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No one is coming to my wedding?

1235

Comments

  • #122
    lazygal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    We had 90, it was a great day.
    If I was being invited solely to make up the numbers because a couple wanted a big wedding I'd probably be declining the invite.


  • #123
    shortie_chik
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭shortie_chik


    Lau2976 wrote:
    Me and OH will be tying the knot this year. We’ll have about 35-40 there. We’ll say our vows, sign some papers and then eat good food and have a good time with those who are important to us. I’d much rather spend the budget on having a great time with those I care about then trying to make it stretch to a few hundred and having the usual copy paste wedding

    Off topic but Lau is marrying Cupcake Guy? :D:D:D


  • #124
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 23,403 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    jon1981 wrote: »
    Sorry OP but that drop off rate is huge. Seriously how well do you know these? Did you invite everyone and anyone just to make up numbers?!

    Separate question, Why have a big wedding surrounded by people you barely know? Perhaps these people also found it odd that you would invite them.

    Despite the location, a wedding is an expensive day out for people. You have to see it from their perspective, why would they choose that expense if they are merely acquaintances?

    For prezzies?


  • #125
    Lau2976
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    shortie_chik wrote: »
    Off topic but Lau is marrying Cupcake Guy? :D:D:D

    I am indeed :o Although I swore it wouldn't happen!

    Sorry for the OT!


  • #126
    XxMCRxBabyxX
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 7,442 Mod ✭✭✭✭XxMCRxBabyxX


    Lau2976 wrote: »
    I am indeed :o Although I swore it wouldn't happen!

    Sorry for the OT!

    I hope your present list is ready!


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  • #127
    Lau2976
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »
    I hope your present list is ready!

    Sure we have all the stand mixers and kids bikes we need around here. Nothing else to ask for really :pac:


  • #128
    mcgiggles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭mcgiggles


    shortie_chik wrote:
    Off topic but Lau is marrying Cupcake Guy?

    Lau2976 wrote:
    Sure we have all the stand mixers and kids bikes we need around here. Nothing else to ask for really

    Yyaaaaaasssss!!!! Hahaha love it! Congrats Lau & Cupcake guy


  • #129
    Thud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,771 ✭✭✭Thud


    touts wrote: »
    This is what Facebook, Snapchat and the likes have reduced humanity to. In the past if you had a circle of 10 friends that was probably fairly average. Now we have the snowflake generation who all have thousands of "friends" and look up to "influencers" who have millions of "friends". So now if you have less than 1000 "friends" you're some sort of weird loner or worse still old.

    I suppose it's hardly surprising that as that generation makes the transition into the real world they think less than 200 "friends" at a wedding is embarrassingly small.

    This thread reminds me of the Black mirror Nosedive episode (well worth a watch)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soUHXEV_XvE


  • #130
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,236 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    I feel like a wedding with 86 people will be an embarrassment and people will say "they haven't got many friends".

    OP sorry but you really need to stop double thinking other people. If I attended a wedding like this I would not judge the couple getting married as having no friends.

    If I was you I would accept the situation and enjoy it.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #131
    K_P
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 577 ✭✭✭K_P


    Lau2976 wrote: »
    shortie_chik wrote: »
    Off topic but Lau is marrying Cupcake Guy? :D:D:D

    I am indeed :o Although I swore it wouldn't happen!

    Sorry for the OT!
    The stars of my favourite boards thread ever!


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  • #132
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 33,654 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    Lau2976 wrote: »
    Agree with the other posters above OP why your getting married matters much more then how. Your committing your whole like to someone you love. That’s what matters.

    Me and OH will be tying the knot this year. We’ll have about 35-40 there. We’ll say our vows, sign some papers and then eat good food and have a good time with those who are important to us. I’d much rather spend the budget on having a great time with those I care about then trying to make it stretch to a few hundred and having the usual copy paste wedding
    shortie_chik wrote: »
    Off topic but Lau is marrying Cupcake Guy? :D:D:D
    Lau2976 wrote: »
    I am indeed :o Although I swore it wouldn't happen!

    Sorry for the OT!

    (apologies in advance for the thread derail)

    Oh wow Oh wow Oh wow!!!!!!!

    I couldn't believe when I came across the first post, and a faint bell in the back of my mind tinkled......

    I was absolutely GLUED to that thread at the time!

    Can't believe you guys got together, stayed together, and despite recent events (which i stumbled across trying to find out was it really you and Cake Guy), you're getting hitched! Congrats!!!

    (/thread derail)

    To the OP - as you get older you'll realise that what other people think (or "like") really, really doesn't matter. You're young (and now I sound like yer Granny), and this is a big deal to you now. But it's really, really not.

    I hope you can persuade yourself to take all the advice given here, scale back the function room, decorate the bit of the church that will hold everyone and just ignore the rest, and have a wonderful day.


