Children's table manners

Wall1257 · 29-12-2016 02:07AM #1

Just a quick question. Is it normal for a six and a half year old child to use her fingers when eating? She never uses a knife and fork and her parents are fine with it.

We went out to a restaurant today and her table manners are really bad.
- she used her fingers throughout the meal (of course)
- picked up food that had fallen off her plate onto the floor and tried to eat it.
- rubbed her vegetables across the table to use the salt that fallen on the table
- and a few other things like that.

Is this fairly normal? Maybe I'm expecting too much from a six year old. My daughter is nearly a year older than her and her table manners have been fine since before the age of three ......

I know it's far from the most important thing in a child's development, but is it usual for a six year old to have bad tabke manners? Just curious,
Thanks

learn_more · 29-12-2016 02:08AM

I've never seen anyone use a knife and fork in Mc Donalds.

looksee · 29-12-2016 02:10AM

A child's table manners will only be as good as she has been taught. If the parents have not bothered then you can't expect a 6 year old to know any better.

batistuta9 · 29-12-2016 02:14AM

No, shouldn't be doing the things you mention at that age.

The use of fingers at times would be normal enough though. People 10 times that age still eat with fingers :pac:

LETHAL LADY · 29-12-2016 02:43AM

Table manners should be taught to children with rigidity, and if the child attempts to deviate from instruction it would merit the paddle. That's just my feeling on the matter.

Your Face · 29-12-2016 02:54AM

F--king animals.

Mountainsandh · 29-12-2016 03:11AM

2 points :
Table manners fall under the arbitrary standards heading IMO. What you consider rude, or disgusting, may be perfectly acceptable by another's standards. How bothered did her parents seem ? Where's the official table manners rule book ?
Second, it's a bit of a quick judgement, again IMO. The parents may spend a lot of time at home working on teaching her to use a knife and fork, but leave her off when out for good reason. I have a dyspraxic child who, at nearly 9, is still very awkward with cutlery. We work at it, but in public I will tend to leave him be because I don't want him to feel like crap. I might still use my secret Mum gaze to remind him but an outsider may not notice.

6 years and a bit is still young !

Arcade_Tryer · 29-12-2016 03:42AM

Mountainsandh wrote: »

2 points :
Table manners fall under the arbitrary standards heading IMO.

You're not wrong.

Aside from the basics like chewing with mouth closed and not speaking with food in mouth, the rest is history. For example, I refuse to abide by the "never put a knife in your mouth" rule. How else can I lick the delicious sauce resting on it? And why is it a rule in the first place? Because some idiot couldn't do it without cutting their tongue? Well, that's tough. But the rest of us shouldn't have to suffer too.

oneilla · 29-12-2016 03:47AM

Children using phones or tablets at the dinner table drives me nuts

NiallBoo · 29-12-2016 05:22AM

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

You're not wrong.

Yeah they are.

Bad table manners are a big indicator that someone has failed as a person.

Without them, what's to distinguish us from the animals/Americans?

29-12-2016 08:14AM

Our 2 year old picks things up with her fingers, puts them on a spoon, and then tries to fit spoon and fingers in mouth.

Good manners are nice, but wouldn't judge too much. For example a child quietly using his or her fingers is far better than a noisy kid banging cutlery up and down.

gramar · 29-12-2016 08:27AM

learn_more wrote: »

I've never seen anyone use a knife and fork in Mc Donalds.

I saw someone use a knife there once. They were threatening the staff with it demanding money from the till. I didn't see any forks but they shouted it a lot. 'give me the forking money' and 'shut the fork up' I believe it was.

LordSutch · 29-12-2016 08:33AM

looksee wrote: »

A child's table manners will only be as good as she has been taught. If the parents have not bothered then you can't expect a 6 year old to know any better.

Agreed.

Chuchote · 29-12-2016 08:38AM

If a kid doesn't learn from parents it can't learn, since there aren't school dinners in Ireland where other kids would set it right at the table.

Advbrd · 29-12-2016 08:45AM

oneilla wrote: »

Children using phones or tablets at the dinner table drives me nuts

Yeah, it ruins them. If gravy gets into the charging port it's fcuked and you can't get the large phones into a child's mouth. You are better off using a fork.

lawred2 · 29-12-2016 08:49AM

NiallBoo wrote: »

Yeah they are.

Bad table manners are a big indicator that someone has failed as a person.

Without them, what's to distinguish us from the animals/Americans?

