Terrorised in our own home

dunnerc · 03-01-2017 12:37PM

Rmgblue wrote: »

Where did she say the guards are ignoring ****? Is it not reasonable to accept that they might not have had a car in the area at the time? Going to the local super is a better idea rather that gsoc! GSOC I'm sure are up the walls dealing with other fabricated complaints

But if it was joan burton or any other politician a car would be available within seconds .

irishgeo · 03-01-2017 12:43PM

i bet if the OP said they stabbed one of the scummers the cops would be around in a shot.

freedominacup · 03-01-2017 12:46PM

sharkfox wrote: »

Do you know anyone around the area that they might have some respect for or even be afraid of that could have a word with them for you?

This. More about knowing the elders though. Half the time these sorts of jokers aren't anything like as connected as they like to think. We had a similar problem here in ways. It was dealt with in this way. Someone knows someone. Always pays to do a few favours for people. You never know when you might need something in return.

FTA69 · 03-01-2017 12:47PM

Awful, awful situation. I really despair for you OP honestly I do. I'm from a council estate myself and witnessed stuff like this happening before and it can happen to anyone. An estate in Cork recently saw something like 20 families move out due to this sort of carry on from a couple of families. I've just moved into a new house and the thought of this happening to me fills me with dread to be honest, it literally destroys lives. As for solutions:

1) Someone mentioned calling around to the ringleader's parents - this isn't necessarily a bad plan although it could go either way. A line to take would be: "Look, our sons had a dispute and now it has escalated to the point he was threatened with a knife. Your son and his buddies have been outside our gaff and our window has been broken. I've lived in this area for x years and I'm from y. I'm not into calling the cops or any of that sort of sh*te over this sort of thing. I just want it sorted out so we can all move on because otherwise it's going to end up in a sh*t situation for everybody. I'm willing to have the two of them shake hands now and forget about it."

That may yield results. His family may not be total and utter degenerates and their son may just be doing the b*llox and his old man may not want the cops calling around and the rest of that hassle. It could be worth a try.

2) Someone mentioned the Sinn Féin councillor. This isn't a bad plan either. Not for the wink nudgery aspect of it, rather because they often know who is who in the area and can possibly advise you on what to do or at the very least who the families worth talking to are. They aren't going to intervene and will advise you to deal with the cops but local perspective is good.

3) As a last resort you have to consider moving. Nobody can live like that and your son may end up in real trouble.

Rustyjessy · 03-01-2017 12:53PM

Ring Joe Duffy today

Stealthfins · 03-01-2017 12:54PM

This story reminds me of when I and my friends were being picked on by a gang for years.

This was settled eventually and we all ended up shaking hands after it was a tough slog but we came out standing and the head guy of the gang said fair play to you lads,never knew ye had it in ye.

We were 18 they were in their mid 20's at this stage....All way older than us but we somehow out grew most of them physically....

Anyhow we walked past them by the local chipper one night there was snow on the ground,one of them said something nasty that was it....

One of our group said it's now or never,he just went postal on the mouthpiece...

It was broken up after 5 minutes my friend a good street fighter so he took down the big guy of the hard family, flattened him...

We earned their respect.

We're all talking now,grew up and have kids of our own.

I wouldn't condone it but sometimes fight fire with fire...

This was 1996 lol boys will by boys

RobertKK · 03-01-2017 12:55PM

This sounds horrific, would absolutely hate to live in fear like this.
There has been plenty of advice given and I have no experience, lived in the countryside all my life and no problems like this. I have neighbours who moved from Dublin years ago and I never liked asking them so didn't, but I did get the impression it was a rough area and they said they would never go back to Dublin to live, that they love the peace and quiet they now have.
Hope something for your situation can be done, as it is no way to live.

r93kaey5p2izun · 03-01-2017 12:55PM

Yes, knowing someone "influential" in the community might help but I don't think the OP's situation is a straightforward one in that regard. Sounds like she is living on the border between two quite different areas and is associating herself (quite understandably) with the nicer area - and she will be in a tiny minority doing that based on the demographics locally. It leaves you living among a community but with no real connection to it and no supports in times like this.

OP if you have any way of seeking help from the local youth service where these lads likely come from they are great and there are some strong community leaders there. It's hard if you are living local but not really involved in that community but they are the ones with the connections and influence to step in.

murphydublin · 03-01-2017 12:55PM

The guards advised they cannot take a statement over the phone and will not look into this for us until we go all the way back to dublin to make a statement. What statement we weren't there when the van and window were smashed. To drive for hours and hours back to a house where I'm terrified to stay in?. I am renting btwand the landlord is v good replacing windows etc today but I said he may be better to board the window up as these knackers will be back if the guards have done nothing

murphydublin · 03-01-2017 12:57PM

It's 3 days into the new year I've no funds for a new deposit and month up front should we have to move . We could make it work if we have to but it is shocking in this day and age that a hardworking family with 3 great kids are run from there home by a bunch of teenage knackers. I havent slept or eaten since sunday and juse want to wake from this nightmare

_Kaiser_ · 03-01-2017 12:58PM

irishgeo wrote: »

i bet if the OP said they stabbed one of the scummers the cops would be around in a shot.

