Bloggers and Mental Health

retro:electro · 18-07-2017 7:57pm #1

Sorry if this is totally off topic and I'm sure it is, but Fairy went on a huge rant today on her Snapchat about body ideals and how online content can affect your mental health in a negative way. If ever I wanted to snap her something, today was the day. She 100% contributes to all that she was giving out about. She manipulates her content to something that doesn't even represent who she is. She filters and photoshops like no other blogger out there. She shows off her body and zooms in on her "progress", snap after snap.
The image she likes to portray isn't a real one when she uses filters and photoshop like nobody's business.

I feel like she spoke from the heart today and maybe this was an insight into why she does these things, but the very things she was giving out about are things she is responsible for doing and the way she feels about seeing other bodies is how she makes others feel when she presents herself as being something she is not.
I just thought it was pretty rich her crying about how social media can make you feel crap but gives no thought to how the complete misrepresentation of her body can negatively impact on her young and impressionable viewers.

laylag · 18-07-2017 8:19pm

anna080 wrote:

Sorry if this is totally off topic and I'm sure it is, but Fairy went on a huge rant today on her Snapchat about body ideals and how online content can affect your mental health in a negative way. If ever I wanted to snap her something, today was the day. She 100% contributes to all that she was giving out about. She manipulates her content to something that doesn't even represent who she is. She filters and photoshops like no other blogger out there. She shows off her body and zooms in on her "progress", snap after snap. The image she likes to portray isn't a real one when she uses filters and photoshop like nobody's business.

anna080 wrote:

I feel like she spoke from the heart today and maybe this was an insight into why she does these things, but the very things she was giving out about are things she is responsible for doing and the way she feels about seeing other bodies is how she makes others feel when she presents herself as being something she is not. I just thought it was pretty rich her crying about how social media can make you feel crap but gives no thought to how the complete misrepresentation of her body can negatively impact on her young and impressionable viewers.

I have given up Snapchat but I saw this on Instagram earlier. And her boyfriend was again throwing his 2 cents in as per usual. God almighty he is v annoying.
I totally agree Anna she is the architect of all the things she complains about!

njs030 · 18-07-2017 8:21pm

anna080 wrote: »

Sorry if this is totally off topic and I'm sure it is, but Fairy went on a huge rant today on her Snapchat about body ideals and how online content can affect your mental health in a negative way. If ever I wanted to snap her something, today was the day. She 100% contributes to all that she was giving out about. She manipulates her content to something that doesn't even represent who she is. She filters and photoshops like no other blogger out there. She shows off her body and zooms in on her "progress", snap after snap.
The image she likes to portray isn't a real one when she uses filters and photoshop like nobody's business.

I feel like she spoke from the heart today and maybe this was an insight into why she does these things, but the very things she was giving out about are things she is responsible for doing and the way she feels about seeing other bodies is how she makes others feel when she presents herself as being something she is not.
I just thought it was pretty rich her crying about how social media can make you feel crap but gives no thought to how the complete misrepresentation of her body can negatively impact on her young and impressionable viewers.

I thought EXACTLY the same thing!! The difference between a photo she puts up herself where she has photoshopped it and one taken by someone else is extreme.
On her recent holiday I was shocked to see what she really looks like in the natural photos as it's so rarely seen.
The carry on about having big boobs when she doesn't have particularly big boobs and clearly squashes them up and together so they look bigger is ridiculous. If she's that bothered why are they on show so often! Not sure if it was looking for a freebie surgery maybe?

It was so hypocritical.

Ray37 · 18-07-2017 9:15pm

I had zero sympathy for her there. As the posters above mentioned, she has done this to herself. If she photoshops herself to the point where she looks nothing like her true self, no wonder is she crying into her phone. I think maybe she is realizing she can't keep up the charade re her body and looks, in that she is totally different to how she portrays herself online. She said herself that she 'curates' her content, aka photoshops herself to hell and back. People like her are the exact reason some girls have body issues. She shows a side of herself online that is totally fake, and blocks anyone who tags here in a unedited photo (that they took at events with her). She talked about looking at other people on insta and how their body types are unrealistic for her, but never mentioned that her's in unrealistic too because it isnt real. I do think a lot of this pressure she is putting herself under is to keep the BF happy, tbh I have seen no difference in her body over the past year. I think she looks good, but it's so hard to tell if she truly does as she photoshops so much. It's actually quite sad, because she is clearly very insecure in herself.

