I think my husband may have overheard my conversation

JennyS3

I'm worried about something that happened on Monday and I could really use some advice.
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. Our life together has been really really great. (We recently started talking about having a baby!) 
Anyway to make a long story shorter, when we were dating I realized that he was, let's just say, less experienced than I was. I didn't want him to feel awkward or make things weird so I basically toned down my experience. It was not a big deal and I knew that he was my forever man.
This past Monday we were at a couple's home for a party. There were a bunch of people there - some we knew, some we didn't. Anyway, at some point I was in the kitchen with my girlfriend - she and I go back forever. We were both a bit tipsy and she started gossiping about a guy who was there. That guy was a guy I "dated" in the past. It started on a physical level and never got serious. He was all about the physical and all sorts of edgy (he liked the bum).  One time he convinced me to try to bring my girlfriend in.... which I did...  Anyway, she brought that up and was all giggly and asking if I remembered.  
I think, but I'm not positive, that at some point, out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband. When I turned around he wasn't there. I asked my girlfriend if she saw him. She said no she didn't and that I was imagining things. Anyway, the conversation ended right there and then. I got really worried that he may have heard us. I don't know for sure though. And if he did, I don't know what and how much he heard. When we got back to the party he was there and seemed OK.  On the drive home though, I thought he was kind of quiet but I wasn't sure.
I've been stressing ever since. My husband does not know about that guy at all - let alone the stuff we did together. He also doesn't know of the sorts of things I did in the past.  In the last couple of days he has just not been himself. He seems a bit distant or distracted or something. So I'm stressing that he did overhear.
I just don't know what to do right now. If he did hear, maybe I should say something before he does. Is that a good idea? And if it is, how do I bring it up and what do I say? Or should I let him bring it up? What if he doesn't bring it up? And then there's a chance he didn't hear and I'm just being paranoid and I should just keep my mouth shut.
I don't know what the best thing to do is. I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.

jonon9

Why not just do some kinky **** with your husband? Im sure he wont mind.

lollsangel

I wold just say to him that he seem's quiet the last few days and is everything alright.

Surreptitious

Follows thread.

bmwguy

Thank God you chose after hours for this question!

Could I have your number? And your friends? We can setup a whatsapp group and meet up!

Omackeral

Do you know what would be really kinky? If you gave him a few paragraphs.

s4uv3

He's quiet because he's trying to figure out how to ask you for another threesome.

somefeen

jonon9 wrote: »

Why not just do some kinky **** with your husband? Im sure he wont mind.

Agreed

Threesome and bum fun and he won't feel like he's missing out.

As long as you would still be willing to do these things with him I doubt he'd have a major problem.
Thats assuming he's into it and you still are as well.

It just that he might feel like you are somehow less sexual with him than this other guy. That would hurt and he might question why?

drunkmonkey

You could start with a blowjob, if he's still feeling down there must be something up.

silverharp

.. And getting back to the sort of stuff you used to do in the past? omit no details howerer minor

tea and coffee

You're probably being quieter as you're worried he heard you and any ensuing conversation that he might have with you about that , so he's possibly just reacting to you.

Edited to add : I'd probably ask to have this moved to Relationship Issues rather than After Hours given the above ripostes are par for the course on AH - no offence lads

KERSPLAT!

drunkmonkey wrote: »

You could start with a blowjob, if he's still feeling down there must be something up.

There'll definitely be something up...

Elemonator

I think you are paranoid OP! He is your forever man, if he heard it all, he will be honest with you down the line. Put his mind at rest and make sure to emphasise it was in the past.

Just my 2c. Hope it helps as I've never been in this situation. Best of luck!

893bet

2/10.



Also is the bum "edgy"?

jonon9

drunkmonkey wrote: »

You could start with a blowjob, if he's still feeling down there must be something up.

Hope not

SEPT 23 1989

Must have been a sh1te party if you can remember anything

learn_more

MOD: MOVED TO RECREATION & HOBBIES > GAMBLING

JeffKenna

I feel sorry for your husband. Taking it up the bum and having 3somes with random guys yet when you've found Mr. Forever you won't do any of that with him.

I'm sure the husband is aware you have had a sexual history before you met him.

