Men of boards, what innocent behaviors have you changed out of fear?

wakka12 · 18-06-2017 03:09PM

anna080 wrote: »

My boyfriend was telling me about a time he was outside working on his car and the neighbours two 6 year old nieces came over. They were asking him questions and asking could they sit in his car and would he bring them to the shop.
He said he felt like a creep for even talking to them and as a male, society has made you feel so paranoid about even speaking to children alone. He said he'd have loved nothing more than to have gone inside and gotten the two girls an ice pop and had a laugh with them but he just felt odd and told them they should probably go home and he felt ashamed about that.

that is sad

it could have really easily been seen in the wrong light though, I think he did the best thing in that scenario..and I would have done the exact same

18-06-2017 03:10PM

silverharp wrote: »

I remember a boss saying to way back that he never had a closed door meeting with a woman so I tend to follow that.

This sort of nonsense annoys me beyond belief, it wouldn't even dawn on me not to have a closed sooner meeting with a woman. I do it and will continue to do it. what about discussing sensitive information, or what about the noise of your conversation annoying other work mates or what if the woman doesn't take kindly to be treated differently. Honestly stuff like this makes me worry for humanity.

Permabear · 18-06-2017 03:14PM

This post has been deleted.

B0jangles · 18-06-2017 03:37PM

Hang on, are you guys actually getting all upset and angry over Jack's imaginary thread that was imaginarily overrun with with imaginary identity politicians?

The

mind

boggles.

Ficheall · 18-06-2017 03:43PM

Taylor365 wrote: »

Like every jogger running up behind you is going to automatically murder you

'The body was "discovered" in the woods this morning by a jogger..."

Sleeper12 · 18-06-2017 03:47PM

Talking to small children unless I'm with my wife. Sadly there is the suspicion that all men are paedophiles

Murrisk · 18-06-2017 03:49PM

B0jangles wrote: »

Hang on, are you guys actually getting all upset and angry over Jack's imaginary thread that was imaginarily overrun with with imaginary identity politicians?

The

mind

boggles.

I know, very odd. Taking martyrdom to a new level.

One eyed Jack · 18-06-2017 03:51PM

B0jangles wrote: »

Hang on, are you guys actually getting all upset and angry over Jack's imaginary thread that was imaginarily overrun with with imaginary identity politicians?

The

mind

boggles.

I should explain. This was the thread title -

"Men of boards, what innocent behaviors have you changed out of fear?"

So, I thought to start a thread, but I changed my mind based on the fear that it would go tits up!

I don't think that fear is completely irrational given how any sniff of a gender related thread often goes in AH - it goes bad, quickly, even if started with the best of intentions.

My post wasn't a swipe at either gender, it was an opinion based on experience of how these threads tend to go.

wonderfullife · 18-06-2017 03:59PM

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Talking to small children unless I'm with my wife. Sadly there is the suspicion that all men are paedophiles

I saw 2 kids in a car on their own in ALDI car park (parked in the sun), I'd say they were maybe 6 and 3 and they were banging on the windows. So I hovered for about 60 seconds to make sure they were ok and just as I was about to go into ALDI to get them to make an announcement, their mam came walking towards the car with a full trolley and ate the face off me, told me to get the F away from her car/kids before she'd call the Guards.

I suppose I can see her point of view but what am I supposed to do with 2 children whacking on a car window in 24 degree heat, just ignore it and carry on?

bee06 · 18-06-2017 04:14PM

wonderfullife wrote: »

I saw 2 kids in a car on their own in ALDI car park (parked in the sun), I'd say they were maybe 6 and 3 and they were banging on the windows. So I hovered for about 60 seconds to make sure they were ok and just as I was about to go into ALDI to get them to make an announcement, their mam came walking towards the car with a full trolley and ate the face off me, told me to get the F away from her car/kids before she'd call the Guards.

I suppose I can see her point of view but what am I supposed to do with 2 children whacking on a car window in 24 degree heat, just ignore it and carry on?

You should have called the guards on her for endangering her children.

Irish Guitarist · 18-06-2017 04:20PM

I carry a camera and take photos if I see something nice. Last year I was taking a walk around the countryside and stopped to take a picture of some hills. A woman came out of a farmhouse and kept saying "hello". She then asked what I was photographing. I told her I was taking photos of some hills. She said "I saw you taking a picture of my house". She asked to see the photo I had just taken and like an idiot I showed her. The side of the house was in the photo and she told me to delete it. I said "yeah" and kept walking. She then told me to let her see me deleting it. I kept walking and she told me she was going to call the guards. I said "what for? taking photos on a public footpath?". She kept shouting at me and I told her to fuck off. I then told her to call the guards and see if I gave a fuck.

