Kif, I've mated with a woman...Inform the men

Frank O. Pinion wrote: »

They didn't start a thread in After Hours about their escapades.

Ah who cares. Why cry over split milk.

@OP - Being a parent is easier than you think it is. The fear you feel right now is totally understandable but will eventually subside into excitement soon enough.

irelandrover wrote: »

It was a lot of fun?

Possibly could've been nearly as fun with a condom, without being followed by 18 years of financial burden. Possibly.

beertons wrote: »

Is the woman a looker?

OP is a man.

razorblunt wrote: »

OP is a man.

Who impregnated a woman. Guessing that question was about said woman.

get used to doing things with one hand.

TheShow wrote: »

get used to doing things with one hand.

If he'd done that in the first place he wouldn't be in this position

Our little girl was born 4 weeks ago (3 weeks premature - her due date was last week). She's our first also. After only a month, I'm probably not the most qualified to advise you what to expect (everyday has something new for me). The sleep, or lack of, isn't too bad for us. There are other things that I hadn't expected that were initially pretty overwhelming. I was surprised at how sad I felt and how much I would pine for our old, pre-baby lives:

We've been married for 2 years and had been living together for 3 before that. We live in a quiet part of the midlands, having moved down after several years in Dublin. We have a few very close friends and some relatives living nearby. A couple of times a week, we used to call over to them or them to us or we'd head down to the local country pub. In hindsight, it was a pretty care-free existence, even during a pregnancy that required several trips to A&E.

After the initial torrent of visitors to baby, we both started feeling really lonely. There was also the cloud of self-doubt and outright panic about everything with the baby ("Am i doing this right?"). Luckily we are friends with another recently "familied" couple who reassured us that they went through the exact same mourning for their old lives and that it would pass in no time.

Things really changed for me when my paternity leave ran out and I had to go back to work. First day back, my wife had come into town and brought baby with her so I met them briefly over lunch. I could barely bring myself to go back to work afterwards and I realised that now, more than anything, I was pining to get home to my new family.

Massive congrats, I have 2 rugrats myself (had the first when I was 35 and second at 39). Although having kids can be incredibly tough, they are more than worth it and you will have some incredible times.
My advice:

• The day of the birth is going to be the most insane, incredible and emotional day for you. Women have this baby growing inside them so they have a connection... when you get handed your first born it's impossible to describe the feeling... it's like a click of a switch...everything you thought was important is no longer important and you end up with a extension of your conscious safety senses being wrapped around this baby. It is without doubt the most emotional thing that has ever happened to me.
• Are you planning on living with the mother? If so, start cutting down on your sleep to acclimatise yourself to the lack of sleep. This is the hardest part for men as we don't have the rush of hormones that women get to enable them to get past this, we end up being walking zombies.
• As above, if you are going to live with the mother, be prepared for anything. Women are not themselves when pregnant so take everything with a pinch of salt and prepare for the inevitable nesting period where she will turn the house upside down.
• If you have anything that you want to do that isn't suitable for kids, do it now, once the bambino arrives you will not be able to do it.
• I highly recommend you read Gina Ford's book - some people love it/ some hate it but I have to say it makes the first few months tough but when you have a 4 month old that sleeps almost all night, it's a godsend. You either do the method or don't, it doesn't work if you go halfway.
• If your doing above, stick the the schedule, it can be a pain in the ass but having a a 6 month that sleeps all night is the pay off.
• Once it time to move the baby to their own room do it, the longer you hold out, the harder it is for both mother and baby.
• Buy a black out blind for the baby's room - trust me!
• Buy a camera monitor with VOX - trust me!
• Don't be too quiet about the house when the baby goes to bed, its good for them to get used to noise so then you wont end up having to listen to the TV on headphones and tip toeing around the house
• Get a safe teddy bear and buy 4 of them and rotate them.... they will lose them and if you don't have replacements, you end up having to scour the planet trying to find a replacement that you may never find... better to have some in reserve!

Just some fatherly advice, enjoy it :-)

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The other tip, and this may sound crazy, buy a really good scissors. You will at some stage have to cut the baby out of their clothes because of a exploding nappy incident.

You don't know about why baby grows have envelope shoulders? Read this, it will change your life!!!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/the-real-reason-there-are-envelope-folds-on-a-babys-onesies?utm_term=.yeRMG236W#.twZMdOpG8

neonsofa wrote: »

If they're not wearing a baby grow/vest..

Most tops have shoulder buttons so it's the same principal.

Congrats!

Expect a cannonball of feels heading your way when you hold him/her for the first time. Pop over to the Parenting / Pregnancy boards whenever you are ready.

We had a planned and long awaited pregnancy. And even after all that, the morning I got the second line on the pee-stick I got a momentary "holyfcukwhathavewejustdone" moment.

You'll think it's the most gorgeous baby on earth, even if to everyone else they look like a cheerful potato. . You'll wing it and keep winging it until adulthood. It's awesome.

RoboRat wrote: »

Most tops have shoulder buttons so it's the same principal.

You'd be surprised how many items of baby clothing are just not practical in this way, and it's only when you have a nappy disaster that you realise the value of those poppers/folds

I used to find that the boys clothes/gender neutral stuff for babies were alot more practical and comfy/soft than the girls stuff.

As a father of 3 my own advice is to be grateful for other people's advice but do it your own way and just love them with all your heart and you'll all be fine.

Always loved this quote from Bill Murrays character in lost in translation:

"It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids. The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.Your life, as you know it… is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk… and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life."

It's a bit like the Matrix. Nobody can really tell you what having a child is like. You have to experience it for yourself.

Aside maybe from military boot camp, there is nothing in life that can prepare you for what's about to happen. There is no books you can read or sage words of advice that will make you "ready". Be satisfied that you are completely unprepared for this, and then you will find that you are completely qualified to handle it.

The only thing to keep in mind, always, is that no matter how high or low you feel, no matter how much fun you're having or how much you feel like you want to get in boat and sail away forever, that this will pass.

Sleepless nights will give way to restful nights will give way to sleepless nights. There will be worry and fear and joy and love and worry and fear and joy and love.

Treasure every moment of it, even the bad times, because very quickly it will move on and it will gone. Before you know it, you're looking at a 10 year old who's telling you to go away and leave them in peace.