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Friend left me drunk

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Comments

  • #32
    Optimalprimerib
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,885 ✭✭✭Optimalprimerib


    It's good that you feel bad op, so that you now know what your limit is. Your friend messed up as well but you will both learn from it. Well you might, it took me a few lessons to learn my limit (and am still learning) but these things happen.


  • #33
    valoren
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,650 ✭✭✭valoren


    I remember meeting a friend during a weekend home to Cork in 2008. It was May 2008, Munster playing in the Heineken Cup final was the focal point of the meet up. We went out circa 5pm.

    I drank about 5 pint's of beer over the course of 4 hours or so. My friend was a big drinker, the kind of guy who could and did drink all day. I kept pace with him. We decided to get some bottles and head back to his place where we planned to play poker, watch QI DVD's (yes, we were regular cool dudes) which he was a big fan of. I drank another 4 bottles of strong beer and by now I was drunk, but not fall down drunk. My friend asked if I wanted some rum and coke as he had bought some the week before. I don't normally drink spirits but I accepted. It was a very full measure, more rum than coke, but I drank it anyway. After that was gone, the room started to spin soon after and I got sick. He put me in a spare room and I actually needed a dish to catch the vomit. It wasn't my finest moment. Now you hear stories about famous musicians choking/drowning on their vomit. That could very much have happened to me that night.

    If that did happen then it would have been entirely my own fault. Thankfully it didn't happen and I could have blamed my friend for giving me far too much rum but that would have been me deflecting my personal responsibility for having drunk far too much myself in the first place. I drank well beyond what I would do normally and that I put myself in a potentially dangerous situation.

    I wouldn't blame your friend for giving you too much booze. What she did to abandon you in your drunken state was uncalled for. I guess there's an unwritten rule that when out and drinking we need to take care of our friends to make sure they're ok. Your friend let you down there, and it should be a lesson learned but to have reached the point where you can't recall with clarity what happened is entirely your own responsibility.


  • #34
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi,
    Thanks for all the replies and apologies for the lack of response on my behalf.
    To answer a few questions- my friend wasn't that drunk as she said she was taking
    it easy enough on the drink after a few messy weekends of me cleaning up her sick,
    helping her home, piecing together her nights out etc,. She has always been the one that
    gets too drunk and I have always been the person to look after her like I would do for anyone
    regardless of how close I was to them, in my opinion its the right thing to do. To the person who commented on the malice, part of me thinks that maybe she was testing my limits as I am
    never ever ever the friend that gets into such a condition like that and wanted me to be the one making an idiot out of myself for once.

    To the person who suggested going out sober, I'm actually only recently back drinking as I was off it for months due to a lifestyle plan I was following. Yes, I drank the drink even though I thought it was a little strong becausse after being off vodka for so long I still find even a pub measure strong therefore I didn't assume anything wrong. The friend admitted laughing that she felt guilty shed given me so much alcohol but even though she's admitting fault she doesnt seem to care therefore some of you will be delighted to know I've more or less told her that that's really the friendship done with. I've spent countless nights minding her and the only time I have ever needed her she's dumped me and left me for some random guy without a care in the world that I am the worst she's ever seen me (in her words).

    Thanks for all your comments. I understand personal responsibilty with drink and I'm sure you'll have seen the fact that this is the one and only time I have ever been in such a state therefore I dont make a habit of it


  • #35
    Meeoow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 663 ✭✭✭Meeoow


    Good on you. If you can't trust her, you did the right thing.
    I'm friendly with a girl at work. Few years back at Xmas party, someone bought us a shot. I knocked mine back, and noticed that she pretended to do same, but she actually threw it behind her.
    I'm wary of her now, wouldn't go out drinking with her again. I hate that crap. I find the people who yap about being big drinkers generally sit and drink feck all and watch everyone getting drunk.


  • #36
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    drunky wrote: »
    Hi,
    Thanks for all the replies and apologies for the lack of response on my behalf.
    To answer a few questions- my friend wasn't that drunk as she said she was taking
    it easy enough on the drink after a few messy weekends of me cleaning up her sick,
    helping her home, piecing together her nights out etc,. She has always been the one that
    gets too drunk and I have always been the person to look after her     like I would do for anyone
    regardless of how close I was to them, in my opinion its the right thing to do. To the person who commented on the malice, part of me thinks that maybe she was testing my limits as I am
    never ever ever the friend that gets into such a condition like that and wanted me to be the one making an idiot out of myself for once.

