'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

Glenster · 16-05-2017 05:16PM

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I think to know very little about NAMA is fine, but to actually have never even heard of it is mind boggling - what sort of a bubble would you have to exist in to have never heard of it in 2016? :eek:

You'd have to be impervious to information or a simpleton.

No thank you.

16-05-2017 05:17PM

Walter H Price wrote: »

Broke up with one girl because she was terrible in bed give it two or three try's, but just 0 chemistry at all, then ended it gently to be fair.

Bailed on a date after the topic turned to religion and she made clear she was pretty into the Jesus stuff and had a purity ring , didn't feel a screed of guilt cutting and running there.

Left another girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks ,after I went on one night out with her and her mates , she was lovely but they were a bunch of skangers and she was completely different around them after she did a line of coke, I said I was going the loo , bailed and ghosted her, not my scene.

would have always been put off by smokers and I could never stay with someone who was a bit dim or lazy.

I have to ask. Wtf does ghosted her mean? ðŸ˜

BetsyEllen · 16-05-2017 05:19PM

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

I have to ask. Wtf does ghosted her mean? ðŸ˜

Just disappeared, never messaged or called her again.

TerrorFirmer · 16-05-2017 05:21PM

Glenster wrote: »

You'd have to be impervious to information or a simpleton.

No thank you.

At the last General Election I told the same guy I was heading out to vote, to the following exchange.

"See you later, I'm heading out to vote"

"Vote in what?"

"Well....the General Election, obviously".

"General Election for what?"

".....the Government?"

"...oh right? See you later"

He had zero idea there was even an election on. He's most definitely not stupid so I really can't understand how he manages to lead such an incredibly insular life.

Widdershins · 16-05-2017 05:23PM

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I think to know very little about NAMA is fine, but to actually have never even heard of it is mind boggling - what sort of a bubble would you have to exist in to have never heard of it in 2016? :eek:

Yes..I see what you mean. I think they'd find it tedious and tune out when people are discussing it. I have no idea how much they know, if anything, about it.

They're not simpletons nor impervious to information-just have a different preference for the information they want to absorb.

jeanjolie · 16-05-2017 05:27PM

panda100 wrote: »

I'm glad to see I'm not the only women whose superficial when it some to jewellery on a man! It's just plain wrong

Honestly...this is why feminine guys kill themselves. Do you think forcing them to be masculine solves anything? What's the point in living if you have a backlash against someones identity?

kittensmittens · 16-05-2017 05:27PM

Wossack wrote: »

One I vividly remember from my early teenage years - I was completely infatuated with this gorgeous girl I only saw at some youth club thing at the weekends. She didnt know me at all, but I spent the week looking forward to seeing her, and the chance of having some trivial interaction with her.

Anyway, on it went, being honest, never really getting any closer, and then bam - some sports day event, and I see her run... Yep, like some spin off from the ministry of silly walks, she had the gait of a newborn foal, ice skating through treacle, and that was that (onto the next daft infatuation..!)

Widdershins · 16-05-2017 05:28PM

In general I find people unattractive if their whole identity is based upon their religion. The political, social issues involving the religion are the mainstay of their conversations. They get irate about an insult to one of their co religionists or whatever you'd call them, somewhere else in the world. It's like they are a cog in a machine instead of a person.

BetsyEllen · 16-05-2017 05:29PM

Widdershins wrote: »

Yes..I see what you mean. I think they'd find it tedious and tune out when people are discussing it. I have no idea how much they know, if anything, about it.

They're not simpletons nor impervious to information-just have a different preference for the information they want to absorb.

This is me...I have no interest at all in NAMA, general elections, anything to do with the government.

I know it's all going on as obviously I hear it being mentioned on the news but I just zone out or turn over.
If I wanted to know about it I'd pay attention and have no issue absorbing it all but I just don't want to.
I could easily come across as a bit thick though to somebody that doesn't know me, if they attempted to talk politics quite early on.

