Stag party

Amprodude · 22-04-2018 11:55PM #1

Just wondering how may people should you bring on your Stag ideally? I do to want to bring every Tom Dick and Harry.

I was thinking about 12-15 people. Should best man pre book accommodation in advance for all people or what do people do?

Thanks.

rainbowtrout · 23-04-2018 12:08AM

Invite the people you want to be there, for some that's only 4 or 5, for others it's more than 20.

Don't go booking accommodation for people without discussing it with them. Assuming the best man is organising the stag, he can cost the night/weekend, provide an itinerary and costs and get people to pay him and he sorts out bookings, or let people make their own bookings. Depending on how far you go from home, you might find that some people can only make certain elements of the stag, or will go to a meal/activity but not stay over.

But no bookings without confirmation/deposit.

AnneFrank · 23-04-2018 12:12AM

My advice is don't go too far either or somewhere expensive, there's no need and it puts people under pressure

ec18 · 23-04-2018 07:57AM

Best thing to do is get the best man to pick an activity/location and then let everyone find their own accommodation makes everything simpler

SeaFields · 23-04-2018 08:06AM

Pick a venue and date. Set up a text group. Let people know where and when. Tell them book their own flights if going abroad - give the flight number, airline, time, etc. Free cancellation thingy on booking.com is handy for accommodation. Book how many beds you think you need and cancel once people confirm or otherwise that they're going.

In my experience, don't bother with activities. Most will be too hungover to be bothered going anywhere.

Don't stress over it anyway is the main thing - tell them where and when and if they can go, they'll go.

Fire1985 · 23-04-2018 08:22AM

Just pick a place , tell everyone what hotel to book and what dates .

Stay in Ireland so it gives people options to only go one night. Abroad is great craic but you tend to have the same craic even if it’s only in Galway or wherever. Plus abroad eliminates people who may not have as much money & that’s not nice.

Bring am many as you want but only people you’ll be inviting to the wedding then it won’t be every Tom , dick & Harry but only people you actually want there.

In my experience there’s usually a WhatsApp group set up with all people added to it and either groom or best man posts details.

Then all the filthy videos are posted :-)

23-04-2018 10:35AM

Accommodation is always booked by the best man in my experience otherwise people will drag their heels etc and people won't be able to get accom or end up all over the town. Most places have free cancellation so there is no risk to losing money.

Same for any activities etc, usually booked in advance by the best man and then this is added to the accommodation costs and sent around to the group who are invited and they can transfer the money. It's normal enough for the group to cover the grooms costs also.

Amprodude · 23-04-2018 05:31PM

Eduardo Easy Granola wrote: »

Accommodation is always booked by the best man in my experience otherwise people will drag their heels etc and people won't be able to get accom or end up all over the town. Most places have free cancellation so there is no risk to losing money.

Same for any activities etc, usually booked in advance by the best man and then this is added to the accommodation costs and sent around to the group who are invited and they can transfer the money. It's normal enough for the group to cover the grooms costs also.

What do you do with people that don't reply in the group?

Gorgeousgeorge · 23-04-2018 05:36PM

Try that stagit website. Handy in you pick the location date and activity and they do the rest

GingerLily · 23-04-2018 05:55PM

Amprodude wrote: »

Eduardo Easy Granola wrote: »

Accommodation is always booked by the best man in my experience otherwise people will drag their heels etc and people won't be able to get accom or end up all over the town. Most places have free cancellation so there is no risk to losing money.

Same for any activities etc, usually booked in advance by the best man and then this is added to the accommodation costs and sent around to the group who are invited and they can transfer the money. It's normal enough for the group to cover the grooms costs also.

What do you do with people that don't reply in the group?

Only book for people who have committed to going and get a deposit if you can.

23-04-2018 06:00PM

Gorgeousgeorge wrote: »

Try that stagit website. Handy in you pick the location date and activity and they do the rest

Don't do this. It is so much more expensive than doing it yourself and people get disgruntled when they realise that they have massively overpaid for a very poor service.

the_syco · 23-04-2018 06:13PM

downtheroad wrote: »

Don't do this. It is so much more expensive than doing it yourself and people get disgruntled when they realise that they have massively overpaid for a very poor service.

