'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 10:28AM

Parchment wrote: »

Im not uptight at all - thats why i wouldnt be into someone i thought might be uptight.

Nope, not a bit. Not uptight at all. No sireee......

Parchment wrote: »

For me:
-Any guy under 6ft
-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces
-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag*
-Dirty house/bathroom
-Creepy underpants (like y-front type)
-White socks
-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc.
-religion of any kind.... g'luck.

Parchment · 17-05-2017 10:30AM

Gravelly wrote: »

Nope, not a bit. Not uptight at all. No sireee......

I think most women would agree with the dealbreakers i listed to be honest.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 10:31AM

Parchment wrote: »

I think most women would agree with the dealbreakers i listed to be honest.

Would love to hear from the women here on that one.

Ulysses Gaze · 17-05-2017 10:31AM

Parchment wrote: »

I think most women would agree with the dealbreakers i listed to be honest.

A bold statement.....

Walter H Price · 17-05-2017 10:34AM

Widdershins wrote: »

I can understand the smoking one as there are potential health and financial implications to being a smoker and being romantically attached to one.
I see religion coming up a fair bit. I'm probably seen as quite hard on religions but it wouldn't actually be a huge issue for me if they were just moderate in their beliefs. Two male friends come to mind, one is a Sufi Muslim who wears Islamic prayer beads and is always very tranquil. I think his religion is a way for him to find solace and peace. The other who's a bit of an a la carte Catholic but definitely strongly believes in God and I would never think less of him for that because in his profession you need to find your strength and resolve somewhere.

I think religious differences can become a major issue in relationships , relgion shapes a persons whole view of morality , its restrictive, repressive and requires some level of ignorant blinkered acceptance etc... My OH is more Atheist then i am so it would never come up , but say she needed me to convert or sign up to some belief system to marry her or had a thing that our kids had to be baptized or indoctrinated into some faith , would be an absolute no no ... I've never got past an initial conversation about religion on a date , no sex before marriage came up once i was gone. same as binge drinking , smoking and , Laziness there lifestyle issue if your lifestyle isn't at least compatible a relationship is a majorly bad idea.

Like for me shallow would be all aesthetics, height ,weight ,hair ,color dress sense ... i don't think fundamental lifestyle differences and views are a shallow reason not to date someone , i think that's just a logical approach.

pilly · 17-05-2017 10:43AM

Gravelly wrote: »

Would love to hear from the women here on that one.

I think it's a very long list.

Some of it I can see how they would put a woman off though.

I'm only 5ft 41/2ins so definitely don't need a fella over 6ft. But I get why a very tall woman would want a tall man.

Shoes? Yeah, crappy ones definitely big turn off. Runners with trousers, get out of town. But tightly tied laces? Never even noticed.

I'll have to go back to the thread to read the rest, hang on.

Okay: dirty house/bathroom, in my experience 90% of men so can't rule all them out.

Underpants and socks: you just buy him new ones and tell to cop the fcuk on with wearing white socks.

Lynx: see above

Religion: don't know, depends on how extreme their views are. if they're somewhat middle of the road then live and let live.

Zebra3 · 17-05-2017 10:49AM

Doesn't seem to have be mentioned so far. :eek:

The tramp stamp.

I'd date a girl with an STD before I'd date a girl with one of those yokes.

zedhead · 17-05-2017 10:50AM

Parchment wrote: »

I think most women would agree with the dealbreakers i listed to be honest.

None of those would be deal breakers for me in any way shape or form. The closest would be the religious one and that would only be if they are extreme/orthodox in their religious views. Having their own personal religious beliefs is grand once they don't try preach/convert.

I don't know many of my friends who would care about much on the list either.

Boom_Bap · 17-05-2017 10:51AM

Zebra3 wrote: »

The tramp stamp.

