Am I just being stingy.

99problems

This is quite a long post with grammatical errors so if your not bothered you don't need to read it😀.
So the other morning I was late leaving for work and I forgot my wallet, thankfully I found 10 euro in the car for lunch and petrol if I got caught out on the way home. I started to get a bit tired around one o'clock and one of the lads was heading to the shop so I gave him my money for a red bull , I gave him ten euro because it's what I had on me and I waited for him to come back and he did quite quickly , he hands me my red bull and says I have 2 euro change for you I'll give it to you later, I asked him where he went that my red bull cost 8 euro and he said it didn't but two of the other lads said they owe me a coffee. I am not a mean person and I will often buy lads a coffee or even 20 smokes If they are stuck , and they will always pay me back but they always ask and if they are too embarrassed to ask I'll offer. I didn't want to create an atmosphere with the lads so I just said that's fine if I'm really stuck later on they can loan me the fiver for petrol to get myself home, home time came and me and two of the lads that got the coffees where with me in the work van and I asked them nicely if they wouldn't mind maybe throwing me a loan of money until the morning because I hadn't really got enough for their coffee earlier they looked at me like I had two heads. I thought maybe they forgot but then they said sure so and so said he would buy us coffee on him when he went for lunch earlier but he just decided that I should pay for it , now I should say these two lads are the closest thing to friends that I have and they did loan me money to get home but my problem isn't with them it's the other chap that went to the shop am I right to be annoyed that he splashed my cash to big himself up or will I just drop it ? I should also mention I never got the 2 euro change either.

larrykinney

Yes, you are right to be annoyed, the guy was way out of order. I think you should probably say no more about it at this stage but be wary of him in future.

99problems

larrykinney wrote:

Yes, you are right to be annoyed, the guy was way out of order. I think you should probably say no more about it at this stage but be wary of him in future.

I was thinking I might just drop it , just wanted an outside opinion on whether I was being overdramatic by being annoyed. Thank you.

me_right_one

By the sounds of that story, YOU are not the stingy one. The fella who spent your money without asking you is bang out of order here. Maybe he just thinks it'll be his turn to buy the coffees tomorrow. I would be careful lending him money in future.

99problems

me_right_one wrote:

By the sounds of that story, YOU are not the stingy one. The fella who spent your money without asking you is bang out of order here. Maybe he just thinks it'll be his turn to buy the coffees tomorrow. I would be careful lending him money in future.

Wouldn't mind if he asked to be honest I'd push the car home before I seen someone stuck but I don't think he was.

perfectisthe

No, it's not you. That's completely out of order. If one of my work colleagues did that I'd have a fairly firm word with them.

Realt Dearg Sec

Lads like that think they've saved themselves a few Bob or had one over on you, buy they don't realise what a false economy it is. People notice that stuff and you're judged accordingly. It's a very hard reputation to shake off.

johnnyskeleton

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Lads like that think they've saved themselves a few Bob or had one over on you, buy they don't realise what a false economy it is. People notice that stuff and you're judged accordingly. It's a very hard reputation to shake off.

Its basically theft - taking someone elses money and spending it without permission. Not saying the OP should go to the gardai or elscalate it in work or anything, but the other guy stole his money.

gifted

There not friends OP...hopefully you will realise that now.

893bet

Leave it go. Next time. Go to the shop yourself.

Brendan Bendar

893bet wrote: »

Leave it go. Next time. Go to the shop yourself.

Sound advice there- learn from the experience.

Red Kev

You're stingy with paragraph spacing.

My eyes hurt!

whoopsadoodles

Red Kev wrote: »

You're stingy with paragraph spacing.

My eyes hurt!

He said in his first sentence that he would be and that you shouldn't read it if it bothered you.

Yeh OP he's the stingy sh*t. I'd say it to him but I'd be doing it in such a way that I was slagging him over being a stingy sh*t.

gramar

Your problem is not being stingy, it's drinking red bull.

kfallon

It's great when people mark your card for you! For me, he would now be filed under the heading 'Cúnt' and in future I wouldn't give him the steam off my piss.

Just let it go but you've learned something invaluable about this guy so the €6 or €7 you were swindled out of is probably worth it in the long run.

I'd file it under "don't loan someone money you need back that day"

whoopsadoodles

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'd file it under "don't loan someone money you need back that day"

He didn't loan it to him.

He asked him to buy him a drink out of it and the stingy prick bought coffees for all with his money.

He gave him a tenner which he needed himself.

Was out of his hands (literally) at that stage.

whoopsadoodles

[Deleted User] wrote: »

He gave him a tenner which he needed himself.

Was out of his hands (literally) at that stage.

That's not lending someone money.....

99problems

Red Kev wrote:

You're stingy with paragraph spacing.

Red Kev wrote:

My eyes hurt!

Well in fairness I did warn you at the start about bad grammar.

99problems

gifted wrote:

There not friends OP...hopefully you will realise that now.

Yeah I did thankfully.

Widdershins

It's lucky you didn't end up with no petrol. It's definitely not you!

