Should men consider taking the wife's name after tying the knot?

Foxhound38 · 02-11-2017 03:44PM #1

Just read an interesting poll/article on the subject - link here if you want to read it.

The jist is that the man taking the woman's surname after marriage seems to be on the increase in the UK, and the article asks whether it could catch on here.

I don't personally know of any couples where this has happened in my circle of friends, although I do know of some where the wife has kept her surname unchanged.

Would I go that route myself? Probably not, although I wouldn't be one to insist on my name being taken either. A double-barrelled name would probably be an acceptable compromise provided it wasn't too unwieldy.

What about you fine citizens of AH? Would it be something the lads here would consider? Would it be something the ladies here would expect to be considered?

cantdecide · 02-11-2017 03:45PM

I personally know one couple that did it. I'd do it no problem and definitely before going for the dreaded 'double barrel' option.

uch · 02-11-2017 03:45PM

I know a couple of Finn's that have taken their wives names, think it's common enough there, but open to correction

cantdecide · 02-11-2017 03:46PM

uch wrote: »

I know a couple of Finn's that have taken their wives names, think it's common enough there, but open to correction

Well Finn is a rubbish surname so no wonder they changed it...

judeboy101 · 02-11-2017 03:46PM

Great way to have multiple id's with different names

Riskymove · 02-11-2017 03:47PM

I don't think either should change name - no need for it these days.

The only issue that should arise is if you have kids and what you want their surname to be

even then the Icelandic people get on ok with their approach!!

The_Valeyard · 02-11-2017 03:48PM

"The is the dawning of a new age of Equality"

I stopped reading there.

uch · 02-11-2017 03:49PM

judeboy101 wrote: »

Great way to have multiple id's with different names

Ah if you want a couple of ID's just get one in yer name as Gaeilge

02-11-2017 03:49PM

Would the man's original surname be his maiden name? Maiden is a rather female term.

joe stodge · 02-11-2017 03:51PM

WHIP CRACKING SOUND....

BarryD2 · 02-11-2017 03:52PM

Why not? Particularly if it's an unusual name and worth keeping 'alive'.

kylith · 02-11-2017 03:53PM

A friend of mine has a very unusual name, in fact were she to take her partner's name should she get married there would then be no-one with her surname in the country. In that case I think her husband should take her name, to ensure that the kids would have it too and save it from dying out.

bren2001 · 02-11-2017 03:53PM

If my wife can beat me in mario kart, I'll take her name.

joe stodge · 02-11-2017 03:53PM

These are probably the same type of guys who have a shared Facebook account with the wife.

jayobray · 02-11-2017 03:54PM

Why would I want to be called Deirdre?

SEPT 23 1989 · 02-11-2017 03:56PM

maybe he could wear the dress too

One eyed Jack · 02-11-2017 04:01PM

If I'd a surname like 'Hoare', I might give it some consideration, unless her surname was 'Ramsbottom', then I wouldn't.

Day Lewin · 02-11-2017 04:04PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Well Finn is a rubbish surname so no wonder they changed it...

Unless they had the option of a wife surnamed Salmon. Or Codd, Herring, Sharkey...

pwurple · 02-11-2017 04:08PM

Sure, why not. Pick the cooler name, and go with it.
Or neither change. Whatever works. Freedom and all that.

I wouldn't underestimate the clout of a name by the way. The older I get, the more I realise how there can be a difference in the way people treat you, associated with your name. Take you a bit more seriously if there is a well known business associated with your name maybe.
I've seen some very silly names from the "change you name on marriage" convention where the surname just is ridiculous with the name.
Grace Grace

seamus · 02-11-2017 04:09PM

Don't see the issue. Do whatever you want.

Benildus · 02-11-2017 04:11PM

I would consider it, then swiftly reject the idea.

JimmyMcGill · 02-11-2017 04:13PM

If she didn't like McGill that'd be a deal breaker. Cant have her chasing me around Boards.ie as well ffs.

Cina · 02-11-2017 04:13PM

if she's from an exotic country and I can therefore rename myself to Mickey Dos Santos Riviera then absolutely.

DavyD_83 · 02-11-2017 04:17PM

Another vote for 'Do what you want'.
It was up for debate for a while, just to decide what we wanted, rather than to decide what we should do.
In the end, we decided we wanted to have the same name; it's nice, and neither of us wanted a different surname to our kids.
My wife changed her name because she wanted to.

I offered to change mine, genuinely wouldn't have cared apart form the endless explaining I would have to do to people who would see it as something more meaningful than it is and some sort of personal afront. It'd be like not drinking on a stag just because you don't feel like it (not something I'd do myself, but if you want to/ don't want to, fire away).

I did consider us both changing to a 3rd name, but couldn't think of anything I would genuinely want to change to and would be a load of hassle to make some nonsense point to nobody in particular.

c_man · 02-11-2017 04:30PM

No I wouldn't. I laid out the terms to herself, she could keep her name after marriage but I was insistent that the kids take my name. Luckily for me she wanted in on switching names.

I do know of one man locally who took his wife's name. I never see him out and about without her. Never see him in the pub. Don't know much about him, but tbh from appearances I'd wager most of ye would pick him out of a line-up as the most likely to do so.

Triceratops Ballet · 02-11-2017 04:34PM

c_man wrote: »

I was insistent that the kids take my name.

Out of curiosity why?

Father Hernandez · 02-11-2017 04:40PM

Met an American guy a few years ago who married another American lady with an Irish surname.

He took her name to sound 'Irish' and thought it was great how we were both great Irishmen when I met him for the first time.

Therefore, I am against this

Foxhound38 · 02-11-2017 04:40PM

c_man wrote: »

I laid out the terms to herself, she could keep her name after marriage but I was insistent that the kids take my name.

Why would this be so important to you? I'm not judging mind, to each their own - just curious.

02-11-2017 04:44PM

It's a bit of a showy wanker move tbh imo

Not that I'd care one way or the other whether one does the traditional or doesn't (my wife kept her name and icgaf).

But doing the exact opposite of tradition is tryhard pointmaking.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-11-2017 04:45PM

uch wrote: »

I know a couple of Finn's that have taken their wives names, think it's common enough there, but open to correction

Yeah I’ve a cousin who married a Finn and he took her name. Sounded strange until I heard that’s the way the Finns do it so it’s no stranger than taking the man’s name.

I didn’t ask my Mrs to take my name and my sister didn’t take her husband’s name. If we have children they will probably take my name.

I’d no more take my wife’s name than I’d expect her to take my name, so it’s a no got me. But, each yo their own.

Triceratops Ballet · 02-11-2017 04:47PM

I do know a guy who did it, but his dad was abusive a$$hole and he didn't want to carry the name on

Should men consider taking the wife's name after tying the knot?

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