Have used stagit in the past myself. There's an option to "pay for groom", so a percentage is added to everyones bill, but overall I found the process good, as only there's a cut-off point that people must pay by, or they don't get to go. Have been to another stag, where the best-man had to continuously chase down the people, and ended up losing money as he had to pre-book the accommodation to get it cheaply, but the lads who said they'd come ended up cancelling a few weeks before the stag.

IMO, it comes down to the lads. If you can get a rough estimate, and they'll all pre-pay before a certain date, sure, do it yourself, but otherwise stagit.

23-04-2018 10:47PM

Stay well clear of stag websites they are more expansive and have heard more than one story of people's account being cleaned out after using their cards on the websites (including my own).

Amprodude wrote: »

What do you do with people that don't reply in the group?

If they haven't replied before the free cancellation date for rooms - send a final reminder the week before and if still no reply cancel the rooms for those who don't reply.

Amprodude · 24-04-2018 12:16AM

Eduardo Easy Granola wrote: »

Stay well clear of stag websites they are more expansive and have heard more than one story of people's account being cleaned out after using their cards on the websites (including my own).

If they haven't replied before the free cancellation date for rooms - send a final reminder the week before and if still no reply cancel the rooms for those who don't reply.

Is it bad form not asking people to wedding who arent bothered in going to stag?

the_syco · 24-04-2018 03:36AM

Amprodude wrote: »

Is it bad form not asking people to wedding who arent bothered in going to stag?

Depends. If they're reformed alcoholics, a stag would be a bad idea, as they'd be most likely constantly surrounded by alcohol.

Peregrinus · 24-04-2018 03:44AM

Amprodude wrote: »

Is it bad form not asking people to wedding who arent bothered in going to stag?

Yes, it's very bad form. In the first place, you'll be sending out the wedding invitations long before the stag details are nailed down, so to apply this rule you'd have to rescind invitations already extended and accepted. That's heavy. In the second place, there are lots of good reasons why somebody might be unable to participate in a stag. In the third place, the circle of people invited to the wedding is normally much, much larger than the circle invited to the stag. If "must agree to attend stag" isn't a condition applied to Great Aunty Bessie and her brood of socially maladjusted offspring, why is it a condition applied to somebody that you would actually like to have at your wedding?

Sebastian Dangerfield · 24-04-2018 04:37AM

Peregrinus wrote: »

Yes, it's very bad form. In the first place, you'll be sending out the wedding invitations long before the stag details are nailed down, so to apply this rule you'd have to rescind invitations already extended and accepted.

For every wedding / stag Ive been involved with, the stag has happened well in advance of invites being sent. Standard from my experience is stag 2-3 months out, with invites 4-6 weeks before the wedding

rainbowtrout · 24-04-2018 06:57AM

Amprodude wrote: »

Is it bad form not asking people to wedding who arent bothered in going to stag?

Yes. The world doesn’t revolve around you. People don’t attend stags for a whole variety of reasons. If a wedding invite is dependent on compulsory attendance at the stag, I’d have you on the groomzilla list and would probably avoid both.

Some people can’t afford to attend a stag and then the wedding, some may have other commitments that clash with the stag - another wedding to attend, hospital appointment, childcare, work, lack of holiday leave,

Heres Johnny · 24-04-2018 07:15AM

Send a text or a WhatsApp group with the name of the town you are going to and the dates.
Possibly include suggestions how to get there and suggested accommodation.

Men are simple creatures and will arrange things themselves based on what suits them to get there.

You don't need military planning or precision like I've seen with hen parties.

_Brian · 24-04-2018 07:22AM

When I did my brothers stag I arranged hotel accommodation and a bus to get there and back.

I had a bit of shooting arranged to pass a few hours and dinner booked in the hotel.

15 of us went, I knew everyone and paid the hotel deposit myself, and we paid the bus on the day. I only did this because I knew all the lads going and it worked perfectly.

The other thing men are famous for is putting stuff on the long finger and I’d guarantee the night before someone will contact you asking for ideas in accommodation for the stag.

24-04-2018 07:42AM

For the love of God don't bother with a foreign stag. When you are drinking as many as twenty pints, you could be in a cave for all it matters. Booking flights to Budapest is absolutely pointless. I simply refuse any foreign stags these days. Such an enormous waste of money.

