Kids on Flights

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 07:56PM

^ I'm sorry to hear about your son.
But I do think consideration is a 2 way street, anyone, special needs or not, can have a meltdown at times but labelling people inconsiderate or saying they have no decency because they're annoyed at a child screaming loudly for almost 2hrs is also inconsiderate and are acting "entitled". More consideration is needed on both sides

iamwhoiam · 31-08-2017 08:24PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Some of the comments on this thread I can't believe.

I have an autistic son. We fly regularly. He can have meltdowns but always. We do as much prep work as humanly possible and I am sure other parents do too.

Hmm what can be worse than q autistic child on an airplane that has an meltdown?

Inconsiderate people who think they are entitled to everything without realising other people have the right to be there too regardless if they have special needs or not.

Sorry if this is a rant but I deal with this crap every day all day from people who have no decency or acceptance for different people.

In all fairness you have no idea why other people may not at that moment be tolerant . Other people also have their own worries or concerns . Maybe they are rushing home to an ill relative , or heading home for a funeral or are sick and going for a second opinion
Consideration works both ways and there are other people with tough lives or going through hard times . If you want tolerance then you must also understand that others do too

the_syco · 31-08-2017 08:47PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Inconsiderate people who think they are entitled to everything without realising other people have the right to be there too regardless if they have special needs or not.

So... other people are inconsiderate because you think you're entitled to be there more than them? :pac:

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:02PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

^ I'm sorry to hear about your son.
But I do think consideration is a 2 way street, anyone, special needs or not, can have a meltdown at times but labelling people inconsiderate or saying they have no decency because they're annoyed at a child screaming loudly for almost 2hrs is also inconsiderate and are acting "entitled". More consideration is needed on both sides

In general in my day to day life I experience very little tolerance of austitic people. On a flight my child would not be screaming for two hours ever but if he does scream and someone makes a snide comment or a big deal of it the it doesn't help thee situation. so yeah consideration can work wonders for people with sensory issues.

Children have to put up with adults drinking on aeroplanes being louder than usual and rowdy. Couples fighting, people crying because they are scared of flying etc. Sensory issues or not that is scary for children. Do you remember being a child and of an adult spoke to you about anything it was scary. So yeh sensory issues or not give a child some consideration.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:05PM

the_syco wrote: »

So... other people are inconsiderate because you think you're entitled to be there more than them? :pac:

The needs are more complex with a child with autism. So yeah I do. We get q passes at airports and special assistant. Why? Because our child has a disability so yeah I do. A kid word or even a smile can diffuse a situation.

We are trying very hard to contain our screaming child trust me.

pilly · 31-08-2017 09:06PM

caniask86 wrote:

In general in my day to day life I experience very little tolerance of austitic people. On a flight my child would not be screaming for two hours ever but if he does scream and someone makes a snide comment or a big deal of it the it peelings the situation and upset so yeah consideration can work wonders for people with sensory issues.

The thing is though the situation we're discussing was a child screaming for an hour and 45 minutes. Now the person who says they wouldnt be annoyed by that is lying.

Also, a lot of the time people do not know a child is autistic. It's not always obvious.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 09:08PM

caniask86 wrote: »

The needs are more complex with a child with autism. So yeah I do. We get q passes at airports and special assistant. Why? Because our child has a disability so yeah I do. A kid word or even a smile can diffuse a situation.

We are trying very hard to contain our screaming child trust me.

There's the bugggest issue. Thinking you're more entitled or important than everybody else on the flight. You're not. I'm glad you get additional help and assistance and I hope that makes your trips with a special needs child easier but your comfort or your "rights" do not exceed everybody else's

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:09PM

pilly wrote: »

The thing is though the situation we're discussing was a child screaming for an hour and 45 minutes. Now the person who says they wouldnt be annoyed by that is lying.

Also, a lot of the time people do not know a child is autistic. It's not always obvious.

Well we are hardly going to brand the child on the forehead so other people can see his autistic.

Just some understanding that the parents are trying.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:13PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

In all fairness you have no idea why other people may not at that moment be tolerant . Other people also have their own worries or concerns . Maybe they are rushing home to an ill relative , or heading home for a funeral or are sick and going for a second opinion
Consideration works both ways and there are other people with tough lives or going through hard times . If you want tolerance then you must also understand that others do too

I do understand and ways try to be considerate and careful of triggers for my son. Have everything possible to keep him calm on plane and etc. If some adult was sobbing loudly on a to plane I think others would be quicker to help or have more tolerance. Children can't always express why sad.

iamwhoiam · 31-08-2017 09:14PM

caniask86 wrote: »

The needs are more complex with a child with autism. So yeah I do. We get q passes at airports and special assistant. Why? Because our child has a disability so yeah I do. A kid word or even a smile can diffuse a situation.