    To the person who suggested going out sober, I'm actually only recently back drinking as I was off it for months due to a lifestyle plan I was following. Yes, I drank the drink even though I thought it was a little strong becausse after being off vodka for so long I still find even a pub measure strong therefore I didn't assume anything wrong. The friend admitted laughing that she felt guilty shed given me so much alcohol but even though she's admitting fault she doesnt seem to care therefore some of you will be delighted to know I've more or less told her that that's really the friendship done with. I've spent countless nights minding her and the only time I have ever needed her she's dumped me and left me for some random guy without a care in the world that I am the worst she's ever seen me (in her words).

    Thanks for all your comments. I understand personal responsibilty with drink and I'm sure you'll have seen the fact that this is the one and only time I have ever been in such a state therefore I dont make a habit of it
    This clears up a lot, especially the bits in bold and if it had been in your op I don't think there would be anyone questioning you. You are a good friend. She is not. She was lucky to have you in her life but you are better off without the drama. Fcuk her.


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  • #37
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Meeoow wrote: »
    Good on you. If you can't trust her, you did the right thing.
    I'm friendly with a girl at work. Few years back at Xmas party, someone bought us a shot. I knocked mine back, and noticed that she pretended to do same, but she actually threw it behind her.
    I'm wary of her now, wouldn't go out drinking with her again. I hate that crap. I find the people who yap about being big drinkers generally sit and drink feck all and watch everyone getting drunk.

    i think this was a pretty smart strategy from her. You were at a work party, so many people behave appallingly at them. She had probably given herself a few groundrules before she headed out like no wine after dinner and if somebody buys you a shot, toss it instead of getting into a row. It's your business if you wanna drink your own shot.


  • #38
    blairbear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 384 ✭✭blairbear


    Meeoow wrote: »
    Good on you. If you can't trust her, you did the right thing.
    I'm friendly with a girl at work. Few years back at Xmas party, someone bought us a shot. I knocked mine back, and noticed that she pretended to do same, but she actually threw it behind her.
    I'm wary of her now, wouldn't go out drinking with her again. I hate that crap. I find the people who yap about being big drinkers generally sit and drink feck all and watch everyone getting drunk.

    I do this ALL the time. I know my limitations and at times I have to throw drinks away/leave them places if they are bought for me without me asking.

    That girl was just being responsible.


  • #39
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    blairbear wrote: »
    I do this ALL the time. I know my limitations and at times I have to throw drinks away/leave them places if they are bought for me without me asking.

    That girl was just being responsible.

    Same tbh. Bizarre that this poster would take it as a conspiracy against her.


  • #40
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,115 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Meeoow wrote: »
    someone bought us a shot. I knocked mine back, and noticed that she pretended to do same, but she actually threw it behind her.
    I'm wary of her now,

    I'm not a big drinker, nor do I profess to be. But I've been in that awkward situation where someone is insisting that I have another, a shot, a short, whatever. As an adult I'd think I'm perfectly entitled to decide what I want to drink, and when! But people can get really funny with you if you refuse their offer of a drink! I've gone out nights and not drank, I've gone out nights and drank small amounts and I've always had a great night. I don't think I'm sitting there "watching everyone getting drunk', well I suppose I am, but not in the way you imply.

    The fact that you are now "wary" of someone who didn't knock back a shot that was insisted upon her says more about your attitude to drink then it does hers.

    OP, you have to do what you feel is right for you. There is an awful attitude to drink in this country. (As per the post above you're either a "big drinker" or you're someone to be wary of because you don't drink enough by other people's standards) Your friend can't handle hers, and by the sounds of it isn't much help if you've had a few too many. She's not your minder, and I suppose from the amount of times you've had to take care of her on nights out, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that she wasn't the most reliable person to depend on if you needed her.

    Friendships often drift apart. Mid twenties is a time when some people start moving in different directions. Some leave the binge drinking weekends behind them, some continue them for a while longer. You both now have different priorities. If you like her company, without drink involved, you could stop going out drinking with her, and meet for lunch or something instead. She'll cope without you, she doesn't need you minding her, so don't feel like you have to be there to be that person.


  • #41
    Meeoow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 663 ✭✭✭Meeoow


    Ah no, and I was just about to ask yiz out for boards beers.


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  • #42
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,115 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Meeoow, please read The Forum Charter before posting in Personal Issues again.


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