Have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience? Mod warning in op - updated 6/3/18

wakka12 · 19-02-2018 12:07AM

Koala Sunshine wrote: »

Is it illegal for an adult to ask a 17 year old to have sex given 17 is the age of consent?

No its not illegal

HalloweenJack · 19-02-2018 12:08AM

When I was a kid, we stayed with a family friend who was eccentric in many ways and I ended up sleeping on the couch in the same room as our host, who was a man in his forties. He was sleeping in a bed.

I woke up the next morning lying beside him in the bed and with no idea of what had happend, just a very uneasy feeling, like that I knew something wasn't right. This was a long time before I understood how sex works so I wouldn't have known what was going on if something like that had happened. I genuinely have no memory of that night, I imagine I've repressed it or, as someone suggested, he drugged me. I remember when I woke up, I was uncomfortable and immediately got out of the bed. The man said to me, in a guilty voice: "You wanted to get in to bed with me."

At the time, it made no sense whatsoever but over the years, it's led me to believe that something happened.

I've had girls feel me up on nights out and that's been shocking but I've forgotten about it. There was also a time when some randomer told me he wanted to rape me, that was bizarre.

Another disturbing thing I remember was having an operation when I was about four or five and remember the surgeon looking under my gown and saying my underpants were "cool" or something like that. The operation was related to my head and there were more people in the room so I don't understand that one at all.

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 12:12AM

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

There is generally no expectation of privacy in a public place, though there are exceptions to this.

True AJ, however concentrating on someone's body parts to get a private "thrill" is well out of bloody order. Calling it "sexual assault" is an upgrade to exaggeration in this poster's opinion(though par for the times), but it is most certainly unwanted sexual attention and a major WTF and should be pointed out and dealt with accordingly. Which Whoops did by reporting it at the time. And the bouncers felt it was warranted enough to throw the sad bastard out.

That it seems this didn't get through to the Boards hierarchy is a concern. Now, I nor we don't have the full story of course, but personally knowing Whoops to enough of a degree to know she's not the over reactionary kind in social situations(not by a long shot)... yeah. I dunno...

Bredabe · 19-02-2018 12:16AM

I was born before the age of consent, so it was ok/I was whinging if I complained that so and so put his arm around me or tried to grab a boob. Women learned to move fast away from wandering hands or men trying to coerce them into something the woman would end up getting blamed for.

The weird advantage of that is...I can still say a solid, take me seriously NO, I know where to injure a man to change his focus and drive very fast in a straight line.

If only I had eyes in the back of my head and could see the types who seem to find my bum irresistibly pinchable.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater · 19-02-2018 12:18AM

What I have taken from this thread is that Galway is full of perverts.

Hammer89 · 19-02-2018 12:20AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe in some private forums? But generally it seems the Boards Beers are sadly a thing of the past H. Which is a real pity as they were great nights when they were on the go. The BGRH forum beers in particular. Not just them either. Ah well...

Slide into my DMs when they're a thing again.

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 12:20AM

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote: »

What I have taken from this thread is that Galway is full of perverts.

T'was always thus and more power to Galwegians.

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 12:24AM

Hammer89 wrote: »

Slide into my DMs when they're a thing again.

I wish H. Maybe they could be revived? The "office" might not be too comfortable, but sod that I say. They were good craic and were human, with people behind the usernames. That may be me bing wistful and all that, but I don't think so. I can think of a few great friendships and relationships and marriages :eek::D that came from them.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 19-02-2018 12:31AM

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Very tempted, yes.

However I decided it against it because it had been a beers that boards.ie had invited mods to, the company ran it themselves rather than your regular public meetup. I informed boards HO of the incident (there were witnesses remember) and a few weeks later he was promoted to Cmod, so I figured it was more likely that I'd get banned if I named him and someone that pathetic isn't worth getting banned for

That's disgusting, and disturbing that boards.ie have put you into this situation.

Usually I go by 'believe half what you see, and none of what you hear' but knowing how honestly you've posted here on various topics (and some very personal) over the years I've no doubt you're telling the truth here.

I wouldn't be leaving this go on an AH thread tbh, and I wouldn't be bullied into silence either.

I hope you're ok, seriously I hope you're ok.

Edgarfrndly · 19-02-2018 12:32AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe in some private forums? But generally it seems the Boards Beers are sadly a thing of the past H. Which is a real pity as they were great nights when they were on the go. The BGRH forum beers in particular. Not just them either. Ah well...

I went to a boards beers in like 2004/05 ish. Only one I've been to. Got polluted. Put a few faces to some names. Good night. Forgot they were even a thing until I saw this thread.

