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Ideal wedding from guest's perspective (Mod warning in 1st post)

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12467…11

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    #92
    SimpleDimples
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭SimpleDimples


    Likes:
    Ceremony/Meal no further than 45 minutes away from each other
    Accommodation available at the venue
    A plus one especially where I know very few of the other guests
    Simplicity - the food & music are the only things people care about
    Short speeches
    No really long gaps/weighting around durinv the day
    A late afterwood start on a Saturday

    Dislikes:
    Tacky cliches - photo booth, inflatable guitars, sweet card etc
    Rules re gifts or dress code on the invite
    Late brides
    Black tie
    Weddings abroad
    Any second day stuff
    Lenght speeches/inappropriate content
    Kids at weddings


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    #93
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    You do NOT have to have a full Mass for a Catholic marriage ceremony.

    I only discovered this having attended a wedding in UK. It was great and quick, but very dignified, about 35 minutes or so.

    There is no Communion, no bringing up of gifts and all that.

    Did anyone know this?

    If there are 150 people in the church the Communion part can take ages. Sorry don't mean to be disrespectful, but it was a lovely ceremony just the same. And it is allowed!

    I find it very odd that a priest would cut out Communion. Kind of odd having having a Catholic ceremony and not having Communion.


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    #94
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I find it very odd that a priest would cut out Communion. Kind of odd having having a Catholic ceremony and not having Communion.

    It is not up to the priest. If you just want the marriage ceremony without the Mass you can have it. It is allowed no problem.

    Handy if one of the parties is non Catholic, and you can have any music you want because you are not disrespecting the Communion bit.

    Much shorter than a Mass.

    Look up Catholic Wedding no Mass. I don't know why more people don't take this option.


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    #95
    Ann_Landers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 292 ✭✭Ann_Landers


    Malari wrote: »
    You'd have hated ours :D literally just the legal part - no candles, songs, reading or any personalisation at all. Done in 10 minutes.

    I never said I hated really short ones!


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    #96
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I think the best option for people who are not into Religion and find the mass long and boring is to only go to the reception.


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    #97
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    It is not up to the priest. If you just want the marriage ceremony without the Mass you can have it. It is allowed no problem.

    Handy if one of the parties is non Catholic, and you can have any music you want because you are not disrespecting the Communion bit.

    Much shorter than a Mass.

    Look up Catholic Wedding no Mass. I don't know why more people don't take this option.
    Of course it's up to the priest.
    Good luck finding a priest who'll leave out the mass.
    And fair enough. If couples choose a catholic ceremony, they shouldn't be so bothered by a catholic mass.


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    #98
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The only pet hate I have is if the bride insists on where everyone should be. Grown adults should be let about their day once they're at the church dressed on time.


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    #99
    Ann_Landers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 292 ✭✭Ann_Landers


    Addle wrote: »
    Of course it's up to the priest.
    Good luck finding a priest who'll leave out the mass.
    And fair enough. If couples choose a catholic ceremony, they shouldn't be so bothered by a catholic mass.

    Yeah, in theory a priest should agree to what the couple wants but many priests would say no in reality, I think. A lot of priests use wedding ceremonies to show off a bit, I've noticed. It's like they are missing the sermonising to a big crowd every week now that mass attendance is dwindling year on year so they take advantage of weddings to put on a show.


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    #100
    scarepanda
    Registered Users Posts: 3,440 ✭✭✭scarepanda


    I know of a few couples recently who were given the option of not having the mass said. Only one of those couples had one party not Catholic, the rest were.


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    #101
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    I know several couples who had the Catholic ceremony only and no mass. Priests were delighted because there's such a shortage and they can't keep up with the demands on their time so were happy to cut the length.

    My ideal wedding as a guest would be a short ceremony after 3pm in the same venue as the reception. I prefer small weddings. Reception in a good restaurant, seated by 6pm with a decent menu. I'd even be happy to pay for options from a full menu. Very short speeches. No awkward dress or gift stipulations - though I have no issues with a gift list. No expectations or requirements to stay overnight and no second day.

