Wedding gift?

Give what you can afford, but most couples give 150e - 200e (the latter is the most common).

masterboy123 wrote: »

And do we pay our overnight stay charge on top of 200e? Is it usual that wedding couples pay for the room??

Yes. Accommodation and gift are usually separate

Talk to the couple about the accommodation, you'd need to pay for that and it wouldnt be included as your wedding gift.
Unless your in the bridal party or a parent of the bride and groom, I would assume you'd have to pay for accommodation. You may get lucky and they're covering it, in which case you could be more generous if you wanted with the gift.

Talk to the Bride and Groom about accommodation ASAP, before it books out.

masterboy123 wrote: »

The thing is I can't book the accomodation myself. The website says they don't accept individual bookings. And the wedding couple get the whole hotel / house. And unoccupied rooms are not given out to 3rd parties.
The couple knows that i need the room.

Just ask them the cost for the room so at least you know where you stand.

First of all I'd just ring the hotel to find out what the story is. If you say you're attending the wedding being held that night, they might reserve a room for you over the phone. If not, they should at least be able to tell you what price to expect and then when you rsvp for the wedding, tell the couple that you require a room at the venue.

The couple really should have been more clear if you need to request a room from them. I've been to a wedding before where we had to request a room when we RSVPed. They had a number of rooms booked, so they needed to be assigned. They contacted us closer to the date to let us know that we had a room and how much it would cost. We paid the hotel directly when checking out.

Regardless of how you book the room though, you will be expected to pay for yourself. And then the gift is additional to that. As others have said 150-200euro is the normal for couples. However you should only give what you can afford! Expensive things to attend...

Just a thought, but is there anywhere cheaper to stay near the venue? Often you can get a good deal on a local BnB or air BnB. Even including a short taxi ride it can still work out cheaper than wedding venues.

kg703 wrote: »

100 euro is perfectly acceptable as a wedding gift. I got married last year and bar very close family it was mostly 100 or a gift.

Per person or per couple?

SarahS2013 wrote: »

There's no way I'd only give €100 as part of a couple. Maybe if you were attending on your own perhaps.

Or if it's all you can afford...

masterboy123 wrote:

The thing is I can't book the accomodation myself. The website says they don't accept individual bookings. And the wedding couple get the whole hotel / house. And unoccupied rooms are not given out to 3rd parties. The couple knows that i need the room.

You can't book the accommodation *online* yourself.. This is usually the way with weddings that have limited rooms. The bride and groom don't want just anyone being able to book rooms if there are a limited number available. Family and friends usually have first preference. Rooms generally aren't covered by the bride and groom unless you are their parents or bridal party (even then more couples are opting not to cover bridal party) so don't assume anything. Ring the hotel and ask can you book rooms under the wedding name or do you have to talk to the couple themselves to sort..

Hi OP, attended a wedding like this before - same idea you had to tell the bride and groom if you were doing an overnight. It was purely so they could put your name down for a room and then when I was checking out I paid. As you said they get the whole house so they are just trying to arrange the room.

€150 for a couple is the standard. If it was a really close friend or something I might up it to €200 but usually not. I wouldn’t be bothering buying a gift, don’t think it’s wanted by most really. Money is just easier.

I'd be checking on the room cost, especially after one of the threads here last year where the guest assumed accommodation (in a country house they had booked out) was being paid for by the bride and groom, so the guest gave a larger cash gift. Then the following morning they were presented with a large accommodation bill for their room, where the b+g were effectively getting a large chunk of their bill and passing it onto their guests.

masterboy123 wrote: »

I checked the hotel site again and it says usual overnight stay rates are from €99 per person. That means for a couple it will be €200 per night.
Plus 200e as wedding gift. Going out of our budget And i checked the possibility of nearby 3 star hotel. But then thinking the couple would feel we are cheapo as we have already told them that we will be staying at the hotel and they may have notified the hotel by now.
Stuck now!

They may have gotten better rates as they booked the hotel out, just ask, if it is €200 a night just say 'it's a bit out of your budget and you'll book somewhere cheaper down the road', there is nothing they can say to that as long as you are not doing it at very short notice.

I worked at a wedding venue, it didn't have a huge amount of rooms so accommodation was booked through the bride and groom but paid at checkout by the guests. The bride and groom would fill out a table with the name of each guest and the room allocated, it was an old building with varying different standards. The bride and groom know the needs of the guests. We also had many guests stay in local B&Bs and a hotel in the next town. We would have a taxi driver booked for the evening to do all the ferrying.
However, look up local places to stay and book what you are comfortable with. If it doesn't have many rooms the bride and groom might be happy anyway. Just tell them you found somewhere you would prefer to stay, but do it soon.

I have always gifted cash sums of upwards of 150 (as a couple) but even as I did it I thought it was bonkers money. Now that I'm planning a wedding and can see just how much care and time and mostly - money - goes into it, I will be more generous in future. I know that couples choose to have weddings, choose venues and menus and choose to invite people to celebrate with them, and that there should be no implied fee with that, but consider that at a wedding you consume a three/four/five course meal, wine, champagne, canapes, cake etc etc, you then most likely enjoy live music, maybe a dj, personalised favours and touches.

If you went to any restaurant, even a substandard restaurant, you'd pay big money for all of that food and drink. I used to think of a cash gift as a nice gesture towards the bride and grooms life together, now I can see that it often doesn't even come close to paying for me being there for the day, never mind all the money and planning they put in to all the different aspects of their wedding.

Weddings do cost crazy money now more than ever, and the expectation to provide hundreds of euro per wedding is a bit insane, but remember that an invite is just that, and can be graciously declined.

Please don't go giving people toasters and candlesticks though.

lazygal wrote: »

I've never been to a wedding in a venue I'd choose to go to. We usually give cash but when we got married it was our choice to have the big day. It costs €200 to get married. Anything outside that is a choice that no one else but the couple should feel obliged to pay for.

It's €200 just to get the licence alone!