Wedding expense ?

jamesf85 · 09-12-2017 01:34AM #1

Hi,

I'm a groomsman at a wedding coming up just after Christmas. The wedding is in Italy so is already an expense on people. Today we went to get suits for the groomsmen and afterwards when they were paid for we were told they were €700 each and could we transfer the money asap.

I was always under the impression that the suits were paid for by the groom.

Maybe this is normal I'm just curious?

GingerLily · 09-12-2017 01:39AM

Suit's should be paid for by the groom unless otherwise agreed. Your being taken for a ride - do not pay for that suit. He is taking advantage of you.

700e is very expensive for a groomsman suit - ridiculous that he's expecting you to pay for this.

StripedBoxers · 09-12-2017 01:41AM

€700 for a suit?!?! Sounds like you are being ripped off.

In my experience of weddings the bridals party clothing is covered by the bride & groom, unless they wore something they previously owned.

€700 is insanity, not to mention a trip abroad at what is a hugely expensive time for people anyway.

Personally, I would question the groom about this and I sure as hell wouldn't pay it. I'd offer to wear a suit I already own or buy one cheaper. Sure as hell wouldn't pay €700 or anything near it.

The cheek of them asking for €700. I wouldn't say a suit costs that, I'd say they're running short on cash for other areas of the wedding and hoping you'll be idiot enough to hand over the guts of a months rent to make up the shortfall.

Don't pay it. They're taking you for a ride.

Rubberchikken · 09-12-2017 01:43AM

Ask them.
Are you related to either?
700 euro for a suit for a groomsman seems very high.
I always thought the groom.paid for this at least.
This on top of a foreign country wedding seems a bit ott.

Vojera · 09-12-2017 01:55AM

Are the couple Irish? Because it's the norm in Ireland that the couple pay for the bridal party's outfits, but I know in the US, for example, bridesmaids and groomsmen are often expected to pay for themselves. So just wondering is it a cultural thing.

Either way, that's a ridiculous amount of money and to land it on ye without discussing it first is very poor form. Don't pay it and bring it up with the groom. You're already out of pocket travelling abroad. If it means stepping down as a groomsman then so be it. €700 would go a long way towards something you actually want rather than a suit that's not even of your choosing.

Dick Turnip · 09-12-2017 02:06AM

I've been groomsman twice, both times the suit was paid for.

I will be groomsman twice again next Spring. Again, both times the suit is paid for.

I'm not saying I'd expect that in all cases (sometimes rental either) but I'm guessing he picked out the suits? You tried them on? Then he emailed/ text after to say you were paying and also that they cost €700?!

Im sorry but he's taking the piss.

Also €700 is an outrageous price. You can get very decent suits for under €300 even

myshirt · 09-12-2017 09:03AM

It's probably an Italian suit. In that case, could very well be worth 700, even a bargain. The women spend thousands. This could be a gay man also.

Nevertheless, 700 per suit is at the upper end of what is sensible to be spending on a wedding when you consider all the other costs, unless you are quite wealthy. Then again, it's a free world.

Op, you'll have to handle it diplomatically. Tell them you know they want the best for the wedding, and you do wish the best, but 700 is just quite a lot of money right now and apologise but you can't justify it. You might maybe extend the olive branch of meeting him half way given there seems to have been confusion about who would pay for the suits.

splinter65 · 09-12-2017 09:08AM

OP that’s awful. Meet the groom for a serious chat and tell him that you wish him all the happiness in the world and you were honored to be asked but you’ll unfortunately have to step away from groomsman duties as it’s proving too expensive for you.
It’ll be easier then you think at this stage.

corsav6 · 09-12-2017 09:14AM

I got married in July, I paid for my groomsmen and best man's suit, and I had some change from €700.
If I was you OP I'd tell the groom to hire a suit for you and return that overpriced one, absolute madness expecting you to pay.

mirrorwall14 · 09-12-2017 09:15AM

We rented four morning suits and cravats, bought four shirts and still came in less than 700....

annoyedgal · 09-12-2017 09:19AM

I really hope this is a wind up! If this is an Irish wedding that is extremely out of order! Bridal parties do not pay for their clothes for a wedding and generally mens suits will be hired or bought by the groom for a reasonable price !
It's outrageous OP and you need to have a word with the groom. Simply put you can't afford to pay for the suit on top of travel expenses to his wedding so he can hire a suit for you, you can wear one you already have or you'll have to step away from groomsman duties. Simple.

minikin · 09-12-2017 09:20AM

Have you presented them with an invoice for your ‘Appearance Fee’ yet?
(€700 excl. travel and subsistence charges)
This would be standard for all professional events - which it sounds like it’s turning into.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 09-12-2017 09:39AM

Ive been involved in lots of weddings and never heard of anything like this before.

Think of it this way: 1) would you usually pay 700 quid for a suit, and 2) even if the answer is yes, wouldnt it be something of your own choosing for that price?

My advise - speak to the other groomsmen to get their thoughts and if in agreement, approach the groom together.

emeldc · 09-12-2017 10:42AM

myshirt wrote: »

It's probably an Italian suit. In that case, could very well be worth 700, even a bargain. The women spend thousands. This could be a gay man also.

Nevertheless, 700 per suit is at the upper end of what is sensible to be spending on a wedding when you consider all the other costs, unless you are quite wealthy. Then again, it's a free world.