Indeed. Ordinary, generally law-abiding people are always the easiest targets both for scum like the OP is dealing with, and for the Gardai who are unwilling to tackle the real problem.

Unfortunately the reality is that decent, professional Gardai who take the job and the responsibilities it comes with seriously are the exception rather than the norm in my experience. Just look at the reports from Donegal, or Cavan or how the Whistleblowers were treated by their own colleagues, or the Callinan/Shatter mess.

The Gardai are in a lot of instances as big a problem as those they are supposed to protect the rest of us from.

FTA69 · 03-01-2017 12:58PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

This story reminds me of when I and my friends were being picked on by a gang for years.

This was settled eventually and we all ended up shaking hands after it was a tough slog but we came out standing and the head guy of the gang said fair play to you lads,never knew ye had it in ye.

We were 18 they were in their mid 20's at this stage....All way older than us but we somehow out grew most of them physically....

Anyhow we walked past them by the local chipper one night there was snow on the ground,one of them said something nasty that was it....

One of our group said it's now or never,he just went postal on the mouthpiece...

It was broken up after 5 minutes my friend a good street fighter so he took down the big guy of the hard family, flattened him...

We earned their respect.

We're all talking now,grew up and have kids of our own.

I wouldn't condone it but sometimes fight fire with fire...

This was 1996 lol boys will by boys

Yeah boys will be boys my hole. This isn't two groups of mates hopping off each other. It's a 14 year old kid being vicitimised and threatened with weapons by a gang intent on kicking the sh*t out of him and terrorising an innocent family.

Sending him out to duke it out won't be much comfort when 5 of them are dancing on his head.

Cop on.

dar100 · 03-01-2017 01:01PM

Back in the day, a 1-1 fist fight with the main person in the group would sort it out, shake hands afterwards, maybe a few small cuts or bruises, but no long lasting damage or emotional issues.

Op these people only understand this method of sorting issues out!!

I fear guards etc will just make things worse, especially as no hard evidence will mean no charges and the culprits knowing you have contacted them

team_actimel · 03-01-2017 01:02PM

murphydublin wrote: »

It's 3 days into the new year I've no funds for a new deposit and month up front should we have to move . We could make it work if we have to but it is shocking in this day and age that a hardworking family with 3 great kids are run from there home by a bunch of teenage knackers. I havent slept or eaten since sunday and juse want to wake from this nightmare

Are there any relations or close friends you could borrow the money for deposit and months rent from? I'd be out of there ASAP if I were you.

clairewithani · 03-01-2017 01:05PM

+1 on move out
I thought you owned your house and it would be difficult to move but if you are renting leg it.

punisher5112 · 03-01-2017 01:09PM

Op move. Go see LL and come to agreement if possible with deposit and such and get somewhere else.

Is there more to this or is full story being told.

It won't stop by the sounds of it.

Stealthfins · 03-01-2017 01:10PM

murphydublin wrote:

It's 3 days into the new year I've no funds for a new deposit and month up front should we have to move . We could make it work if we have to but it is shocking in this day and age that a hardworking family with 3 great kids are run from there home by a bunch of teenage knackers. I havent slept or eaten since sunday and juse want to wake from this nightmare

I really do wish you well and hope you get out of there.
I'm lucky to be living in a quiet area and have experienced what ye are going through in the past.
I was similar to your teenage boy,get him out of there fast,he deserves a good life.
If he goes on with this he'll suffer and could end up with social anxiety and could end up having a sad life.

I sometimes get flash backs of being bullied it never really goes away but I learned to live with it and move on...

Autonomous Cowherd · 03-01-2017 01:10PM

murphydublin wrote: »

It's 3 days into the new year I've no funds for a new deposit and month up front should we have to move . We could make it work if we have to but it is shocking in this day and age that a hardworking family with 3 great kids are run from there home by a bunch of teenage knackers. I havent slept or eaten since sunday and juse want to wake from this nightmare

It is shocking. I am very sorry you are experiencing this.
The Credit Union might be able to help with deposit and months rent in advance. I find them great.
Thank goodness it's a rental. As much as you love it, it's not as big a wrench.

People's lives turn on a dime every day. Any of our lives could change in an instant. Car crash. Terminal diagnosis. House Fire. Lotto win. So, you are in the company of the many whose lives are changing abruptly today, and all of us live with that possibility every moment.
There are two ways to deal with change. Resist, or Flow with it. Open or Close. This forced change could turn out to be the most marvelous thing that could ever have happened to ye as a family...who knows? But it will be infinitely easier for you if you just flow with what seems like the path of least resistance and take one task at a time.
Your son might not be telling you all of his terror. He is the most important concern you have in this whole matter whatever you decide to do. Love and best wishes to you!