Widdershins · 17-05-2017 10:51AM

Walter H Price wrote: »

I think religious differences can become a major issue in relationships , relgion shapes a persons whole view of morality , its restrictive, repressive and requires some level of ignorant blinkered acceptance etc... My OH is more Atheist then i am so it would never come up , but say she needed me to convert or sign up to some belief system to marry her or had a thing that our kids had to be baptized or indoctrinated into some faith , would be an absolute no no ... I've never got past an initial conversation about religion on a date , no sex before marriage came up once i was gone. same as binge drinking , smoking and , Laziness there lifestyle issue if your lifestyle isn't at least compatible a relationship is a majorly bad idea.

Like for me shallow would be all aesthetics, height ,weight ,hair ,color dress sense ... i don't think fundamental lifestyle differences and views are a shallow reason not to date someone , i think that's just a logical approach.

They'd have to have very mild beliefs for me to feel compatible with them.

pilly · 17-05-2017 10:51AM

Zebra3 wrote:

I'd date a girl with an STD before I'd date a girl with one of those yokes.

Now that's just plain silly now isn't it?.

Malari · 17-05-2017 10:52AM

OK, I'll see if I line up with Parchment's delightfully specific list :pac:

-Any guy under 6ft No, but has to be a few inches taller than me
-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces Agree with bad, cheap or dirty shoes, but no idea how you'd notice the tightly laced thing. It's hilarious!
-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag* Body spray? I don't know, if he smells clean and nice then I'm fine with it
-Dirty house/bathroom Yeah, cleanliness is a must
-Creepy underpants (like y-front type) I have never seen these on a man I've dated!
-White socks Agree!
-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc. All these tie in to the general style theme.
Not a dealbreaker, I GUESS, but very off-putting
-religion of any kind.... g'luck. Agree, but far from a shallow thing

I'll add jewels. Sometimes a leather bracelet can be ok, but in general only a watch and wedding ring are acceptable. My husband doesn't always wear his wedding ring and he winds me up by saying he must get a nice chain so he can wear it around his neck. VOMIT!

Cloudio9 · 17-05-2017 10:53AM

Gravelly wrote: »

Would love to hear from the women here on that one.

I'm not a woman but doesn't at all surprise me that personal hygiene and height are high on the list.

I have to move away from a bloke that smells of Lynx so can imagine what a member of the opposite sex would think. It smells disgusting and just screams poor personal hygiene.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 10:53AM

pilly wrote: »

Now that's just plain silly now isn't it?.

I had to look it up to see what it was - had heard the term but didn't actually know what it meant. Don't think they were a thing back in my dating days, but don't see how they'd be that big a deal - are they considered slutty or something?

pilly · 17-05-2017 10:54AM

Gravelly wrote:

I had to look it up to see what it was - had heard the term but didn't actually know what it meant. Don't think they were a thing back in my dating days, but don't see how they'd be that big a deal - are they considered slutty or something?

Ah they are in fairness but better than an STD !

Ficheall · 17-05-2017 10:55AM

I thought my inability to secure a second date was due to my dull conversation and butt-ugly face, but I am now somewhat relieved to find that many of you are just fucking nuts.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:00AM

Cloudio9 wrote: »

I'm not a woman but doesn't at all surprise me that personal hygiene and height are high on the list.

I have to move away from a bloke that smells of Lynx so can imagine what a member of the opposite sex would think. It smells disgusting and just screams poor personal hygiene.

I sent that list to my missus, here are her observations;

-Any guy under 6ft
Depends - if she's really tall understandable.

-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces
Bad shoes, ok, the laces thing is just weird

-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag*
Better than BO - if it was one brand ok, but "like lynx"???

