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Tom Humphries: Guilty of child abuse

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13567…30

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    #62
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,606 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Disgusting. :mad: And to think I used to read his pieces in the IT.


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    #63
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Why did he have to block her number? I've seen girls with infatuations, I'm just saying it's possible he was weak and possibly not a monster. I think to stand up and tell the truth would be a lot harder than putting your hands up in this situation and probably do him no good.

    Look I'm with you he broke the law and he abused a position of trust, as a parent I'd like the skin him as a man though I can see the complexity of the situation.

    To stop her contacting him??

    Ive had friends of younger cousins etc contact me on facebook....i just pure ignore them/delete them if they keep it up



    What would i possibly have in common with 12 year olds....never mind exchanging 10000msgs with?


    At what point did he not stop and say to himself this is a bit weird



    ETA:similarly i seen middle aged neighbours contact a younger neighbour who was barly 17 at the time with very crude msgs....but her father put a very abrupt stop to it


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    #64
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,118 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    A 12yr old, if we keep going at this rate she'll be reincarnated by breakfast.

    No denying he was an awful idiot, your right what was he thinking. Your a man though you know what he was thinking and if he wasn't thinking that you feel sorry for the fool as he's lead away.


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    #65
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Candie wrote: »
    There are so many genuinely concerning statements in this post that it's hard to believe you're serious.

    I don't think he should rot, but he is a middle aged+ man who preyed on a child and subjected them to repeated abuse. The child didn't have to be held down and threatened at knifepoint to feel powerless in the face of this adult abusing them. It doesn't mean they weren't forced.

    Calling it a mistake made by a bored idiot is just incredibly minimizing, and really really dismissive of the life changing effects this kind of abuse can have on a victim.

    Oh, and those countries with low consent ages are mostly so that children who experiment with other children aren't criminalized for it, it's not to protect predatory adults.

    Pretty sickening stuff, really.

    I don't condone what happened at all but shouldn't you also be properly annoyed at the way Emmanuel Macron's relationship is being portrayed as a normal or even positive thing then.

    Legality doesn't change development or morality, something is right or wrong independent of that fact.

    He should be in jail but its also pretty sickening that John Peel and David Bowie also never served time in jail on the same note and are comprehensively celebrated without any hint of controversy


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    #66
    PARlance
    Registered Users Posts: 21,096 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    A 12yr old, if we keep going at this rate she'll be reincarnated by breakfast.

    No denying he was an awful idiot, your right what was he thinking. Your a man though you know what he was thinking and if he wasn't thinking that you feel sorry for the fool as he's lead away.

    I left my car open and my laptop got robbed, I felt like an "awful idiot". I think most people would describe what Tom Humpries did as being a little bit worse than an awful idiot.

    The rest of your post is just worrying if I'm reading it correctly.


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    #67
    Strazdas
    Registered Users Posts: 18,082 ✭✭✭✭Strazdas


    colm_mcm wrote: »
    Jaysus
    https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/we-must-bite-the-bullet-on-abuse-1.136280

    The article might not be as hypocritical as it sounds, given that he wrote it almost 20 years ago. It's possible that he meant what he said when he wrote it but then 'went over to the dark side' a few years later.


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    #68
    BillyBobBS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭BillyBobBS


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    No but he doesn't deserve to rot to death, he made a mistake. We call it abuse but it's perfectly legal in France and very close to it an hour from Dublin. I think calling it child abuse is a bit of a stretch, I didn't read anywhere she was forced. American Beauty springs to mind. I think he was a bored idiot. Maybe there's more that I missed.

    Wow. So much wrong with this post it's actually a bit worrying.


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    #69
    Samaris
    Registered Users Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    I'm relieved it's rare enough that people defend active child abuse that it's still horrifying to read.

    Why on earth are people defending someone who groomed and abused a young teenager? 10,000 texts isn't an "I slipped and butt-dialled her". Even if this girl "lead him on" (poor innocent adult!) by sending him the picture, the -right- thing to do would be to delete it immediately and then have a talk with her parents (or have a serious talk with her parents and then delete the photo, whatever). For her sake and for his own sake.

    It's really weird that people expect the fourteen-year-old to be the mature one, just because..what, this guy was a talented sportswriter? He chose to throw it all away, he chose to groom this girl and he chose to do it after writing seriously about the devastating effects of child abuse (even if it was two decades on, he understood it well enough then to know how wrong it was).

    I have no sympathy.


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    #70
    buck65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭buck65


    I have sympathy for Tom's family, it destroyed them and also the girl and her family. Humphreys himself went into hospital after this with a serious heart condition. Hence the delay on the case, a seriously talented writer, I loved his stuff and know a friend of his pretty well.

    No excuses though, this is a crime and he should be punished, sad case all around. A school mate of mine was groomed and preyed upon in a similar case, he also got justice but at what cost?


