Children's table manners

evolving_doors · 29-12-2016 07:47PM

nice_guy80 wrote: »

Family came into a nice pub/restaurant the other other day - parents and three kids.
Kids spent 40 minutes running around the place annoying other customers' tables.
Even when their food arrived they didn't sit down to eat.

Not a word was said to the children by their parents to stop them.
I was ready to stick a foot out and trip them as they ran past.

I use that trick to get a seat and served as quick as possible.
The more posh the restaurant the better the service.
As soon as we're in the door..."get to work kids".

evolving_doors · 29-12-2016 07:48PM

Wall1257 wrote: »

Just a quick question. Is it normal for a six and a half year old child to use her fingers when eating? She never uses a knife and fork and her parents are fine with it.

We went out to a restaurant today and her table manners are really bad.
- she used her fingers throughout the meal (of course)
- picked up food that had fallen off her plate onto the floor and tried to eat it.
- rubbed her vegetables across the table to use the salt that fallen on the table
- and a few other things like that.

Is this fairly normal? Maybe I'm expecting too much from a six year old. My daughter is nearly a year older than her and her table manners have been fine since before the age of three ......

I know it's far from the most important thing in a child's development, but is it usual for a six year old to have bad tabke manners? Just curious,
Thanks

Quick question.. what were they eating?

endagibson · 29-12-2016 07:51PM

Mountainsandh wrote: »

I'm happy enough with a "carvery lunch" sort of standard. You might prefer a "French Michelin restaurant etiquette" standard.

Do you think that eating food off the floor with your fingers might be a slightly lower standard again?

IvySlayer · 29-12-2016 07:56PM

amtc wrote: »

Slightly off topic but was once in the Clarence restaurant...and the waiter complained about how I was using my cutlery. I had cut meat and left down my knife and transferred my fork to my right hand to eat.

No tip there!

I hope they were joking or I would be asking for the manager!!

A paying customer who's not bothering anyone except an overly nosy waiter should be able to eat however they wish to.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 29-12-2016 07:59PM

How did this thread escalate to a point where some people think using a knife & fork properly is considered Michelin Star standard?

_Jamie_ · 29-12-2016 08:12PM

Was the child from a different culture or country, OP? In some countries it's pretty normal to eat most things with your hands, even saucy foods. And you wouldn't necessarily change those habits simply because you moved country.

Mountainsandh · 29-12-2016 10:34PM

endagibson wrote: »

Do you think that eating food off the floor with your fingers might be a slightly lower standard again?

That's not really manners though, that's hygiene.

Mountainsandh · 29-12-2016 10:57PM

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

How did this thread escalate to a point where some people think using a knife & fork properly is considered Michelin Star standard?

Now now, no such drama required. Thread isn't "escalating" anywhere, my point is the same : our standards are different. And going all high pitched does not make your standard more valid than mine.

When you go to your local Indian, or to your local hotel for Sunday dinner, do you check how people use their fork and knife ?

If you pay attention to that, and are bothered because they don't hold the knife in the correct hand, or in the correct manner, and they don't use the fork the way you like it...

... then we have different standards.

I simply don't look at how other people use their cutlery when I go out for a meal. It doesn't even register to be honest.

Now, if this was a really classy restaurant, then possibly somebody's struggle with cutlery might look out of place.

(The OP is not about using a knife and fork properly, it's about a 6 year old child not using them at all.)

andekwarhola · 29-12-2016 11:04PM

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

How did this thread escalate to a point where some people think using a knife & fork properly is considered Michelin Star standard?

Just around when you surmised a strange metaphorical escalation in lieu of making an actual point.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 30-12-2016 08:37AM

Mountainsandh wrote: »

When you go to your local Indian, or to your local hotel for Sunday dinner, do you check how people use their fork and knife ?

If you pay attention to that, and are bothered because they don't hold the knife in the correct hand, or in the correct manner, and they don't use the fork the way you like it...

... then we have different standards.

(The OP is not about using a knife and fork properly, it's about a 6 year old child not using them at all.)

If I'm out for a meal and happen to see someone not using their cutlery properly, it just stands out. The latest one the other day was a lad around 20 who loaded both his knife and fork with food and ate from each alternatively, every time. It didn't 'bother me, but it was odd.

And yes, a 6 year old should be able to at least use a fork. I can understand the reason not to use a knife at that age

Sue Pa Key Pa · 30-12-2016 08:40AM

andekwarhola wrote: »

Just around when you surmised a strange metaphorical escalation in lieu of making an actual point.

I've made numerous points in this thread, giving my thoughts on the topic

endagibson · 30-12-2016 11:35AM

_Jamie_ wrote: »

Was the child from a different culture or country, OP? In some countries it's pretty normal to eat most things with your hands, even saucy foods. And you wouldn't necessarily change those habits simply because you moved country.

In which countries is it acceptable to eat food off the floor?

Chuchote · 30-12-2016 11:41AM

This thread reminds me of my mother coming home horrified from a restaurant meal in which a child scratched her head with her fork, in between eating with it. The same child now has flawless manners.

endagibson · 30-12-2016 11:43AM

Chuchote wrote: »

This thread reminds me of my mother coming home horrified from a restaurant meal in which a child scratched her head with her fork, in between eating with it. The same child now has flawless manners.