laylag · 18-07-2017 10:48pm

casio4 wrote:

yes me too, I doubt Brian was given the megaphone as part of the job so did he have one lying around? surely health and safety would not let you carry this around shouting at people

Ray37 wrote:

I had zero sympathy for her there. As the posters above mentioned, she has done this to herself. If she photoshops herself to the point where she looks nothing like her true self, no wonder is she crying into her phone. I think maybe she is realizing she can't keep up the charade re her body and looks, in that she is totally different to how she portrays herself online. She said herself that she 'curates' her content, aka photoshops herself to hell and back. People like her are the exact reason some girls have body issues. She shows a side of herself online that is totally fake, and blocks anyone who tags here in a unedited photo (that they took at events with her). She talked about looking at other people on insta and how their body types are unrealistic for her, but never mentioned that her's in unrealistic too because it isnt real. I do think a lot of this pressure she is putting herself under is to keep the BF happy, tbh I have seen no difference in her body over the past year. I think she looks good, but it's so hard to tell if she truly does as she photoshops so much. It's actually quite sad, because she is clearly very insecure in herself.

Completely agree.
She looks fab and there's no denying she works out loads. But god if we all had that much time in the gym that is the very least I would expect someone to look like!
I am fond of her but she needs a reality check. A few comments on Instagram saying that she clearly doesn't know what real problems are if this is at the forefront of her mind. Put the phone down and take a break from it for a while if it's bothering you that much!

I have to say I find it very very strange that almost all bloggers I follow suffer from anxiety. What's the common denominator lads?!?
Or is it something that is said to gain sympathy from followers?

Ray37 · 18-07-2017 11:03pm

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't believe that some of them who claim to suffer from anxiety really do in the true sense of it as a disorder. I feel that their 'anxiety' is used to make it ok to block anyone who questions shady practices, and lack of disclosure etc. A certain blogger recently was investigated by the ASAI and it was being widely discussed on social media. She obviously read what people were saying, she had been dishonest and sneaky etc, and promptly took to snapchat crying that the 'mean' comments were affecting her mental health. It really disgusted me. People like that trying to bend a mental illness to their advantage when they are being called out for being dishonest is vile and the lowest of the low. And it's not the first time this one turns on the tears, she never admits when she's been caught for doing something unethical, and cries her way out.

retro:electro · 18-07-2017 11:05pm

I wish she'd go and sh!te with the term "curated content". Photoshopped to the hilt more like.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 19-07-2017 12:18am

I felt so sad for her because anyone who's followed her could tell she was extremely self conscious with her appearance - that is glaringly obvious and I think it was brave for her to finally acknowledge that on her social media even though she has a lot of people being extremely critical of her looks/appearance and the girl can't sneeze without having people poke fun at her online.

Yes she photoshops her photos and she wants to be Instagram perfect. I'd want my photo photoshopped too if I had hundreds of thousands of people looking at me, a huge chunk of them looking purely to find fault.

I admire her for speaking about this, telling people how she's feeling and what she's considering. I think it's unfair to expect her to be a role model for everyone else when she's struggling herself.

I don't think these shows are healthy for her but I hope she has a good support system that'll prevent her from going down a dangerous path.

I originally only followed her because of all the hate she was on the receiving end of but I admire how hard working determined and dedicated she is. SHes not without her flaws but she's clearly struggling at the moment and if talking about it on snapchat helps her in anyway, I'd rather that than read in a years time she's struggling with an eating disorder

retro:electro · 19-07-2017 12:49am

I dono Lexie. Like a part of me felt sorry for her and then the other part was like no, she is the very definition of what she is complaining about. As far as comments on her body go, the most I hear critique wise would be those exposing her for photoshop and blocking people who post unflattering pictures of her. It's clear she's very insecure about herself, like you can tell that a mile off. But she's apart of the culture that she's giving out about and she can't deny that. She trains well and seems to be doing great, but she also sets unrealistic standards and misrepresents constantly.