Shenshen · 16-05-2017 05:30PM

panda100 wrote: »

I'm glad to see I'm not the only women whose superficial when it some to jewellery on a man! It's just plain wrong

I have to disagree there. A nice silver bangle or a small earring can look very nice indeed on a man. As long as they don't stray into the "chunky gold" section, or go for the massive fake diamond stud.

jeanjolie · 16-05-2017 05:32PM

Wossack wrote: »

One I vividly remember from my early teenage years - I was completely infatuated with this gorgeous girl I only saw at some youth club thing at the weekends. She didnt know me at all, but I spent the week looking forward to seeing her, and the chance of having some trivial interaction with her.

Anyway, on it went, being honest, never really getting any closer, and then bam - some sports day event, and I see her run... Yep, like some spin off from the ministry of silly walks, she had the gait of a newborn foal, ice skating through treacle, and that was that (onto the next daft infatuation..!)

Opposite thing happened to me.....met this hot girl 6ft girl with a very 'athletic build on the bus in 2012 who was friends with one of my classmates and saw them both on Facebook. Apparently she got 6A1's in the LC.

Went up to her and started talking to her about how pretty and smart she was. Turns out that was in her Junior Cert and the woman I thought was 20 was actually 16.

Hottest thing I ever saw.....shame I didn't try and get in contact with her.

BetsyEllen · 16-05-2017 05:34PM

Shenshen wrote: »

I have to disagree there. A nice silver bangle or a small earring can look very nice indeed on a man. As long as they don't stray into the "chunky gold" section, or go for the massive fake diamond stud.

I've never in my life seen a guy wearing a silver bangle!

A small earring can look kind of nice, but I'm thinking of a Richie Edwards type of guy from the 90's...I can't imagine finding anyone in this day attractive wearing an earring.

Murrisk · 16-05-2017 05:39PM

rawn wrote: »

I remember hitting it off really well with a guy before, really intelligent, funny, good looking etc. He got my number a few days later from a mutual friend and text me something along the lines of

"hey its XXX wu up2"

Completely turned me off him.

My husband used text speak in the first texts he sent to me to organise a date. I have to admit it made me wary. BUT he had seemed so intelligent the night we met that I decided to give him a chance. Turns out he just hated texting and wanted to make it as quick as possible. He wasn't a predictive text user (this was pre-smartphones) so this was the quickest way for him. So glad I didn't write him off over it.

Shenshen · 16-05-2017 05:44PM

BetsyEllen wrote: »

I've never in my life seen a guy wearing a silver bangle!

A small earring can look kind of nice, but I'm thinking of a Richie Edwards type of guy from the 90's...I can't imagine finding anyone in this day attractive wearing an earring.

I'm thinking like what Neil Oliver wears, just a small silver band. I find male arms quite erotic, and something like this just ads a bit to that

One eyed Jack · 16-05-2017 05:45PM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Opposite thing happened to me.....met this hot girl 6ft girl with a very 'athletic build on the bus in 2012 who was friends with one of my classmates and saw them both on Facebook. Apparently she got 6A1's in the LC.

Went up to her and started talking to her about how pretty and smart she was. Turns out that was in her Junior Cert and the woman I thought was 20 was actually 16.

Hottest thing I ever saw.....shame I didn't try and get in contact with her.

You'd still have had to stand on a milk crate to kiss her :pac:

suicide_circus · 16-05-2017 05:45PM

An inability to stfu.

Eircom_Sucks · 16-05-2017 05:47PM

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

She won't wear the strap-on?

Thats you're mother you are talking about

suicide_circus · 16-05-2017 05:51PM

Shenshen wrote: »

I'm thinking like what Neil Oliver wears, just a small silver band. I find male arms quite erotic, and something like this just ads a bit to that

Why do the women love this man?

kylith · 16-05-2017 06:00PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Why do the women love this man?

Because there's a difference between conventionally handsome and sexy.

And the accent doesn't hurt.

panda100 · 16-05-2017 06:00PM

jeanjolie wrote:

Honestly...this is why feminine guys kill themselves. Do you think forcing them to be masculine solves anything? What's the point in living if you have a backlash against someones identity?

I actually like 'feminine' guys if there is such a thing. I don't wear jewellery myself so perhaps that is why I don't like it on men. It certainly has nothing to do with it looking feminine on them.

freshpopcorn · 16-05-2017 06:02PM

Somebody who can't leave the house without a full face of makeup!

