I think my husband may have overheard my conversation

kleefarr · 13-01-2017 12:17AM

Alcohol, the cause of so many problems.

Hope it works out ok and I would advise coming straight out and talking about it. He is your husband.

StolenKrone · 13-01-2017 12:21AM

He is not pleased about the past & understandably so. You left it late to tell him. This can be a huge deal breaker.

Panthro · 13-01-2017 12:24AM

Give up the bum

JennyS3 · 13-01-2017 12:33AM

Elemonator wrote: »

I think you are paranoid OP! He is your forever man, if he heard it all, he will be honest with you down the line. Put his mind at rest and make sure to emphasise it was in the past.

Just my 2c. Hope it helps as I've never been in this situation. Best of luck!

For sure he is my forever man !! It's just that I can't just say it's in the past because I'm positive he would never think that I'd do such stuff. I think he'd be shocked and not impressed...

JennyS3 · 13-01-2017 12:35AM

kleefarr wrote: »

Alcohol, the cause of so many problems.
Hope it works out ok and I would advise coming straight out and talking about it. He is your husband.

You might be right it's just that I'm scared. And how do I bring it up and what do I say?? Ugg!

Mr Arrior · 13-01-2017 12:39AM

OP overall it is not a breaking point. He may be shocked but you didn't cheat on him or anything. If he is your forever man, he'll have no problem getting over it.

andekwarhola · 13-01-2017 12:40AM

JennyS3 wrote: »

Ugg!

Has he started up the Brenda Fricker already?

December2012 · 13-01-2017 12:42AM

Well, why does he think you would never do that?

Did he ask you before? Did you lie?

readytosnap · 13-01-2017 12:43AM

JennyS3 wrote: »

For sure he is my forever man !! It's just that I can't just say it's in the past because I'm positive he would never think that I'd do such stuff. I think he'd be shocked and not impressed...

Maybe he had a Threesome with yer man and your wan and now thinks that you know about it.

I think your best option would be to tell all of us what else you did in the past then we can all pontificate, you know it makes sense.

Jim Bob Scratcher · 13-01-2017 12:43AM

If i was your husband I'd dump you right on the spot tbh

13-01-2017 12:44AM

bluewolf wrote: »

"she"

'Her' girlfriend 'asked if she remembered', all 'giggly'.

Sounds realistic. You know how forgettable those threesomes can be.

andekwarhola · 13-01-2017 12:45AM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

If i was your husband I'd dump you right on the spot tbh

She already said he's not into kinky stuff.

OxfordColours · 13-01-2017 12:46AM

Why not just do some kinky **** with your husband? Im sure he wont mind.

As with a lot of women and their 'forever man' they actually have no interest in doing the wild stuff with him... Everyone knows that. Ever been with a woman who's in a relationship, or engaged/married? You get some wild action out of them. The disrespect goes deep, sometimes they'll even say "I don't even do that with X". I used to laugh so hard at it. Now I'm in a relationship, and hopefully I'm not at the receiving end of the stick!

myshirt · 13-01-2017 12:48AM

Have you consulted the local priest?

readytosnap · 13-01-2017 12:49AM

myshirt wrote: »

Have you consulted the local priest?

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

Ted111 · 13-01-2017 12:51AM

Forever?
Forever ever.

Jim Bob Scratcher · 13-01-2017 12:52AM

readytosnap wrote: »

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

It was funny the first time, but now it's getting old

myshirt · 13-01-2017 12:52AM

readytosnap wrote: »

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

But she did say she wasn't adverse to a fan of bums.

OxfordColours · 13-01-2017 12:58AM

Husband probably even tried to have anal with OP, and she probably said that she's not into it. Man probably gets an annual half-hearted bj if he's lucky....

BBDBB · 13-01-2017 01:02AM

poor fella is probably a bit shocked and confused about how you were in the past versus how you are now, he might be a bit angry that you were having the conversation in a public environment and he had to find out by overhearing it rather than hearing it from you

choose your moment and ask him whats on his mind as hes been very quiet recently

BrianG23 · 13-01-2017 01:15AM

If you're gonna lie to someone about your past, better not to speech of it in public.

Now, i'm strapped to my bed waiting for you and this friend.

vicwatson · 13-01-2017 09:22AM

You American op? - "girlfriend"

AnneFrank · 13-01-2017 09:27AM

the husband will now be thinking what else you haven't told him,
and i don't blame him, then writing about it here looking for other ways to trick or lie to him makes it worse.
I feel sorry for him

Jawgap · 13-01-2017 09:34AM

JennyS3 wrote: »

I'm worried about something that happened on Monday and I could really use some advice.
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. Our life together has been really really great. (We recently started talking about having a baby!)
Anyway to make a long story shorter, when we were dating I realized that he was, let's just say, less experienced than I was. I didn't want him to feel awkward or make things weird so I basically toned down my experience. It was not a big deal and I knew that he was my forever man.
This past Monday we were at a couple's home for a party. There were a bunch of people there - some we knew, some we didn't. Anyway, at some point I was in the kitchen with my girlfriend - she and I go back forever. We were both a bit tipsy and she started gossiping about a guy who was there. That guy was a guy I "dated" in the past. It started on a physical level and never got serious. He was all about the physical and all sorts of edgy (he liked the bum). One time he convinced me to try to bring my girlfriend in.... which I did... Anyway, she brought that up and was all giggly and asking if I remembered.
I think, but I'm not positive, that at some point, out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband. When I turned around he wasn't there. I asked my girlfriend if she saw him. She said no she didn't and that I was imagining things. Anyway, the conversation ended right there and then. I got really worried that he may have heard us. I don't know for sure though. And if he did, I don't know what and how much he heard. When we got back to the party he was there and seemed OK. On the drive home though, I thought he was kind of quiet but I wasn't sure.
I've been stressing ever since. My husband does not know about that guy at all - let alone the stuff we did together. He also doesn't know of the sorts of things I did in the past. In the last couple of days he has just not been himself. He seems a bit distant or distracted or something. So I'm stressing that he did overhear.
I just don't know what to do right now. If he did hear, maybe I should say something before he does. Is that a good idea? And if it is, how do I bring it up and what do I say? Or should I let him bring it up? What if he doesn't bring it up? And then there's a chance he didn't hear and I'm just being paranoid and I should just keep my mouth shut.
I don't know what the best thing to do is. I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.

Sorry, which straight-to-DVD bad US melodrama is this from again?

Anyway, if it's true and your forever man was lurking nearby it's because of your 'girlfriend' not you - he clearly wants to bang her and your presence, while optional, would also be appreciated

The flying mouse · 13-01-2017 10:08AM

Don't think most couples don't want to know about each others past sexual endeavours, They know they happened but who wants to know the details ?? If he is your forever man & he feels the same about you, just carry on, the past is the past, no point anyone living in it.

Sleepy · 13-01-2017 10:41AM

I'd have no problem with a partner's sexual history, I would, however, be fairly extremely off if I found out she was deliberately being boring in bed.