Man & Woman found dead in Mayo

kittensmittens · 03-11-2016 03:27AM

If it turns out as reported above, brings even more relevance, weight and bearing back to the much discussed "Cavan Case"

05eaftqbrs9jlh · 03-11-2016 04:33AM

That's basically a synonym for one side of the Citizens' Forum on Abortion. Let's have a referendum on that entire grief circus.

I, for one, am as cripplingly devastated as I always am when I hear about murders and suicides or both. I can't listen to the radio anymore because one morning it came on in the car really loud and the first thing I heard that day was the word "DEAD" at full volume. Even I hear it, I just start to think about how those people are just like the people I know and they have people like me who are crying and someday it'll be somebody I know...

It's just like the news in America, the larger the population gets the statistically more likely these things are to happen and as society larger it gets gets more distant and shallow and people want to be entertained in this perverse, morbid way. Older people are always sending me rip.ie links about people I MIGHT know, just in case I'd like a free pass to be miserable. I think we'd all do well to try not to be so preoccupied by death.

Just scrolled back up and saw it's reported that it was the father. Does that make it the second Irish man who has killed his wife and child this year? I hope we're not going to go the way of Argentina and have women being killed by their partners like clay pigeons. If I were a fly on the wall in those situations I'd love to bate in the head of the cowardly shjtbag who needs to take the life of somebody else who they are supposed to love and protect. I think that's the only situation I'd actually be able to commit murder or at least GBH.

The flying mouse · 03-11-2016 07:30AM

And there I was having the son guilty of the horrendous crime ,not knowing the full facts, my apologies for jumping to the wrong conclusions as we just don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

eviltwin · 03-11-2016 08:20AM

I'm sure everyone was thinking the son was responsible. The survivor usually is. I feel terrible for him that people were so quick to judge him. I hope he recovers. What a horrible tragedy and one that is becoming all too familiar.

Mary63 · 03-11-2016 03:08PM

I jumped to the conclusion that it was the son too but in fairness we have had so many cases lately of adult sons murdering their parents.

I see this dead pensioner is being described as a GAA stalwart and pillar of the community too.Where did I read that before.

The son was adopted.

Shurimgreat · 03-11-2016 03:22PM

The tributes to the father will ring very hollow now if it turns out he was responsible. As other posters have said, we never know what happens behind closed doors, and many street angels can be complete pr*cks at home.

Your Face · 03-11-2016 03:43PM

Everybody's climbing up on the fence now.

05eaftqbrs9jlh · 03-11-2016 05:28PM

Mary63 wrote:

The son was adopted.

I know three different people who are adopted and they themselves have serious psychological issues stemming from abandonment and the other traumas which are synonymous with adoption...

But their parents are another calibre of f'ed up. Not being able to have kids is unacceptable to some people and they'll do anything without thinking about the long term ramifications. This results in many adopted children growing up to realise their guardian doesn't actually love them unconditionally, sometimes at all. When you're an adult and your adopted parents forfeit, you're essentially just a person falling out with somebody who doesn't have that blood connection and two of the three adopted people I know are on very bad terms with their adopted parents.

What kind of person takes in a child, raises them and eventually resents and casts them out? Attempts to murder them? What kind of sociopath is he?

Mary63 · 03-11-2016 06:50PM

I know a good number of people who were adopted and many have suffered a lot of damage as a result of feeling abandoned.

This seems to be something that is never spoken about,its as if the adopted person is supposed to be grateful at having found a home.

The sadness of some of the stories I have been told is unreal and I admire these people so much.They are all really good parents themselves and when you think its not until their first child is born that they know someone genetically related to them.

catbear · 03-11-2016 11:59PM

I jumped to conclusions too.

04-11-2016 12:22AM

Talon Better Roofing wrote: »

I know three different people who are adopted and they themselves have serious psychological issues stemming from abandonment and the other traumas which are synonymous with adoption...

But their parents are another calibre of f'ed up. Not being able to have kids is unacceptable to some people and they'll do anything without thinking about the long term ramifications. This results in many adopted children growing up to realise their guardian doesn't actually love them unconditionally, sometimes at all.

A friend of mine adopted 3 children. And it's just about the happiest family you could hope to see. They've been very open and honest with their kids, the love and pride they have for the 3 is a sight to behold.

I fully appreciate there are a lot of cases where the children have suffered trauma themselves and have feelings of abandonment. But there is no need for a blood bond for love to exist, take the love between a couple, and conversely the presence of a blood bond has been no obstacle to hatred and murder. I certainly would not jump to the conclusion that adoption was the issue here.

Kristopherus · 04-11-2016 12:31AM

Talon Better Roofing wrote: »

I know three different people who are adopted and they themselves have serious psychological issues stemming from abandonment and the other traumas which are synonymous with adoption...

