Celtic Phoenix: return of the notions

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:28pm #1

Just witnessed two ladies rock up to an extremely busy bar in the city centre and ask if they could sample the two IPA's that were on draught. Barman didn't look delighted with the request but obliged.

After a lengthy discussion (which the barman was expected to listen to intently) both IPA's were found wanting and a sample of a third drink (didn't catch what) was requested. The request did little by way of cheering up the barman but sportingly he threw out a third sample.

The body language of the two ladies suggested the third sample was not being altogether well received but the barman cut across them before they had a chance to ask for a forth and asked them if they would like to sample the Beamish. The ladies took the hint and ordered two of the third drink, not looking altogether delighted with the outcome.

Imagine walking into a restaurant and asking for a fork full of three different dinners before you decided what to order.

Question basically is has anyone any similar stories.

MilesMorales1 · 23-03-2017 9:31pm

Jesus christ, how much of that conversation did you listen to?

Barry Badrinath · 23-03-2017 9:31pm

No

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:32pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Jesus christ, how much of that conversation did you listen to?

They were talking over my shoulder, I'd rather have not listened

PARlance · 23-03-2017 9:33pm

Was in a shoe shop last weekend and spotted an auld siren trying on 4 pairs of shoes.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 23-03-2017 9:34pm

No, and I don't get the reference to the Celtic Tiger revival. During the Tiger years they would have bought all 3, rejected them and left them undrunk.

SEPT 23 1989 · 23-03-2017 9:34pm

Ladies drink champagne

Peregrine · 23-03-2017 9:34pm

Are you the guy that just sits at the bar? Get out of the way ffs.

osarusan · 23-03-2017 9:34pm

What size were the samples?

I'd say the barman was more annoyed about the time it would take than the samples.

I've had a barman offer me a sample a couple of times when I'd commented on a beer I hadn't drunk before.

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:34pm

PARlance wrote: »

Was in a shoe shop last weekend and spotted an auld siren trying on 4 pairs of shoes.

How many feet had she?

housetypeb · 23-03-2017 9:35pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

They were talking over my shoulder, I'd rather have not listened

Did they at least rest their boobs on your shoulders? You being a dwarf and all.

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:36pm

osarusan wrote: »

What size were the samples?

I'd say the barman was more annoyed about the time it would take than the samples.

I've had a barman offer me a sample a couple of times when I'd commented on a beer I hadn't drunk before.

Oh absolutely, but I'm more taking issue with the time than the samples as well. The samples were tiny, it's the ignorance of a que of other customers that annoyed me.

Jack the Stripper · 23-03-2017 9:37pm

Did she play with her fiddle?

johnnyskeleton · 23-03-2017 9:45pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

The body language of the two ladies suggested the third sample was not being altogether well received but the barman cut across them before they had a chance to ask for a forth and asked them if they would like to sample the Beamish. The ladies took the hint and ordered two of the third drink, not looking altogether delighted with the outcome.

So let me get this straight....two uppity women (sans chaperone) go into the bar instead of the lounge, then order beer like a bunch of men but before they do, they have the gaul to pretend to be able to discern the subtelties of three different ipas, when we all know that women arent born with such expertise, and then eventually order two pints, not halves, but full on hard for their delicate hands to hold pints of beer.

But the worst part is that these harpies from hell did so knowing that there was a man present who would have no choice but to publicise it on the internet. Theyre such attention seekers!

Edit: just got your "celtic tiger" reference after posting. Yeah, the cheeky tarts probably bought the beers from their own money that they got from working

PARlance · 23-03-2017 9:45pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

Oh absolutely, but I'm more taking issue with the time than the samples as well. The samples were tiny, it's the ignorance of a que of other customers that annoyed me.

And how it is representative of former Celtic Tiger ways? It sounds like a quite frugal approach. Annoying if you were stuck behind them but quite sensible. They saved themselves a few quid on buying something they didn't like.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 23-03-2017 9:50pm

I was recently in a new bar that specialises in craft beers. I'm not a beer drinker so at the bar I asked the barman which was the nicest one. He recommended two and said he'd give me a sample of each to see which one I'd like. I would never ask for samples but he offered and he seemed genuinely interested in explaining the differences between the two. I don't think they sounded difficult, perhaps the barman just wasn't particularly interested in his job

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:51pm

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

So let me get this straight....two uppity women (sans chaperone) go into the bar instead of the lounge, then order beer like a bunch of men but before they do, they have the gaul to pretend to be able to discern the subtelties of three different ipas, when we all know that women arent born with such expertise, and then eventually order two pints, not halves, but full on hard for their delicate hands to hold pints of beer.

But the worst part is that these harpies from hell did so knowing that there was a man present who would have no choice but to publicise it on the internet. Theyre such attention seekers!

Edit: just got your "celtic tiger" reference after posting. Yeah, the cheeky tarts probably bought the beers from their own money that they got from working

I'd have put the same text up with different pronouns if it was two men ordering the drinks and a woman behind the bar.