Op, you'll have to handle it diplomatically. Tell them you know they want the best for the wedding, and you do wish the best, but 700 is just quite a lot of money right now and apologise but you can't justify it. You might maybe extend the olive branch of meeting him half way given there seems to have been confusion about who would pay for the suits.

Wha?

Dakota Dan · 09-12-2017 10:55AM

Where did the groomsman go? Maybe he is a late sleeper.

splinter65 · 09-12-2017 11:29AM

emeldc wrote: »

Wha?

The groom could be gay. The poster is suggesting that a gay groom would possibly have more expensive tastes then a straight groom.
Harmless stereotyping.

GingerLily · 09-12-2017 12:59PM

myshirt wrote: »

It's probably an Italian suit. In that case, could very well be worth 700, even a bargain. The women spend thousands. This could be a gay man also.

Wedding dresses can cost thousands, but bridesmaid dresses typically cost 50-250e rarely much higher - what are you on?

And what does the groom being gay or not got to do with this situation - it's irrelevant and stupid speculation.

emeldc · 09-12-2017 01:31PM

splinter65 wrote: »

The groom could be gay. The poster is suggesting that a gay groom would possibly have more expensive tastes then a straight groom.
Harmless stereotyping.

Yep, that's what I thought he meant. Fuggin' nonsense if you ask me.

bee06 · 09-12-2017 01:40PM

That is outrageous! If they expected ye to pay for the suits this should have been made clear when you were asked to be groomsman along with the budget for the suit. Some people have no concept that their wedding is only the most important day to them!

SteM · 09-12-2017 02:32PM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

Where did the groomsman go? Maybe he is a late sleeper.

He's out busking to raise money for the suit.

Homer · 09-12-2017 02:34PM

SteM wrote: »

He's out busking to raise money for the suit.

Selling his body more like :pac:

the_syco · 09-12-2017 04:42PM

jamesf85 wrote: »

The wedding is in Italy so is already an expense on people. Today we went to get suits for the groomsmen and afterwards when they were paid for we were told they were €700 each and could we transfer the money asap.

Unless they were a blood relative, I'd be saying goodbye to the chancer! Any groomsman I knew rented their suit.

jamesf85 · 09-12-2017 05:07PM

Thanks all for the replies,

It's an Irish couple. The suits are actually €700 each as I've seen the receipt.

I appreciate the replies and for clarifying that it's not the norm for the groomsmen to pay for their own suits. €700 is a crazy amount, I was hoping for at most €400.

It's going to be a very expensive event!

biZrb · 09-12-2017 05:08PM

jamesf85 wrote: »

It's going to be a very expensive event!

Don't pay them! They should be providing you with a suit to wear for their wedding.

OldMrBrennan83 · 09-12-2017 05:14PM

This post has been deleted.

splinter65 · 09-12-2017 05:26PM

Young Irish people are becoming more and more of a mystery to me
I don’t understand any of this.
The bride and groom pay for the hire of the suits for the wedding party.
The groomsman might buy himself a new pair of shoes and he’ll have his hair cut/beard trimmed.
That is it.
And trailing all the bloody way to Italy.
What a load of nonsense.

09-12-2017 09:15PM

It isn't normal. Don't pay it OP.

09-12-2017 09:32PM

jamesf85 wrote: »

Thanks all for the replies,

It's an Irish couple. The suits are actually €700 each as I've seen the receipt.

I appreciate the replies and for clarifying that it's not the norm for the groomsmen to pay for their own suits. €700 is a crazy amount, I was hoping for at most €400.

It's going to be a very expensive event!

are you actually considering paying this?

have you spoken to any of the other groomsmen?
are they happy to go along with this?
was anybody told beforehand about having to pay for their own ridiculously expensive suit, when it's not even their own wedding?

I feel bad for your situation here but I know I would be really mad and I'd have to say something

annoyedgal · 10-12-2017 10:27PM

Agree that it is total madness to consider paying for this!! Seriously they are taking the p@ss !

quote="justfillmein;105511217"]are you actually considering paying this?

have you spoken to any of the other groomsmen?
are they happy to go along with this?
was anybody told beforehand about having to pay for their own ridiculously expensive suit, when it's not even their own wedding?

I feel bad for your situation here but I know I would be really mad and I'd have to say something[/quote]

Gatica · 11-12-2017 11:30AM

OMG! it would be cheeky enough if the groom said transfer 50 quid to me towards the suits without discussing and agreeing it with the grooms party, but asking for 700!!! Maybe in some circles that's tuppence but I would consider that as far beyond even a wedding gift to a family member.
I would definitely hand over 0 for that and be having a word with the groom about WTF... if he genuinely cannot afford to pay for that himself, then maybe they need to cut their cloth to measure. Seems like they're looking for an extravagant wedding at other people's expense.

lazygal · 11-12-2017 12:03PM

This is so cheeky. I can't stand scabbiness around weddings and this is particularly irritating. Why do people ask people to be in the bridal party and then charge them for the privilege. I really think you're being taking for a ride OP. Friend of mine fell out with someone because they wouldn't stay for the two nights in the hotel the groom insisted on but wouldn't pay for. If you want a bridal party all costs should be budgeted for.

Wedding expense ?

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