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    #3212
    Garrett81
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭Garrett81


    I also really enjoy this forum and getting a privileged glimpse in to people's lives. I also struggled for many years with alcohol and most of the time being off it was so much harder than being on it. Alcohol for me was one big distraction, I couldn't sit down for one second and when in early recovery I spent every waking second trying to occupy my mind and my body with activities. It certainly helps but somewhere along the way realised that what I needed to do was to sit down and stay still, but I found it so hard. I began experiencing with different types of meditation and still practise daily. Today it's hard to get me to be busy at anything. I take it nice and slow and do one thing at a time, my wife who has been through it all with me has said she barley recognises me form the person I was. Vipassana meditation and mindfulness has transformed this alcoholhics and drug addicts life, and I would highly recommend it to anyone struggling to sit down.


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    #3213
    chillin117
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 736 ✭✭✭chillin117


    Hi Op Here. I am grand and was feeling a bit sorry for myself when I posted
    Back up and running,well walking. As my mam used to say about avoidable failures..''Learn, And only look back with a peaceful regret.''
    Kinda makes sense, Thanks


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    #3214
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,417 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    Just over two weeks for me. Sick and Tired of hangovers/wasted time and wasted money, am seriously giving thought to giving it up for a longer spell, maybe until the autumn. One day at a time as they say!


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    #3215
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Walked in to a pub earlier today and three to four very good friends were there on day 2 of a wedding. Hadn't seen them in ages. For a split secon I thought about a drink but that was it. Anxiety is a big thing for me but I had a couple if xanax in me and was relaxed as anything.Asked how I was off it, lots of shaking of hands etc I'm.in contact just haven't seen them. Had the craic. For me that was a big step.

    Normally I'd be the one up first to see who's going for more drink ha

    Hope everyone is well and if your only starting out as above stick with it. I still have bad days but it's not because of drink. I drank to.get away from them feelings which is a vicious circle. Although I am on meds and may need to see a psychiatrist it's still a million times better than if I was drinking :)


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    #3216
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    chillin117 wrote: »
    Hi Op Here. I am grand and was feeling a bit sorry for myself when I posted
    Back up and running,well walking. As my mam used to say about avoidable failures..''Learn, And only look back with a peaceful regret.''
    Kinda makes sense, Thanks

    There is a saying in here 'roll the tape forward' if you think of drinking, I've found it's helpful to roll it back then forward


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    #3217
    Chopinlist66
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Chopinlist66


    Guys, I made a mess of it again.
    After 5 nights clean, I drank 6 glasses wine. Had a dreadful head this morning, was very belligerent.
    Going away for a few days holiday tomorrow. My mum will be coming with us, and won't drink in her company.
    I feel so bad, I have decided to go for some counselling, as have had many issues to deal with, and obviously not dealing with them them very well. Pete.. roll the tape forward... why didn't I do that? Would not have been in that mess again.
    Hate myself when I do this. So many regrets, the guilt is overwhelming but I am so fortunate to have such a very loving and understanding family. I feel I don't deserve them.


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    #3218
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Chopinlist66 wrote: »
    Guys, I made a mess of it again.
    After 5 nights clean, I drank 6 glasses wine. Had a dreadful head this morning, was very belligerent.
    Going away for a few days holiday tomorrow. My mum will be coming with us, and won't drink in her company.
    I feel so bad, I have decided to go for some counselling, as have had many issues to deal with, and obviously not dealing with them them very well. Pete.. roll the tape forward... why didn't I do that? Would not have been in that mess again.
    Hate myself when I do this. So many regrets, the guilt is overwhelming but I am so fortunate to have such a very loving and understanding family. I feel I don't deserve them.

    Don't beat yoursel up to much. When I drank after 4 months I thought the exact same things, why didn't I think back. I didn't as my thoughts were overwhelmed. Counselling is great. I went for about a year. Try and get someone that specialises in addiction also!


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    #3219
    Chopinlist66
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Chopinlist66


    Thanks Pete..
    I notice all the people here are really good souls looking out for one another.
    Have some librium, going to walk a lot by the sea, need to nourish my soul, detox spiritually, but not a holy Joe either.
    Have been working with some toxic individuals.. it rubs off.


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    #3220
    Fei30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭Fei30


    Starting on my journey today and I'm determined to knock it on the head.. Sick of drinking and the associated social smoking. Sick of the fear every weekend .
    My drinking has progressively worse over the last year. It's become a crutch to try and get me through difficulties but as anyone will tell you it increases the pain
    I need and want to stop.....and smell the roses


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    #3221
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Chopinlist66 wrote: »
    Thanks Pete..
    I notice all the people here are really good souls looking out for one another.
    Have some librium, going to walk a lot by the sea, need to nourish my soul, detox spiritually, but not a holy Joe either.
    Have been working with some toxic individuals.. it rubs off.

