Hotel have advertised a wedding open day on the day of our wedding

mrs.doubt.fire · 14-12-2017 10:01AM

paddyirish23 wrote: »

The hotel isn't the biggest and ........

We will be the only wedding as they can only cater for one at a time. I feel they should've at least given us a heads up and not found out from other people.

That's a part quote from your #3 post, reading back over it again you have said it's not the biggest of hotels and they can only cater for 1 wedding at a time. In this case, NO they should not be holding a wedding fair on the same day, they simply dont have the space for it.

When I got married almost 30 years ago, my wedding was a double wedding (my sister got married same day too), the hotel we had at the time could hold 2 separate weddings on the same day as they had the time and space for it (2 separate large dining rooms) but because it was a double wedding, they said they would not take another wedding as the chef and kitchen staff had more than enough to do on our day.

Something else you need to be aware of, regardless of how many guests you have at your wedding and the numbers you give them, Hotels will set an extra 10 to 20 extra places regardless, so if all your guests turn up, be careful ..some of the extra place settings could be used by people attending the wedding fair and not guests belong to your wedding. If those extra places are used, yes YOU will be charged for it !!

Sunny Dayz · 14-12-2017 11:09AM

paddyirish23 wrote: »

... and found out on Facebook that the hotel have advertised a wedding open day. I'm fairly pissed off that they didn't even have the decency to ask us or let us know about this....

I just had a re-read of the thread and this bit jumped out at me from your original post. The hotel has organised a wedding fair for the same day as your wedding and they haven't even had the decency to let you know, you had to find out through facebook.

wyrn · 14-12-2017 11:44AM

OP perhaps you could ask a friend to send an email or FB message to the hotel as an inquiry about the faire. They could ask questions like “can we see the honeymoon suite” and you can see if what the hotel is telling you correlates with what they’re saying to attendees. I’d make sure this friend isn’t a social media friend (so maybe a partner of someone) so that they can’t connect the two of you together.

I think for such a small hotel, they should have informed you, especially since this seems to be a departure from them usually holding the Faire on a different day.

I hope it works out for you. Best of luck

Kerry25x · 14-12-2017 11:52AM

KellyXX wrote: »

That happened on our wedding day.
The place was full of people coming in and looking around and taking to the staff. Loads were even asking the band for cards and coming up to myself or my parents during dinner and asking us what we thought of the process and questions about the hotel. It was my wedding day, p1ss off.

The photos are full of these random couples holding leaflets just standing around pointing and taking photos, a lot of them with parents etc.

Please name and shame this hotel!

SusieBlue · 14-12-2017 11:59AM

wyrn wrote: »

OP perhaps you could ask a friend to send an email or FB message to the hotel as an inquiry about the faire. They could ask questions like “can we see the honeymoon suite” and you can see if what the hotel is telling you correlates with what they’re saying to attendees. I’d make sure this friend isn’t a social media friend (so maybe a partner of someone) so that they can’t connect the two of you together.

I think for such a small hotel, they should have informed you, especially since this seems to be a departure from them usually holding the Faire on a different day.

I hope it works out for you. Best of luck

That's a really good idea, they won't have a leg to stand on that way.

whoopsadoodles · 14-12-2017 12:09PM

Doesn't even have to be a friend. Takes less than a minute to set up a gmail account.....

Teyla Emmagan · 14-12-2017 12:29PM

While I think what the hotel is doing is unfair I think you should prepare for it happening and work on not letting it upset you OP. Yes, you should try and limit the impact but I think it's unlikely they will cancel it entirely (and even if they did people won't realise and will still turn up). This might be one of those things that will only upset you if you let it. Because I think it may be something you will have to live with.

Many people must have this happen to them and their days aren't ruined and yours won't be either. I don't think you should let this overshadow your wedding if the hotel won't move the times. It's just very close now and you could potentially let it become a very big issue. Don't let it get to you too much. Obviously I hope you can somehow make it go away but if you can't don't let this spoil things. You will still have a perfect, beautiful day.

And you can rain terrible vengeance down on them afterwards if needs be.

Wellyd · 17-12-2017 04:01PM

I went to view two hotels when they were setting up for weddings that day. One appointment was for half one and it was literally a quick walkthrough the room to see how it was laid out. We couldn’t see the bridal suite in either as both parties had Their belongings in the rooms. It was only myself, my fiancé and the wedding coordinator and we were out of the ballrooms in less than 10 minutes. I think it was to help us see the room as it would be so we would have a better idea. I’d have no problem with anyone doing that on my wedding as long as it was early in the day before we arrived.

EagererBeaver · 17-12-2017 06:28PM

KellyXX wrote: »

coming up to myself or my parents during dinner and asking us what we thought of the process and questions about the hotel. It was my wedding day, p1ss off.

Lolololol, that flat out didn't happen like.

You've some strange, dare I say barely believable, stories, what with the landlord threatening eviction only for you to unearth a mysterious stash of bitcoins.

