Do relationships with big age gaps last?

Foweva Awone · 26-07-2017 03:04PM

In all fairness it's almost impossible to get pregnant accidentally if you're using reliable contraception, and using it correctly.

TerrorFirmer · 26-07-2017 03:07PM

Being realistic, looking at it objectively it's a very fair point that was made.

You're over-reacting to a very honest observation. I'm not questioning your happiness, nor hers, but it something a lot of people would question (perhaps not actually to your face, but certainly in their own minds or amongst others).

ibarelycare · 26-07-2017 03:08PM

I wouldn't blame them if I had two accidental pregnancies within a couple of years of each other. Especially if the second one was to a wealthy man twice my age! It's not that hard not to get pregnant.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:09PM

This post has been deleted.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:15PM

This post has been deleted.

eviltwin · 26-07-2017 03:15PM

3 kids by 19 :eek::eek:

ibarelycare · 26-07-2017 03:23PM

Permabear you spend a huge amount of time talking about you and your OH's relationship on boards. You give a huge amount of detail. Do you really expect people not to judge and question?

If you had never been in this situation and a wealthy friend of yours met a girl half his age, who had no money, had been kicked out of home, and had no job, I'm sure you'd be wary. And if she proceeded to accidentally get pregnant again very early into the relationship I'm sure you'd be even more wary.

I know that if I was unfortunate enough to ever have an accidental pregnancy, I'd go to extreme lengths to ensure it didn't happen again, particularly not in the very early stages of a new relationship. I'd imagine most women in that situation (and, of course, who didn't want to get pregnant again) would be the same.

The Moldy Gowl · 26-07-2017 03:27PM

There is 4 'young' interns in my place. They are 22/21. 2 girls 2 guys.

They just look so young to even think about getting involved with. Its the same as every 18-21 year old ive seen. They just look so young.
Since reading this thread ive tried putting ny feet in permas slippers.

Ive been thinking about the reaction of people if one of the older people here got with the interns.
Oldest here is only 38ish.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:27PM

This post has been deleted.

B0jangles · 26-07-2017 03:32PM

Why the repeated need to bring up the age and gender of people - specifically and only women in their '30s, who comment less than positively on what you've told the thread about your relationship?

As others have pointed out, you are the one who has seen fit to post a LOT of detail about his partner and their relationship in this and multiple other threads; it's a little foolish to get annoyed with people (even if they happen to be 30-something women!) for commenting on what you have seen fit to tell the whole world.

Unless you were expecting to get nothing but approbation and high-fives for living the dream and having a girlfriend half your age.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:33PM

This post has been deleted.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:37PM

This post has been deleted.

ibarelycare · 26-07-2017 03:40PM

How can I be malicious towards a faceless, nameless stranger? I'm simply passing comment on the information that you choose to share.

If you don't want her to be discussed (either positively or negatively) then don't talk about her. You clearly want your relationship to be discussed as you never miss out on an opportunity to speak about it. If my bf spent half as much time talking about me to strangers on the internet as you do about your OH, I'd be pretty freaked out.

26-07-2017 03:41PM

Why do you keep saying bitter and resentful? Some are happy for ya, some are skeptical, some are curious. Who exactly is bitter and/or jealous and why would they be?

whoopsadoodles · 26-07-2017 03:42PM

Permabear, I don't actually have much of an issue with a big age gap as I mentioned earlier in the thread.

But please don't accuse others of misogyny when you have a number of times referenced "bitter and jealous thirty something women" it is the epitome of the pot calling the kettle black.

The Moldy Gowl · 26-07-2017 03:44PM

You have been going since 3am utah time monday morning on about. Its 10 am now? Have a coffee and go for a walk and stop trying to validate your relationship to people halfway across the world

byronbay2 · 26-07-2017 03:46PM

https://www.rte.ie/news/2017/0726/893024-japan-violins/

Having read this thread earlier, I had to giggle when I saw this story: Age-gap marriage gone badly arseways! I wonder is she one of those bitter 30-something women I've been reading so much about lately?

The Moldy Gowl · 26-07-2017 03:46PM

No. Not toddlers. Just not fully grown up and matured.
You can leave the statistics at the door. Im judging it on my eyes.