Murrisk · 16-05-2017 06:08PM

Donald Trump wrote: »

Ah, I think it's confusion. Wimmins say "all I want is a nice fella". that's not true though in practice. They want other things too but for whatever reason (society or cultural) don't say it.
Nice=pushover only because people take advantage and don't appreciate it. Fella who never makes compromises or considers someone else in their decisions = arsehole. Fella/eejit who does is dismissed as nice = pushover.
Irish women often don't appreciate decent fellas. I probably have more Irish friends with foreign wives/serious-girlfriends than have Irish ones (apart from the ones that were going out since they were young)......and a lot of 30's/40's Irish women moaning about lack of "quality" for dating :unsure: . Irish women take a bit longer to realize that the queue of fellas trying to bang you down the local nightclub when you are in your early 20's isn't necessarily going to magically morph into the greatest love-story and happy ending the world has ever seen (well, unless you consider a specific type of temporary "happy ending" )

What was that? I missed it, was too busy snuggling up to my assertive, sound, funny Irish husband.

kittensmittens · 16-05-2017 06:08PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Why do the women love this man?

Never heard of him, had to google...........

SOME women, SOME women love this man (they are most welcome to him :P)

DivingDuck · 16-05-2017 06:10PM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Honestly...this is why feminine guys kill themselves. Do you think forcing them to be masculine solves anything? What's the point in living if you have a backlash against someones identity?

That escalated quickly...

Wearing jewellery is not like race or a disability; it's a preference, like being into football or not wanting children. If you are not attracting the people you want to attract while maintaining your preference, you need to either look at your own dating dealbreakers or accept that you're going to have to ditch the preference to land the partner of your dreams.

Murrisk · 16-05-2017 06:12PM

Widdershins wrote: »

I'd probably find an enthusiasm for politics a little bit off putting. Depends on their other interests. I know men who barely know what NAMA is because they don't want to know-their minds are on other things, and they're always interesting imo.

Yeah, I'd have to agree. An interest in politics isn't a signifier of intelligence to me. A lot of us, me included, have low interest in the goings-on of smarmy careerists and the tedium of partisan politics.

ligerdub · 16-05-2017 06:14PM

jeanjolie wrote:

2.) 'Traditional beliefs' - Can't really deal with people who believe in a 'tough love' mentality in parenting (even though don't want kids), discipline, advice. This also includes believing in traditional gender dynamics. Should at least be nurturing and open minded.

jeanjolie wrote:

3.) Height - I'm 5ft 5in and don't want a girl who is below too much. Nothing to do with femininity or masculinity rather its simply attraction. I tend to find shorter women (with a fair number of exceptions) do not portray a look of seriousness. Height is the main focus in a negative fashion.

Brilliant! You have to be open minded about gender dynamics but people below 5 foot 5 are not serious? Lunacy!

Demforeigners · 16-05-2017 06:15PM

Fake tan would be the only major shallow deal breaker for me I think. The smell and unnatural look just turns me away.

Other than that I've went out with plenty of different types of girl and as long as they're fun I don't really focus on the little things.

Shenshen · 16-05-2017 06:16PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Why do the women love this man?

Well, let's see... Educated, seriously sexy accent, and he happens to look rather similar to my husband. Why wouldn't I?

pilly · 16-05-2017 07:09PM

Walter H Price wrote: »

Don't think the dinking thing is shallow tbh , it'd be a major deal breaker for me too, but the opposite way around, I couldn't date anyone that wanted to be out on the lash or in clubs every week or a few times a month.

Its a lifestyle thing.

Funny, I don't drink at all but I never consider it when I meet a potential partner. Although I suppose I'm at the stage in live where I'm not looking for husband or even live in partner anymore so if someone wanted to go out on the lash with their mates it wouldn't really effect me.

If however, they wanted to get pissed when they were with me that would a different story.

pilly · 16-05-2017 07:11PM

Candie wrote: »

Smoking.

Poor manners.

Farting with joyous abandon regardless of company or location.

High pitched voice.

Belief in any nonsense like homeopathy or horoscopes or crystals.

Once I had an all-consuming crush on what I thought was the perfect man. He was just perfect. Until I saw him holster his cellphone in a little holder on his belt. Talk about your metaphorical cold shower, it was an instant crush cure.

I'd be the same about the holster but I have to confess with the size of phones now I think they're practical for men, I mean where the **** do they put their phones?

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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