    I decline nearly all wedding invites because I hate the typical format so much. But I certainly wouldn't moan or complain if I chose to attend, and I think couples should just organise whatever type of day they want and not worry about anyone's opinion (obviously without mistreating guests by being rude or outright inconsiderate).


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    #102
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Addle wrote: »
    Of course it's up to the priest.
    Good luck finding a priest who'll leave out the mass.
    And fair enough. If couples choose a catholic ceremony, they shouldn't be so bothered by a catholic mass.

    Shouldn't be a problem. The priest is just the officiator, not the boss.

    The Dublin Diocesan website gives two options, one for full Mass, the other for Nuptial ceremony without the Mass.


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    #103
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I think the best option for people who are not into Religion and find the mass long and boring is to only go to the reception.

    I think the mass is long and boring but I still want to see the couple actually getting married. It's the whole point of the day.


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    #104
    fg1406
    Registered Users Posts: 433 ✭✭fg1406


    I'm voting for the wedding that has no mass bit too. It's interminable to sit through. As are speeches and bad bands.


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    #105
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    I think the mass is long and boring but I still want to see the couple actually getting married. It's the whole point of the day.

    Just in my opinion if your going down the Church route you should have the mass.


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    #106
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I find it very odd that a priest would cut out Communion. Kind of odd having having a Catholic ceremony and not having Communion.

    Not odd for our family anyway... We had the basic catholic marriage ceremony. Not a mass. No communion, it's an entirely different sacrament.

    Baptism also doesn't have communion... or, well, it doesn't for us anyway. 10 mins, wet babies head, oil, shawl, couple of prayers and out the gap.

    Edit, should note we also didn't have the church. Maybe that makes a difference, people might want to stretch it out if they have the building. We just did the short-form catholic ceremony, outdoors. Popped inside for the register.


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    #107
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    Just in my opinion if your going down the Church route you should have the mass.

    Why though? If there is the option legitimately of a marriage ceremony without a full Mass?

    I didn't intend to derail the thread, but the option is there, but is never ever mentioned in this country. Why I do not know.

    Nice religious bit, but short and to the point. What's not to like. And it is approved by the Catholic Church too.

    Anyway back to the thread topic.

    For me, the ideal would be quick ceremony, then grub soon as, and an early night.

    So lunch rather than dinner, then feck off home at 6 or 7oc or go clubbing elsewhere without the effin formula.


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    #108
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    Why though? If there is the option legitimately of a marriage ceremony without a full Mass?

    I didn't intend to derail the thread, but the option is there, but is never ever mentioned in this country. Why I do not know.

    Nice religious bit, but short and to the point. What's not to like. And it is approved by the Catholic Church too.

    I don't mean to derail the thread either.
    I just think it's strange to have a church ceremony and leave out a very important sacrament(the body of Christ) on your wedding day.


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    #109
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Addle wrote: »
    Of course it's up to the priest.
    Good luck finding a priest who'll leave out the mass.
    And fair enough. If couples choose a catholic ceremony, they shouldn't be so bothered by a catholic mass.

    The full mass is a fairly recent trend, and by no means compulsory. A couple of generations ago it was the norm to go to the church very early for the marriage rite then home for the breakfast- that's why the meal is still called a wedding breakfast.

    I think that couples who opt for the full mass do it either because it would be meaningful for them or maybe they want to get more bang for their buck, given the extra cost a church wedding usually incurs.

    The only Catholic requirements are the pre-marriage course and certain wordings of the marriage rite.


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    #110
    conndeal
    Registered Users Posts: 42 ✭conndeal


    My sister had a Catholic ceremony without the mass. Also one of our neighbours. The reason she opted for this is her husband is not Catholic and she didnt want one half of the church going to communion and the others not participating.


