2013 wrote: »

So it was costing her €180 for her share in a triple room? :eek: Or am I reading that wrong?

I'd gather the 90 was the full price not just the room?

heretothere · 01-05-2018 06:29PM

ec18 wrote: »

I'd gather the 90 was the full price not just the room?

No it should have been €240 each for 2 nights the rate came down a bit as the hotel said theyd reduce the rate due to the breakfasts but it was the same triple room so we had to pay €350 each for the two nights. Horrified was not the word! For two nights in Cork. Myself and one of the other bridesmaids tried to convince the chief BM to go with a cheaper hotel but was having none of it. Anyway bride had a great time and knew none of this!

SarahS2013 · 01-05-2018 06:52PM

heretothere wrote: »

No it should have been €240 each for 2 nights the rate came down a bit as the hotel said theyd reduce the rate due to the breakfasts but it was the same triple room so we had to pay €350 each for the two nights. Horrified was not the word! For two nights in Cork. Myself and one of the other bridesmaids tried to convince the chief BM to go with a cheaper hotel but was having none of it. Anyway bride had a great time and knew none of this!

Mother of Jesus! I’m sorry you had to pay the extra money heretothere but I don’t really blame your friend for cancelling. €180 for 2 nights in a hotel + spending money for 2 nights out + activities + presumably travel to and from Cork? That’s a €500 weekend right there.

Heres Johnny · 01-05-2018 07:13PM

This is where I'm glad I'm male!
Get invited to a stag, just get told where and what dates. Suggested activity the very odd time
If you want to do 2 nights, do 2 nights. If you want 1 night that's fine.
If you want to stay where the stag is staying work away but no bother if you want to stay in a hostel or sleep in your car.
If you want to travel with the lads on the train by all means do but if you want to drive that's great.
If you want to do the activity you're welcome to if not sure stay in the pub watching football and we will see you after.
No groomzilla stuff the lads wouldn't be long telling you to cop on.

heretothere · 02-05-2018 09:55AM

SarahS2013 wrote: »

but I don’t really blame your friend for cancelling.

She could have done it before the day of the hen! We all knew the price when we agreed, when she didn't show it increased the price on us. We could have hopefully booked into a small room then.

Sephiroth_dude · 02-05-2018 11:44AM

When I went on my BIL Stag there was at least 12 people, the rooms were pre booked by the best man and he paid for them on arrival with a credit card and he collected the money then off of everyone.

woodchuck · 02-05-2018 12:10PM

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

When I went on my BIL Stag there was at least 12 people, the rooms were pre booked by the best man and he paid for them on arrival with a credit card and he collected the money then off of everyone.

I think that's just asking for trouble though if people cancel or people just don't have the cash handy etc. Everyone should pay in advance so that there are no issues on the day!

Stationmaster · 03-05-2018 06:02PM

There's only 2 things you need to do when organising a stag. Tell lads the dates and the destination. That's it.

04-05-2018 10:59AM

Stationmaster wrote: »

There's only 2 things you need to do when organising a stag. Tell lads the dates and the destination. That's it.

Any stag I've been to the accomidation has been sorted out also and I think its necessary as otherwise people will drag their hells (being lads) and not book in time, people wont be staying in the same place which is the ideal scenatio etc etc. Best man has always organised the accomidation (and the activity if there is on) and then just gave out bank details for all the people going to transfer the cost in advance.

beertons · 05-05-2018 09:07AM

You suit your budget to who you are asking though. Last one I was on was in Amsterdam. Very nice place, I'd never been before. I don't smoke weed or do mushies either. Probably cost 400.
Mine was in Galway years ago, and I'd say it cost me the same. I could do it much cheaper now though, staying in a hostel. But I'd have to get divorced first. Meh, not worth it.

Lads just want a bit of sport and drink. The hen's I've heard of lately had cruises on the Shannon, pampering, and bubbly. Women probably get value for their money, but it seems like alot of effort to me.

Heres Johnny · 05-05-2018 09:24AM

Eduardo Easy Granola wrote: »

Stationmaster wrote: »

There's only 2 things you need to do when organising a stag. Tell lads the dates and the destination. That's it.

Any stag I've been to the accomidation has been sorted out also and I think its necessary as otherwise people will drag their hells (being lads) and not book in time, people wont be staying in the same place which is the ideal scenatio etc etc. Best man has always organised the accomidation (and the activity if there is on) and then just gave out bank details for all the people going to transfer the cost in advance.

I've always had the opposite. Best man might give suggestions where to stay but that's about it. I don't think it's a problem if lads stay elsewhere from the groom.
Had one in lahinch before some of us had a few quid and stayed in the big hotel other lads didn't and stayed in the hostel.
When I was best man for my brother literally all I sent was a text saying where we were going, when we were going, suggestion about hotel and that it's probably best to get a train so nobody drink driving on way back.
Some still drove and hung around for a while to sober up, some stayed in our hotel some stayed elsewhere.
Job done and it was serious craic

rainbowtrout · 05-05-2018 10:12AM

beertons wrote: »

Lads just want a bit of sport and drink. The hen's I've heard of lately had cruises on the Shannon, pampering, and bubbly. Women probably get value for their money, but it seems like alot of effort to me.

Just from my own experience I know plenty of my friends would be more than happy to skip the organised activity aspect of the hen and just go for dinner and drinks, including myself.

Most of the hens I’ve been on in the last few years have booked packages through some of the companies that offer the service, so you are presented with a package and price from the bridesmaid and most people just go along with it, but anecdotally most women I’ve been on the hens with would just prefer to skip the activity and be able to turn up on their own terms.

I’m due to go on a hen in the summer. The package includes an activity, dinner, reserved area in a club, and accommodation. Standard enough fare. I live fairly close by so don’t need to stay over. Bridesmaid wasn’t happy when I told her I wouldn’t be staying in the hotel because she ‘didn’t know if the hen company would allow that’. Ridiculous stuff.

duffman13 · 05-05-2018 10:19AM

beertons wrote: »

Women probably get value for their money, but it seems like alot of effort to me.

I wouldn't agree with that, most of the hens my other half has been on has cost a fair whack more than the corresponding stags I've gone too. Hens are usually booked with everything organised and they tend to pay more than most lads groups do for accommodation. These companies that organise hens and stags are an absolute rip off in my opinion

beertons · 06-05-2018 01:24PM

We probably spend more though. All on drink. But reduce the total by a hundred or so when she asks!

splinter65 · 07-05-2018 12:03AM

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Just from my own experience I know plenty of my friends would be more than happy to skip the organised activity aspect of the hen and just go for dinner and drinks, including myself.

Most of the hens I’ve been on in the last few years have booked packages through some of the companies that offer the service, so you are presented with a package and price from the bridesmaid and most people just go along with it, but anecdotally most women I’ve been on the hens with would just prefer to skip the activity and be able to turn up on their own terms.

I’m due to go on a hen in the summer. The package includes an activity, dinner, reserved area in a club, and accommodation. Standard enough fare. I live fairly close by so don’t need to stay over. Bridesmaid wasn’t happy when I told her I wouldn’t be staying in the hotel because she ‘didn’t know if the hen company would allow that’. Ridiculous stuff.

You do realize you’re spoiling the whole weekend for everyone else by not staying in the hotel with them instead of in your own cosy free bed? Unforgivable!

Stag party

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