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New guy....hygeine issues

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Comments

  • #32
    Bunny Colvin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭Bunny Colvin


    Why even bother bringing it up! You're only three dates in, just walk away. If he couldn't be bothered showering now then what's it gonna be like later?


  • #33
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,822 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Addle wrote: »

    If you're going to decide not to see him again over it, then I think you're as well bring it up.
    +1.

    If this is the only thing that is a problem with him (at this early stage), then why not bring it up?

    It'll be difficult, and it might not work out well...but then again it might.

    If it does, then great.

    If it doesn't, he's out of your life anyway.


  • #34
    SATSUMA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 706 ✭✭✭SATSUMA


    I think its all in the approach. Say it in a light hearted way... maybe hes nervous and sweats before seeing you! Maybe he has a deviated septum and cant smell himself! Maybe his washing machine is broken. Maybe hes on antibiotics which can affect BO. Maybe hes just dirty. Who knows.

    Whatever the reason its bothering you so you will have to tackle it some way. You cant lose a good guy over something like this. But you cant be with someone whos scent is unnattractive either!

    Go in for a hug and say "theres some bang off that jumper man!" Blame it on the jumper...

    Good luck


  • #35
    SB_Part2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,951 ✭✭✭SB_Part2


    I don't envy you OP. A guy who I had normally only met in a group situation ended up getting a lift home with me one day. It wasn't until we were in close confined space that I got a BANG of BO off him. Didn't have the heart to tell him and it turned me right off him.


  • #36
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,992 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    I think this is definitely not worth ending something you could see developing into more over.
    Say something light hearted to him, say you love the smell of some brand of shower gel on a man and that he should get some,say anything at all .

    If he pays no attention let him go. If he makes an effort then give him a chance. This is a very early remedied problem. If you don't say something then the next girl will and most likely he'll head of into the sunset showered and aftershaved with her. If that thought irks you then speak up in a non insulting way now.


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  • #37
    Malayalam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,188 ✭✭✭Malayalam


    Yellow pack crisps wrote: »
    Might be not drying is clothes properly or quickly enough and that damp smell is rank! It’s very strong and can smell like it’s BO!

    This.
    Lads can be bad at drying their clothes and once garments have got that musty smell only a good scour with baking soda has any chance of getting rid of it. Anyway you could separate him from his clothes and decide which reeks?


  • #38
    notsoyoungwan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    Malayalam wrote: »
    This.
    Lads can be bad at drying their clothes and once garments have got that musty smell only a good scour with baking soda has any chance of getting rid of it. Anyway you could separate him from his clothes and decide which reeks?

    Easily enough, I reckon!

    OP, I'd be one of those advising you say something, rather than just get rid of him. If you say something and he then doesn't address it, that's a different matter, but give him the chance at least.


  • #39
    mikeysmith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 326 ✭✭mikeysmith


    I wouldn't bother bringing it up or trying to fix his hygience issue at this early stage

    He either brings good hygiene to the table or he doesn't and if he doesn't cut him loose


  • #40
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    I'd find it really hard to get excited about being intimate with someone who didn't take care of their personal hygiene to be honest. It's kind of one of those basic things that you learn about and make a habit of at an early age so I wouldn't be too optimistic about a "few words" having any kind of behavioural impact for more than a few days. You either get that showering and smelling clean is important or you don't, you know?

    Go ahead OP if you think he's worth sticking around for, but be prepared to be constantly annoyed and infuriated by this down the line - it's three dates in and you're already bothered by it.


  • #41
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Some people just smell worse than others - might not be hygiene related at all.
    But if it was me - I'm not going out with no smelly bugger, that's just the end of that. Superficial or not, I don't care, I'm just not doing it!


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  • #42
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,992 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    I'd find it really hard to get excited about being intimate with someone who didn't take care of their personal hygiene to be honest. It's kind of one of those basic things that you learn about and make a habit of at an early age so I wouldn't be too optimistic about a "few words" having any kind of behavioural impact for more than a few days. You either get that showering and smelling clean is important or you don't, you know?

    I would be of the opinion that no one wants to be smelly. I would worry that when someone lets that basic aspect of self-care go in their life they're usually some massive stress or are seriously struggling on some level even if it's no apparent. That's why I'd give someone a chance to remedy it. It could be like someone says too that he might be naturally a bit smellier. I know one guy who has a smell from his breath that can pervade the air around him at times and it turned out it's caused by a recurring infection in his sinus which he is utterly mortified about it means he's very nervous about dating or working with people.

    I could be wrong but I've never met anyone yet who's just not given a damn about these kind of things or had a life long habit of being smelly. I'd be slow to judge someone on it. That said I wouldn't judge the OP for deciding it's not for her either.


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