We are trying very hard to contain our screaming child trust me.

Do you not think that consideration works both ways ? You are not alone in having problems in this world . Of course a smile and a kind word can work wonders . Equally a smile from you might be all is needed to relax another very stressed person
His needs are complex yes but you also must consider that other people may very well have complex needs of their own.
Many people have needs , many people have worries or fears or simply poor health too . Right then at that very moment in time another person might just not be capable of a smile or kind word due to their own complex lives

Ps . Sorry , we were typing at the same time !

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:15PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

There's the bugggest issue. Thinking you're more entitled or important than everybody else on the flight. You're not. I'm glad you get additional help and assistance and I hope that makes your trips with a special needs child easier but your comfort or your "rights" do not exceed everybody else's

Let's all ban disabled toilets too shall we?? Why should the have their own private bathroom. Isn't that above other people's rights who have to share bathrooms. The horror.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:18PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Do you not think that consideration works both ways ? You are not alone in having problems in this world . Of course a smile and a kind word can work wonders . Equally a smile from you might be all is needed to relax another very stressed person
His needs are complex yes but you also must consider that other people may very well have complex needs of their own.
Many people have needs , many people have worries or fears or simply poor health too . Right then at that very moment in time another person might just not be capable of a smile or kind word due to their own complex lives

Ps . Sorry , we were typing at the same time !

I understand that and I always do but it's rarely returned when we are traveling. Nine times out of ten it's a cross word to us about our child. A lot of lack of understanding. We do everything possible to make our child relaxed and prepared but sometimes he does kick off and it's unavoidable but we try out damn best to get it under control.

31-08-2017 09:18PM

pilly wrote: »

The thing is though the situation we're discussing was a child screaming for an hour and 45 minutes. Now the person who says they wouldnt be annoyed by that is lying.

Also, a lot of the time people do not know a child is autistic. It's not always obvious.

You can find something unpleasant without being annoyed by it, and usually you can see the parents doing their best to manage the situation, so you'd hardly be annoyed with either them, or the child who can't help it.

Of course it's uncomfortable and unpleasant to listen to, but put in your earbuds or put your headphones on, it's more reasonable to do that than it is to expect people to never use a form of public transport on the off chance that they get distressed.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 09:19PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Let's all ban disabled toilets too shall we?? Why should the have their own private bathroom. Isn't that above other people's rights who have to share bathrooms. The horror.

Sometimes an attitude problem is more dehabilitating than some special needs

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:20PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Sometimes an attitude problem is more dehabilitating than some special needs

Exactly Lexie, yours.

spookwoman · 31-08-2017 09:20PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Sometimes an attitude problem is more dehabilitating than some special needs

Was thinking same thing not going to win any sympathy votes with that attitude

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:28PM

spookwoman wrote: »

Was thinking same thing not going to win any sympathy votes with that attitude

Not sympathy but some understanding which seems everyone is swimming in consideration and understanding for everyone except for children.

irishmoss · 31-08-2017 09:32PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Children can't always express why sad.

But isn't that the whole point of this conversation? A mother subjected her autistic child to a two hour flight and the child was in complete distress for an hour and a half. Why is her mother not listening to her child's distress instead of posting on Facebook how her fellow passengers were annoyed.

spookwoman · 31-08-2017 09:36PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Not sympathy but some understanding which seems everyone is swimming in consideration and understanding for everyone except for children.

People have their own stuff to deal with could be mental health issues, illness, family, bereavement etc. Not everyone likes kids, wants to interact with them and some don't know how to interact with kids.
Those people huffing and puffing could have been have mild form of autism or Asperger's or anything To call them ignorant and lacking understanding without even knowing anything about them now that's pot calling the kettle black.

31-08-2017 09:41PM

spookwoman wrote: »

People have their own stuff to deal with could be mental health issues, illness, family, bereavement etc. Not everyone likes kids, wants to interact with them and some don't know how to interact with kids.
Those people huffing and puffing could have been have mild form of autism or Asperger's or anything To call them ignorant and lacking understanding without even knowing anything about them now that's pot calling the kettle black.

People do indeed have their own stuff, but they're adults so are likely to be better equipped to deal with them for a few hours than a special needs child.

I think we're down the rabbit hole of entitlement top trumps when you can't be irritated at an adult huffing and puffing at an autistic child, in case the adult is also autistic. The far more likely explanation is that the adult is just being rude.

