The "my pet is a cool fcuker"thread Include pics if you got them

I have 2 and they're the loves of my life.
The oldest is 7, he was my dads dog and now he's mine. His personality reminds me a lot of my dad. Very patient, kind, gentle and laid back. His favourite things in the world are me, his brother, balls, anything that squeaks and licorice sweets.
He HATES the postman. Anyone else could be robbing the place and hell just want to play ball with them but he detests the postman. He barks and barks and barks when the postman is in his van but runs away scared when he gets out. Unless the postman is coming towards me, then he's not having any of it. He will not let him anywhere near me and nearly ate him alive the one time he tried. It's weird because he loves people and isn't like that with anyone else.

He hates me talking to anyone that's not him. If I answer the phone he'll bark at me. If I don't get out of the car straight away he'll stand at the car barking at me.
He has his own very comfy bed and a memory foam couch but still chooses to sleep at the door nearest to my room. If I accidentally leave a door open he'll come up the stairs and sleep outside my room door. I would let him sleep in my bed but he takes up way too much room and would have me out on the side hanging on for dear life. When he's sick he's allowed sleep on my bed for cuddles til he feels better. He HATES the shower and tries to rescue me from the shower every morning. I think he thinks I'm trapped so he'll bark and hit the glass with his paw. When the door opens he's satisfied and walks off before the nasty shower will suck him in too. He sits on my knee in the vets because he's scared and he's so huge all you can see are my legs sticking out.

Baby boy is a little brat. He's so naughty and hyper and needy but he loves his mammy. He'll get into your arms like he did when he was a small puppy even though he's so much bigger, he'll cosy into you and be happy enough like that. If I'm sad or crying he'll climb up on my chest, lay down on top of me, splat across my chest and lay his head on my shoulder. He's very much the boss - he has the have the best bed, the attention, the ball, the first treat. He wrecks the older dogs head but the older dog has the patience of a saint. They are adorable together. They adore each other. They cuddle each other. Big dog keeps his paw over the baby. Baby sits on big dog. Baby cuddles into big dog.

We celebrate birthdays with treats, a nice dinner and a birthday cake. We have balloons and new toys. At Xmas time santa comes and is always very generous. I love them so much they're so special to me.

I want a dog!!

I'm not impressed.