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Do you read on the toilet?

  • 09-09-2017 9:09pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭


    Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

    It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

    Do you read on the throne?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    on the toilet right now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,942 ✭✭✭gifted


    Aldi magazine...brand new ones with all gadgets...the ultimate loo reading material..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    Did it once and found it very relaxing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 419 ✭✭Noel82


    I get a strange elated sensation right before I do the deed and for whatever reason reading even a shopping magazine with food adds suddenly becomes really interesting.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,071 ✭✭✭✭Del2005


    Does a Bear number 2 in the woods.

    We've sensor lights in the toilets in work, they occasionally go out when laying cable.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭JimmyMcGill


    I find broadsheets deflect too much of the smell away from my nostrils.

    Just the phone enough for me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    What do lads be at in the toilet that need to read the pass the time

    If your not ready to sh1te,come back later when you are??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    i know a man who does and it gave him terrible constipation


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    Yes, I'm currently reading this when I'm sitting on the bog.
    51Z86UGHIIL.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭JimmyMcGill


    What do lads be at in the toilet that need to read the pass the time

    If your not ready to sh1te,come back later when you are??

    So much time and effort put into the brewing process its a shame not to savour it.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    368100 wrote: »
    Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

    It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

    Do you read on the throne?

    You mustn't be a parent?


    It's my sanctuary :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    You cant beat a good solid dump.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,361 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    368100 wrote: »
    Was at the barbers earlier and the guy at the till grabbed a newspaper (left out for customers) and went and locked himself in the toilet.....wasn't out 20 mins later, it was a broadsheet too :-S, I'll never read a paper there again!

    It's the last thing I'd think of doing. .....I'm an in and out sorta person...

    Do you read on the throne?


    Hold on a minute. A toilet in the barbers? I'm wondering how anyone could cope with the smell ordinarily, but a guy in there for 20 minutes? :eek:

    The nostril hairs must be burnt off the poor barber having to put up with the pong :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    Hold on a minute. A toilet in the barbers? I'm wondering how anyone could cope with the smell ordinarily, but a guy in there for 20 minutes? :eek:

    The nostril hairs must be burnt off the poor barber having to put up with the pong :pac:

    Thankfully I exited before it wafted out


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,308 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Never done it


  • Registered Users Posts: 732 ✭✭✭RicketyCricket


    Absolutely. One of lifes little pleasures.


  • Registered Users Posts: 888 ✭✭✭fmpisces


    Depends on what I'm doing in there :o
    But I do usually bring my phone in with me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 271 ✭✭Paddytheman


    fmpisces wrote: »
    Depends on what I'm doing in there :o
    But I do usually bring my phone in with me.

    Have to agree with this, I mean a paper or even a book is quite a commitment that I couldn't plan for.
    However It's not unknown for me to head off and play angry birds on the can to pass some time. We actually coined the phrase "angry legs" at work where you end up playing too long with your elbows resting on your knees and when you go to stand up your legs give way.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,383 ✭✭✭Miss Demeanour


    Ladies dont poo.

    But if we did....it would be Now magazine.....just saying.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭JimmyMcGill


    Yes, I'm currently reading this when I'm sitting on the bog.
    51Z86UGHIIL.jpg

    Authors name is almost an anagram of broke anal. Is it mostly about diarrhoea that book?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    "Hey buddy while you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something" :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,071 ✭✭✭✭Del2005


    Ladies dont poo.

    But if we did....it would be Now magazine.....just saying.

    That's where I learned about TOWIE and the other ****e TV shows, on the bog in my Sister's homes


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,017 ✭✭✭Four Phucs Ache


    I stopped after the 3rd or 4th time I collapsed in a heap on the floor when I went to stand up.

    Dead legs !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Mint Sauce wrote: »
    on the toilet right now.

    Same.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,067 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I often read things off my phone whilst on the toilet.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭JimmyMcGill


    I often read things off my phone whilst on the toilet.
    Careful!! Hate wiping the phone screen of the arse myself


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,067 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Careful!! Hate wiping the phone screen of the arse myself

    Anti-bacteria wipes and you'll be grand!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,377 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    My bath is beside the toilet and we're a splashy lot in the bath so for a few hours after bath time there'll be a broadsheet spread on the tiles to soak up the spillages.
    So I sit on the toilet hunched over from the waist reading whatever page isn't soaked through. Depending on how interesting the random page is, I could be there for half an hour.
    Read all of Jackie Tyrell's promo article on his new book there today...

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    I ONLY read on the toilet.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 33,758 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    No, I don't suffer from constipation.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,296 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    RobertKK wrote: »
    No, I don't suffer from constipation.

    Yeh I'm a quick pooer too. Coffee, fag ....phuduhduhduh. Done till the next morning.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,891 ✭✭✭prinzeugen


    gifted wrote: »
    Aldi magazine...brand new ones with all gadgets...the ultimate loo reading material..

    You should flush down that with all the other ****e!

    Reading Statsiland (again) myself during loo time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,643 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    Pwindedd wrote: »
    Yeh I'm a quick pooer too. Coffee, fag ....phuduhduhduh. Done till the next morning.


    Sounds like you might be needing an oul' box of Lectade Plus


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,761 ✭✭✭Donnielighto


    RobertKK wrote: »
    No, I don't suffer from constipation.

    Yeah that's the question....


  • Posts: 24,714 [Deleted User]


    Always, it used to be newspapers and magazines now it's the internet (boards mostly). I don't do short trips to the toilet, normally about 30 mins in there so it's my chance to catch up on boards and news etc mid morning everyday. One of my favourite times of the day.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    Yes, it's one place I can get away from the wife asking me to do something. If I try read the Sunday papers in the living room I get interrupted and given a couple of jobs to do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭Burial.


    No but I do go on Tinder and start swiping for new matches.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    No, but I'll bring a cup of tea in and could pretend to read 'tea leaves'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    Always, it used to be newspapers and magazines now it's the internet (boards mostly). I don't do short trips to the toilet, normally about 30 mins in there so it's my chance to catch up on boards and news etc mid morning everyday. One of my favourite times of the day.

    Wow....if i saw someone spend 30 mins in the toilet id think there was something seriously wrong with them


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