    Everyone here has gone through or is going through similar. No judgements or anything like that. It's one of the things I remember from AA, people from all walks of life all with something in common. My advice and this is solely from personal experience is to try everything. Try AA. Try counselling. Talk here, talk to friends, pm me and you can talk to me anytime.

    I moved home and went to counselling, I'm also on meds but I'm a firm believer in whatever works for you, do it.

    :)


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    #3222
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Fei30 wrote: »
    Starting on my journey today and I'm determined to knock it on the head.. Sick of drinking and the associated social smoking. Sick of the fear every weekend .
    My drinking has progressively worse over the last year. It's become a crutch to try and get me through difficulties but as anyone will tell you it increases the pain
    I need and want to stop.....and smell the roses

    Best of luck. I used it as a crutch for years. It's a vicious circle. Feel like crap? I'll have a few beers...and the rest. That's better, feel okay now. Wake up feeling worse. What can I do? Few beers will sort that.

    You won't know yourself after a few weeks :)


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    #3223
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    I've taken to not referring to myself as an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic.

    I just don't drink. I know I have a serious issue with it but I think that referring to myself as that is a way of keeping me in the past if that makes any sense.

    I think it's a negative way of thinking but that's just my opinion.

    As someone said there is a great bunch of people in here and I know I've had a difference of opinion with some but even at that everyone is trying to help everyone else regardless of the method.

    Happy Sunday :)


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    #3224
    S4albarn
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭S4albarn


    Had a fairly boring Sunday morning. Went round to get a roll from the shop and watched a bit of TV. But it sure beat waking up with a pounding headache, dry heaving over a toilet or having to trek home in a state from a randomer's gaf :D.


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    #3225
    lufties
    Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    S4albarn wrote: »
    Had a fairly boring Sunday morning. Went round to get a roll from the shop and watched a bit of TV. But it sure beat waking up with a pounding headache, dry heaving over a toilet or having to trek home in a state from a randomer's gaf :D.

    After a while, you wont even think about drinking


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    #3226
    Irish_rat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,555 ✭✭✭Irish_rat


    I've slipped up a few times in the last month, today is the start of a new chapter without drinking. :)


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    #3227
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    lufties wrote: »
    Hubba, well done! As a single man, I like to go travelling to different countries. How do you avoid drinking on weekends (or longer) away, when your out of your comfort zone with a greater tendency to drink.

    Im 3 months in thereabouts. Im kinda scared to socislise or travel because of the temotation or fear of boredom/loneliness

    Hi Lufties,

    After just 4 months off it I had to go to a wedding abroad and on my own. Nightmare situation but I managed it. I hate weddings and had never travelled alone either and I definitely had never been sober at a wedding! I guess I had just prepared well. I had lists in my head about why I was giving it up which I repeated to myself regularly and this kept me strong. I kept busy and quickly distracted myself when my thoughts turned to having a drink. I used to drink when anxious which I was most of the time so managing my anxiety was important. But if you still feel vulnerable to temptation I would advise you to avoid the tempting situation for now and spend more time reading up on strategies to help. Question whether you 'need' to go to certain social events and definitely avoid your previous drinking buddies. Sobriety can be a lonely place but you have to just keep telling yourself you are doing this for you, because you are worth it and things will eventually fall into place.

    Best of luck and stay strong!


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    #3228
    Snooki
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Snooki


    Love reading your posts Flying Mouse


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    #3229
    S4albarn
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭S4albarn


    hubba wrote: »
    Hi Lufties,

    After just 4 months off it I had to go to a wedding abroad and on my own. Nightmare situation but I managed it. I hate weddings and had never travelled alone either and I definitely had never been sober at a wedding! I guess I had just prepared well. I had lists in my head about why I was giving it up which I repeated to myself regularly and this kept me strong. I kept busy and quickly distracted myself when my thoughts turned to having a drink. I used to drink when anxious which I was most of the time so managing my anxiety was important. But if you still feel vulnerable to temptation I would advise you to avoid the tempting situation for now and spend more time reading up on strategies to help. Question whether you 'need' to go to certain social events and definitely avoid your previous drinking buddies. Sobriety can be a lonely place but you have to just keep telling yourself you are doing this for you, because you are worth it and things will eventually fall into place.

    Best of luck and stay strong!

    Fair play getting through that. A wedding abroad alone is probably one of the toughest situations I can think of.


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    #3230
    bikubesong
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭bikubesong


    259 days here :) It's nice to have to look up online 'how long since...', rather than counting up the single digits on my fingers... When I was at 3 days, 12 days, 30 days, etc I could never have imagined myself getting to the point that I'm at now. It sounds so facile and cheap, but to anyone here struggling through those early days, it absolutely gets better. The difference in my mental health, attitude, circumstances is incomparable.


