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Inappropriate stuff with 5 year olds.

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Comments

  • #32
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,692 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    I would be concerned about how the other child learned this behaviour.
    steloide wrote: »
    It's signed the chairperson of the BOM.
    Is this the parish priest?


  • #33
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,541 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Yes! Their child did something that caused upset to another child. You knew their child did it to your child. They know their child did it to your child. They would have been told that you came in to discuss it. They would have been told in general terms what happened. Much like you were.

    But the specifics, regarding their child (the 'problem') will be kept between them. Same way as if you went back to the principal with specific issues your child was displaying after this it would be kept between you and the principal/chairman too.


  • #34
    BorneTobyWilde
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,536 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    ''and GOD will help sort all this out.''

    That's the bit I'd be worried about. This Cunttry needs to leave religion at the door when it comes to education.


  • #35
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    steloide wrote: »
    ObvIously 'm not giving a clear picture of the events. Sorry everyone.
    Maybe It's really an event that has to be lived. There is a good bit of lying and hush hush around the whole thing with the principal and the chairperson of the BOM. These are the only 2 people involved

    You didn't want to make a big deal of it and wanted it kept quiet. But are complaining only 2 people are involved. You also suggested that something untoward is going on with the other child but didn't say if you reported your concerns.

    If tusla were notified by the school and had no concerns then that's all you need to know. You have no right to be informed of anything in relation to the other child. Children are only 5 so best action is to deal with it and move on. Leave the school to do the rest


  • #36
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,223 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    steloide wrote: »
    Thanks for all the advice and majority seem to say "not such a big deal" but I should have included the details.
    So the first time this happened could have been seen as curiosity but the second incident was a rough rub in the private area with a soft toy then he hugged the toy and rubbed it on his on private, my little girl thought it was discussing and was quite upset about it. He is also cause other kids in the class some distraught and he spends more time in at break time due to his behavior.
    So the principal has been dropping hints that our child might be making things up. The principal was also caught lying. (she said my child had done something in class and the teacher in the class said it never happened) I also think she with held info from Tusla.

    What basis have you to think she withheld information from Tusla?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #37
    Spon Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,279 ✭✭✭Spon Farmer


    steloide wrote: »
    The mad thing is we didn't do anything, only ask for a meeting and plan to sort this issue. We didn't do anything wrong!!!. My child didn't do anything wrong. So why is it that the school and it's staff and the BOM are treating us like we did something wrong??????

    I don't anytime about TUSLA, BOM's, etc, nor do I know how the school should react or what they should do,

    I do however, think think that the forum members telling you to stop "overreacting", they are "only 5 year olds", etc. are just about the daftest bunch of people imaginable.

    No matter the age or intent, of course you are going to be upset. This is your daughter, for goodness sake, and what has happened is not pleasant. And it did not stop.

    I do not understand the process behind sorting it all out, so all I can say is remember that it will al pass from your daughter's memory fairly quickly so the less se is aware of the meetings, the better.

    And also remember, the boy in question is also innocent. He could not possibly understand what he is doing and no doubt picked it up from someplace else. Perhaps he saw something on Youtube or the TV, or he walked in on his parents. It may be something as innocent as that.

    The school needs to look after both children and put your mind at ease. Would it not be best if you and your boyfriend met the parents?

    A stressful situation to sure, but is it good that your daughter told you. I hope it all works out for you all.


  • #38
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,223 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    steloide wrote: »
    Not at all. But our meeting and names and our child's name was used by the principal to the other parants. Is that normal?

    Which parents?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #39
    steloide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 227 ✭✭steloide


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Which parents?

    The parents of the little boy and the chairperson of BOM knew as do all other teachers. It's a small community.


  • #40
    steloide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 227 ✭✭steloide


    Spon Farmer wrote: »
    I don't anytime about TUSLA, BOM's, etc, nor do I know how the school should react or what they should do,

    I do however, think think that the forum members telling you to stop "overreacting", they are "only 5 year olds", etc. are just about the daftest bunch of people imaginable.

    No matter the age or intent, of course you are going to be upset. This is your daughter, for goodness sake, and what has happened is not pleasant. And it did not stop.

    I do not understand the process behind sorting it all out, so all I can say is remember that it will al pass from your daughter's memory fairly quickly so the less se is aware of the meetings, the better.

    And also remember, the boy in question is also innocent. He could not possibly understand what he is doing and no doubt picked it up from someplace else. Perhaps he saw something on Youtube or the TV, or he walked in on his parents. It may be something as innocent as that.

    The school needs to look after both children and put your mind at ease. Would it not be best if you and your boyfriend met the parents?

    A stressful situation to sure, but is it good that your daughter told you. I hope it all works out for you all.

    We thought about meeting the parents but the husband is a little odd and I don't get a good gut feeling. The wife seems nice and I have a feeling she has a connection with the principal.


  • #41
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,541 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    steloide wrote: »
    The parents of the little boy and the chairperson of BOM knew as do all other teachers. It's a small community.
    Of course the parents of the boy know, why on earth would they not be told about what you consider to be a very, very serious issue involving their son and Tusla have been informed?

    As to the chairperson, you yourself stated that the other BOM members weren't available, as if this somehow was the fault of the scool and now, you didn't want any BOM involvement?

    As any parent would, you do not want the incident to re-occur and you wanted some kind of procedure put in place - how is the school to implement any such procedure if the staff are not aware of a potential issue?

    You can't have it both ways- you want to school to act, but only as you dictate.


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