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    #71
    buck65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭buck65


    up for anything wrote: »
    If it were my 14/15 year old daughter he'd been grooming, he wouldn't have made it to prison and similarly if it were one of my sons at 14/15 and a middle-aged woman she wouldn't either. Kids of that age are not mature regardless of whether they think they are/were.

    Well then you would go instead right? Sure that's grand so, I believe you.


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    #72
    the lawman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,331 ✭✭✭the lawman


    Some of the posters in here should be ashamed of themselves.

    You know who you are and I hope you're deeply embarrassed.

    That human being needs to be locked up for the rest of his life and kept away from society. There isn't any 'grey' areas and we don't need to know his side of the story. Dangerous monster.

    Samaris's post above says it all.


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    #73
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,118 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    the lawman wrote: »
    Some of the posters in here should be ashamed of themselves.

    You know who you are and I hope you're deeply embarrassed.

    That human being needs to be locked up for the rest of his life and kept away from society. There isn't any 'grey' areas and we don't need to know his side of the story. Dangerous monster.

    Samaris's post above says it all.

    Outrage much?


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    #74
    the lawman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,331 ✭✭✭the lawman


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Outrage much?

    Sure. Stories like this do outrage me. They upset me and when I read people trying to defend it with no real argument, facts or common decency that too irks me.

    Good argument by the way.


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    #75
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,118 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    the lawman wrote: »
    Sure. Stories like this do outrage me. They upset me and when I read people trying to defend it with no real argument, facts or common decency that too irks me.

    Good argument by the way.

    Nobody is defending anybody but your view on what should become a man when he does something that's legal in other EU country's is scary.


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    #76
    holyhead
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,249 ✭✭✭holyhead


    That he had images of this girl is deeply disturbing even if she sent them to him. While we don't know the specifics enough happened for a charge of child abuse to be slapped against him and for which he will now serve a sentence.
    My sadness for how he has messed up his life is ultimately bested by the potential nature of his actions.
    Whilst undoubtably a brilliant journalist he has destroyed himself by his actions irrespective of the gravity or otherwise.
    Adults have an unwritten responsibility to treat not just other adults but more importantly children with respect and not to abuse a person's potential vulnerability adult or otherwise.


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    #77
    the lawman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,331 ✭✭✭the lawman


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Nobody is defending anybody but your view on what should become a man when he does something that's legal in other EU country's is scary.

    I'm not getting into an argument with you for obvious reasons.

    I've made my point. Read my first post in this thread again and that's where my interaction with you ends.


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    #78
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    A 12yr old, if we keep going at this rate she'll be reincarnated by breakfast.

    No denying he was an awful idiot, your right what was he thinking. Your a man though you know what he was thinking and if he wasn't thinking that you feel sorry for the fool as he's lead away.

    An awful idot? He's a lot more than that

    "We now know that 12 years after they were published Humphries was engaged in sexual acts with an underage girl at an apartment in Dublin.

    We also know he sexually exploited the same child by inviting her to engage or participate in a sexually explicit, indecent or obscene acts on various dates in 2010 and 2011."


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    #79
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    the lawman wrote: »
    That human being needs to be locked up for the rest of his life and kept away from society.

    :rolleyes:


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    #80
    LuckyLloyd
    Registered Users Posts: 36,156 ✭✭✭✭LuckyLloyd


    https://www.the-pool.com/news-views/opinion/2016/7/on-the-sad-inevitability-of-the-grown-man-and-the-teenage-girl

    While the law is black and white, reality is unfortunately grey. He did wrong, he should receive punishment and most importantly help and assistance (along with the two families impacted by this mess). But the baying consensus that will say 'lock him up and throw away the key - he's a MONSTER!!' see the world too simplistically. At the very least, the shock is misplaced. This stuff happens all the time.


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    #81
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    LuckyLloyd wrote: »
    This stuff happens all the time.

    Yes, and will continue judging on the "ah sure it's not all that bad" attitude of a lot of people.

    People who presumably wouldn't be overly delighted if their daughter brings the 50 year old man they intend to go out on junior cert night with to the house to meet them before heading off for the bus.


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    #82
    LuckyLloyd
    Registered Users Posts: 36,156 ✭✭✭✭LuckyLloyd


    Guy:Incognito wrote: »
    Yes, and will continue judging on the "ah sure it's not all that bad" attitude of a lot of people.

    People who presumably wouldn't be overly delighted if their daughter brings the 50 year old man they intend to go out on junior cert night with to the house to meet them before heading off for the bus.

    You misunderstand or deliberately ignore my point. It's bad - it's symptomatic of a major failing of character or life generally, and an essential abuse of power and experience. But the faux shock and outrage and depiction of the perpetrator as a monster don't really help address the problem. In order to address this, were society really interested in doing so, we'd have to start by accepting the commonplace nature of it and how societal norms are complicit in producing such couplings that society then labels as utterly abnormal.