It'd be different if, as said above, you were all wild and kinky but wouldnt do anything with him (ie he wanted to do anal and you refused, but talked about doing it with others etc) but if you're still down for all that kinda craic then I don't see what the issue is..?

antodeco

He's probably thinking that other guy is just a pain in the ass

dar100

First post trolling

JeffKenna

dar100 wrote: »

First post trolling

You're trolling

buried

Monday nights are great party nights. All the stories come out

The J Stands for Jay

He heard the conversation about the threesome and was disappointed not to be bringing your girlfriend home from the party too.

andekwarhola

I'm imagining 'He Liked Ze Bum' in a Dutch porn accent.

Pinch Flat

Like throwing a sausage up O'Connell street, as the fella said.

Sam Kade

Op joins boards to tell everyone that she got done in the butt then stands back keeping an eye on the thread without any response. The husband obviously never got any back door action.

Sam Kade

Sam Kade wrote: »

Op joins boards to tell everyone that she got done in the butt then stands back keeping an eye on the thread without any response.

"she"

Every thread about sex that is started by a new poster posting for their first time I think...

Oh God, when will he get on to the whole chore sex fixation.

Outlaw Pete

You're girlfriend wants another threesome.

Not that I believe you're real or that this happened... but if it did........ she's mad for some wife swapping.

Poor Uncle Tom

bluewolf wrote: »

"she"

:P

well spotted.....

kleefarr

Alcohol, the cause of so many problems.
Hope it works out ok and I would advise coming straight out and talking about it. He is your husband.

StolenKrone

He is not pleased about the past & understandably so. You left it late to tell him. This can be a huge deal breaker.

Panthro

Give up the bum

JennyS3

Elemonator wrote: »

I think you are paranoid OP! He is your forever man, if he heard it all, he will be honest with you down the line. Put his mind at rest and make sure to emphasise it was in the past.

Just my 2c. Hope it helps as I've never been in this situation. Best of luck!

For sure he is my forever man !!  It's just that I can't just say it's in the past because I'm positive he would never think that I'd do such stuff.  I think he'd be shocked and not impressed...

JennyS3

kleefarr wrote: »

Alcohol, the cause of so many problems.
Hope it works out ok and I would advise coming straight out and talking about it. He is your husband.

You might be right it's just that I'm scared. And how do I bring it up and what do I say??  Ugg!

Mr Arrior

OP overall it is not a breaking point. He may be shocked but you didn't cheat on him or anything. If he is your forever man, he'll have no problem getting over it.

andekwarhola

JennyS3 wrote: »

Ugg!

Has he started up the Brenda Fricker already?

December2012

Well, why does he think you would never do that?

Did he ask you before? Did you lie?

readytosnap

JennyS3 wrote: »

For sure he is my forever man !!  It's just that I can't just say it's in the past because I'm positive he would never think that I'd do such stuff.  I think he'd be shocked and not impressed...

Maybe he had a Threesome with yer man and your wan and now thinks that you know about it.

I think your best option would be to tell all of us what else you did in the past then we can all pontificate, you know it makes sense.

Jim Bob Scratcher

If i was your husband I'd dump you right on the spot tbh

bluewolf

bluewolf wrote: »

"she"

'Her' girlfriend 'asked if she remembered', all 'giggly'.

Sounds realistic. You know how forgettable those threesomes can be.

andekwarhola

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

If i was your husband I'd dump you right on the spot tbh

She already said he's not into kinky stuff.

OxfordColours

Why not just do some kinky **** with your husband? Im sure he wont mind.

As with a lot of women and their 'forever man' they actually have no interest in doing the wild stuff with him... Everyone knows that. Ever been with a woman who's in a relationship, or engaged/married? You get some wild action out of them. The disrespect goes deep, sometimes they'll even say "I don't even do that with X". I used to laugh so hard at it. Now I'm in a relationship, and hopefully I'm not at the receiving end of the stick!

myshirt

Have you consulted the local priest?

readytosnap

myshirt wrote: »

Have you consulted the local priest?

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

Ted111

Forever?
Forever ever.

Jim Bob Scratcher

readytosnap wrote: »

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

It was funny the first time, but now it's getting old

myshirt

readytosnap wrote: »

She already said he wasn't into kinky stuff

But she did say she wasn't adverse to a fan of bums.

OxfordColours

Husband probably even tried to have anal with OP, and she probably said that she's not into it. Man probably gets an annual half-hearted bj if he's lucky....

BBDBB

poor fella is probably a bit shocked and confused about how you were in the past versus how you are now, he might be a bit angry that you were having the conversation in a public environment and he had to find out by overhearing it rather than hearing it from you

choose your moment and ask him whats on his mind as hes been very quiet recently