17-12-2017 07:18PM

Wellyd wrote: »

I went to view two hotels when they were setting up for weddings that day. One appointment was for half one and it was literally a quick walkthrough the room to see how it was laid out. We couldn’t see the bridal suite in either as both parties had Their belongings in the rooms. It was only myself, my fiancé and the wedding coordinator and we were out of the ballrooms in less than 10 minutes. I think it was to help us see the room as it would be so we would have a better idea. I’d have no problem with anyone doing that on my wedding as long as it was early in the day before we arrived.

A couple having a peek would be no problem. But it’s an open house fayre so they’ve no idea how many would turn up.

jimmycrackcorm · 17-12-2017 07:32PM

Strawberry Milkshake wrote:

A couple having a peek would be no problem. But itâ€™s an open house fayre so theyâ€™ve no idea how many would turn up.

Only people who are going to get married would turn up. And we all know they are only trying to ruin other peoples weddings...

Hotblack Desiato · 17-12-2017 09:31PM

That may or may not be their intention but it could well be the result.

stargazer 68 · 18-12-2017 12:14AM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Only people who are going to get married would turn up. And we all know they are only trying to ruin other peoples weddings...

But you could be looking at 50 or more people. Any open day I have been to anyway.

Gatica · 18-12-2017 10:43AM

GarIT wrote: »

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

OP has said on the first page that their reception starts at 2 and dinner is at 5. The fair ends at 4.

If I were OP I'd be insisting on the hotel providing security to ensure that once the set up starts nobody without an invite has a look into the room.

If it was me I'd have a friend I could trust hang out naked in the bridal suite for a while between checking in and the reception. At the very least I'd put out the do not disturb signs as soon as you arrive.

ha ha... that was my first though too. Have someone getting busy in the room if someone decides to take a peek. then again, you don't want someone else getting use of the room before you on the day...

It is not at all unreasonable of you to be mad at the hotel for this. At the very least they should've mentioned this to you. Having private viewings of the venue and function room setup on the day before your dinner is entirely different from having gangs of people coming in to roam around the hotel. Also, if you're having a reception for your guests with drink and food, what's to stop the visitors from partaking? There's always a limited number of reception food, so I wouldn't want to be depriving my hungry guests because of intruders. They'd wanna be fairly delicate about handling this. There's nothing to stop you telling potential couples that you're not happy with them being there as they're intruding on your day and the same could be done to them by the hotel, should they pick it. It's not libel, it's truth.

the purple tin · 18-12-2017 12:47PM

Bit cheeky on the hotels part, but like it has been said already don't piss them off. It would be very hard to find an alternative venue this late in the game.

James 007 · 18-12-2017 01:11PM

the purple tin wrote: »

Bit cheeky on the hotels part, but like it has been said already don't piss them off. It would be very hard to find an alternative venue this late in the game.

Yes, but its wrong that the customer has to accept this venue and need to accept to be pissed off on their big day. The hotel has got their paycheck they have the upper hand now.

I would be inclined to get the bestman and a team together to take photos of any interference on the day and threaten the hotel if it comes acropper by putting it on the local newspaper, 'A brides account of how her wedding day was ruined by XXX Hotel', they wont think fast about meeting your requirements for a discount.

I know this is secondary but the fact that they don't carry out these fairs on a day there is no wedding says it all. They seem to want to use the wedding as a showcase for other potential clients, as someone has already mentioned send them a bill for your wedding setup set etc.

mrs.doubt.fire · 18-12-2017 01:17PM

To find out from social media (Facebook) only 2 weeks before your wedding...ouch!!

Oldira · 18-12-2017 02:04PM

Have a look at the site weddingdates.ie. They have a list of upcoming wedding fairs around the country. Is your hotel on that list? If so you can see most are saying you can view the room as set up for a wedding. Not so good if you dont want voyeurs.

_Dara_ · 18-12-2017 02:46PM

the purple tin wrote: »

Bit cheeky on the hotels part, but like it has been said already don't piss them off. It would be very hard to find an alternative venue this late in the game.

It's awful that the hotel are basically taking advantage of that fact.

A 'like it or lump' attitude to a couple who have given them thousands of euro.

But, as others have mentioned in the thread, I think it would put me off booking that hotel if I had been considering it before. So it's short-sighted of the hotel, IMO. They could lose future bookings.

When my sister was scoping out wedding reception venues a few years ago, I went along with her and her hubs to one of the viewings because I was nearby on the day so they invited me. It was on the day of a wedding in the venue and we were at the viewing only about an hour before the guests started to arrive which really felt like it was cutting it fine to me. I was surprised that we were brought into the dining room. It felt totally wrong to me. The room was intricately set up and it struck me that we could have messed with some of the displays or the sweet table they had set up. We saw the names of the couple and all their guests. It just felt very intrusive. We were hanging around the red carpet reception area as they were beginning to bring out the welcome glasses of champagne for the guests, that's how close we were to people arriving for the reception. Obviously, we didn't go near the champagne and I don't think we wouldn't have been entertained anyway.