Omackeral · 23-03-2017 9:51pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

Just witnessed two ladies rock up......

The first line of your post tells me that the boom is back baby. Anyone rocking up anywhere is a sure-fire sign of that.

osarusan · 23-03-2017 9:53pm

Did they comment on hoppy flavours or subtle hints of fruit or how it danced on their palate?

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 9:53pm

PARlance wrote: »

And how it is representative of former Celtic Tiger ways? It sounds like a quite frugal approach. Annoying if you were stuck behind them but quite sensible. They saved themselves a few quid on buying something they didn't like.

Its about the notions.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 23-03-2017 9:58pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

Its about the notions.

People have always had notions. Even when they didn't have an arse in their trousers. Nothing new.

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 10:01pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I was recently in a new bar that specialises in craft beers. I'm not a beer drinker so at the bar I asked the barman which was the nicest one. He recommended two and said he'd give me a sample of each to see which one I'd like. I would never ask for samples but he offered and he seemed genuinely interested in explaining the differences between the two. I don't think they sounded difficult, perhaps the barman just wasn't particularly interested in his job

To be fair there's a difference between being offered two in a bar that specialises in craft beer and being on the verge of requesting a forth in a run of the mill, extremely busy bar.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at anyone sampling a beer in say, The Porterhouse (assuming the bar wasn't wedged). But there's a time and a place.

biko · 23-03-2017 10:10pm

I've been left waiting while the hipster bartender were discussing with a hipster customer the various pros and cons of almost every fecking craft beer in the house.
Both had beardy notions of grandeur.

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 10:13pm

biko wrote: »

I've been left waiting while the hipster bartender were discussing with a hipster customer the various pros and cons of almost every fecking craft beer in the house.
Both had beardy notions of grandeur.

At least the hipsters in question were holding up the whole bar in an establishment that condoned it.

buried · 23-03-2017 10:18pm

'Celtic Phoenix' sounds like a daft craft beer name. One that tastes like absolute p!sswater

tabby aspreme · 23-03-2017 10:26pm

biko wrote: »

I've been left waiting while the hipster bartender were discussing with a hipster customer the various pros and cons of almost every fecking craft beer in the house.
Both had beardy notions of grandeur.

Perhaps they were two bearded ladies

bleg · 23-03-2017 10:28pm

Pretty common over here in NZ.

retalivity · 23-03-2017 10:32pm

Ive already taken my partition wall made of decking down and put it out the back again. Now to lease a hot tub...

Dwarf.Shortage · 23-03-2017 10:37pm

retalivity wrote: »

Ive already taken my partition wall made of decking down and put it out the back again. Now to lease a hot tub...

I'd forgotten that decking became synonymous with notions last time around, weird that a country where you can sit outside in the evening maybe 30-40 evenings a year went mad for decking.

Roger Hassenforder · 23-03-2017 10:46pm

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

I'd forgotten that decking became synonymous with notions last time around, weird that a country where you can sit outside in the evening maybe 30-40 evenings a year went mad for decking.

I'd say you could drop those '0's there.

melloa · 23-03-2017 10:48pm

we're gonna be rich

again

Your Face · 23-03-2017 11:06pm

Sounds like the barman didn't like this particular part of his job.
He might have to work on that.

thefishone · 23-03-2017 11:46pm

Ok........What's an IPA, never had a pint of that before

Cookie_Monster · 23-03-2017 11:50pm

That's pretty standard tbh. Have to try a craft beer before buying a pint, 99% of them taste like ****e after all

Dwarf.Shortage · 24-03-2017 12:01am

thefishone wrote: »

Ok........What's an IPA, never had a pint of that before

Indian Pale Ale, common beardy beer.

Agricola · 24-03-2017 12:01am

Pint of the black nectar and none of yer aul craft bollox, thanks.

KERSPLAT! · 24-03-2017 12:04am

I've read the whole thread and I still haven't a clue what you're giving out about. Two women got some beer samples. Seems the norm in a lot of pubs these days where they sell craft beers.

ToddyDoody · 24-03-2017 12:06am

If this is the celtic phoenix, we wont exist as a race in 500 years

Also, its not an apple its a "fruit piece".

Dwarf.Shortage · 24-03-2017 12:17am

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

I've read the whole thread and I still haven't a clue what you're giving out about. Two women got some beer samples. Seems the norm in a lot of pubs these days where they sell craft beers.

I'm not giving out about anything. I'm taking issue with people occupying an entire busy bar to superficially "sample" multiple beers when in the heel of the hunt they are going to arbitrarily select one and go with it.

KERSPLAT! · 24-03-2017 12:38am

Dwarf.Shortage wrote: »

I'm not giving out about anything. I'm taking issue with people occupying an entire busy bar to superficially "sample" multiple beers when in the heel of the hunt they are going to arbitrarily select one and go with it.

