'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

Malari · 28-05-2017 03:24PM

SB_Part2 wrote: »

I broke up with a guy because he was completely and utterly obsessed with Marvel films. The straw that broke the camels back was when we went to see one and he had a Superman vest under his shirt.

Was it the incongruity that upset you?

wakka12 · 28-05-2017 03:30PM

Widdershins wrote: »

Personality matters just as much to some women.

Nahh, once you get to know them a bit it obviously matters. But if you think the couple in the show love are a realistic match you need to take a walk outside for a reality check! And obviously some couples are slightly mismatched but come on this guy is like super ugly for a guy, like noticeably uglier than most and that girl is way hotter than most girls! thats why its unrealistic

wakka12 · 28-05-2017 03:33PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I'd to look up the show you're talking about, just see what the big deal was...

They're both indistinctively average looking! I was expecting a contrast along the lines of Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, or Charlize Theron and the guy she's squeezing. I've seen god knows how many couples where they are polar opposites in terms of looks, but obviously that's from my subjective perspective. Clearly theirs is obviously unique to them as mine is to me, and they undoubtedly find each other attractive.

I myself wouldn't see it, but I wouldn't blame them for not giving a shìt what I think. If I'm attracted to someone the only person I would hope gives a shìt is the person I'm attracted to, and I'd be hoping that feeling was mutual... :pac:

TL:DR: Specsavers!

well you need to watch the show. The girls a knockout and the guys..ew. Great show though all the same, I find it really enjoyable and the looks thing doesn't really matter to my viewing or ruin the show for me with regards how realistic it is. They have great on screen chemistry

Hector Bellend · 28-05-2017 04:54PM

Why dont people just admit that they judge the book by its cover more often than not?

It mightnt always be a conscious thing but if you dont want to go out with someone because they have a bit of a belly or you dont like their voice just say it.

nice_guy80 · 28-05-2017 06:38PM

Ada Deep Tapir wrote: »

On that note, blue suit and brown shoes. Copying Conor McGregor's outfits exactly isn't the same thing as having a sense of style. Every ****ing graduation, wedding, work party I've been to in the past year there's a sea of them, it's the new check shirt and boot cut jeans at this point

that's why proper suit shops are selling grey suits this year
blue suits are on sale

Malari · 28-05-2017 07:09PM

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Why dont people just admit that they judge the book by its cover more often than not?

It mightnt always be a conscious thing but if you dont want to go out with someone because they have a bit of a belly or you dont like their voice just say it.

Isn't that exactly what people have been saying for the last 700 posts or so?

whoopsadoodles · 28-05-2017 07:52PM

I was talking about cars yesterday and think it would be a turnoff if an otherwise hot man in my age bracket was driving a Ford Ka, or a yaris or something. Or a new mini. That's definitely shallow as fcuk. I really like cars though

Other than that, I think lack of ambition or motivation would be a massive turnoff but I don't think that would be shallow.

Tell me how · 28-05-2017 08:21PM

whoopsadoodles wrote:

Other than that, I think lack of ambition or motivation would be a massive turnoff but I don't think that would be shallow.

How about someone who recognized the importance of contentment over ambition?

I've thought about this a lot and gave always been very ambitious but I'm wondering lately if that is the right area to focus on?

Could sound very lazy of course.

Roger Hassenforder · 28-05-2017 08:47PM

SB_Part2 wrote: »

I broke up with a guy because he was completely and utterly obsessed with Marvel films. The straw that broke the camels back was when we went to see one and he had a Superman vest under his shirt.

i'd say he'd give you the road for this faux pas, it must have been a DC film!!

jeanjolie · 28-05-2017 09:49PM

SB_Part2 wrote: »

I broke up with a guy because he was completely and utterly obsessed with Marvel films. The straw that broke the camels back was when we went to see one and he had a Superman vest under his shirt.

Honestly.....that's why I broke up with a friend.