Maybe she's just trying to keep up with what she sees, who knows. But for her to tell us all "what you see online isn't always real", well, maybe she should take some responsibility for that.
I'm sure if she just chilled the f out and relaxed a little she'd be happier. She's striving to be perfect and when she doesn't get it she alters the reality so we think she's perfect. That's messed up.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 19-07-2017 8:10am

She is no doubt what she's complaining about but I guess this is why.

Lindy97 · 19-07-2017 8:56am

Ray37 wrote: »

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't believe that some of them who claim to suffer from anxiety really do in the true sense of it as a disorder. I feel that their 'anxiety' is used to make it ok to block anyone who questions shady practices, and lack of disclosure etc. A certain blogger recently was investigated by the ASAI and it was being widely discussed on social media. She obviously read what people were saying, she had been dishonest and sneaky etc, and promptly took to snapchat crying that the 'mean' comments were affecting her mental health. It really disgusted me. People like that trying to bend a mental illness to their advantage when they are being called out for being dishonest is vile and the lowest of the low. And it's not the first time this one turns on the tears, she never admits when she's been caught for doing something unethical, and cries her way out.

I'd never question someone's mental health so I'm not going to go there but yes, this particular one has a history of going on snapchat crying when things don't go her way or she messes up (and it's happened a fair few times since I followed her over a year ago). We're human, it happens, so own it when it does, it's not always other people's fault and this is your business, so it's not something you do for fun, you make your living this way so you have to adhere to rules and regulations and act professionally. A lot of these bloggers cannot take even the nicest or most constructive criticism, which we all have to do in our daily lives and jobs, everything is labeled as abuse and hate unless it's gushing praise. She's nearly 30 years old, and is smart enough to make a living this way so she's got to have some cop on and business sense about her.
She also manages to twist every negative into a situation where she becomes the victim, it's quite interesting actually but I do think she has an addiction to social media which I don't think is healthy especially if she has mental health problems.

She's definitely one of the worst for not declaring ads or when she's working with a brand for free stuff.

She seems like a nice enough girl which I think is why she gets away with it and flies under the radar for most.

sashafierce · 19-07-2017 11:34am

This post has been deleted.

purplecow1977 · 19-07-2017 12:04pm

Okay here's what I think:

I think many 'bloggers' are not at all bloggers anymore - ie. they don't blog. I don't consider a video of what you spend your day doing with your children informative. It's just a personal story that's more like watching Big Brother than anything valuable or sharing tips. Some of them share far too much about their children and I would never never do that to my child. This however is not isolated to bloggers/influencers as I have noticed one or two people I know doing similar on Facebook - photos of every single moment, videos etc. There was even one recently of the 4 year old singing a song while sitting in his underpants!

Regarding MUF and her recent comments about self - esteem, I have to agree with the person above who said she is one of the key orchestrators. There are no 'natural' photos posted - each photo is staged and filtered. I wasn't aware that she photoshopped any above a little filter and wonder do people have proof of this? She is tanned and groomed within an inch of her life and I really feel sorry for teenagers and women in their early 20s who are easily influenced by these images. I'm in my 30s and still feel compelled to look at these bikini and fitness images even though I am far from it. It can't be good in the longterm. I did feel somewhat sorry for her, but I do think she is partly to blame. Even the day before she had posted a 'I feel really lean' pic. I also agree with whoever said anxiety seems to be a common denominator, or is it just to tug on the heart strings?

I don't think including her BF in majority of her content is a good idea either and have suspected that there may be an ulterior motive. It is really quite surprising as she originally said she wanted to keep it private and if I remember correctly there was almost a big reveal when she finally posted a picture of him!

I'm not the biggest Just Jordan fan as she seems a bit too ditzy for me but I do appreciate that she never shows her husband on social media. Granted this is probably due to the nature of his job, but even so.

TLDR: I don't see the harm in sharing some personal details and building relationships with your followers, but if it's just a Big Brother style video of what you've spent your day doing then I don't see that as particularly valuable or informative.

I've started following Gill's science snaps and am loving learning! What a nerd!!