When you say the others looked at you strangely when you mentioned you couldn't really afford the coffees they had..did they definitely get those coffees earlier?

razorblunt

Not your fault OP.
Look at this way, it's £10 (minus the cost of the Red Bull) to find out the guy is not worth your time and effort.

99problems

Realt Dearg Sec wrote:

Lads like that think they've saved themselves a few Bob or had one over on you, buy they don't realise what a false economy it is. People notice that stuff and you're judged accordingly. It's a very hard reputation to shake off.

I actually was told that he is a notorious cheapskate but I didn't think that would extend to blatantly ripping me off.

99problems

perfectisthe wrote:

No, it's not you. That's completely out of order. If one of my work colleagues did that I'd have a fairly firm word with them.

perfectisthe wrote:

No, it's not you. That's completely out of order. If one of my work colleagues did that I'd have a fairly firm word with them.

I was planning to but I'm being let go this month anyway so no point in making my last month miserable in work .

99problems

893bet wrote:

Leave it go. Next time. Go to the shop yourself.

I will and I'll buy everyone but him breakfast he might cop on

99problems

gramar wrote:

Your problem is not being stingy, it's drinking red bull.

Babe is that you ?

kfallon

99problems wrote: »

I was planning to but I'm being let go this month anyway so no point in making my last month miserable in work .

If you have the traditional leaving speech, bring it up then by calling him a cheapskate cúnt! Go out with a bang

99problems

Deleted User wrote:

I'd file it under "don't loan someone money you need back that day"

I didn't loan it to him , I asked him to pick me up a red bull and he decided himself it was a loan

99problems

Widdershins wrote:

When you say the others looked at you strangely when you mentioned you couldn't really afford the coffees they had..did they definitely get those coffees earlier?

Widdershins wrote:

It's lucky you didn't end up with no petrol. It's definitely not you!

That thought had crossed my mind but apparently yeah they where delicious .

99problems

whoopsadoodles wrote:

That's not lending someone money.....

According to my bank it is.

99problems

razorblunt wrote:

Not your fault OP. Look at this way, it's £10 (minus the cost of the Red Bull) to find out the guy is not worth your time and effort.

It's traditional for people that are going to get a cake , would it be cheeky if i got one that looks like 2 euro ? And maybe a coffee cup on top ðŸ˜

mickdw

Tell him to pick up a coffee and sandwich for you next day he is heading to the shop. If he refuses, ask him for your 7 quid back.

Bandana boy

Could they be trying to get you back for some perceived stinginess on your part ?
I bought coffees for the lads on your behalf sound bizarre .

Years ago I worked with a lad who was one of the best paid in the office but was mean af
Was always stinging people for a few quid .
Leaving an after work pints just as his round came up
Being to busy to do the coffee run on his turn but not ponying up the cash for someone to cover.
Entering pool draws like the grand national in the office but having to be hounded for the 2 quid. So on and so forth

When we heard he was leaving we made a concerted effort to get some cash back from him.

We always did a collection and a cake when somebody was leaving (not sure why but always happened ) should have seen his face at going home time on his last day and neither arrived .
We had the cake on the Monday after !

andekwarhola

Personally I'd look him square in the eye tomorrow and tell him to pick you up a coffee when he's heading out as he owes it to you.

He's making a fool of you.

At the very least, don't give him money again.

99problems

Bandana boy wrote:

Could they be trying to get you back for some perceived stinginess on your part ? I bought coffees for the lads on your behalf sound bizarre .

I don't think so really , I don't want to sound boastful but I am genuinely the first person to put my hand in my pocket when someone is stuck or if there is a collection for something or other . Maybe that's why he thought I wouldn't mind which I wouldn't have if I was asked any other day or asked at all really .

99problems

andekwarhola wrote:

Personally I'd look him square in the eye tomorrow and tell him to pick you up a coffee when he's heading out as he owes it to you.

andekwarhola wrote:

He's making a fool of you.

andekwarhola wrote:

At the very least, don't give him money again.

Oh I have learned my lesson on this one I wont be asking him to go the shop for me again.

Robsweezie

i did he same once when my da sent me to the shop for milk etc. and i spent the change on sweets and a magazine. dunno if i spent all the change or a chunk of it, but he let me know i was in the wrong. And I was, he could've really needed that change, and so could you. And it wasnt mine to spend, likewise with the mates and the coffee.

I'm not sure it this is a sign, but sometimes these things show the true colours. Maybe, just maybe, you're viewed as a doormat, and these people aren't friends. How do you feel toward them? How do they treat you in general?

You sound like a decent skin by the way.

kylith

The only thing you did wrong was not putting your hand out and telling him that the lads owed him coffee cos you needed your change back.

Brendan Bendar

99problems wrote: »

I don't think so really , I don't want to sound boastful but I am genuinely the first person to put my hand in my pocket when someone is stuck or if there is a collection for something or other . Maybe that's why he thought I wouldn't mind which I wouldn't have if I was asked any other day or asked at all really .