Purple Mountain · 19-02-2018 12:35AM

I was 19 and went back to the house of my friends older brothers friend.
He was in his mid 20s.
I had never met the guy before and my friends older brother was in the house too.
It wasn't even a house party. More like somewhere to drag out a night after a night club.
I went to find the bathroom at one point. It wasn't even upstairs.
As I was walking down the hallway the guy (friend of my friends older brother) appeared and pinned me up against the wall and proceeded to put his hand up my floor length dress (there was possibly a split up the side).
I had to squirm away from him.
I felt utterly disgusted and dirty especially knowing he had a girlfriend who he's now married to.
I told my friend after and she told her brother and he was very annoyed over it.

scudzilla · 19-02-2018 12:37AM

leggo wrote: »

They're in a rock and a hard place now. This is the kind of thing the media start to poke their noses into. Do they ignore it and damn themselves with silence? Do they lock the thread on trumped up charges and hope it goes away? (Therefore looking ridiculously guilty) Do other mods start kicking up and walking out now this is public or do they act as a wall for boards and risk individually disgracing themselves by standing by one of their own?

F

This, expect this thread to miraculously disappear over the next 12hrs

Snowseer · 19-02-2018 12:38AM

Alexis Ambitious Wax wrote: »

That's disgusting, and disturbing that boards.ie have put you into this situation.

Usually I go by 'believe half what you see, and none of what you hear' but knowing how honestly you've posted here on various topics (and some very personal) over the years I've no doubt you're telling the truth here.

I wouldn't be leaving this go on an AH thread tbh, and I wouldn't be bullied into silence either.

I hope you're ok, seriously I hope you're ok.

Somebody took a video of somebody else’s legs. Drama ensues when somebody posts it in an unwanted sexual attention thread. Honestly - are we all so precious these days?!

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 12:40AM

scudzilla wrote: »

This, expect this thread to miraculously disappear over the next 12hrs

I’d say they are discussing it in a private forum somewhere.

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 12:44AM

Snowseer wrote: »

Somebody took a video of somebody else’s legs. Drama ensues when somebody posts it in an unwanted sexual attention thread. Honestly - are we all so precious these days?!

Oh sure SS. Like I said calling it "sexual assault" is heading towards the hysterical and no mistake, though Whoops didn't do that. However it is unwanted attention of a sexual nature. Taking pics/flics of someone's body bits for "private consumption? GTFO. Not a hanging offence, but defo a WTF you sad bastard offence.

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 12:47AM

Snowseer wrote: »

Somebody took a video of somebody else’s legs. Drama ensues when somebody posts it in an unwanted sexual attention thread. Honestly - are we all so precious these days?!

Well I think it’s important to establish whether it was drunken hijinks that went to far or weird sick ****.
Either way we are being run by an idiot or a pervert.
It could have happened 10 years ago the idiot grew up and became a c mod or it happened yesterday he got promoted because he had great videos to show the other mods.

Without all the facts we won’t really know.

Snowseer · 19-02-2018 12:51AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh sure SS. Like I said calling it "sexual assault" is heading towards the hysterical and no mistake, though Whoops didn't do that. However it is unwanted attention of a sexual nature. Taking pics/flics of someone's body bits for "private consumption? GTFO. Not a hanging offence, but defo a WTF you sad bastard offence.

Too much drama. “Private consumption”? Or was that just drunk talk, from a drunk person, taking a drunk video. Not cool, but not scandal-worthy.

scudzilla · 19-02-2018 12:53AM

Ajsoprano wrote: »

Well I think it’s important to establish whether it was drunken hijinks that went to far or weird sick ****.
Either way we are being run by an idiot or a pervert.
It could have happened 10 years ago the idiot grew up and became a c mod or it happened yesterday he got promoted because he had great videos to show the other mods.

Without all the facts we won’t really know.

Lol, that would be too funny

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 12:55AM

Snowseer wrote: »

Too much drama. “Private consumption”? Or was that just drunk talk, from a drunk person, taking a drunk video. Not cool, but not scandal-worthy.

Oh no, no need for pitchforks and blazing torches, but as you say, not cool. The need for a quiet word including the words WTF? "Scandal" and such comes from ignoring that kind of thing and explaining it away as nothing to see here. Personally someone above voting age who doesn't understand that that kinda thing is creepy as fook needs an injection of cop the hell on.

Canis Lupus · 19-02-2018 01:06AM

Have to say I'm slightly taken aback to hear Whoops' story regarding a cmod. Always thought, especially with the likes of Dav that such a thing would have been dealt with quickly. I've been a user for quite some time and this is the first time that Boards as a forum and as a brand has really diminished itself in my eyes. Poor form Boards.

LadyMacBeth_ · 19-02-2018 01:07AM

Yeah I've been groped, had my boobs and my arse grabbed and had a boy put his hand down my pants and fingers in me before I had a chance to push him away. I suppose the one that stays with me was when I was dragged into a bush by a boy and he managed to open my jeans and get inside my underwear and he had his jeans and boxers down and he was close to getting it in when I managed to get away. I don't think I even realised it was an attempted rape at the time or for years afterwards. My teenage years were turbulent and I was taken advantage of quite a lot and didn't realise it for a long time afterwards.

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 01:09AM

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Yeah I've been groped, had my boobs and my arse grabbed and had a boy put his hand down my pants and fingers in me before I had a chance to push him away. I suppose the one that stays with me was when I was dragged into a bush by a boy and he managed to open my jeans and get inside my underwear and he had his jeans and boxers down and he was close to getting it in when I managed to get away. I don't think I even realised it was an attempted rape at the time or for years afterwards. My teenage years were turbulent and I was taken advantage of quite a lot and didn't realise it for a long time afterwards.