Stealthfins · 03-01-2017 01:12PM

I said in my post I wouldn't condone it,I was also a victim of this kind of thing...

So maybe you should cop on, I was only telling what happened with me...

So maybe you can retract your "cop on"

Kimbot · 03-01-2017 01:13PM

I have to say, "Moving Out" is the wrong option here. If people keep moving out because of these low lifes then they will only get more of a kick out of it and kept it up eventually getting worse.
This needs to be dealt with head on and the guards have to start taking their finger out eventually.

03-01-2017 01:14PM

This is appalling OP, I really feel for you. I'm from what might be considered by many to be a bit of a sh1thole in Cork, more than a few dealers live in the area and there'd be family feuds and the normal anti social stuff too.

I never had any trouble as one of my best buddies was well respected so by association and by virtue of me never crossing anyone I never encountered any trouble.

I honestly don't think there is a solution for you here. I'm being honest, it's very grim.

If the families involved are actual players they should be thinking what's going on is at best "bad for business" and tell their sprogs to call a halt to it but in most cases many of the off spring from these families are uncontrollable and have no social conscience whatsoever.

If they are just scumbag waster folk it's almost worse again.

Your husband is well intentioned no doubt but you are right to dissuade him from getting physical with them, as they are 16ish they are legally kids and you can be sure if he battered one of them they'd get the AGS involved and get someone else to have a pop off your husband.

Years back a friend did experience similar when his kids were in their young teens. Very similar situation and what he did would be frowned upon by many. He essentially approached one of the families I mentioned in my first paragraph and they sorted it for him for a fee. Now the "luck" he had was that the people terrorising him were just small time scummers with no back up and they were from somewhat respectable families.

If you are renting I'd move as bad as that is, in 3/4 years time you'll thank yourself for it.

Get your kids enrolled in some kickboxing class or similar too, it will help them in their own heads.

clairewithani · 03-01-2017 01:15PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

I said in m you post I wouldn't condone it,I was also a victim of this kind of thing...

So maybe you should cop on, I was only telling what happened with me...

So maybe you car retract your "cop on"

Sorry i have to agree. This is a lone boy against a gang who have tried to use a weapon in the past. It would be stupid to take them on.

Stealthfins · 03-01-2017 01:18PM

clairewithani wrote:

Sorry i have to agree. This is a lone boy against a gang who have tried to use a weapon in the past. It would be stupid to take them on.

I never said anything of the sort about taking them on.

eamonnq · 03-01-2017 01:19PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

I wouldn't condone it but sometimes fight fire with fire...

This was 1996 lol boys will by boys

clairewithani · 03-01-2017 01:21PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

I never said anything of the sort about taking them on.

Apologies but that's how i read it.

03-01-2017 01:21PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

I never said anything of the sort about taking them on.

To be fair your old adversaries sound somewhat respectable ....... no doubt they were hard men or wannabe hard men back in 1996

The folks the OP is dealing with sound like utter scum, they should be in St Pat's or similar.

Kimbot · 03-01-2017 01:23PM

Augeo wrote: »

St Pat's or similar.

On a side note St. Pats is gone now :P

Cant the guards give the gang ASBO's???

Stealthfins · 03-01-2017 01:25PM

Augeo wrote:

To be fair your old adversaries sound somewhat respectable ....... no doubt they were hard men or wannabe hard men back in 1996

Your right there I'll admit that.
They were posh jocks but terrorised us all the same...

1996 was different

03-01-2017 01:27PM

darkdubh wrote: »

Parish priest maybe? Not joking, often the only authority figure that these kind of scummers respect.

If Dessie Ellis is his local TD it should be resolved very quickly. Especially if Dessie, the two Martins and Gerry decide to get together and pay the visit. If not, expect Dessie to bring the little bastards and their reject parents all the way to the Supreme Court and win (again).

Scrap all that: just get in touch with Mary Lou and she'll sort them all out (including Dessie et al). Seriously, get in touch with your local SF TD. The smoked salmon socialists in Labour are painfully hopeless. The Blueshirts won't want to know about poorer areas and Fianna Fail reps will culturally be a bit more accommodating than Fine Gael but nowadays not much. Unfortunately Sinn Fein is the only party serious about targeting poorer areas for votes. I know one family who went through something similar and they ultimately were forced to leave Dublin for a town in a nearby county.

r93kaey5p2izun · 03-01-2017 01:29PM

jonnycivic wrote: »

On a side note St. Pats is gone now :P

Cant the guards give the gang ASBO's???

ASBOs are a non-runner. They have to go through several steps before getting one - including referral to Garda Diversion projects - the garda have to be active and bothered to be involved before it's even an option. That's the hard part unfortunately.

Terrorised in our own home

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