Am I just being stingy.

99problems · 10-04-2017 10:50AM

razorblunt wrote:

Not your fault OP. Look at this way, it's Â£10 (minus the cost of the Red Bull) to find out the guy is not worth your time and effort.

It's traditional for people that are going to get a cake , would it be cheeky if i got one that looks like 2 euro ? And maybe a coffee cup on top ðŸ˜

mickdw · 10-04-2017 10:52AM

Tell him to pick up a coffee and sandwich for you next day he is heading to the shop. If he refuses, ask him for your 7 quid back.

Bandana boy · 10-04-2017 04:31PM

Could they be trying to get you back for some perceived stinginess on your part ?
I bought coffees for the lads on your behalf sound bizarre .

Years ago I worked with a lad who was one of the best paid in the office but was mean af
Was always stinging people for a few quid .
Leaving an after work pints just as his round came up
Being to busy to do the coffee run on his turn but not ponying up the cash for someone to cover.
Entering pool draws like the grand national in the office but having to be hounded for the 2 quid. So on and so forth

When we heard he was leaving we made a concerted effort to get some cash back from him.

We always did a collection and a cake when somebody was leaving (not sure why but always happened ) should have seen his face at going home time on his last day and neither arrived .
We had the cake on the Monday after !

andekwarhola · 10-04-2017 04:35PM

Personally I'd look him square in the eye tomorrow and tell him to pick you up a coffee when he's heading out as he owes it to you.

He's making a fool of you.

At the very least, don't give him money again.

99problems · 10-04-2017 04:41PM

Bandana boy wrote:

Could they be trying to get you back for some perceived stinginess on your part ? I bought coffees for the lads on your behalf sound bizarre .

I don't think so really , I don't want to sound boastful but I am genuinely the first person to put my hand in my pocket when someone is stuck or if there is a collection for something or other . Maybe that's why he thought I wouldn't mind which I wouldn't have if I was asked any other day or asked at all really .

99problems · 10-04-2017 04:42PM

andekwarhola wrote:

Personally I'd look him square in the eye tomorrow and tell him to pick you up a coffee when he's heading out as he owes it to you.

andekwarhola wrote:

He's making a fool of you.

andekwarhola wrote:

At the very least, don't give him money again.

Oh I have learned my lesson on this one I wont be asking him to go the shop for me again.

Robsweezie · 10-04-2017 05:51PM

i did he same once when my da sent me to the shop for milk etc. and i spent the change on sweets and a magazine. dunno if i spent all the change or a chunk of it, but he let me know i was in the wrong. And I was, he could've really needed that change, and so could you. And it wasnt mine to spend, likewise with the mates and the coffee.

I'm not sure it this is a sign, but sometimes these things show the true colours. Maybe, just maybe, you're viewed as a doormat, and these people aren't friends. How do you feel toward them? How do they treat you in general?

You sound like a decent skin by the way.

kylith · 10-04-2017 06:07PM

The only thing you did wrong was not putting your hand out and telling him that the lads owed him coffee cos you needed your change back.

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2017 06:09PM

99problems wrote: »

I don't think so really , I don't want to sound boastful but I am genuinely the first person to put my hand in my pocket when someone is stuck or if there is a collection for something or other . Maybe that's why he thought I wouldn't mind which I wouldn't have if I was asked any other day or asked at all really .

That's your big mistake, the emboldened bit.

You seem to have hit on folk who take advantage of that generosity.

Tighten up my man, as a friend of mine alwYs said "Don't be a fool all your life"

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:13PM

Robsweezie wrote:

I'm not sure it this is a sign, but sometimes these things show the true colours. Maybe, just maybe, you're viewed as a doormat, and these people aren't friends. How do you feel toward them? How do they treat you in general?

Robsweezie wrote:

You sound like a decent skin by the way.

Thanks , I am not though I am a complete tool as people on boards would tell you themselves but I do care about the people that care about me. I haven't had any problems with guys and money in work before I give and I get back it's only this one lad that extracted the urine. I know all the other lads have had similar issues with him but I didn't before.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:18PM

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Tighten up my man, as a friend of mine alwYs said "Don't be a fool all your life"

Brendan Bendar wrote:

You seem to have hit on folk who take advantage of that generosity.

Brendan Bendar wrote:

That's your big mistake, the emboldened bit.

I hear this a lot actually I have heard it since I started putting money into those dogs for the blind boxes as a kid. I enjoy being generous and it just sucks that there is a person that makes me think twice about it , dont get me wrong I'm not well off by any stretch but I hate to see people go without.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:21PM

johnnyskeleton wrote:

Its basically theft - taking someone elses money and spending it without permission. Not saying the OP should go to the gardai or elscalate it in work or anything, but the other guy stole his money.

kylith wrote:

The only thing you did wrong was not putting your hand out and telling him that the lads owed him coffee cos you needed your change back.

I actually think he went to the shop with no money and just bought stuff from mine , I don't know how two coffee 's and a red bull comes to eight euro I know red bull isn't cheap but it's not that expensive.

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2017 06:27PM

99problems wrote: »

I hear this a lot actually I have heard it since I started putting money into those dogs for the blind boxes as a kid. I enjoy being generous and it just sucks that there is a person that makes me think twice about it , dont get me wrong I'm not well off by any stretch but I hate to see people go without.

Not being preachy, but I think you need to be a bit more 'street wise'.

There are people out there who one would think are 'going without' but on closer examination one can establish that their spend is on themselves and they prey on generous people like yourself for the ancillary stuff.