-Dirty house/bathroom
I take it she doesn't have a husband or sons

-Creepy underpants (like y-front type)
What the heck are creepy underpants? Y-fronts I can understand

-White socks
Better not date an athlete then! White socks for casual wear is a big no-no

-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc.
Again, a bit weird - I wouldn't rule a guy out because I didn't agree with his jeans choice, just discourage him from wearing them

-religion of any kind.... g'luck.
As long as he wasn't super religious or tried to push his beliefs I wouldn't worry too much

Aglomerado · 17-05-2017 11:00AM

What I can't abide are guys guilty of the following transgressions:

Eating noisily

Owning a padded puffa type coat/ gilet

Skinny jeans

Smoking

Correcting how I speak

Being rude to waiters or other services staff

Loving soccer and referring to his team as "we"

I don't care how short/ tall/ skinny/ fat they are as long as they're fun to be with.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:01AM

Ficheall wrote: »

I thought my inability to secure a second date was due to my dull conversation and butt-ugly face, but I am now somewhat relieved to find that many of you are just fucking nuts.

Check your laces and brand of deodorant first would be my advice.

MysticMonk · 17-05-2017 11:02AM

Overuse of a simile in conversation. Like.

bruschi · 17-05-2017 11:06AM

Parchment wrote: »

Not really - you can tell a lot about someone by how they are dressed generally. Like if someone is kind of sloppy in their dress its going to translate into the rest of their lives. Same with a tidy person. Thats what i think about the laces.

Im not uptight at all - thats why i wouldnt be into someone i thought might be uptight.

dont agreee with this at all. Personally, I am most of the time dressed smartly enough. Although not a big fan of suits. But I also am happy enough wearing casual clothes. It says little or nothing about me though, and certainly not about my work or things I do in life.

Do you think the corporate banker who dresses impeccably with his 3 piece suit and goes in and is the most scurrilous person going is able to be judged on his clothes? or the corrupt politician who never has a hair out of place? Reading too much into how a person dresses is not a good indicator of who they are.

ILikeBoats · 17-05-2017 11:07AM

I am seeing that some boardsies are the opposite sex of what I thought they were!

Widdershins · 17-05-2017 11:08AM

Appearances can be deceptive. That's the best advice I've ever received and I've found it to be true many times throughout my life.

tomwaterford · 17-05-2017 11:11AM

MysticMonk wrote: »

Overuse of a simile in conversation. Like.

Overuse of lol.

Ive hidden alot of people off my facebook feed over it,actively avoid msging anyone (male/female) who uses it alot

Theres one poster on boards what uses it excessively and only for im on a mobile site....theyd be blocked

Dunno why it grates so much on me....and im in no position to be judging anyone for using it....know some extremly educated people that use it excessively....so its clearly not an intelligence thing.....just annoying to look at

draiochtanois · 17-05-2017 11:12AM

This post has been deleted.

kylith · 17-05-2017 11:12AM

Gravelly wrote: »

Nope, not a bit. Not uptight at all. No sireee......

Well, the thread is about shallow dealbreakers.

Personally:
-Any guy under 6ft
Disagree. I've gone out with guys over 6' and guys under 5'5". I don't care about height.

-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces
Don't care about shoes.

-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag*
Overpowering deodorant/after shave would be a no-no, but not a particular brand.

-Dirty house/bathroom
Untidy is one thing, stuff growing on plates would be quite another.

-Creepy underpants (like y-front type)
Disagree. By the time we get to underpants I'm more interested in what's inside them than what they look like.

-White socks
Disagree.

-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc.
Don't care. As long as they're clean and not full of holes.

-religion of any kind.... g'luck
Agree with this one. I'm not religious and have no interest in getting involved with anyone who is.

pilly · 17-05-2017 11:13AM

draiochtanois wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Lots of people think that, don't know why.

ILikeBoats · 17-05-2017 11:14AM

draiochtanois wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Same!

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:14AM

pilly wrote: »

Lots of people think that, don't know why.

Not in real life I hope

pilly · 17-05-2017 11:15AM

Gravelly wrote: »

Not in real life I hope

No, just on boards thankfully. :P Must be the user name but it's an actual nickname I had when I was a kid.

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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