Yeah but what about the time you talked your husband into killing the king.

DBB · 19-02-2018 01:12AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh sure SS. Like I said calling it "sexual assault" is heading towards the hysterical and no mistake, though Whoops didn't do that. However it is unwanted attention of a sexual nature. Taking pics/flics of someone's body bits for "private consumption? GTFO. Not a hanging offence, but defo a WTF you sad bastard offence.

I'll come clean here

, when I first posted I had conflated Whoops' two stories, thinking the CMod had grabbed her inappropriately. But that's not the case.
Of course taking unwanted photos of her in that context, as the CMod is said to have done, is not sexual assault,
It is a pretty feckin creepy thing to do though.
It's the response to Whoops' complaint that has me concerned from the point of view that... well.. all too often the high moral ground is (often correctly) taken by those in control of this site when it comes to questionable stuff... It worries me that a complaint of this nature doesn't appear to have flexed the same muscle as other contentious stuff has done.
It'd be good to get their side of this story.

job seeker · 19-02-2018 01:19AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh no, no need for pitchforks and blazing torches, but as you say, not cool. The need for a quiet word including the words WTF? "Scandal" and such comes from ignoring that kind of thing and explaining it away as nothing to see here. Personally someone above voting age who doesn't understand that that kinda thing is creepy as fook needs an injection of cop the hell on.

I agree with you to a certain extent Wibbs. But personally, If I was in woopsies position. I'd make such an individual known. What is it solving by not giving away his username?

job seeker · 19-02-2018 01:28AM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Have to say I'm slightly taken aback to hear Whoops' story regarding a cmod. Always thought, especially with the likes of Dav that such a thing would have been dealt with quickly. I've been a user for quite some time and this is the first time that Boards as a forum and as a brand has really diminished itself in my eyes. Poor form Boards.

Exactly. But let me point out, (just as an example) that if a member posts porn on the site, they will be banned so fast that their head will spin. Hmm, it says it all really..

JupiterKid · 19-02-2018 01:39AM

I was given a little "something" in a drink in a gay sauna in London when I was in the city for work in 2000 and within an hour was passed out. I don't recall what happened but I'm pretty sure something did. I woke up in a cubicle the following morning with a splitting headache and feeling woozy.

Went to a sexual health clinic for a check up but as this was before the time of rapid HIV testing, I had a very nervous 3 month wait. Thankfully I was in the all clear for HIV and other STDs.

Women aren't the only victims of sexual assault or rape, but most people are now aware of that.

Wibbs · 19-02-2018 01:52AM

job seeker wrote: »

I agree with you to a certain extent Wibbs. But personally, If I was in woopsies position. I'd make such an individual known. What is it solving by not giving away his username?

Maybe working on the principle that an accusation doesn't and shouldn't automatically equal a conviction? Crazy though that may sound to some. Not to dismiss an accusation, but to go to guilty as charged as a given is mob rule. Sod that and about the biggest issue I have with this recent bandwagoning #metoo stuff(never mind putting everything into the sexual assault box). That's not how civilised societies should act and it's an extremely dangerous road to go down.

khaldrogo · 19-02-2018 01:59AM

Sexual assault is a bit much......he filmed her legs. He didn't grab her arse

DBB wrote:

It's a bit difficult to take as genuine any measures Boards HQ initiate to deal with sexism (to either or any sex), bullying etc, when you realise that they allowed the "promotion" of someone they know to have committed a sexual assault. They should be fcukin ashamed of themselves. The CMod who committed a sexual assault against you should hang his head in shame. I hope at the very least that he is remorseful enough to never have committed such an act again. He's lucky you didn't bring it further by reporting him. What a lowlife dreg he is.

job seeker · 19-02-2018 02:13AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe working on the principle that an accusation doesn't and shouldn't automatically equal a conviction? Crazy though that may sound to some. Not to dismiss an accusation, but to go to guilty as charged as a given is mob rule. Sod that and about the biggest issue I have with this recent bandwagoning #metoo stuff(never mind putting everything into the sexual assault box). That's not how civilised societies should act and it's an extremely dangerous road to go down.

I think though that if there were witnesses. It's fair to assume that the 'individual' is guilty of this act? To be honest, I think that if someone, done such. They only deserve to be hung out to dry imo. Regardless of how dangerous it may be.

Canis Lupus · 19-02-2018 02:14AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe working on the principle that an accusation doesn't and shouldn't automatically equal a conviction? Crazy though that may sound to some. Not to dismiss an accusation, but to go to guilty as charged as a given is mob rule. Sod that and about the biggest issue I have with this recent bandwagoning #metoo stuff(never mind putting everything into the sexual assault box). That's not how civilised societies should act and it's an extremely dangerous road to go down.

I guess my thoughts here are that Whoops wouldn't lie. I don't interact with her much but I think we all 'know' her. I wouldn't suspect her of making something like that up.

Regardless you are right however did Boards investigate? Would be interested to know.

Have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience? Mod warning in op - updated 6/3/18

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