Well not the main reason but it was a 'domino effect'. The guy was a whiteknight obsessed with protecting 'women and children'. Think I mentioned it in another thread or this one where he pretty much told a whole class of girls that I though they were 'sluts' simply because I didn't like how some dressed (though I never told them).

tomwaterford · 28-05-2017 11:14PM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Honestly.....that's why I broke up with a friend.

Well not the main reason but it was a 'domino effect'. The guy was a whiteknight obsessed with protecting 'women and children'. Think I mentioned it in another thread or this one where he pretty much told a whole class of girls that I though they were 'sluts' simply because I didn't like how some dressed (though I never told them).

Domino effect??

jeanjolie · 28-05-2017 11:18PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

Domino effect??

The Marvel obsession thing wasn't the primary factor in me breaking my acquaintanceship (was never really a friend with the guy) with him. He was a verbally agressive man who tattletaled because I said that a I didn't like how a girl in a school we were doing the TY musical with dressed.

Basically, I noticed a few things like an obsession with 'Antman' 'Spiderman' etc...at first and said that we would probably never be close friends but I was still optimistic. Then slowly he revealed his true colours and just told him politely to piss off.

IamtheWalrus · 28-05-2017 11:49PM

It'd be hard to get past poor dental hygiene, no degree and someone who throws litter.

Roger Hassenforder · 29-05-2017 01:25AM

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

It'd be hard to get past poor dental hygiene, no degree and someone who throws litter.

fair enough having no class, but no degree?
now thats shallow

/thread

jeanjolie · 29-05-2017 02:14AM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

fair enough having no class, but no degree?
now thats shallow

/thread

Only if you're a man but apparently it's okay for women.

Can you state how many women you know who date someone without a degree (while having one at the same time)?

Jim Bob Scratcher · 29-05-2017 02:19AM

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

It'd be hard to get past poor dental hygiene, no degree and someone who throws litter.

What a load of bollocks!

jeanjolie · 29-05-2017 03:25AM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

What a load of bollocks!

You serious?

neonsofa · 29-05-2017 07:59AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Only if you're a man but apparently it's okay for women.

Can you state how many women you know who date someone without a degree (while having one at the same time)?

Purely anecdotal, but I'm sure there are many, my most recent ex left school just after primary, I was looking into doing my masters when I met him. He was one of the most intelligent people I have ever met and his lack of a piece of paper made no difference to our relationship.

Jim Bob Scratcher · 29-05-2017 08:12AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

You serious?

Yeah I'm serious. Just look at some of the greatest minds on this planet who don't have a degree.

notsoyoungwan · 29-05-2017 08:16AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Only if you're a man but apparently it's okay for women.

Can you state how many women you know who date someone without a degree (while having one at the same time)?

Anecdotal obviously, but I have multiple degrees and have dated a guy with none, we saw each other for about 3 months. And a friend of mine who has similar qualifications to me is married to a man who left school at 15 and worked on building sites until they had kids, and then he gave up work to mind the children.

Ficheall · 29-05-2017 09:35AM

If someone thought having a degree made them better than anyone else, it would be hard to put up with them (though I might still try, because the offers aren't exactly rolling in).

Getting a degree is pretty much just a matter of paying your money and putting in your time. People need to get over their obsession with third-level education. Universities are a business, and they just want as many customers as possible.

kunst nugget · 29-05-2017 09:41AM

SB_Part2 wrote: »

I broke up with a guy because he was completely and utterly obsessed with Marvel films. The straw that broke the camels back was when we went to see one and he had a Superman vest under his shirt.

Is it because Superman is DC and you couldn't be down with someone with such flagrant disregard for sticking to the proper comic universes?

Roger Hassenforder · 29-05-2017 12:24PM

Ficheall wrote: »

If someone thought having a degree made them better than anyone else, it would be hard to put up with them (though I might still try, because the offers aren't exactly rolling in).

Getting a degree is pretty much just a matter of paying your money and putting in your time. People need to get over their obsession with third-level education. Universities are a business, and they just want as many customers as possible.