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    #3231
    Fingers Mcginty
    Registered Users Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    Lads I'm sorry to say i fell off again. I'm on a very black square on the chess board of life at at the moment. Had a really tough week in a new job last week. Overwhelmed and overthinking everything. It's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel atm and I'm counting down the hours before I go in again tomorrow morning. Don't know why I'm typing this up but it help somewhat. :(


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    #3232
    tinpib
    Registered Users Posts: 4,481 ✭✭✭tinpib


    Try not to beat yourself up too much Fingers and start again. You always seem to read that sobriety gets easier with time, I've posted elsewhere that that wasn't exactly true for me, sobriety got easier for me the more times I tried it.

    Good luck.


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    #3233
    lufties
    Registered Users Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    Went to the pub yesterday with a buddy of mine to watch the soccer, drank AF beer and H20, interestingly we got on great without booze..conversation was good and no awkwardness.
    I was delighted with this because I was worried about socialising (or not being able to), since I began my AF journey :)


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    #3234
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    lufties wrote: »
    After a while, you wont even think about drinking

    This. This. This. In case there is a me-type person floating around this forum wondering how could they fill the space left by the absence of alcohol and whether they'll miss it (as I was here for ages before I gave up 1264 days ago today), the answer is easy: the longer you're away from alcohol the more insignificant it becomes to the extent that you don't feel deprived in the slightest by not drinking. Alcohol may be a big deal now, but look at all the other phases you've gone through in life where things and people had a bigger presence than they do now. Get perspective on life.

    Change your usual haunts and drink-related routines and get busy, chislers! Changing my environment was, for me anyway, absolutely essential. Now, if I were so minded, I could go to the pub without any temptation at all. At the start, however, I had to stay well away from it all until I became stronger - even as recently as 18 months ago I struggled in a drinking environment. The whole romanticising alcohol and associating it with all sorts of positive (how ironic!) things is so, for me anyway, from another lifetime. Nothing like a ridiculously cute newborn baby to pull the heart strings and a ridiculously demanding and cute (in that order!) 2-year-old to keep you on your toes 24-7.
    Today, never mind alcohol; I'd love to have a full night's sleep and a lie on in the morning without some giggling baby getting fun out of waking me up at some ungodly hour. There's no 'me' time and, perhaps it's counterintuitive in these days of mindfulness, but maybe it's a good thing that being busy has replaced that lethal combination of free time and spare money that led to too much drinking. Life moves on, and life is much more fulfilling and exciting when you move on with it.


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    #3235
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Don't call grown adults "chislers" and maybe they'll at least read your speel of tripe. F*ck sake. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


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    #3236
    Irish_rat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,555 ✭✭✭Irish_rat


    Back off the drink wagon for a long time again, went on a few nice walks lately with the good weather, very hard to stay focused with no college to keep me occupied.

    2 weeks sober


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    #3237
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Lady is a tramp wrote: »
    Don't call grown adults "chislers" and maybe they'll at least read your speel [sic] of tripe. F*ck sake. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

    Tripe? Have you read your posts lately? The relentless, sympathy-seeking cop-out spiel of 'poor me and my mental illnesses'/ 'Why can't I get a man' tripe does not give you a free pass from basic manners. Next time you think about initiating an attack on a well-meaning poster, perhaps you could have the integrity and decency to direct your frustrations and anger with life at the right target.


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    #3238
    munster87
    Registered Users Posts: 4,243 ✭✭✭munster87


    Deep breaths guys


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    #3239
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    petes wrote: »
    Everyone here has gone through or is going through similar. No judgements or anything like that. It's one of the things I remember from AA, people from all walks of life all with something in common. My advice and this is solely from personal experience is to try everything. Try AA. Try counselling. Talk here, talk to friends, pm me and you can talk to me anytime.

    I moved home and went to counselling, I'm also on meds but I'm a firm believer in whatever works for you, do it.

    :)


    I'm always delighted to see your progress Petes, you've come a long way and we all got to see it play out in real time: amazing :)

    We are indeed on different tracks, as everyone knows I am an AA member through and through, but bottom line with this illness is it continues to kill far too many of us, and I am not even including the % who hurt others, or are in prison.
    I don't care how anyone with a serious drinking problem finds permanent sobriety--I just pray they find it before it's too late.


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    #3240
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Deleted User wrote: »
    This. This. This. In case there is a me-type person floating around this forum wondering how could they fill the space left by the absence of alcohol and whether they'll miss it (as I was here for ages before I gave up

    Happy to hear such a great update on your journey too Anamcheasta, sounds like you have created a beautiful life in sobriety. Long may it last :-)


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    #3241
    scriba
    Registered Users Posts: 875 ✭✭✭scriba


    Day 275 done and dusted.


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