Peregrinus · 24-04-2018 07:54AM

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

For every wedding / stag Ive been involved with, the stag has happened well in advance of invites being sent. Standard from my experience is stag 2-3 months out, with invites 4-6 weeks before the wedding

Perhaps so, but my main point stands. If you want someone at your wedding, invite him. If you don't want him, don't invite him. But on no account make his attendance at the wedding conditional on his participating in four-day piss-up in some continental city, particularly if you are not imposing that condition on all your wedding invitations. There are lots of good reasons why somebody might wish to decline an invitation to a four-day piss-up, starting with "I'm not really a four-day piss-up kind of guy".

_Brian · 24-04-2018 07:59AM

Peregrinus wrote: »

Perhaps so, but my main point stands. If you want someone at your wedding, invite him. If you don't want him, don't invite him. But on no account make his attendance at the wedding conditional on his participating in four-day piss-up in some continental city, particularly if you are not imposing that condition on all your wedding invitations. There are lots of good reasons why somebody might wish to decline an invitation to a four-day piss-up, starting with "I'm not really a four-day piss-up kind of guy".

I’ve not gone on “stag weekends” when invited.
An overnight is a maybe, but multiple nights definitely not, I have no interest and consider it a waste of hard earned money - yes I’m from Cavan

duffman13 · 24-04-2018 08:36AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

For the love of God don't bother with a foreign stag. When you are drinking as many as twenty pints, you could be in a cave for all it matters. Booking flights to Budapest is absolutely pointless. I simply refuse any foreign stags these days. Such an enormous waste of money.

Really I prefer a foreign stags, usually a similar price to a weekend in Galway etc but once your on the ground it's way cheaper abroad. Also having been on a stag in Kilkenny and Galway recently, pubs here hate stags bar a few places. I'd much rather go abroad but i find a lot depends on the organiser of the stag. A good organiser makes all the difference

woodchuck · 24-04-2018 09:33AM

Amprodude wrote: »

Is it bad form not asking people to wedding who arent bothered in going to stag?

Yes, that would be extremely bad form for reasons already stated. Surely it's more important that they come to the wedding instead of the stag anyway?!

Amprodude wrote: »

What do you do with people that don't reply in the group?

Personally I'd set a reasonable deadline for a response and make it clear that you're booking based on the number of respondents by that date. That way you can assume that any non-responders are out and tough luck if they start moaning about it after the deadline has passed (they can make their own arrangements if they decide they want to join in after the deadline). Maybe that sounds harsh, but personally I wouldn't be bothered chasing people - if they're interested they should be speaking up!

the_syco · 24-04-2018 04:10PM

_Brian wrote: »

The other thing men are famous for is putting stuff on the long finger and I’d guarantee the night before someone will contact you asking for ideas in accommodation for the stag.

HAHAHAHA. Yes. This.

Deleted User wrote: »

For the love of God don't bother with a foreign stag. When you are drinking as many as twenty pints, you could be in a cave for all it matters

If you can get cheap flights and cheap accommodation to somewhere like Prague where (I'm told) the drink is a lot cheaper, it can work out a hell of a lot cheaper, especially if the crew are alcoholics.

Also, some pubs in Ireland don't let stag parties in, if there's a large crowd.

24-04-2018 04:20PM

duffman13 wrote: »

Really I prefer a foreign stags, usually a similar price to a weekend in Galway etc but once your on the ground it's way cheaper abroad. Also having been on a stag in Kilkenny and Galway recently, pubs here hate stags bar a few places. I'd much rather go abroad but i find a lot depends on the organiser of the stag. A good organiser makes all the difference