I have never seen your wife. I dont even think she exists for what its worth, you already know my feelings. So many holes to your story.

eviltwin · 26-07-2017 03:47PM

Having concern isn't a bad thing. I'd be concerned if my 20 yr old daughter was in a relationship with a man older than me and had three children no matter how happy she appears to be. More so given her relationship, or lack of with her folks. I will be honest I'm shocked at the idea of being a mum of three while still a teenager, I hope she doesn't feel years from now that she missed out on something. I hope she's always as happy as she is now. I couldn't personally see myself having a relationship with someone so much younger, I have a 20 yr old who is very mature and I'm only 40 and a young 40 at that but there is definitely a generation gap. I don't think she's a gold digger and I think such comments are unfair. Don't judge you either, you both seem happy and it works for you so that's all that matters.

Permabear · 26-07-2017 03:49PM

This post has been deleted.

ohnonotgmail · 26-07-2017 03:49PM

he's not in Utah. He's from North Carolina.

ceadaoin. · 26-07-2017 03:52PM

What was it you were saying earlier about "misogynistic speculation"? Lol

Every post you make about your relationship is another red flag. Good luck to you both

26-07-2017 03:52PM

Again, who's bitter or resentful? And over what exactly?

ibarelycare · 26-07-2017 03:55PM

If you're referring to me, I have absolutely nothing to be embittered or resentful about when it comes to you and your OH's relationship.

B0jangles · 26-07-2017 03:55PM

One does not have to be either bitter or resentful to be dubious about a situation where a girl not yet out of her teens already has three children and is living with a man more than twice her age. A man who has demostrated in this very thread that appears to have some issues with 'older' women (ie women 3-13 years younger than himself!), and difficulty with understanding that people can quite validly disagree with him and not be misinformed or wrong.

As one of those toxic 30-something women, I genuinely hope that your relationship is a happy one for all of you, but quite frankly I would be worried that your partner may find it difficult to develop as an independent adult while in a relationship with so many imbalances tilted against her.

eviltwin · 26-07-2017 03:56PM

I'm seeing no evidence of bitterness, not sure where that's coming from. Some of the worst comments about your partner are from posters I believe are male. Don't assume every women over 30 who has doubts about your relationship is bitter,probably it's more remembering ourselves at that age and how worldly wise we thought we were and how now, with the benefit of age and experience, we realise we were anything but.

26-07-2017 03:56PM

This is one of those glorious threads that didn't go the way it was expected to!

Once you get past the suspension of disbelief on this thread, you're left cringing, laughing, and full of pity all at the same time.

If you don't want people offering opinions on your relationship, then for Gods sake stop talking about it in exquisite detail if you don't expect it to be treated like a poorly written soap opera. The transparently pettifogging accusation that women are jealous over this creepy situation isn't resulting in any more respect for it.

I'm just off to swim in the sea, moderately happily.

eviltwin · 26-07-2017 03:58PM

Is the OP American?

....... · 26-07-2017 03:59PM

This post has been deleted.

Wibbs · 26-07-2017 04:00PM

Well last time I looked I wasn't a woman in her thirties and I have had a few age gap relationships myself* and have no issue with them and if a guy can pull it off then fair play if it works and my eyebrows have raised a few times.

Oh and not so much for the "vulnerable teenage woman" BTW. As I said if I had a mate in your scenario it would be him I'd be concerned about and not just because he was a mate. After all she would be set for life from such a setup regardless of the way it panned out. Especially with shared kids and if there were a ring on the finger and doubly so in a US court. Men can be daftly naive, nay moronic when caught up in the love/mickey moment. Myself included at times. Before I got a grip. And part of getting that grip was actually listening to women mates about concerns I had.

Well.... yeah there is more than the sniff of the old "trophy wife" going on alright. Though this kinda thing can be an American "look how well we're living the American dream" vibe. I've noted it before with Americans and emigres to there, particularly with the ambitious. It's not necessarily a fault either BTW. The Irish are much more backward in tooting their own horn.

*never really been with a woman my own age. Plus I have a couple of mates who have had/had pretty big age gaps going on including one who married a lass 20 years his junior and has two kids in play. And he's a pretty wealthy guy who could have easily retired at 35 and with a nice lifestyle with it. One difference is that I can't recall him pointing out the age gap, certainly not as a thing. Though he is also an Irish emigre to the US. Then again he's been shooing away the ladies since he was a teenager with no cash so that might be part of it. His missus was also doing pretty well in her chosen field before they met and continues to do so. He could have directly helped her there but she was having none of it, she just wants the normal spousal support.

Do relationships with big age gaps last?

Comments