And what has "Celtic Phoenix: return of the notions" got to do with that!?

snowflaker · 24-03-2017 12:44am

Misleading thread title is misleading

Dj Stiggie · 24-03-2017 1:24am

I work in a brewpub, 22 taps. At least they knew what style they wanted. I often have lads wanting five or six tasters of different beers, giving me no context on what they like so I can guide them along and get the queue moving. Thankfully we always have enough staff for the oblivious people who think they're the only ones there and appreciate the subtle differences between cascade and mosaic hops, and the rest of us can serve people who actually want a drink.

In the last place I worked, we had five O'Hara's taps, all totally different styles. Once had a guy come in, 'Yeah I want to taste all the O'Hara's beers before I choose which one'. No man, you can buy a flight or fcuk off.

Still don't get the Celtic Tiger reference though.

ToddyDoody · 24-03-2017 1:26am

I'd say its a case of the way they went about getting samples.

If they did it in a way where they seemed to think they were entitled to this, now we're possibly getting into notiony territory.

Think of the child in the old type sweetshop who asks how much every little sweet is before just getting some crap that's largely all the same anyway.

Dj Stiggie · 24-03-2017 1:27am

And a follow up to the people who complain about the price of craft beer. Aside from the fact that it is more expensive to produce and it is a small scale operation usually, someone has to pay for all the tasters, and it's not going to be the publican.

dr.fuzzenstein · 24-03-2017 5:36am

You know what we call craft beer in Germany? Beer.
As for Heineken and Budweiser? I think they're classed as toxic waste. Never seen them in any pub. And you couldn't class it as beer anyway, but it might be used in a car wash:
http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-1511565/Budweiser-in-World-Cup-deal.html
We were once forced to drink it, never again.
If you like Budweiser, you poor bastard, here, try this, though your brain could go into shock from taste overload:

http://www.budvar.cz/images/beer/packshot-classic-tablet.png

The difference is like a sheep and Scarlet Johansson.

Omackeral · 24-03-2017 5:57am

I always get a laugh at the people who say ''Heineken tastes like p*ss, Budweiser tastes like p*ss.'' You must be drinking some amount of urine to know that. I'd take a cold Heineken not a problem if it's going and I'd wager most beer drinkers would too. You can enjoy more refined beers without needing to dump all over mainstream ones while you're at it, it's ok like.

dr.fuzzenstein · 24-03-2017 6:15am

Omackeral wrote: »

I always get a laugh at the people who say ''Heineken tastes like p*ss, Budweiser tastes like p*ss.'' You must be drinking some amount of urine to know that. I'd take a cold Heineken not a problem if it's going and I'd wager most beer drinkers would too. You can enjoy more refined beers without needing to dump all over mainstream ones while you're at it, it's ok like.

Well, Budweiser tastes like piss, Heineken tastes like chemical waste, but that could have something to do with it being brewed under license in Ireland.
It's not about refined or craft beer, the beer I like is quite mainstream (mainstream here), Bit, Becks, Krombacher and after that there's a million small breweries here, they were never considered wanky or pretentious. B and H just are terrible beers. I'm really no Hipster when it comes to beer (and nothing wrong with that), I'm quite a meat and potato guy beerwise.

24-03-2017 6:15am

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

The difference is like a sheep and Scarlet Johansson.

Not much difference on a dark winter night when you're wearing a pair of leaky wellies, the breeze is kissing your arse cheeks and you're all wound up and ready to go.

That pair of eejits would be fed a few tasters from the slop tray if it was me having to listen to their drivel.

Cookie_Monster · 24-03-2017 6:47am

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Well, Budweiser tastes like piss, Heineken tastes like chemical waste, but that could have something to do with it being brewed under license in Ireland.
It's not about refined or craft beer, the beer I like is quite mainstream (mainstream here), Bit, Becks, Krombacher and after that there's a million small breweries here, they were never considered wanky or pretentious. B and H just are terrible beers. I'm really no Hipster when it comes to beer (and nothing wrong with that), I'm quite a meat and potato guy beerwise.

budwieser technically isn't even a beer. it's got rice in it. Heineken in NZ is really nice and I drink it by default, its 100% different to EU stuff, which i cannot stomach at all.

Collie D · 24-03-2017 7:29am

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

And a follow up to the people who complain about the price of craft beer. Aside from the fact that it is more expensive to produce and it is a small scale operation usually, someone has to pay for all the tasters, and it's not going to be the publican.

I've been told the opposite by the owner of a craft pub chain. He reckons if places are making their own beer they're cutting out the brewery cost and they've no excuse for their prices.

His chain charge less than a fiver a pint to back up his claim.

Pinch Flat · 24-03-2017 7:41am

I'm trying out two artic spas at the moment. Thinking of having one in the bathroom upstairs and one on the decking in the back garden.

Celtic Phoenix: return of the notions

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