  • #133
    Lau2976
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    K_P wrote: »
    The stars of my favourite boards thread ever!

    He's said he wants to mention the "internet weirdo's" who got us together in his vows :pac: so ya'll might be getting an honourable mention

    Again, sorry for the OT OP


  • #134
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,310 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    I knew the 260 people were not great friends of ours but we invited them because we wanted a big wedding like everyone else, like our siblings and our friends.
    Instead of a big venue with a small number, have a small venue with the people.

    You make it sound like your dreams are being dashed because there's not a big crowd; imagine if all the 250 had come; you'd have to talk to all of them!


  • #135
    messrs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    Lau2976 wrote: »
    I am indeed :o Although I swore it wouldn't happen!

    Sorry for the OT!

    OMG!! Congrats you guys!! like many others i was glued to that thread at the time!! I think we now need a separate thread just to celebrate Lau & cupcake guy :D:D


  • #136
    iPhone.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,104 ✭✭✭iPhone.


    Just throwing something in that might make you smile and forget stressing for a minute about things that will seem extremely unimportant in a few years time when you look, back, I promise! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    It's just a bit of advice for your hubbie to be.........

    When the bride walks into the church, the first thing she will see is the 'aisle'.

    The second thing she will see is the 'altar'.

    The third thing she will see is 'you'.

    And from that point onwards, she will always have those three words in her mind, Aisle, Altar, You :D

    Just enjoy the Biggest day of your lives, and best of luck to you both, you have each other, think how lucky you both are just having that much!


  • #137
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Might be time for you to learn how to be at ease with who /what you and your OH are. Not everyone can and will have a wide circle of friends. Social media has a lot to answer for when it comes to unrealistic expectations. And for screwing with people's perceptions of what real friendships are.

    Nobody at the wedding is going to care about the size of the guests. If the guests know you and your fiancé at all, they'll know you're quiet and not the sort who'll know half the town. It's like you're trying to be something you aren't. I've been at smaller weddings and found them nicer to attend. More intimate and peopled with folk who actually cared about the couple getting married.

    Can the hotel switch to a smaller room? That'd be something that could take the bad look off things. If optics are your thing.


  • #138
    shortie_chik
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭shortie_chik


    Lau2976 wrote:
    He's said he wants to mention the "internet weirdo's" who got us together in his vows so ya'll might be getting an honourable mention


    Which internet weirdos are these now? :D

    I'm sure I speak for all the internet weirdos when I say congrats! So delighted two people we don't know are getting married!


  • #139
    Ginger83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭Ginger83


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    I am getting married in April and myself and my fiancee invited 260 people.
    86 are coming. I feel devastated and so let down. I knew the 260 people were not great friends of ours but we invited them because we wanted a big wedding like everyone else, like our siblings and our friends. We have not got many friends and we are both quiet people but that should not be an issue. I feel like a wedding with 86 people will be an embarrassment and people will say "they haven't got many friends". I really do not know what to do! I feel so upset and let down, as does my fiancee.
    We are getting married in a local church and our reception is in a local hotel. The most a person will have to travel is 15 minutes! We made it this way so people would have no excuse to come. We are getting married on a Saturday so people are more likely to be off.
    What is going on? Are we not liked by many people? I know at least 150 people don't have plans for that day but still won't come

    We had 10 at our wedding and that included us and our 2 kids. Didn't even have the MIL or FIL at it.....GREAT DAY it was.


  • #140
    fergus1001
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭fergus1001


    Please link to this cupcake guy thread I want to get back round on this !


  • #141
    beefburrito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 695 ✭✭✭beefburrito


    Are you sure you want to get married Op ? now's your chance to pull out.....


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  • #142
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    I am getting married in April and myself and my fiancee invited 260 people.
    86 are coming. I feel devastated and so let down. I knew the 260 people were not great friends of ours but we invited them because we wanted a big wedding like everyone else, like our siblings and our friends. We have not got many friends and we are both quiet people but that should not be an issue. I feel like a wedding with 86 people will be an embarrassment and people will say "they haven't got many friends". I really do not know what to do! I feel so upset and let down, as does my fiancee.
    We are getting married in a local church and our reception is in a local hotel. The most a person will have to travel is 15 minutes! We made it this way so people would have no excuse to come. We are getting married on a Saturday so people are more likely to be off.
    What is going on? Are we not liked by many people? I know at least 150 people don't have plans for that day but still won't come

    86 people invited it not a small wedding and hardly an embarrassment, I think you need to relax a bit. Save yourself and future husband money just inviting strangers.


  • #143
    joey1111
    Closed Accounts Posts: 112 ✭✭joey1111


    beefburrito wrote: »
    Are you sure you want to get married Op ? now's your chance to pull out.....