Now I'm more careful about taking photos near anyones property.

Murrisk · 18-06-2017 04:27PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I should explain. This was the thread title -

"Men of boards, what innocent behaviors have you changed out of fear?"

So, I thought to start a thread, but I changed my mind based on the fear that it would go tits up!

I don't think that fear is completely irrational given how any sniff of a gender related thread often goes in AH - it goes bad, quickly, even if started with the best of intentions.

My post wasn't a swipe at either gender, it was an opinion based on experience of how these threads tend to go.

Everyone in this fair land knows there's a day for each parent. Anyone who whinges about a Father's Day thread would get short shrift, I imagine and hope.

Carlos Orange · 18-06-2017 07:10PM

Decided not to become a youtube star after listening to the first few minutes of this video today.
Not worth the risk of being a bus pedo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83-AISibMZ8

Actually it wasn't really on the cards anyway and everything ends well for him but it still seems apropos.

Galwayguy35 · 18-06-2017 07:41PM

Was going to work one Monday morning and 2 young ones that were obviously out from the night before were thumbing for a lift, years ago I'd have stopped as it was a cold morning but no way would I do it now.

griffin100 · 18-06-2017 08:05PM

I live in a very rural area and I was driving to work very early one morning when I came across a small boy about 3-4 chasing a feckin balloon down the road. I stopped the car, caught the balloon and gave it to the kid. I asked him where he lived and he pointed back up the road. Now what I should have done was stick him in the car, drive him home and knock on the door to tell his folks he'd escaped.......but there was no way I was getting a small kid in his PJ's to get into my car or knock on his door and get his parents out of bed. What I did was get him to walk in front of my car, watched him go into his house and close the door behind him, and I drove on. I'd say his parents never knew he was outside at all.

zig · 18-06-2017 11:44PM

wonderfullife wrote: »

I saw 2 kids in a car on their own in ALDI car park (parked in the sun), I'd say they were maybe 6 and 3 and they were banging on the windows. So I hovered for about 60 seconds to make sure they were ok and just as I was about to go into ALDI to get them to make an announcement, their mam came walking towards the car with a full trolley and ate the face off me, told me to get the F away from her car/kids before she'd call the Guards.

I suppose I can see her point of view but what am I supposed to do with 2 children whacking on a car window in 24 degree heat, just ignore it and carry on?

Fair play you did the right thing, after that story in Tiipperary recently a sight like that would freak me out

Resist ZOG · 18-06-2017 11:48PM

I haven't changed anything. I'm certainly not going to ignore a child in distress, what kind of man would do that?

bnt · 19-06-2017 09:49AM

Resist ZOG wrote: »

I haven't changed anything. I'm certainly not going to ignore a child in distress, what kind of man would do that?

Well, no, that's not the point. About 20 years ago now, in London, I saw a kid who looked lost, and he started following me across the road. I must have looked a bit like his father or something. We're halfway across the road, he grabs my hand and starts crying. So - no ambiguity there, obviously lost. I had seen the direction he came from, so we walked back that way, to the biggest shops. he cheered up when he recognised the area, and then he saw his dad and ran to him. I didn't even have to talk to the dad, just a wave.

Sky King · 19-06-2017 03:56PM

I thought the terms 'women' and 'ladies' were interchangeable but apparently they're not.

There are golfers in my family so I heard a lot of 'ladies day' and the 'lady captain' etc etc growing up and I myself am not remotely sporty so I thought it would be normal to refer to 'ladies rugby' in a conversation but apparently this offends some people for some fking reason?

bee06 · 19-06-2017 04:00PM

Sky King wrote: »

I thought the terms 'women' and 'ladies' were interchangeable but apparently they're not.

There are golfers in my family so I heard a lot of 'ladies day' and the 'lady captain' etc etc growing up and I myself am not remotely sporty so I thought it would be normal to refer to 'ladies rugby' in a conversation but apparently this offends some people for some fking reason?

I think lady is seen as kind of an old fashioned word or could be interpreted as the person being old. Like if someone called me a lady in a shop or something (and it had happened) I'd feel like I was ancient. It's a bit much to be actually offended by it though.

Carlos Orange · 19-06-2017 04:26PM

bee06 wrote: »

I think lady is seen as kind of an old fashioned word or could be interpreted as the person being old. Like if someone called me a lady in a shop or something (and it had happened) I'd feel like I was ancient. It's a bit much to be actually offended by it though.