In fairness there's usually a bit more than that! (Couldn't fault the rest)

But if someone thought they were somehow better than or above another merely because they had a degree, I think that's the ultimate in vacuousness and snobbery. Most of the shallow reasons are a bit on the silly/craic side, that's a nasty edge one

Widdershins · 29-05-2017 12:27PM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

In fairness there's usually a bit more than that! (Couldn't fault the rest)

But if someone thought they were somehow better than or above another merely because they had a degree, I think that's the ultimate in vacuousness and snobbery. Most of the shallow reasons are a bit on the silly/craic side, that's a nasty edge one

I think some of the others seem innocent enough but they have an undertone of snobbery. Like the knife-licking one, that apparently says a lot about what kind of upbringing someone has had.

Afaic you can't help the upbringing you had and you had no choice in the family you were born into, so it's not an issue for me.

pilly · 29-05-2017 12:32PM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

In fairness there's usually a bit more than that! (Couldn't fault the rest)

But if someone thought they were somehow better than or above another merely because they had a degree, I think that's the ultimate in vacuousness and snobbery. Most of the shallow reasons are a bit on the silly/craic side, that's a nasty edge one

Absolutely. I've 2 degrees and the best boyfriend I ever had was a builder. So uncomplicated and handy around the house. :P What more could a woman want?

Roger Hassenforder · 29-05-2017 12:36PM

pilly wrote: »

Absolutely. I've 2 degrees and the best boyfriend I ever had was a builder. So uncomplicated and handy around the house. :P What more could a woman want?

A builder that turns into a hot water bottle and a glass of wine at 20:00hours?

whoopsadoodles · 29-05-2017 01:02PM

Tell me how wrote: »

How about someone who recognized the importance of contentment over ambition?

I've thought about this a lot and gave always been very ambitious but I'm wondering lately if that is the right area to focus on?

Could sound very lazy of course.

Not sure if I can explain it at all unfortunately.

I'm not talking about massive ambition to become CEO of a multi million euro enterprise.

Personal ambition or motivation to put themselves into a position that ultimately brings their contentment is what I mean.

Someone who has a job they hate (not just a job, anything really), but will sit and whinge about it without actually making any effort to change their own situation would be a major turnoff. Does that make sense even? Finding it difficult to word it properly.

Roger Hassenforder · 29-05-2017 01:08PM

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Not sure if I can explain it at all unfortunately.

I'm not talking about massive ambition to become CEO of a multi million euro enterprise.

Personal ambition or motivation to put themselves into a position that ultimately brings their contentment is what I mean.

Someone who has a job they hate (not just a job, anything really), but will sit and whinge about it without actually making any effort to change their own situation would be a major turnoff. Does that make sense even? Finding it difficult to word it properly.

Ah!
A disciple of Epicurus?

jeanjolie · 29-05-2017 01:09PM

Widdershins wrote: »

Afaic you can't help the upbringing you had and you had no choice in the family you were born into, so it's not an issue for me.

Hmm..not sure what you mean here. The first half of your statement is true but I disagree about it not being an issue.

If we're talking about a girl dressing a certain way or holding certain parenting beliefs (someone who believed in tough love), couldn't one argue that these can be changed?

I mean being an adult means (hopefully) that you are no longer highly influenced by your parents excessive beliefs and can decided whether to keep or discard them.

Would be a big issue for me IMO.

jeanjolie · 29-05-2017 01:11PM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

In fairness there's usually a bit more than that! (Couldn't fault the rest)

But if someone thought they were somehow better than or above another merely because they had a degree, I think that's the ultimate in vacuousness and snobbery. Most of the shallow reasons are a bit on the silly/craic side, that's a nasty edge one

I think a lot more people would be extremely hesitant to date someone without a degree than people are comfortable admitting.

The thing with shallow beliefs is, so long as you don't tell your girlfriend/boyfriend or friends why you wouldn't date someone or have broken up with them in regards to some things said here, It's fine.

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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