Do you read on the toilet?

09-09-2017 9:09pm #1

Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

Do you read on the throne?

Mint Sauce · 09-09-2017 9:10pm

on the toilet right now.

gifted · 09-09-2017 9:10pm

Aldi magazine...brand new ones with all gadgets...the ultimate loo reading material..

lazybones32 · 09-09-2017 9:12pm

Did it once and found it very relaxing.

Noel82 · 09-09-2017 9:13pm

I get a strange elated sensation right before I do the deed and for whatever reason reading even a shopping magazine with food adds suddenly becomes really interesting.

Del2005 · 09-09-2017 9:15pm

Does a Bear number 2 in the woods.

We've sensor lights in the toilets in work, they occasionally go out when laying cable.

JimmyMcGill · 09-09-2017 9:18pm

I find broadsheets deflect too much of the smell away from my nostrils.

Just the phone enough for me.

tomwaterford · 09-09-2017 9:20pm

What do lads be at in the toilet that need to read the pass the time

If your not ready to sh1te,come back later when you are??

fryup · 09-09-2017 9:21pm

i know a man who does and it gave him terrible constipation

MilesMorales1 · 09-09-2017 9:22pm

Yes, I'm currently reading this when I'm sitting on the bog.

JimmyMcGill · 09-09-2017 9:22pm

tomwaterford wrote: »

What do lads be at in the toilet that need to read the pass the time

If your not ready to sh1te,come back later when you are??

So much time and effort put into the brewing process its a shame not to savour it.

mad muffin · 09-09-2017 9:28pm

368100 wrote: »

Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

Do you read on the throne?

You mustn't be a parent?

It's my sanctuary

Hector Bellend · 09-09-2017 9:35pm

You cant beat a good solid dump.

One eyed Jack · 09-09-2017 9:38pm

368100 wrote: »

Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

Do you read on the throne?

Hold on a minute. A toilet in the barbers? I'm wondering how anyone could cope with the smell ordinarily, but a guy in there for 20 minutes? :eek:

The nostril hairs must be burnt off the poor barber having to put up with the pong :pac:

09-09-2017 9:50pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Hold on a minute. A toilet in the barbers? I'm wondering how anyone could cope with the smell ordinarily, but a guy in there for 20 minutes? :eek:

The nostril hairs must be burnt off the poor barber having to put up with the pong :pac:

Thankfully I exited before it wafted out

branie2 · 09-09-2017 10:23pm

Never done it

RicketyCricket · 09-09-2017 10:51pm

Absolutely. One of lifes little pleasures.

fmpisces · 09-09-2017 11:00pm

Depends on what I'm doing in there

But I do usually bring my phone in with me.

Paddytheman · 09-09-2017 11:06pm

fmpisces wrote: »

Depends on what I'm doing in there
But I do usually bring my phone in with me.

Have to agree with this, I mean a paper or even a book is quite a commitment that I couldn't plan for.
However It's not unknown for me to head off and play angry birds on the can to pass some time. We actually coined the phrase "angry legs" at work where you end up playing too long with your elbows resting on your knees and when you go to stand up your legs give way.....

Miss Demeanour · 09-09-2017 11:08pm

Ladies dont poo.

But if we did....it would be Now magazine.....just saying.

JimmyMcGill · 09-09-2017 11:09pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Yes, I'm currently reading this when I'm sitting on the bog.

Authors name is almost an anagram of broke anal. Is it mostly about diarrhoea that book?

evolving_doors · 09-09-2017 11:11pm

"Hey buddy while you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something" :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY4IMAM-j3U

Del2005 · 09-09-2017 11:12pm

Miss Demeanour wrote: »

Ladies dont poo.

But if we did....it would be Now magazine.....just saying.

That's where I learned about TOWIE and the other ****e TV shows, on the bog in my Sister's homes

Four Phucs Ache · 09-09-2017 11:14pm

I stopped after the 3rd or 4th time I collapsed in a heap on the floor when I went to stand up.

Dead legs !

leggo · 09-09-2017 11:18pm

Mint Sauce wrote: »

on the toilet right now.

Same.

freshpopcorn · 09-09-2017 11:49pm

I often read things off my phone whilst on the toilet.

JimmyMcGill · 09-09-2017 11:51pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I often read things off my phone whilst on the toilet.

Careful!! Hate wiping the phone screen of the arse myself

freshpopcorn · 09-09-2017 11:55pm

JimmyMcGill wrote: »

Careful!! Hate wiping the phone screen of the arse myself

Anti-bacteria wipes and you'll be grand!

Purple Mountain · 10-09-2017 12:39am

My bath is beside the toilet and we're a splashy lot in the bath so for a few hours after bath time there'll be a broadsheet spread on the tiles to soak up the spillages.
So I sit on the toilet hunched over from the waist reading whatever page isn't soaked through. Depending on how interesting the random page is, I could be there for half an hour.
Read all of Jackie Tyrell's promo article on his new book there today...

Surreptitious · 10-09-2017 1:01am

I ONLY read on the toilet.

RobertKK · 10-09-2017 1:20am

No, I don't suffer from constipation.

Pwindedd · 10-09-2017 2:28am

RobertKK wrote: »

No, I don't suffer from constipation.

Yeh I'm a quick pooer too. Coffee, fag ....phuduhduhduh. Done till the next morning.

prinzeugen · 10-09-2017 2:46am

gifted wrote: »

Aldi magazine...brand new ones with all gadgets...the ultimate loo reading material..

You should flush down that with all the other ****e!

Reading Statsiland (again) myself during loo time.

Donald Trump · 10-09-2017 2:49am

Pwindedd wrote: »

Yeh I'm a quick pooer too. Coffee, fag ....phuduhduhduh. Done till the next morning.

Sounds like you might be needing an oul' box of Lectade Plus

Donnielighto · 10-09-2017 9:50am

RobertKK wrote: »

No, I don't suffer from constipation.

Yeah that's the question....

10-09-2017 10:21am

Always, it used to be newspapers and magazines now it's the internet (boards mostly). I don't do short trips to the toilet, normally about 30 mins in there so it's my chance to catch up on boards and news etc mid morning everyday. One of my favourite times of the day.

myshirt · 10-09-2017 10:35am

Yes, it's one place I can get away from the wife asking me to do something. If I try read the Sunday papers in the living room I get interrupted and given a couple of jobs to do.

Burial. · 10-09-2017 10:38am

No but I do go on Tinder and start swiping for new matches.

ToddyDoody · 10-09-2017 1:56pm

No, but I'll bring a cup of tea in and could pretend to read 'tea leaves'

10-09-2017 8:01pm

Leilani Agreeable Sellout wrote: »

Always, it used to be newspapers and magazines now it's the internet (boards mostly). I don't do short trips to the toilet, normally about 30 mins in there so it's my chance to catch up on boards and news etc mid morning everyday. One of my favourite times of the day.

Wow....if i saw someone spend 30 mins in the toilet id think there was something seriously wrong with them

Do you read on the toilet?

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