Would your mother not tell the child to stop? There's no way I'd let someone scratch my head with a fork, eating or not. :eek:

Chuchote · 30-12-2016 12:02PM

endagibson wrote: »

Would your mother not tell the child to stop? There's no way I'd let someone scratch my head with a fork, eating or not. :eek:

My mother wasn't really the type to walk up to someone else's child and say stoppit!

LordSutch · 30-12-2016 12:11PM

A few basics when teaching children.

No eating with your mouth open.
No smacking of lips ...
No slurping.
Don't eat & speak at the same time.
Fork left hand, knife in the right.
No licking the knife.
Elbows down.
Spoon away when taking soup.
Knife & fork together when finished.......

Excuse me

)

LordSutch · 30-12-2016 12:29PM

I should have said ... There are of course foods that don't require cutlery, specially a bag of chips or a McDonald's etc etc etc ... yum yum yum.

endagibson · 30-12-2016 01:15PM

Chuchote wrote: »

My mother wasn't really the type to walk up to someone else's child and say stoppit!

Why not say it when she comes over to scratch her head with the fork?

Big Bag of Chips · 30-12-2016 01:21PM

I think the child was scratching her own head... Not Chuchote's mother's!!

lawred2 · 30-12-2016 02:00PM

LordSutch wrote: »

A few basics when teaching children.

No eating with your mouth open.
No smacking of lips ...
No slurping.
Don't eat & speak at the same time.
Fork left hand, knife in the right.
No licking the knife.
Elbows down.
Spoon away when taking soup.
Knife & fork together when finished.......

Excuse me )

Wouldn't you have left that to the servants?

mohawk · 30-12-2016 02:06PM

LordSutch wrote: »

Fork left hand, knife in the right.

I don't get this one at all. What actual difference does it make what hand you hold your knife and fork in?

endagibson · 30-12-2016 02:09PM

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think the child was scratching her own head... Not Chuchote's mother's!!

Ah.

pickarooney · 30-12-2016 02:10PM

emmetkenny wrote: »

I was at a business lunch a few weeks ago. There was a lady across from me who had just started working with us, her knife and fork in the wrong hands and was holding the fork in a death grip, point down like she was holding a knife to stab someone, and sawing away with her knife. She got food all over the table and chewed constantly with her mouth open and spoke with food in her mouth. It was disgusting. You can tell alot about a person in how they act at a table.

And that woman... was Hillary Clinton

Sue Pa Key Pa · 30-12-2016 02:11PM

mohawk wrote: »

I don't get this one at all. What actual difference does it make what hand you hold your knife and fork in?

Totally agree on that point

I'm left handed and eat the conventional way with the fork in my left hand. My brother is right handed, like the majority of the population, and he eats with a fork in his right hand

amtc · 30-12-2016 02:21PM

I used to sit beside a guy in work and we would get a takeaway from the canteen if eating at our desks.

I would bring my tray back to the canteen whereas he would finish lunch and proceed to put his fork down his back under his shirt to scratch it. He would then wipe the fork not washed and put back in the drawer. I ended up bringing my own in from home.

Back to op, I eat out a lot and the thing of children with tablets bothers me. I have a friend whose child swipes their coffee table at four but doesn't know the alphabet. I was reading at two and three!

amtc · 30-12-2016 02:27PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

amtc wrote: »

Slightly off topic but was once in the Clarence restaurant...and the waiter complained about how I was using my cutlery. I had cut meat and left down my knife and transferred my fork to my right hand to eat.

No tip there!

I hope they were joking or I would be asking for the manager!!

A paying customer who's not bothering anyone except an overly nosy waiter should be able to eat however they wish to.

No they weren't. Made a point of coming over to me and telling me. I had cut a piece of meat, transferred my fork from my left to my right hand
..I am right handed..and ate from that. Then for next cut transferred fork to left and replicated.

I was on a business dinner and was mortified but more annoyed. Anyway they lost a contract out of it

NiallBoo · 30-12-2016 02:36PM

LordSutch wrote: »

I should have said ... There are of course foods that don't require cutlery, specially a bag of chips or a McDonald's etc etc etc ... yum yum yum.

I hate when places don't provide cutlery.

NiallBoo · 30-12-2016 02:38PM

amtc wrote: »

No they weren't. Made a point of coming over to me and telling me. I had cut a piece of meat, transferred my fork from my left to my right hand
..I am right handed..and ate from that. Then for next cut transferred fork to left and replicated.

I was on a business dinner and was mortified but more annoyed. Anyway they lost a contract out of it

Fair play to him.

I also can't believe you'd eat like that on a business dinner. Would you not be worried about what kind of impression you'd make?

pickarooney · 30-12-2016 02:43PM

Rainman16 wrote: »

Bad mother I'd say. She needs to teach her child to use a knife and fork. Something she should have been thought years ago, It's a basic human skill. Shame on the mother.

Some would argue the same about spelling and pronunciation. Not me though, I wouldn't be judgy that way.

pickarooney · 30-12-2016 02:49PM

heldel00 wrote: »

My dad is a stickler for good table manners. (My husband chews like a cowgnawing on her cud just to annoy him!
He came home from work years ago and told us about a new colleague that had eaten their entire dinner using the back of their fingers as the knife.
The laughable part was that this fella thought his sh1t was chocolate and stepped about like he owned the place. How could someone who eats like that be any sort of a threat?!!!

If his fingers are sharp enough to cut steak, I'd feel wary.

Children's table manners

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