Maybe that is part of it but I expect a lot of it is just cargo cult offendedness.
Kinda like the way people are offended by the word female being used and replacing it with woman e.g woman journalist instead of female journalist. I think originally people were offended by female being used as a noun which makes sense but now it is being objected to as an adjective and people are trying to shoe horn woman in as an adjective which sounds terrible to me. People are perceiving female as offensive outside of the usage it was originally considered offensive.

Permabear · 19-06-2017 04:37PM

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DEFTLEFTHAND · 19-06-2017 05:08PM

Imallrightjack wrote: »

Helping a kid you don't know that has fallen and hurt himself In the playground.jesus its awful i will do it but you think twice about doing it.just in case.its complete paranoia which i totally blame the media for.

This.

A kid hopped himself in front of me on the street over the weekend. The mother was up ahead. I had to really think twice about helping him up which is really awful. Thankfully the mother said thank you and scolded him for being a klutz.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 19-06-2017 05:39PM

bee06 wrote: »

Interesting topic. As a woman, it would never occur to me that a man walking behind me was following me unless it was late at night and there weren't many other people around either. Seems a bit egotistical to assume every man in an everyday situation has some kind of nefarious intention when we are walking the same way.

Well I appreciate the gesture tbh. I've been followed in the past and I also just have a basic awareness of my surroundings and personal safety, most adults do. I don't assume a man is going to attack me, but I am aware of the possibility and my surroundings will influence how much attention I put into it., If someone does something to make it clear they're not a threat it's not a bloody blow to the ego like "oh no he didn't think I was hot enough to attack!", it's "good all fine, nice man".

Doltanian · 19-06-2017 05:45PM

I do everything manly because I am a man, I'm not some self emasculated pro-feminist cuck beta type.

I actually go out of my way now to do and say things which offend precious snowflakes.

bee06 · 19-06-2017 05:50PM

Madeline Handsome Ump wrote: »

Well I appreciate the gesture tbh. I've been followed in the past and I also just have a basic awareness of my surroundings and personal safety, most adults do. I don't assume a man is going to attack me, but I am aware of the possibility and my surroundings will influence how much attention I put into it., If someone does something to make it clear they're not a threat it's not a bloody blow to the ego like "oh no he didn't think I was hot enough to attack!", it's "good all fine, nice man".

I didn't mean anything to do with hotness or lack of it by my egotistical statement. More around the statistical probability that I would be attacked etc.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 19-06-2017 05:57PM

bee06 wrote: »

I didn't mean anything to do with hotness or lack of it by my egotistical statement. More around the statistical probability that I would be attacked etc.

I don't follow. What does ego have to do with that?

It's very unlikely that I'd be the victim of a random attack yes, but it does happen and being aware of these things makes it less likely. When I was followed before if I'd been zoned out it could have ended very differently. There's nothing egotistical about it.

Permabear · 19-06-2017 06:00PM

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Steve012 · 19-06-2017 06:08PM

biko wrote: »

It's fine if you wanna read reddit, we wont judge.
But do you have to bring that crap over here too?

What's next, buzzfeed lists?

Everyone lurves a smart ar*e, the , the man is asking a genuine question.

To the OP, Im 6.3 and stocky, I treat everyone the same, men women kids.
Release the fear of what other people think (trying to read into what other people think is a waste of time dude, its only negative thoughts. No need! be proud of your height, walk tall! Women see a man of that stature more as a protector than a threat, (compared to heroin addicts and the like)

Peace out and f*ck what other people think, wasted energy.

jmayo · 19-06-2017 06:13PM

wonderfullife wrote: »

I saw 2 kids in a car on their own in ALDI car park (parked in the sun), I'd say they were maybe 6 and 3 and they were banging on the windows. So I hovered for about 60 seconds to make sure they were ok and just as I was about to go into ALDI to get them to make an announcement, their mam came walking towards the car with a full trolley and ate the face off me, told me to get the F away from her car/kids before she'd call the Guards.

I suppose I can see her point of view but what am I supposed to do with 2 children whacking on a car window in 24 degree heat, just ignore it and carry on?

You actually should have said that it was you that was about to call the guards and social services because she had abandoned her children in a car on a sweltering hot day.

And tell her Aldi's cctv footage would show how exactly long she had abandoned the kids in the car.

And remind her exactly how the authorities would view her after what happened the child in Tipperary.

Men of boards, what innocent behaviors have you changed out of fear?

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