Children's table manners

I went au pairing to France as a young one. Their little boy had just turned 3 and had the most impeccable table manners. Ate with a knife and fork! Couldn't cut his own food but bar that ate beautifully. Most Irish kids I knew at the time were like barbarians in comparison.

looksee wrote: »

lawred2 wrote: »

Children acquire these skills are varying rates. They are not a homogenous group of people. Some will use their knife and fork sooner than others. I would say that by school going age I would expect a reasonable level of table manners. However it's not something I would ever get hung up about. Adults with poor table manners is a much bigger problem.

I don't think anyone is hung up, its just a casual conversation. If children were taught table manners then adults would not have poor table manners. I remember seeing a youngish man probably in his mid 20s eating with a group of older men, all suited businessmen having lunch together. The younger one didn't seem to realise that by sitting hunched over, holding his fork in his fist and shovelling food into his mouth from a distance of a few inches he was completely destroying the effect of the smart suit.

Yes obviously. That's why I said I would expect children of school going age to exhibit some level of table manners.

But sure read what you want to read.

My child would do the same, I guess though anyone at the next table would never know her struggles unless she attempts to talk. I would hate to think there was people judging her at the next table but I guess you meet them everywhere.

My dad is a stickler for good table manners. (My husband chews like a cowgnawing on her cud just to annoy him!
He came home from work years ago and told us about a new colleague that had eaten their entire dinner using the back of their fingers as the knife.
The laughable part was that this fella thought his sh1t was chocolate and stepped about like he owned the place. How could someone who eats like that be any sort of a threat?!!!

Some of the cited cases of adults are a bit subjective for the parent-bashing at hand.

If you have an adult displaying poor so-called table manners in a semi-formal/formal meal setting such as a business meal, chances are they just don't really care about it or assign much importance to it, unaccpetable as it may appear to others, depending on their sensitivty to such things.

I somehow doubt that the only thing that prevented an adult (that has otherwise grasped the other nicieties of adult life including holding down a professional job) learning how to hold a knife and fork was that the magic complexity of same wasn't imparted to them 20-40 years ago by their parents.

That said, I understand there's always a need for fresh material here involving shoddy parenting so I guess any example in a storm.

When we were kids we always had our set of small cutlery because the adult sizes were too big for us to hold.
Pet hates: people (over six years old) who eat with their mouths open; people who talk with their mouths full; people who talk while chewing gum so you can see the gum travelling around their gobs (yuk); people who ignore waiting staff as if their food was being served by robots.:(

andekwarhola wrote: »

If you have an adult displaying poor so-called table manners in a semi-formal/formal meal setting such as a business meal, chances are they just don't really care about it or assign much importance to it, unaccpetable as it may appear to others, depending on their sensitivty to such things.

+ 1

I don't do formal well. As a parent, I don't want my kids to look repulsive when they eat, but I don't think teaching them formal/Clarence standard table manners is a priority in life.

In the same manner a poster said a person's table manners can tell a lot about the person, I think how hung up you are about others' table manners can tell a lot about who you are.

Wall1257 wrote: »

Just a quick question. Is it normal for a six and a half year old child to use her fingers when eating? She never uses a knife and fork and her parents are fine with it.

We went out to a restaurant today and her table manners are really bad.
- she used her fingers throughout the meal (of course)
- picked up food that had fallen off her plate onto the floor and tried to eat it.
- rubbed her vegetables across the table to use the salt that fallen on the table
- and a few other things like that.

Is this fairly normal? Maybe I'm expecting too much from a six year old. My daughter is nearly a year older than her and her table manners have been fine since before the age of three ......

I know it's far from the most important thing in a child's development, but is it usual for a six year old to have bad tabke manners? Just curious,
Thanks

I'm appalled, I hope you berated the child for her complete lack of table manners. Imagine making it all the way to 6 years old and not learning basic table manners!

My 6 year old eats with her fingers all the time, I try and get her to use a fork/spoon but she usually reverts to her fingers. I don't really mind so long as she eats enough and healthily. My 4 year old uses knife/fork/spoon all the time.

Clarebelly wrote: »

Lol at all the posters with the perfectly table mannered children.
The same children that will at 2am be regularly be found asleep in supermacs face down in a punnet of chilli fries during their college years.

Speaking from experience?

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

It's not about 'formal dining' I'll eat a Maccers with my hands like any normal person. However, I'll eat my burger with my mouth closed and I won't talk with my mouth full. As for your standard restaurant meal I'll use a knife, fork & spoon as they should be used, not like a monkey wearing boxing gloves

On behalf of all people who couldn't be ar$ed, I would like to apologize for the ungainly way we handle our forks and knives. And our children's.

endagibson wrote: »

Anytime I've dined with them, they eat with one particular hand. The other hand doesn't go near the food.

True, I meant to say "eat with their hand".

I'll leave it there..

Chuchote wrote: »

I've never known anyone to regret learning a graceful way of living.

Good for them, that's beside the point though.

The point that I was making is more looking in from the outside.

Only you can decide how bothered you are by others not abiding by your rules of behaviour in society.

I'm saying "your rules of behaviour" simply because we all have differing standards. I'm happy enough with a "carvery lunch" sort of standard. You might prefer a "French Michelin restaurant etiquette" standard.

That's not my priority to educate my children to a Michelin restaurant etiquette standard, and I don't expect that from others either.

Doesn't mean my kids are behaving like cavemen either, and I wouldn't be fond of looking at someone being inconsiderate or unhygienic at mealtimes.

Cutlery handling doesn't really get a look in for me though. I would be more bothered at someone or their kids being downright rude to a waiter/waitress (please and thank yous), or to others around the table (eating with mouth open or constantly getting up and leaving the table only to come back again).

I'm lucky I'm French in a way, as my kids have been exposed to so many French meals they know to wait until everyone else starts to eat, and to ask permission when they want to leave the table. These are not really relevant to all Irish meals though, a lot of people simply wouldn't care about that here, so if their kids don't do it that's ok by me.