Lindy97 · 19-07-2017 12:11pm

purplecow1977 wrote: »

Okay here's what I think:

I think many 'bloggers' are not at all bloggers anymore - ie. they don't blog. I don't consider a video of what you spend your day doing with your children informative. It's just a personal story that's more like watching Big Brother than anything valuable or sharing tips. Some of them share far too much about their children and I would never never do that to my child. This however is not isolated to bloggers/influencers as I have noticed one or two people I know doing similar on Facebook - photos of every single moment, videos etc. There was even one recently of the 4 year old singing a song while sitting in his underpants!

TLDR: I don't see the harm in sharing some personal details and building relationships with your followers, but if it's just a Big Brother style video of what you've spent your day doing then I don't see that as particularly valuable or informative.

I agree. I think a lot get around the blogger tag and consider themselves "influencer"..I have yet to figure out what that is exactly, it seems to be an excuse for not actually doing very much, and just using snapchat and instastories mostly with the occasional blog or you tube video thrown in. A lot also use their blogs to sell stuff now, as opposed to any sort of actual writing.

If people consent to be in your stories then fine but I do think some use their kids as marketing tools, its another side to their sales pitch. Its great to see them, kids are great but they shouldn't be featured so much in my opinion, they have no say and can't consent to how much is put online for their parents followers to see.If you say this though, even from a safety perspective, you get "just unfollow". I dont think a lot of them think about the long term repercussions of putting everything online.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 19-07-2017 12:20pm

But how is she or her feelings different to "impressionable" females. She was a size 14/16 and at 5'10 that must have weighed heavy enough. In an industry where you feel like you have to be perfect, she obviously felt like that was holding her back and was very very dedicated in her diet and exercise to get her to size 8/10. She's clearly not naturally slim, she's putting herself through her paces to look the best she feels she can. But losing the weight obviously didn't make her feel that much better about herself. She's struggling with her own self esteem and her own pressures about her body while looking at others online trying to strive towards a perfection that isn't real. I think it's very unfair to put other women's insecurities onto her when she can't deal with her own. She's struggling the same way looking up to all these bikini models on Instagram but she's recognising the problem is hers. Not those she's seeking out, hers.

And for her to come out to her followers and admit that, I feel was brave. Just like I don't think he losing weight fixed her issue, I don't think her boob job or other surgery will fix it for her either. This is inside and something she needs to deal with. And women blaming her for unrealistic standards needs to set their own standards and be the best they can be rather that expecting a random personality online improve their self confidence

purplecow1977 · 19-07-2017 12:32pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

But how is she or her feelings different to "impressionable" females. She was a size 14/16 and at 5'10 that must have weighed heavy enough. In an industry where you feel like you have to be perfect, she obviously felt like that was holding her back and was very very dedicated in her diet and exercise to get her to size 8/10. She's clearly not naturally slim, she's putting herself through her paces to look the best she feels she can. But losing the weight obviously didn't make her feel that much better about herself. She's struggling with her own self esteem and her own pressures about her body while looking at others online trying to strive towards a perfection that isn't real. I think it's very unfair to put other women's insecurities onto her when she can't deal with her own. She's struggling the same way looking up to all these bikini models on Instagram but she's recognising the problem is hers. Not those she's seeking out, hers.

And for her to come out to her followers and admit that, I feel was brave. Just like I don't think he losing weight fixed her issue, I don't think her boob job or other surgery will fix it for her either. This is inside and something she needs to deal with. And women blaming her for unrealistic standards needs to set their own standards and be the best they can be rather that expecting a random personality online improve their self confidence

She was a size 14 and at 5'10 I disagree that that must have been 'heavy enough' :mad:

Perhaps she is really struggling but it is natural for followers to become suspicious when every other picture is exactly what yesterday or the day before she spoke against! Maybe this will be a realisation and wake up call for her - stop posting so many posed and edited pictures and show people reality. 'Struggling since losing the weight'??? Really? Is she? I don't recall too many struggles although I don't follow her religiously. If you know that X Y or Z is contributing to poor mental health, then why keep doing it? Part of me just feels it's for attention. She has worked hard to get where she is, don't get me wrong, but I just can't believe everything I read/see/hear (that's just me anyway, a right cynic I am!)