I think this really put my sister and her husband off having their wedding there. Would people do this on their wedding day? I'm sure the question was on their minds.

Hotels are losing sight of things when they are using someone's wedding day to drum up more business.

jimmycrackcorm · 18-12-2017 02:50PM

Dovies wrote:

But you could be looking at 50 or more people. Any open day I have been to anyway.

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

They're not going to be there dieing the actual reception, and as a hotel is public, any resident could more likely actually wander in some the reception is in place.

This kerfuffle just strikes me as bordering on the bridezilla-ish

GingerLily · 18-12-2017 02:57PM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

They're not going to be there dieing the actual reception, and as a hotel is public, any resident could more likely actually wander in some the reception is in place.

This kerfuffle just strikes me as bordering on the bridezilla-ish

I think the OP is being extremely reasonable - nothing bridezilla about this issue at all.

OldMrBrennan83 · 18-12-2017 03:01PM

This post has been deleted.

SusieBlue · 18-12-2017 03:11PM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

They're not going to be there dieing the actual reception, and as a hotel is public, any resident could more likely actually wander in some the reception is in place.

This kerfuffle just strikes me as bordering on the bridezilla-ish

Are you honestly saying that you would be happy as larry at the prospect of around 50 strangers being in and around your wedding reception, possibly even in the bridal suite, on your special day that cost tens of thousands of euro and months (years?) of planning?
Because I certainly wouldn't be. This couple have made a huge emotional and financial investment and deserve to enjoy their day in peace without the intrusion of others. They are entitled to the privacy to enjoy their reception with their guests without the stress of fair-goers gate crashing proceedings.

I would be fuming if I was in OP's position and think they're being extremely calm about it all.

_Dara_ · 18-12-2017 03:13PM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

They're not going to be there dieing the actual reception, and as a hotel is public, any resident could more likely actually wander in some the reception is in place.

This kerfuffle just strikes me as bordering on the bridezilla-ish

Well, as per my post a few posts back, we were brought into the dining room on the day of a couple's wedding. It was very intricately set up, both the tables and a sideboard with a sweet and cake display. An Alice in Wonderland theme. There was only three of us so nothing got messed up. But I was a bit on edge in the room, afraid I'd knock something or mess up a display. Imagine 50 or so people passing through the room. I could easily see something getting knocked over or a display moved around or messed up. I could also imagine people nicking sweets and if many people only took "one or two", that's the sweet table quite depleted.

It's just wrong and it's lame to reach for the 'bridezilla' epithet to try and undermine the OP's very valid concerns.

Optimalprimerib · 19-12-2017 07:27AM

Would a cheeky little comment by one of your friends to the Facebook announcement set them straight. Hotels tend to be quick to reply to negativity on social media to ensure future custom is not affected

Sunny Dayz · 19-12-2017 11:40AM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

I know when we went to wedding fairs, proper ones now not a spy at someone's own wedding, you do have a poke around. Having 50+ people having a look around, things are going to be lifted up to be inspected, to be touched. However often were we told as child "You see with your eye's, not with your hands".
At wedding fairs we've been to we were encouraged to take brochures, flick through sample photo albums, taste wedding cakes, touch the fabric for the suits and ties, feel have velvety the roses are etc. It's all part of the big sell.

5rtytry56 · 19-12-2017 11:55AM

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

"You see with your eye's, not with your hands".

Seen less of an obligation these days...

the_pen_turner · 19-12-2017 12:31PM

If I was going to a fair like this it would not cross my mind that it was someone's wedding day.
I would easily assume that everything was set up for us to look at and sample. Any names or pictures of the couple would be thought of as examples.
I would gladly pick up sweets or cakes and sample them or taste the wine.

You don't buy a couch without sitting in it. Wedding fair is the same , you try it out and taste stuff and see how the fit and finish of all the menus , name tags,seat decorations
I would guess that most people at the fair would act this way at a fair.

Op I would be very concerned about this fair. It's not right
I would insist on having it in writing what they will do to make sure this has zero impact on your big day and what the penalties are if there is any impacts

GarIT · 19-12-2017 01:26PM

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What difference would the numbers make? People would only be looking as they are highly unlikely to do anything that they would not want done on their own wedding day.

They're not going to be there dieing the actual reception, and as a hotel is public, any resident could more likely actually wander in some the reception is in place.

The OP has specified and I have already repeated that the wedding fair is during the reception not before it.

I don't want people looking at my setup if they're not invited. If you want to look ask for an invitation.

paddyirish23 · 20-12-2017 09:43AM

Hi all,
Sorry for delay in getting back to the thread. Thanks for all the comments! We met with the hotel in Sunday and the last booking will be at 2pm and they've thrown in a few extras. Also the open day is by appointment only so we happy enough with that to be honest. Sounded like they didn't have many booked in. Happy Days!

Hotel have advertised a wedding open day on the day of our wedding

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