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Sex on a 1st date - opinions?

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24

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    I think most people would be the same and I think that's because the majority of sex on first date or a ONS tends to involve alcohol, hence most ONS stories being of the kind I just relayed. Not that I haven't hooked up with, or a had relationships with someone I had sex with on the first night, I have, and see from the thread some people have even gone on to get married.

    Perhaps alcohol consumption is key to whether they lead to anything worthwhile or night.

    I rarely drink alcohol, and TBH if I'm dating I avoid it for a few reasons. Firstly because it does affect my judgment, secondly, I prefer that the woman is fully aware of her choice when it happens but mostly because it does reduce my effectiveness during sex. It's fine when you're a teen or early 20s but later, you'll find that alcohol does affect overall performance and stamina.

    Nah. Most of my casual sex would have been on impulse, seeing someone and just wanting to be with them because they're particularly beautiful/sexy or simply because I was lonely.

    I've found that the focus on alcohol and sex tends to be more of Irish/British/Australian thing. Drugs do come into place in other countries, but the vast majority of my experiences in Eastern Europe/Russia, and Asia were without drugs or alcohol. Admittedly, my experience in Ireland is very limited, since I haven't really spent that much time here until recently.


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    #33
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,137 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    AMKC wrote: »
    I think having sex on the first date is a no.

    If you have sex on the first date then there is less reason for your date to come back if it goes bad. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th date but not on the first date.

    If you're going to have bad sex together you might as well find out on the first date and not waste any more time, no?


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    #34
    Stacksofwacks
    Registered Users Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stacksofwacks


    Its up to the woman really. In my own experience most women that go home with a guy on the first nite tend to be either skanks or psychos. generally the longer you are left waiting the better the gal. Most men will go home the first nite with a girl anyway


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    #35
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Brett Quick Priest wrote: »

    It is nice to see the death of that old double standard "she's definitely not good enough for me, she had sex on the first date! With me. I'm still relationship material though obviously"

    **** I jinxed it.


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    #36
    Working class heroes
    Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Working class heroes


    I usually have sex on the last date, funny that:confused:

    Racism is now hiding behind the cloak of Community activism.



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    #37
    123shooter
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭123shooter


    If she says no..........move on theres another 3.5 billion of them:)


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    #38
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Brett Quick Priest wrote: »
    **** I jinxed it.

    Why do you women have to ruin everything?


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    #39
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    My Wife and i had sex the first night and don't regret it. I also had sex with other women, in the past the first night and dated them later on.

    Do you think this person will see me after or he just out for the one night stand? Some men are different the enjoy the sex, they will keep coming back for more!


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    #40
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,041 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    One time I brought this young lady home who was all over me in the taxi, kept whispering in my ear telling me the outrageous stuff she was going to do. Obscene stuff. Then when we got it she went into the toilet and I thought she had fallen asleep she was so long. Then all of sudden I heard the door slam and had left. When I went into the jacks she had puked and shat the place out of it. Almost phone the Guards to report her for vandalism.

    Jasus that's rough. At least she didn't puke or sh1t on you though.


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    #41
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    My Wife and i had sex the first night and don't regret it.

    Yeah, but ye were married, so that's fine. :D


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    #42
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    Yeah, but ye were married, so that's fine. :D

    I met her at a party long time ago and we went back to my house i was renting and had sex. 4 years later we married and i have two kids now with her.


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    #43
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    What i see more nowadays is men going out with there friends and leaving wife's and girlfriends at home, alot. it so odd to me. Majority of time i take the wife with me when i meet my friends.


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    #44
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    What i see more nowadays is men going out with there friends and leaving wife's and girlfriends at home, alot. it so odd to me. Majority of time i take the wife with me when i meet my friends.

    Nothing wrong with that. It's good for blokes to hang around with other blokes. No harm everyone meeting up from time to time, but just the lads hanging together is a whole different and worthwhile dynamic.


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    #45
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    I met her at a party long time ago and we went back to my house i was renting and had sex. 4 years later we married and i have two kids now with her.

    I guessed. Didn't think it was an arranged marriage. ;)


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    #46
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    AMKC wrote: »
    I think having sex on the first date is a no.

    If you have sex on the first date then there is less reason for your date to come back if it goes bad. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th date but not on the first date.


    That's a weird mindset.. so if the date goes bad, and yer man just wants to ride you, why bother having him coming back? Just let it end at that point, no?