Ffs

jester77 · 29-12-2016 08:51AM

Table manners are something that is learned. I have a 3 year old who knows how to behave at the table, knows to wait to start, knows how to use a fork, still struggling to use a knife. If the child has not been taught, then it is more of a reflection on their parents than on the child.

lawred2 · 29-12-2016 09:10AM

Children acquire these skills are varying rates. They are not a homogenous group of people. Some will use their knife and fork sooner than others. I would say that by school going age I would expect a reasonable level of table manners. However it's not something I would ever get hung up about. Adults with poor table manners is a much bigger problem.

Chuchote · 29-12-2016 09:12AM

A kid that doesn't know not to wipe its food off the table is a bit extreme, though.

Advbrd · 29-12-2016 09:13AM

lawred2 wrote: »

Children acquire these skills are varying rates. They are not a homogenous group of people. Some will use their knife and fork sooner than others. I would say that by school going age I would expect a reasonable level of table manners. However it's not something I would ever get hung up about. Adults with poor table manners is a much bigger problem.

Chewing with your mouth open is a pretty large pet hate of mine as is slurping soup.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 29-12-2016 09:20AM

All children should be taught table manners and how to use cutlery. Why wouldn't you impart a skill that needs to be used every day? I'm gobsmacked by the number of young adults who are clueless at using the tools of the trade for eating meals when out in public.

fatknacker · 29-12-2016 09:45AM

Why is the cork on the fork?

amtc · 29-12-2016 10:30AM

Slightly off topic but was once in the Clarence restaurant...and the waiter complained about how I was using my cutlery. I had cut meat and left down my knife and transferred my fork to my right hand to eat.

No tip there!

Sue Pa Key Pa · 29-12-2016 11:19AM

amtc wrote: »

Slightly off topic but was once in the Clarence restaurant...and the waiter complained about how I was using my cutlery. I had cut meat and left down my knife and transferred my fork to my right hand to eat.

No tip there!

That's the way Americans eat. Seriously though, why would you not cut meat as you go along eating your meal?

Chuchote · 29-12-2016 11:21AM

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

That's the way Americans eat. Seriously though, why would you not cut meat as you go along eating your meal?

If you're very right-handed it's a normal way to eat.

I wouldn't personally see that kind of thing as good or bad manners.

Tom Mann Centuria · 29-12-2016 11:22AM

fatknacker wrote: »

Why is the cork on the fork?

Ruprecht the monkey boy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29iPMa1YdW4

looksee · 29-12-2016 11:26AM

lawred2 wrote: »

Children acquire these skills are varying rates. They are not a homogenous group of people. Some will use their knife and fork sooner than others. I would say that by school going age I would expect a reasonable level of table manners. However it's not something I would ever get hung up about. Adults with poor table manners is a much bigger problem.

I don't think anyone is hung up, its just a casual conversation. If children were taught table manners then adults would not have poor table manners. I remember seeing a youngish man probably in his mid 20s eating with a group of older men, all suited businessmen having lunch together. The younger one didn't seem to realise that by sitting hunched over, holding his fork in his fist and shovelling food into his mouth from a distance of a few inches he was completely destroying the effect of the smart suit.

andekwarhola · 29-12-2016 11:32AM

It should be pointed out that a five or six year kid not using the correct cutlery or popping a bit of food in their mouth with their hands is possibly not destined to be rubbing their dinner in their hair at important business dinners in 40 years time.

TitianGerm · 29-12-2016 11:35AM

looksee wrote: »

I don't think anyone is hung up, its just a casual conversation. If children were taught table manners then adults would not have poor table manners. I remember seeing a youngish man probably in his mid 20s eating with a group of older men, all suited businessmen having lunch together. The younger one didn't seem to realise that by sitting hunched over, holding his fork in his fist and shovelling food into his mouth from a distance of a few inches he was completely destroying the effect of the smart suit.

I was at a business lunch a few weeks ago. There was a lady across from me who had just started working with us, her knife and fork in the wrong hands and was holding the fork in a death grip, point down like she was holding a knife to stab someone, and sawing away with her knife. She got food all over the table and chewed constantly with her mouth open and spoke with food in her mouth. It was disgusting. You can tell alot about a person in how they act at a table.

Estrellita · 29-12-2016 11:56AM

Advbrd wrote: »

Chewing with your mouth open is a pretty large pet hate of mine as is slurping soup.

Without a doubt I have misophonia, and eating noises is one of my biggest triggers. I can't fcuking stand sitting in the company of some neanderthal cnut chewing beside me. Whatever about a gobs.hite not using their cutlery correctly, if they start chewing while breathing out of their mouth they are at risk of getting stabbed in the eye with a fork.

amtc · 29-12-2016 11:59AM

I was cutting it piece by piece!

Children's table manners

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