Instagram is actually so so negative for us and our young people. It is not healthy. Naturally we don't want to post pictures of ourselves looking like ****e but really are we doing ourselves an favours? I guess the life that the MUF has (and many other bloggers) is not a life that I feel I can relate to. I still watch occasionally but I feel someone like thebeautifultruth is someone more.....natural, or perhaps just someone that I could 'relate' to better.

Edited to add: Nobody is expecting any online persona to fix our own personal demons or confidence. To suggest so is ridiculous. However, if someone is going to behave as a role model or someone to look up to then I think that person owes it to their followers to be genuine. Boob jobs and botox pressures aren't limited to bloggers or snapchatters either - 'ordinary' people feel those pressures too. It's whether or not we feel we have to succumb to them or not or if we're happy in our own skins (or if like others, we just couldn't be arsed).

retro:electro · 19-07-2017 12:44pm

I'd have respected and understood her much more if she said something about her being guilty of misrepresenting and altering reality too, and it's not right and she's feeling the effects of it mentally and she's going to stop. But she didn't. Instead she "othered" her problem by blaming other people's accounts and pictures for making her feel bad about her body, when in reality it's more than likely her own pictures that are making herself feel bad. She's altering them to such a degree that she feels bad she doesn't look that way in reality and can't live up to what she produces or "curates" online.

silvervixen84 · 19-07-2017 1:53pm

mod note: I've moved over posts from the friends and family thread so you can continue this discussion. Please bear in mind the charter and don't let this descend into petty gossip.

purplecow1977 · 19-07-2017 1:55pm

anna080 wrote: »

I'd have respected and understood her much more if she said something about her being guilty of misrepresenting and altering reality too, and it's not right and she's feeling the effects of it mentally and she's going to stop. But she didn't. Instead she "othered" her problem by blaming other people's accounts and pictures for making her feel bad about her body, when in reality it's more than likely her own pictures that are making herself feel bad. She's altering them to such a degree that she feels bad she doesn't look that way in reality and can't live up to what she produces or "curates" online.

It's a tricky one, because I think many people post similarly edited photos, but obviously they don't have the same follower base or position as she does.

It's unknown territory and I suppose nobody has really given the whole thing much thought. I would be concerned with the number that are feeling anxious and speak about not feeling mentally well. Perhaps this is a reality of society today or perhaps they are using this as an excuse or to gain sympathy. I really don't know. While I appreciate that mental illness is becoming more common to speak about, I hope it's not being used as a scapegoat as this takes from the reality for genuine sufferers. It's a separate case but frequently with serious crimes or murders, mental health is used as an excuse or explanation for the reason for acting in such a way. I just hope that this isn't the case here.

In saying that, perhaps it is useful for some followers to believe that others, even those in positions of 'power' or success feel similarly about it and can offer comfort and encouragement.

jo2509 · 19-07-2017 2:11pm

Hello, first post in here!

It's more of a musing, really (and not intented to cause offence).
These bloggers who claim to suffer from anxiety, surely if one was suffering to that extent, the very last thing you would want to do would be broadcasting your entire life for public consumption (and criticism)?

As regards bloggers editing their photos beyond recognition... My sister lives in the UK and follows MUF on social media. She (MUF) was on Xpose one evening and i sent my sister a photo of the screen. She genuinely didn't know who it was :eek:

Sunny Dayz · 19-07-2017 2:12pm

I hope MUF looks after herself. I stopped following her a year or two ago but she does seem to work hard and give her all at whatever she does.
However I do worry a bit about the whole bodybuilding / bikini competition side of things. I've seen someone get involved in that and it's not good for your confidence or self esteem - you are constantly trying to improve yourself, there's always someone better than you, you will become obsessed with gym, workouts, food, macros, motivational playlists and quotes.

jo2509 · 19-07-2017 2:15pm

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

I've seen someone get involved in that and it's not good for your confidence or self esteem - you are constantly trying to improve yourself, there's always someone better than you, you will become obsessed with gym, workouts, food, macros, motivational playlists and quotes.