I'm completely done with them at this stage. I've had so many stags over the past two years. I have next to no memory of Dusselldorf, Budapest or Lisbon. Don't really understand how it could be more expensive to go to Kilkenny or somewhere in Ireland. Budapest and Lisbon is dirt cheap when you get there. Still costed a small fortune. Two nights abroad and flights are at least 200 (conservatively, more like 300). Then there's usually an activity or a meal or a tour thrown in for a little more. It cost half that to go to Carlingford for a night. I was groomsman at a wedding recently and the groom was being a bit of control freak and suggested vegas for a weekend. Not a hope I was agreeing to that :P

duffman13 · 24-04-2018 05:10PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm completely done with them at this stage. I've had so many stags over the past two years. I have next to no memory of Dusselldorf, Budapest or Lisbon. Don't really understand how it could be more expensive to go to Kilkenny or somewhere in Ireland. Budapest and Lisbon is dirt cheap when you get there. Still costed a small fortune. Two nights abroad and flights are at least 200 (conservatively, more like 300). Then there's usually an activity or a meal or a tour thrown in for a little more. It cost half that to go to Carlingford for a night. I was groomsman at a wedding recently and the groom was being a bit of control freak and suggested vegas for a weekend. Not a hope I was agreeing to that :P

Nah **** Vegas out the window, I'd never do it in a million years, 2k minimum I'd say for that. Kilkenny for example cost 160 for 2 nights accommodation, no transport and no activities. Was in a stag in Budapest cost 130 for flights and 65 for accommodation and a beer bike thing.

I spent 350 on the weekend in Kilkenny and 200-250 in Budapest. I'd happily do somewhere abroad again but only cause I'm an early riser so Id walked a bit of the city both days while lads were sleeping off the hangover

rainbowtrout · 24-04-2018 08:09PM

duffman13 wrote: »

Nah **** Vegas out the window, I'd never do it in a million years, 2k minimum I'd say for that. Kilkenny for example cost 160 for 2 nights accommodation, no transport and no activities. Was in a stag in Budapest cost 130 for flights and 65 for accommodation and a beer bike thing.

I spent 350 on the weekend in Kilkenny and 200-250 in Budapest. I'd happily do somewhere abroad again but only cause I'm an early riser so Id walked a bit of the city both days while lads were sleeping off the hangover

Kilkenny and Galway aren't the only places in the country that people can go to for a stag (or Carrick on Shannon or Westport for that matter). Nothing stopping people going to a small town on the coast or wherever, that isn't overrun with stags and getting accommodation or renting a house/apartment for a weekend, if it's a weekend thing and finding a nice pub etc.

I live near Carrick on Shannon and there are places I now actively avoid as they are part of the hen/stag merry go round in Carrick at the weekend.

24-04-2018 08:47PM

Of couse you shouldn't uninvite people who don't go to the stag, not replying is bad form but people often turn down a stag invite especially if it's from a person who isn't a close friend.

Peregrinus wrote: »

Yes, it's very bad form. In the first place, you'll be sending out the wedding invitations long before the stag details are nailed down, so to apply this rule you'd have to rescind invitations already extended and accepted. That's heavy. In the second place, there are lots of good reasons why somebody might be unable to participate in a stag. In the third place, the circle of people invited to the wedding is normally much, much larger than the circle invited to the stag. If "must agree to attend stag" isn't a condition applied to Great Aunty Bessie and her brood of socially maladjusted offspring, why is it a condition applied to somebody that you would actually like to have at your wedding?

Any stag I've been involved in has been organised long before invitations, in fact most stags happened before the invitations went out even. Invitations only go out about a month before the wedding while a stag is usually more than a month before hand.

duffman13 wrote: »

I spent 350 on the weekend in Kilkenny and 200-250 in Budapest. I'd happily do somewhere abroad again but only cause I'm an early riser so Id walked a bit of the city both days while lads were sleeping off the hangover

Myself and a good few of the lads are earlier risers too, up early on the beer for the cure :pac:. Think we were in the first pub at 8:30am the second day of the last stag! Even the late risers were there for around 10:30 am!!

heretothere · 27-04-2018 09:58AM

When I organised my sisters Hen I sent individual texts. I booked the hotel, meal and activity, but I said that I needed full payment 1 month before to pay the hotel and that if I didn't have their payment I couldn't book them in (I worded it nicer than that!) I also said it was non refundable. To cover the brides cost after I got a fairly certain number I just divided her cost between us all. Those websites that organise it for you are a rip off and the hotels they use are often way out of town.
I went to a hen last year which to call it poorly organised would be giving it too much credit! She never took any payments before the hen. More than half the girls cancelled spent more than €600 for 2 nights in Cork before buying a drink!!

Stag party

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