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    #111
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I don't mean to derail the thread either.
    I just think it's strange to have a church ceremony and leave out a very important sacrament(the body of Christ) on your wedding day.

    It is an option though isn't it? And supported by the Church who see the Marriage ceremony (Nuptial) as something outside the Mass.

    Great idea IMO.


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    #112
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    It is an option though isn't it? And supported by the Church who see the Marriage ceremony (Nuptial) as something outside the Mass.

    Great idea IMO.

    Of course it's an option!
    It's just not me.


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    #113
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    Of course it's an option!
    It's just not me.

    Fair enough so. But just to say again, the Mass is not compulsory for a marriage service in the Catholic faith.

    I don't think many realise this.


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    #114
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I don't mean to derail the thread either.
    I just think it's strange to have a church ceremony and leave out a very important sacrament(the body of Christ) on your wedding day.

    Agreed 100%, my wedding will involve a full mass absolutely no compromise would be acceptable. Of all days why would you want to take short cuts for your wedding?

    I've been to a lot of weddings, 95% were catholic and every singe one had a full mass.


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    #115
    Ann_Landers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 292 ✭✭Ann_Landers


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    Fair enough so. But just to say again, the Mass is not compulsory for a marriage service in the Catholic faith.

    I don't think many realise this.

    Thanks, I think more people need to know about this. Feckin' mass, like! Even Fathers Dougal and Jack hate it. :pac:


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    #116
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Bobby Massive Drill wrote: »
    Agreed 100%, my wedding will involve a full mass absolutely no compromise would be acceptable. Of all days why would you want to take short cuts for your wedding?

    I've been to a lot of weddings, 95% were catholic and every singe one had a full mass.

    Does your spouse to be agree? Or are you just a controlling dick. :eek:

    Yes every single one had a Mass, because I doubt they realised they could have had a significantly shorter but just as significant NUPTIAL ceremony if they wished. All approved by the Catholic Church aswell.


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    #117
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    Does your spouse to be agree?

    Yes of course.

    Maybe people don't want a shorter ceremony, I don't really know why some are falling over themselves to shorten and cut corners on one of the most important things in their lives. Surely its worth an hour or so.


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    #118
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,884 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Bobby Massive Drill wrote: »
    Yes of course, not something that would even warrant discussion.

    Maybe people don't want a shorter ceremony, I don't really know why some are falling over themselves to shorten and cut corners on one of the most important things in their lives. Surely its worth an hour or so.

    You sound delightful.

    Not everyone is religious. Some are mixed religions/no religion.

    You have to have a bit of give and take.

    Please don't ask me to marry you. You sound controlling nox. But you are no doubt gorgeous and tolerant and a lovely person. I know you are. :)


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    #119
    Ann_Landers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 292 ✭✭Ann_Landers


    Bobby Massive Drill wrote: »
    Yes of course.

    Maybe people don't want a shorter ceremony, I don't really know why some are falling over themselves to shorten and cut corners on one of the most important things in their lives. Surely its worth an hour or so.

    The important part is the exchange of vows and the signing of the register. Everything else is frou-frou. Surely you've been to christening ceremonies where it is just a short blessing? This is the same idea.


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    #120
    Boggy Turf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭Boggy Turf


    Bobby Massive Drill wrote: »
    Don't worry, most people love a good wedding and the meeting up again the next day for a BBQ. I've been to about 20 weddings in the last 3 years (18/20 traditional weddings most with 2nd nights too) and its very rarely people don't have a great time.

    Most people do not love a wedding be it over 1 or 2 days. Good weddings are few and far between. Most people pretend to enjoy weddings.


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    #121
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,216 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Ann_Landers wrote: »
    The important part is the exchange of vows and the signing of the register. Everything else is frou-frou. Surely you've been to christening ceremonies where it is just a short blessing? This is the same idea.

    All the Christenings in my area people seem to go all out.(Full mass)
    If your any bit religious and both parties are Catholic. I can't see them leaving out the mass.


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