True, you literally ARE being judged on how you look on the 'outside'.

njs030 · 19-07-2017 2:23pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

But how is she or her feelings different to "impressionable" females. She was a size 14/16 and at 5'10 that must have weighed heavy enough.

Sorry, what now????

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 19-07-2017 2:25pm

notjustsweet wrote: »

Sorry, what now????

A taller person carries weight a little better than a short person? Is that not obvious? A size 14 5'10 person will no doubt be a bit heavier than a size 14 5'3 person.

njs030 · 19-07-2017 2:51pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

A taller person carries weight a little better than a short person? Is that not obvious? A size 14 5'10 person will no doubt be a bit heavier than a size 14 5'3 person.

The difference being at 5'10 a size 14 is healthy and neither she or anyone else should consider that weight as "heavy enough" whereas a woman of 5'3 would be overweight wearing size 14.

The constant focus on weight and clothes size is really unhealthy.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 19-07-2017 3:07pm

:P

notjustsweet wrote: »

The difference being at 5'10 a size 14 is healthy and neither she or anyone else should consider that weight as "heavy enough" whereas a woman of 5'3 would be overweight wearing size 14.

The constant focus on weight and clothes size is really unhealthy.

She wasn't happy at the weight or size or identifying as a plus size model. What one person may think is "healthy" still could mean that person has a much higher bMI but can carry the weight better. I think she looked good at both stages but she clearly wasn't happy, changed her lifestyle and still struggles. People are basically dismissing how she feels about herself because they're more concerned about her being a role model for younger people. Her first priority should be herself.

guideanna · 19-07-2017 3:42pm

IMO that if you have social anxiety or suffer with depression then putting yourself out there in the "blogger" world via the likes of snap chat,fb, insta etc is just asking for trouble.
People are blunt honest online, and some can be cruel.
If your going to document every inch of your life then you need to be prepared to have every inch of it commented on…good and bad!
You'd need a thick skin and it wouldn't be the job for me ESPECIALLY if i was suffering with "Mental Health Issues".

jo2509 · 19-07-2017 3:49pm

guideanna wrote: »

IMO that if you have social anxiety or suffer with depression then putting yourself out there in the "blogger" world via the likes of snap chat,fb, insta etc is just asking for trouble.
People are blunt honest online, and some can be cruel.
If your going to document every inch of your life then you need to be prepared to have every inch of it commented on…good and bad!
You'd need a thick skin and it wouldn't be the job for me ESPECIALLY if i was suffering with "Mental Health Issues".

This is what i was trying to say

The social anxiety thing is even more dubious... Suffer from social anxiety yet are able to attend events, travel, do TV/newspaper interviews etc etc.

I hate to think that anyone would feign mental health issues, but unfortunately as someone said upthread, i feel with some it is a convenient 'get out of jail card' when things don't go their way.

guideanna · 19-07-2017 4:01pm

Good point.
I'd be scarlehhh heading into those events on my own, and i do not suffer confidence or mental health problems. Maybe a bit shy at best when i'm out of my comfort zone but l'd feel like i was looking to scab freebies and be mortified then that i was clearly going to be expected to document/blog my experience about it. Agh…cringe even thinking about it.

Fair play to them all having the guts to do these things (approaching companies looking for freebies in exchange for promotions) but it does highly annoy me when i see the crocodile tears coz someone was slagging them off then for not being honest about said promotions…people will always slag you off, it's just that on social media your under the microscope for all to see

silvervixen84 · 19-07-2017 4:26pm

mod @jo2509 Please go and read the forum charter. Posters here must have a minimum of 50 posts. Don't post again until you've reached this criteria.

jo2509 · 19-07-2017 4:35pm

The irony being, i'm now less inclined to buy any of the products these bloggers/influencers shill.

I never really got too invested in any of them, might just browse their instagram if something appeared on my timeline. What really opened my eyes was a post by 'anxiety blogger' (are we allowed name names?).

Lovely heartfelt post about her Dad's cancer diagnosis and death, how time has flown since she lost him, wishing she could turn back the hands of time (with accompanying shot of a watch to illustrate the point). Then i get to the end and she tells us we can avail of her discount code to get 25 quid off said watch.
Sick.

Bloggers and Mental Health

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