    Personally I think sex on the first date makes sense. I, like others in the thread, hate the 'have to work for it' approach that many women seem to love. Very off-putting.


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    #47
    Cheerful Spring
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,893 ✭✭✭Cheerful Spring


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with that. It's good for blokes to hang around with other blokes. No harm everyone meeting up from time to time, but just the lads hanging together is a whole different and worthwhile dynamic.

    Oh i know this. I just see lot of married men out all the time with their friends and no sign of the wife. In fact i am heading out for the night tonight, but waiting on her getting ready.


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    #48
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Personally I think sex on the first date makes sense. I, like others in the thread, hate the 'have to work for it' approach that many women seem to love. Very off-putting.

    It's a very intimate (pretty much the most intimate thing you can do) act and thinking a girl is a time waster because she wont jump your bones after a brief few hours is immature.


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    #49
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    but waiting on her getting ready.

    Grand, we've plenty of time to chat yet ;)


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    #50
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    Never expected it or sought it tbh. But i guess you could flip it, saying that this could be the last ever date you have together and the last time you ever meet...'let's do it for the last time...'


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    #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    It's a very intimate (pretty much the most intimate thing you can do) act and thinking a girl is a time waster because she wont jump your bones after a brief few hours is immature.

    I don't mind waiting for sex, but I find, as i said in my post, the 'having to work for it' attitude is very off putting.


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    #52
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I don't mind waiting for sex, but I find, as i said in my post, the 'having to work for it' attitude is very off putting.

    The few times that I've made a guy wait a while for sex was because I liked them and wanted to make sure they'd stick around afterwards and weren't just after one thing. So it was never about "making them work for it".


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    #53
    Hector Bellend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    You cant beat a good ride.


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    #54
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Hector Bellend wrote: »
    You cant beat a good ride.

    A great ride?


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    #55
    Hector Bellend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    A great ride?

    A nice bit of an aul fanny


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    #56
    anitaca
    Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭anitaca


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Not to be some sort of old-school prude, but I'd take it slowly if I was a woman. It has nothing to do with purity or adhering to some silly unwritten rule that you're a whore if you do put out on the first date; it's more the fact that I think you can fall for a complete wanker much harder and much faster (not a pun on either account) if the sex is good. And if it is, you'd probably overlook red flags on the next date, warnings that you might not have ignored had you not jumped into bed.

    By the same token, if the sex is piss poor then you might not want to carry on, and could potentially miss out on a diamond of a bloke. And maybe his shortcomings (again, not a pun) in that department could be ironed out by knowing your body better over time, which obviously won't happen if you jog him on. I don't know. There's a bunch of pros and cons I guess, but if I was a woman, I'd wait. Sex is the most important unimportant thing in the world, but introducing it on the first date, I think, will do more harm than good.

    Then again, who the **** knows :o

    Would that not apply the other way around too?


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    #57
    _Kaiser_
    Registered Users Posts: 28,711 ✭✭✭✭_Kaiser_


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    It's a very intimate (pretty much the most intimate thing you can do) act and thinking a girl is a time waster because she wont jump your bones after a brief few hours is immature.

    I'd agree that yes, expecting someone to hop in the sack with you after a few hours and writing them off if they don't is ridiculous.

    But at the same time, I agree with KKV that being expected to "earn" it is a bit much too.

    Personally I've always thought of sex as fun and enjoyable. Yes it's much more fun and enjoyable with someone you love and are in a relationship with, but that's not a prerequisite either if both sides are comfortable together. I don't put the same "weight" on the whole thing.. I think that just adds pressure and probably unrealistic expectations to the situation.

    Just do whatever feels right for both of you at the time IMO. Personally I'm very attracted to women who are comfortable with sex and expressing it as well as comfortable with themselves in more general sense.


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    #58
    123shooter
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭123shooter


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    How?

    There are various ways one of which is to drop your loaded wallet on the floor.......never fails.


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    #59
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    123shooter wrote: »
    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    How?

    There are various ways one of which is to drop your loaded wallet on the floor.......never fails.

    For a mugging?!?


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    #60
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    Oh i know this. I just see lot of married men out all the time with their friends and no sign of the wife. In fact i am heading out for the night tonight, but waiting on her getting ready.
    I don't see anything wrong with that


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    #61
    beefburrito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 695 ✭✭✭beefburrito


    sporina wrote: »
    So, is it a no go for a potential relationship or is that old school - what say ye?

    Yes please.


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