That's your big mistake, the emboldened bit.

You seem to have hit on folk who take advantage of that generosity.

Tighten up my man, as a friend of mine alwYs said "Don't be a fool all your life"

99problems

Robsweezie wrote:

I'm not sure it this is a sign, but sometimes these things show the true colours. Maybe, just maybe, you're viewed as a doormat, and these people aren't friends. How do you feel toward them? How do they treat you in general?

Robsweezie wrote:

You sound like a decent skin by the way.

Thanks , I am not though I am a complete tool as people on boards would tell you themselves but I do care about the people that care about me. I haven't had any problems with guys and money in work before I give and I get back it's only this one lad that extracted the urine. I know all the other lads have had similar issues with him but I didn't before.

99problems

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Tighten up my man, as a friend of mine alwYs said "Don't be a fool all your life"

Brendan Bendar wrote:

You seem to have hit on folk who take advantage of that generosity.

Brendan Bendar wrote:

That's your big mistake, the emboldened bit.

I hear this a lot actually I have heard it since I started putting money into those dogs for the blind boxes as a kid. I enjoy being generous and it just sucks that there is a person that makes me think twice about it , dont get me wrong I'm not well off by any stretch but I hate to see people go without.

99problems

johnnyskeleton wrote:

Its basically theft - taking someone elses money and spending it without permission. Not saying the OP should go to the gardai or elscalate it in work or anything, but the other guy stole his money.

kylith wrote:

The only thing you did wrong was not putting your hand out and telling him that the lads owed him coffee cos you needed your change back.

I actually think he went to the shop with no money and just bought stuff from mine , I don't know how two coffee 's and a red bull comes to eight euro I know red bull isn't cheap but it's not that expensive.

Brendan Bendar

99problems wrote: »

I hear this a lot actually I have heard it since I started putting money into those dogs for the blind boxes as a kid. I enjoy being generous and it just sucks that there is a person that makes me think twice about it , dont get me wrong I'm not well off by any stretch but I hate to see people go without.

Not being preachy, but I think you need to be a bit more 'street wise'.

There are people out there who one would think are 'going without' but on closer examination one can establish that their spend is on themselves and they prey on generous people like yourself for the ancillary stuff.

Like , if they see a soft touch they will ride that wave.

Don't be afraid to tell these people to 'fork right off' if they abuse your altruistic leaning, that's usually the only language they respond to.

Regards and best of luck with that.

99problems

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Don't be afraid to tell these people to 'fork right off' if they abuse your altruistic leaning, that's usually the only language they respond to.

Brendan Bendar wrote:

Regards and best of luck with that.

You're right , shame one fecker has to ruin it for everyone but that's life you live and learn.

evolving_doors

Some people spend years in college and thousands of euro to learn life lessons.

You just spent €10 to learn an important one.
Consider it a good investment.

Be patient though, the wheel will turn and this guy will need a dig out of some sort in the future.... just have popcorn on hand to watch him while he begs.

OP is there an age gap at play here?

I remember when i was a young lad, working here and there, I was oblivious to the value of money even though I was earning my own. If someone paid for a drink I'd (genuinely) forget to seek them out in order to return the favour. These days, I'd be mortified not to.

Young people with a week's wages in their pocket can sometimes be unacquainted with the worries of mortgages and bills, and the shortage of money that accompanies these adult necessities.

I don't think you're being stingy, but I'm not sure the other guy was taking you for a ride either. He was perhaps being flimsy with money out of a lack of awareness of your circumstances, which, of course, is not an excuse for his behaviour.

99problems

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

OP is there an age gap at play here?

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

I remember when i was a young lad, working here and there, I was oblivious to the value of money even though I was earning my own. If someone paid for a drink I'd (genuinely) forget to seek them out in order to return the favour. These days, I'd be mortified not to.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

Young people with a week's wages in their pocket can sometimes be unacquainted with the worries of mortgages and bills, and the shortage of money that accompanies these adult necessities.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote:

I don't think you're being stingy, but I'm not sure the other guy was taking you for a ride either. He was perhaps being flimsy with money out of a lack of awareness of your circumstances, which, of course, is not an excuse for his behaviour.

There is an age gap but he is atleast twenty years older than me. I know maybe he sees me helping other lads out of a jam the odd time and probably saw me as easy pickings but it won't happen again.

99problems

Gebgbegb wrote:

Be patient though, the wheel will turn and this guy will need a dig out of some sort in the future.... just have popcorn on hand to watch him while he begs.

I wish I had time to have the last laugh , by next month he will be laughing at me in his secure job while I trapes around trying to find a new one , not that I haven't started looking already . I really should have went to college but that's another story for another day.

tayto lover

OP you should let it go and say nothing to him. You can get him in the long grass at a future date. What goes round, comes round.

99problems

tayto lover wrote:

OP you should let it go and say nothing to him. You can get him in the long grass at a future date. What goes round, comes round.

I had intended to let it go , I just thought maybe I'm just being petty so I wanted opinions , it appears I was right all along .