    It all sounds really stressful to me, i would rather a registry jobby and spend the money on a nice exotic holiday with all the trimmings. No pressure, no stress, no having to deal with what people like and dont like.


  • #144
    Wexfordboy89
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 957 ✭✭✭Wexfordboy89


    When it comes down to it most people really only have about 5 r 6 friends or so the saying goes afaik.i have no friends so who am i too say :(


  • #145
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    If I'm being honest, she doesn't have low self esteem. Rather high self esteem but she said it coz it was how it looked to her and others

    She is an idiot. How many of those people who you invited do you regularly talk to and speak with and spend time with? I don't get people who friend people they barely know on Facebook. It's says something about the person they need to have a long list of friends on there to show off. All the matters are your closest friends and acquaintances show up and family.


  • #146
    august12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭august12


    SazSarsh wrote:
    I just want to thank everybody for their honest and genuine replies whether I liked to hear the truth or not. As one user said social media is a problem today and it really is. Unfortunately social media has gobbled me up and although I am in my mid twenties, I still care about Facebook and Instagram likes. It's terrible but society has done this to me. I once heard my mother in law to be saying "that was a very small and quiet wedding and not many young people at it, they must not have many friends". I suppose I just don't want people saying this about me and my fiancée. Why should I care, I know, but I do, and somehow I can't seem to shake it off that I do care about what others think. I'm incredibly nervous about our big day. I will walk into the church and see it 1/4 full and feel so gutted but I will have to put on a brave face even though it will hurt me. And I can't help it that it will hurt me.

    This is a very honest and open statement by you and I do understand how you feel a big wedding will prove to the outside world how popular you are, I had 24 at my wedding, just family and neither of us regret it, would do the same again, and I do believe weddings should be family and good friends, not people literally picked up from the street, try to forget what other people think or what you think they think, as you get older and wiser, this will matter less and less to you, I am not a Facebook or Instagram fan, and to be honest, I think it is so false and childish, every aspect of people's lives put onsite for other people's immature comments or likes or dislikes, it is so childish, especially people who display publicly how many so called friends they have, I just don't get it, if 80 plus people come to your wedding, contact hotel to get a more intimate setting if possible, you will have a wonderful day day if you allow yourself to have one and don't go running to Facebook and Instagram to upload your wedding photos, you will be glad you didn't, I remember attending a wedding where as we entered the church, a notice from the bride and groom pinned to door requesting no photos to be uploaded to social media, I really admired them for this.


  • #147
    ignorance is strength
    Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭ignorance is strength


    Very popular friend of mine is getting married this summer. He's expecting only half of those invited to turn up.

    As others have said, attending a wedding is super costly: E100/150 gift per person, plus outfit and other expenses. And then the fact that one can feel like an impostor if they aren't particularly close with the bride and groom; nothing to do with likability, just familiarity.

    I'm very sorry you're so upset, though. Ignore the insensitive posts from After Hours migrants. As hard as it might be, try to focus on your own wonderful landmark and the 86 who want to celebrate it with you, and ignore the others who would only have been filler.


  • #148
    zetalambda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 822 ✭✭✭zetalambda


    Squatter wrote: »
    The OP is studying for his/her Leaving Cert according to this post: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106166856

    I really hope that her wedding won't interfere with her studies too much!

    We'll call it a premonition. ;)


  • #149
    Cash_Q
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭Cash_Q


    SazSarsh wrote:
    To be honest the others we don't just briefly know, they are people I called very good friends as a teenager but lost contact with them and haven't spoken to some of them in 5 years in person but we would talk on social media. We are lucky there is 86 because we both have a lot of aunts and uncles


    Have you got actual RSVP declines off all these people? Even if you set a date to respond by, some people just don't RSVP and you have to chase them up. Maybe there are people who intend to come but haven't actually replied yet?

    Either way, weddings are expensive. Gift costs a couple of hundred, potentially need new outfits, drinking money for the day and night, transport (even if local, taxis home needed) , babysitters...if the guests have other weddings coming up for people they're closer to, maybe they've had to choose.

    Having gotten married myself last year, I would advise you to focus on the people that ARE coming and forget about those who can't. You will wake up smiling and you won't stop smiling all day! Don't worry about what other people have done or what their weddings were like, your day will be amazing!


  • #150
    fergus1001
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭fergus1001


    fergus1001 wrote:
    Please link to this cupcake guy thread I want to get back round on this !

    Ah lads ! Please link


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  • #151
    Digital_Guy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 241 ✭✭Digital_Guy


    SazSarsh wrote: »
    I know them well but haven't spoken to some of them face to face in about 5 years but have spoken to them on social media

    This means that if social media didn't exist, you'd be inviting people you hadn't spoken to in 5 years! Think of it that way...


This discussion has been closed.
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