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    #83
    Murrisk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 889 ✭✭✭Murrisk


    LuckyLloyd wrote: »
    But the faux shock and outrage and depiction of the perpetrator as a monster don't really help address the problem.

    I don't think he's a monster... and that's what makes an incidence like this so fucking chilling. Calling him a monster is too easy. That he's not a monster makes it worse, IMO.


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    #84
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    LuckyLloyd wrote: »
    You misunderstand or deliberately ignore my point. It's bad - it's symptomatic of a major failing of character or life generally, and an essential abuse of power and experience. But the faux shock and outrage and contention of the perpetrator being a monster don't really help address the problem. In order to address this, were society really interested in doing so, we'd have to start by accepting the commonplace nature of it and how societal norms are complicit in producing such couplings that society then labels as utterly abnormal.

    I didn't do either. There's is a strong line of sympathy running through this thread for humphries and give the impression that only for how strongly society goes against this type of stuff that it would be veer even more towards excusing him.

    You can be fairly sure people hold back on how much they defend things when there's even a slight risk their views could be known to their family and friends.

    I'm sure it works equally in the other direction too but if it's a choice between villifying him or passing what he did off as the poor man making a mistake then I'll go with the former.


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    #85
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Guy:Incognito wrote: »
    There's is a strong line of sympathy running through this thread for humphries...

    It's not sympathy..... it's perspective. Something which generally goes out the window in such cases.

    If we throw away the key and let Tom Humphries rot, then what sentence should we give the likes of Ian Huntley? The same one?


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    #86
    LuckyLloyd
    Registered Users Posts: 36,156 ✭✭✭✭LuckyLloyd


    Guy:Incognito wrote: »
    I didn't do either. There's is a strong line of sympathy running through this thread for humphries and give the impression that only for how strongly society goes against this type of stuff that it would be veer even more towards excusing him.

    You can be fairly sure people hold back on how much they defend things when there's even a slight risk their views could be known to their family and friends.

    I'm sure it works equally in the other direction too but if it's a choice between villifying him or passing what he did off as the poor man making a mistake then I'll go with the former.

    Okay understood - but either way we're not really discussing the issue, the causes or the potential remedies. It's a blaaaaahhhh of noise, the same noise that comes up every time cases like these make the national media. And they keep making the national media decade after decade after decade, which is proof positive that the noise isn't solving any issues.


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    #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't know the specific details of the case and but I'm not saying what age is right or wrong but it's certainly interesting to see the large variance in age of consent across Europe. There are provisions in some countries if there is a situation of influence (e.g. as could be argued in the case of Humphries) where the age is raised. e.g. from 14 to 16 if position of influence.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe
    Age Countries (links are to sections on this page)
    14 Albania, Andorra, Austria, Bulgaria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Estonia, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Liechtenstein, Macedonia, Montenegro, Portugal, San Marino, Serbia
    15 Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, France, Greece, Iceland, Monaco, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden
    16 Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Belgium, Finland, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Moldova, Netherlands, Northern Cyprus, Norway, Russia, Spain, Switzerland, Ukraine, United Kingdom
    17 Cyprus, Ireland
    18 Malta, Turkey, Vatican City


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    #88
    Arghus
    Registered Users Posts: 14,360 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    It's not sympathy..... it's perspective. Something which generally goes out the window in such cases.

    If we throw away the key and let Tom Humphries rot, then what sentence should we give the likes of Ian Huntley? The same one?

    Humphries won't get anything near the severity of sentencing that Huntley got - what Humphries did was detestable, but the two cases aren't in the same league. He'll serve a few years in all likelihood.


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    #89
    Murrisk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 889 ✭✭✭Murrisk


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I don't think you can say that about all teens though. I was very mature for my age and actually was sexually active before the age of consent with my boyfriend who was over the age of consent.

    Eviltwin, I mean this in the best possible way; a lot of 14 year olds think they are really mature. I know I thought I was at 14, mature enough in fact to know that I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend. But that wasn't really me being mature, just an apprehensive little girl. Now, I don't know you and you very well may have been a mature 14 year old and you are looking back on that time clear-eyed. But most 14 year olds are not mature and their protestations of such make it even less convincing.


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    #90
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    Age of consents should come with limitatons (and I'm sure many do) . They are there to protect the likes of someone who has just turned 15 or 16 while with their 14 year old gf/bf, not to allow predatory middle aged men and women to engage in sexual acts with the same 14 year old kid.


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    #91
    twill
    Registered Users Posts: 587 ✭✭✭twill


    I'm just wondering why perspective and consideration of the age of consent in other countries are being mooted in a case where someone decades older was convicted of grooming the victim? Are there no more appropriate cases for logic and reason to prevail than someone who was legally deemed to be a predator?


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