Liveline thread 28/09/16 to date

sligojoek wrote: »

I thought it was a bad photo.

Probably just that - else it would mean the artist was being a bit of a knob.

Doesn't take much to be called a hero these days, it seems.
The poor woman was probably alarmed and in distress at the hulking great brutish shape that was bearing down on her out of the darkness, uttering incomprehensible grunting gibberish.

snubbleste wrote: »

It'll be turned into a fillum yet.

Unlikely, but Duffy will try and get a buke out of it.

Only in Ireland can "man helps woman trapped behind fence because of her own stupidity" make national headlines.

Me Weekly Column, by me Joe Duffy so to speak.

Anudder week so to speak (dat rymes) in de bizarro wurild dat I inhabit so to speak. "Who did you help dis week Joe?" and "Who did you cure of cancer dis week Joe?" I hear you say. Well, says I, I helped de peeple of Amerika understand dat day made a wrong decision dis week so I did. Day gave dis lad a job for which he has no qualifications. He's completely out of his depth and everyone knows it but he's just going to do whatever he wants and no-one has de power to check him on it. He's prone to sayin' de dumbest shoyte you can imagine, de guy often just says the furst ting dat comes into his head no matter how stupit it is so to speak. He's very ignorant so he is, and he tinks he knows better dan everyone else. He's very agressive, and wen people say tings he doesn't like he just shouts over dem until day give up. He's a bully so to speak.He pretends dat he's in touch wit de common man and represents de oppressed and will fight for de wurkin' man but de reality is he's a multi-millionaire who couldn't give a bollix about de poor and dat. No it's not me says I (dough I can see how you mite tink dat), it's Ronald Trump! When he duz be finished wit dis new job, dare's a job for him in RTE says I so to speak!

Lee Marvin did doyed since de show was on de air on Fryday so to speak. I love a good death and dat. Hardly a day goes by on De Lahv Lahn dat we don't mention death Lee Marvin. He was a marvinellous actor so to speak, see what i did dare? I'm so clever and dat. He was in all of De Magnificent movies, though I didn't like all of de sequels so to speak. Yew will be busy reading wickedpedia out to me tamarra so I can pretend I was his greatest fan so to speak before de show starts, adn we'll be breakin' out de soundtrack ta de moovies so we can play bits a songs over de peeple who call in offering dare poems and you'll-oh-gies and dat. It's a very classy way to remember de dead I find, as anywan who hurded me tribute to Lennurd Cohen can testify to says I. I'm always helpin' de artists (as an artist meself it's part a de job really) and last Fryday I let amateur poets and writers and dat read out dare best wurks for de nation lahv. It was rivetting radio. Some say it was like listening to a 4th class essay competition, bat dare wrong. Day don't underdstand de art, like dem people dat don't tink dat Mrs. Browinz Boyiz is funny and dat. Naturally, I gave a fella from RTE de mostest airtime and said his stuff was "wunderful, fantastic and dat" even dough I hadn't a clue whor he was on abour and dat, him wit his big wurds and dat. I have de big wurds too and I have written 2 more bukes dan him so he can go and jump de sap. I know dat if Leonard hurded de show he would have said it was a perfect show for a perfect day and dat, I just know it because an artist lie me can understand how tributes wurk and dat.

I also saved a woman from certain death at de weekend, dough had I been tinkin' straight at de toyme I wood have let her doyed as I love de death and dat. She walked behind a fence dat has lots of large "NO ENTRY" signs on it and den couldn't get out so to speak. She was so tick she couldn't even walk back ta where she got in behind de fence so den she started screamin' and dat. I hurded de calls and ran (ok, I walked slowly, we all know dat i couldn't be runnin' anyware...except ta dessert trolley maybe....mmmmm, dessert...) ta de fence and den I moved wan piece of fence and she got out so to speak. She tanked me but I wasn't happy wit de priase of just wan person so I rang de Indo and dat and exaggerated de seriousness of de situation no end (as if I needed to wit de Indo says I?:rolleyes::D) and suddenly anonymous (of course:rolleyes:;)) quotes are put in de paper makin' me out ta be a hero. I should sue dem for false reportin' and dat.....it should "even more of a hero dan he already is and dat so to speak". I tuke a picture of de dreadful scene with me EYE Phone.....as you can see she's clearly in great danger and disdress and dat:

She was very lucky ta get our a dat situation aloyve' so to speak. And lucky for me dat I got ta promote meself too for doin' something most decent peeple would do withour lukin' for publicitee for it and dat.

One last item from de show I need ta talk abour was de riveting story of a man who as a bhoy got out of a car at a funeral and got into anudder wan. It was an amazing story, and by amazing I mean even I was bored. He didn't even know de colour of either car - duz he listen ta da show at all so to speak?

I have ta apologise for de lack of death and misery on de show dis past week and dat so to speak. Dat fuppin' election in Amerika ruined everyting for me. It was hard ta find angles ta bring death into an election so I was trilled when Lennurd did doyed underneath it all, but I was sad it wasn't a more ex-screw-she-ate-ing and painful death and dat. Hopefully Yew and de udder producers and de researchers will have plenty of death and misery lined up for dis week ta make up for ir, wit a bit of exotic, unsual and rare diseases and dat thrown in for good measure so to speak.

I have ta run now, me ice cream is gettin' cold.

'Til next week, keep de faith and dat.