Like , if they see a soft touch they will ride that wave.

Don't be afraid to tell these people to 'fork right off' if they abuse your altruistic leaning, that's usually the only language they respond to.

Regards and best of luck with that.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:29PM

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Don't be afraid to tell these people to 'fork right off' if they abuse your altruistic leaning, that's usually the only language they respond to.

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Regards and best of luck with that.

You're right , shame one fecker has to ruin it for everyone but that's life you live and learn.

evolving_doors · 10-04-2017 06:34PM

Some people spend years in college and thousands of euro to learn life lessons.

You just spent €10 to learn an important one.
Consider it a good investment.

Be patient though, the wheel will turn and this guy will need a dig out of some sort in the future.... just have popcorn on hand to watch him while he begs.

10-04-2017 06:38PM

OP is there an age gap at play here?

I remember when i was a young lad, working here and there, I was oblivious to the value of money even though I was earning my own. If someone paid for a drink I'd (genuinely) forget to seek them out in order to return the favour. These days, I'd be mortified not to.

Young people with a week's wages in their pocket can sometimes be unacquainted with the worries of mortgages and bills, and the shortage of money that accompanies these adult necessities.

I don't think you're being stingy, but I'm not sure the other guy was taking you for a ride either. He was perhaps being flimsy with money out of a lack of awareness of your circumstances, which, of course, is not an excuse for his behaviour.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:45PM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

OP is there an age gap at play here?

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

I remember when i was a young lad, working here and there, I was oblivious to the value of money even though I was earning my own. If someone paid for a drink I'd (genuinely) forget to seek them out in order to return the favour. These days, I'd be mortified not to.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

Young people with a week's wages in their pocket can sometimes be unacquainted with the worries of mortgages and bills, and the shortage of money that accompanies these adult necessities.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

I don't think you're being stingy, but I'm not sure the other guy was taking you for a ride either. He was perhaps being flimsy with money out of a lack of awareness of your circumstances, which, of course, is not an excuse for his behaviour.

There is an age gap but he is atleast twenty years older than me. I know maybe he sees me helping other lads out of a jam the odd time and probably saw me as easy pickings but it won't happen again.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:47PM

Gebgbegb wrote:

Be patient though, the wheel will turn and this guy will need a dig out of some sort in the future.... just have popcorn on hand to watch him while he begs.

I wish I had time to have the last laugh , by next month he will be laughing at me in his secure job while I trapes around trying to find a new one , not that I haven't started looking already . I really should have went to college but that's another story for another day.

tayto lover · 10-04-2017 06:49PM

OP you should let it go and say nothing to him. You can get him in the long grass at a future date. What goes round, comes round.

99problems · 10-04-2017 06:51PM

tayto lover wrote:

OP you should let it go and say nothing to him. You can get him in the long grass at a future date. What goes round, comes round.

I had intended to let it go , I just thought maybe I'm just being petty so I wanted opinions , it appears I was right all along .

Yourself isit · 10-04-2017 06:57PM

99problems wrote: »

I had intended to let it go , I just thought maybe I'm just being petty so I wanted opinions , it appears I was right all along .

I think the concensus is you are right but you should still let it go.

Why is your job ending?

99problems · 10-04-2017 07:02PM

Yourself isit wrote:

I think the concensus is you are right but you should still let it go.

Yourself isit wrote:

Why is your job ending?

I was only taken on as temporary staff and I could have been kept on but work is very slow at the moment so they don't really have a choice.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 10-04-2017 07:33PM

He's not a friend, he's s twat. You were not being stingey in the slightest, he was.

Shemale · 11-04-2017 04:11PM

Just steal something of his seeing as you are leaving

osarusan · 11-04-2017 04:56PM

99problems wrote: »

I was planning to but I'm being let go this month anyway so no point in making my last month miserable in work .

i would look at it the other way round. You are leaving anyway, so why not be blunt about him stinginess to him, or publicise his stinginess, before you go?

xzanti · 11-04-2017 05:13PM

I would be well cheesed off.

Doesn't matter if it was your last tenner or you were minted, it was still a sh1tty thoughtless thing to do.

Like others have said, say no more about it but give him a wide berth in future.

99problems · 11-04-2017 06:02PM

Shemale wrote:

Just steal something of his seeing as you are leaving

Haha I'll take his inhaler so that will show him.

Your Face · 11-04-2017 06:46PM

Red Kev wrote: »

You're stingy with paragraph spacing.

My eyes hurt!

You're stingy with humour.

__Alex__ · 11-04-2017 06:54PM

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

He said in his first sentence that he would be and that you shouldn't read it if it bothered you.

Well, no, he mentioned grammatical errors. Plus I think that poster was joking.

__Alex__ · 11-04-2017 07:04PM

A guy in my OH's work is a smoker. A regular smokes-everyday smoker, not an occasional smoker. He never buys his in work and bums every single cigarette he smokes there, exploiting the smoker's code of being cool with having ciggies bummed of you. The worst thing? If the person who gave him the ciggie starts talking to him, he just stares at his phone, grunting answers at them uninterestedly. Politeness dictates that you don't ignore the bummee! Obviously my OH long ago stop giving him cigarettes and a lot of people in the place have also cottoned on, but there are still a few people who, for some reason, indulge him. Some people just have no shame. He is an aspiring actor, trapped in financial services, and his attitude seems to be that they are lucky to have the opportunity to give him cigarettes. He does receive digs, subtle and not-so-subtle, from people he works with over his stinginess. What a bleedin' muppe'!

Am I just being stingy.

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