If the kid kicks off and the parents are trying to deal with it, there is nothing that eye-rolling, sighing, or dirty looks will add to the situation other than make it even more stressful and unlikely to be resolved.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:47PM

Candie wrote: »

People do indeed have their own stuff, but they're adults so are likely to be better equipped to deal with them for a few hours than a special needs child.

I think we're down the rabbit hole of entitlement top trumps when you can't be irritated at an adult huffing and puffing at an autistic child, in case the adult is also autistic. The far more likely explanation is that the adult is just being rude.

If the kid kicks off and the parents are trying to deal with it, there is nothing that eye-rolling, sighing, or dirty looks will add to the situation other than make it even more stressful and unlikely to be resolved.

Thanks Candie for explaining this much better than I can. Exactly this.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:52PM

irishmoss wrote: »

But isn't that the whole point of this conversation? A mother subjected her autistic child to a two hour flight and the child was in complete distress for an hour and a half. Why is her mother not listening to her child's distress instead of posting on Facebook how her fellow passengers were annoyed.[/quote

Subjected... Hmm. Maybe her son hates the plane but it's the only way to get to his nanny who he loves. My son hates getting his hair cut, nails trimmed etc but is delighted with the results. Also hates and screams at injections but needs them.
Isn't there alot on this thread judging women from bringing in plane, is this for the child's sake of their own.
We all deserve the same enjoyment of life special needs or not.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 09:53PM

So when your son is an adult, would you not appreciate people showing some consideration to his needs or is he fair game when he reaches adulthood? That he needs to ignore triggers and accept he's not as important as a screaming child?

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 09:57PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So when your son is an adult, would you not appreciate people showing some consideration to his needs or is he fair game when he reaches adulthood? That he needs to ignore triggers and accept he's not as important as a screaming child?

I'll be raising him with understanding and compassion. Hopefully through early intervention and support he will learn the ability to cope in difficult situations in adulthood if not he will have a companion or carer with him which I'm sure will explain the situation to him and put on his ear defenders or music.

irelandrover · 31-08-2017 09:58PM

Candie wrote: »

People do indeed have their own stuff, but they're adults so are likely to be better equipped to deal with them for a few hours than a special needs child.

I think we're down the rabbit hole of entitlement top trumps when you can't be irritated at an adult huffing and puffing at an autistic child, in case the adult is also autistic. The far more likely explanation is that the adult is just being rude.

If the kid kicks off and the parents are trying to deal with it, there is nothing that eye-rolling, sighing, or dirty looks will add to the situation other than make it even more stressful and unlikely to be resolved.

The parent should just ignore the eye roll. How many eye rolls or dirty looks do you get on a flight? You cant expect people to ignore a screaming child and then not ignore an eye roll or quick dirty look.

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 10:01PM

irelandrover wrote: »

The parent should just ignore the eye roll. How many eye rolls or dirty looks do you get on a flight? You cant expect people to ignore a screaming child and then not ignore an eye roll or quick dirty look.

What about the child? My child is emotional intelligent and high IQ. He understands this dirty looks and eyerolls.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 10:11PM

caniask86 wrote: »

What about the child? My child is emotional intelligent and high IQ. He understands this dirty looks and eyerolls.

Just tell the child the truth if he's able to understand. "When people scream constantly, some people find that upsetting and don't enjoy listening to it on a plane".

caniask86 · 31-08-2017 10:13PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Just tell the child the truth if he's able to understand. "When people scream constantly, some people find that upsetting and don't enjoy listening to it on a plane".

Hope we are never beside you on a plane

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 31-08-2017 10:13PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Hope we are never beside you on a plan.

Hope so

irishmoss · 31-08-2017 10:44PM

caniask86 wrote: »

Subjected... Hmm. Maybe her son hates the plane but it's the only way to get to his nanny who he loves. My son hates getting his hair cut, nails trimmed etc but is delighted with the results. Also hates and screams at injections but needs them.
Isn't there alot on this thread judging women from bringing in plane, is this for the child's sake of their own.
We all deserve the same enjoyment of life special needs or not.

In this case the mother was going on holidays with her partner and two other children.

The things you describe above that your son hates are necessary to his welfare. Of course you deserve enjoyment of life like everyone else but that doesn't mean putting a child in an enclosed space for two to three hours when they have sensory issues. Holiday's don't have to be a two hour plane journey.

If this situation happened anywhere else I'd have no sympathy for the complainers because they could get up and walk away. But in this situation everyone was trapped.

Kids on Flights

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