Parents paying/contributing to daughters wedding??

My sons out of luck. It'll be him paying for my funeral… or throwing my dead body into a ditch. What ever I'll be dead.

Marrage is a dying institution, or at least it is in my family if the little Nuts expect me to pay for it.

It was probably more necessary in the past when women were basically treated like property in a marriage but I don't think its standard anymore, especially with the demands modern brides make.

I think that tradition went out with the Indians. When both my sisters got married my mother had the same freak out, but my sisters assured her they didn't want her helping out and they'd be doing it their way themselves. My mam gave a generous cash gift as a present. I'm engaged myself now and wouldn't dream of having either my mam or my partners parents help us out. We'll do what we can afford.

It's the country folk tradition the bride's parents usually chip in or pay for it all . I've relatives who are mostly female and they're parents have contributed to each of their weddings etc . It's generally the poor farmers who do it.

It seems completely outdated to the generation(s) getting married now, but my dad definitely wondered if he'd be expected to pay at least a considerable portion. I was appalled that he'd even think that!

But then the last wedding he had very close experience of was probably his own. He had asked a couple of his friends in their 60s and 70s and they HAD paid for their daughters' weddings so I guess that's where he got that idea.

My parents did give us a generous gift, which was actually very unexpected, and came after we had budgeted and paid for everything ourselves, so I don't think of it as paying for the wedding. We purchased something for our house with the money.

It's still done but no where near as much as before. A lot of parents would give their child a fair amount of money as a gift.
However a massive difference between weddings now and in the past. When the brides parents paid for everything is weddings today cost a lot more money.
In the past people got a plain enough invitation. Today people pay large amounts of money for handmade invitations, plus now theirs save the dates as well. They ceremony booklet and menu for the meal can also be hand made.
Bridal parties also tend to be a lot larger. So more dresses/shoes have to bought. Bridesmaids also tend to be more demanding about what they will wear.
Brides dress Brides seem to be a lot more fussy now a days in the past and finding the dress can take months before people went to shops nearby and got one.
Stags/Hens weren't as popular and were generally just people meeting for a few drinks. Their weren't big trips away.
Flowers. Theirs a lot more flowers in the church and reception venue now compared to before and everything to matching.
Reception: The meal in the past tended to to be a simple meal and that that was it. Everyone got their dinner and that was it now theirs five and six courses and theirs prosecco on arrival and candy carts and photo booths. The cake used generally be a few iced fruit cakes made by somebody not several different types of cakes with special figures on top.
Their just seem to be do much more expensive now a days.

PandaPoo wrote: »

I think a big thing now is if the parents contribute some of them think they have a say in organising it!! I've heard from friends that they're parents helped them out with the cost and then said 'Oh I know you're at the guest limit but you have to invite your 2nd cousin and his family, and the neighbours, and your dad's brothers sons girlfriend etc'

That was always the way if the parents' hosted the wedding. He who pays the piper calls the tune.

messy tessy wrote: »

But college is completely different isn't It? You are comparing parents paying for something on average for a 17/18 year old with that of a 30 year old.

My parents put me through college as I literally did not have the money. Would not expect them to pay or even contribute to a wedding, and wouldn't accept the money if they offered.

A lot of women tended to get married younger in the past and stay at home and mind the children. So, college expenses may not have being their.

MadDog76 wrote: »

I got married not too long ago (within the last 5 years) and my Father-In-Law paid for everything and I do mean everything .......... Stags/Hens Weekend, suits, dresses, cars, the whole Wedding reception, the second night party, the Honeymoon and still gave us a hefty cash gift. And this was a sizable Wedding, almost 300 guests.

Now, neither myself nor my now Wife expected/asked for/wanted any of this but he became fairly angry at the mere suggestion that we would be paying for our own Wedding so ........ I'd say ours was an unusual case these days though.

Did you not feel you were taking the piss a bit with 300 guests? that's where the cost is, feeding them all!

We got married almost three years ago.

Both sets of parents have generous cash presents but didn't "pay" for the wedding itself.

We would have been very uncomfortable with them paying for it.
I would have hated to have put that expense on them.