But their parents are another calibre of f'ed up. Not being able to have kids is unacceptable to some people and they'll do anything without thinking about the long term ramifications. This results in many adopted children growing up to realise their guardian doesn't actually love them unconditionally, sometimes at all. When you're an adult and your adopted parents forfeit, you're essentially just a person falling out with somebody who doesn't have that blood connection and two of the three adopted people I know are on very bad terms with their adopted parents.

What kind of person takes in a child, raises them and eventually resents and casts them out? Attempts to murder them? What kind of sociopath is he?

Mary63 wrote: »

I know a good number of people who were adopted and many have suffered a lot of damage as a result of feeling abandoned.

This seems to be something that is never spoken about,its as if the adopted person is supposed to be grateful at having found a home.

The sadness of some of the stories I have been told is unreal and I admire these people so much.They are all really good parents themselves and when you think its not until their first child is born that they know someone genetically related to them.

And there are thousands upon thousands of adopted children who had the happiest of lives.

idunno78 · 04-11-2016 02:11AM

I think most people would have jumped to the wrong conclusion in this. The way it was reported really make out it was the third person/son that did it. Terrible, things like this should be handled much more careful by the media in the early days. How anyone can do that to their wife let alone child il never understand.

zeroliner · 04-11-2016 02:20AM

Mental Illness is so prevalent in Ireland, and even harder to deal with in rural areas. What can be done?

fryup · 04-11-2016 10:25AM

idunno78 wrote: »

I think most people would have jumped to the wrong conclusion in this. The way it was reported really make out it was the third person/son that did it. Terrible, things like this should be handled much more careful by the media in the early days. How anyone can do that to their wife let alone child il never understand.

well in fairness the media didn't imply anything they just reported who died and who was injured

but unfortunately in this cynical age..people put 2 + 2 together and come up with 6

Mortpourvelo · 04-11-2016 10:29AM

I just hope to God we don't have ANOTHER situation where the murderer and their victims are sharing a funeral and burial.

Says a lot about how seriously we take murder here.

tomofson · 04-11-2016 11:00AM

Mortpourvelo wrote: »

I just hope to God we don't have ANOTHER situation where the murderer and their victims are sharing a funeral and burial.

Says a lot about how seriously we take murder here.

I don't understand why YOU should have a problem with that, its up to the family to make those decisions not you.

Mortpourvelo · 04-11-2016 11:04AM

tomofson wrote: »

I don't understand why YOU should have a problem with that, its up to the family to make those decisions not you.

Really, you don't see why as a society we should be concerned that murder is being glossed over ?

Next time you see a murdered out after less than ten years (when they should do a minimum of 25) think on how we treat murderers.

Oh and I apologise for expressing my opinion, on a site where opinions are asked for. Silly me.

04-11-2016 11:04AM

Bicky bicky wrote: »

http://www.thesun.ie/irishsol/homepage/news/7256174/Rural-OAP-may-have-murdered-wife-and-almost-killed-son-before-suicide.html

Am waiting for a bashing because it's the sun!

Since when does a "theory" constitute as evidence and deserve an article?

tomofson · 04-11-2016 11:08AM

Mortpourvelo wrote: »

Really, you don't see why as a society we should be concerned that murder is being glossed over ?

Next time you see a murdered out after less than ten years (when they should do a minimum of 25) think on how we treat murderers.

Oh and I apologise for expressing my opinion, on a site where opinions are asked for. Silly me.

No to be honest I dont get where your coming from with that one, but yes you are correct everyone is entitled to their opinion.

The flying mouse · 05-11-2016 06:10AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Since when does a "theory" constitute as evidence and deserve an article?

Last night, post-mortem results confirmed Tom had died of poisoning - he was found outside the home in an animal trough.

Kitty died of head wounds, consistent with a serious assault.
Despite his condition initially improving after an operation in Beaumont Hospital, Paul was again fighting for his life last night.

Paul is not a suspect. Gardaí are treating the tragedy as a murder-suicide.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/neighbours-in-quiet-rural-area-left-stunned-by-couples-deaths-35190063.html

Isn't it very sad and frightening that folks,well Tom has been described as pillars of community,who would go out of there to help and be a part of that community and then go home and plan these murders,then taking his own life.

What makes a seemingly good person do that ? What pushed him over the edge ?

tomwaterford · 05-11-2016 06:17AM

Mortpourvelo wrote: »

Really, you don't see why as a society we should be concerned that murder is being glossed over ?

Next time you see a murdered out after less than ten years (when they should do a minimum of 25) think on how we treat murderers.

Oh and I apologise for expressing my opinion, on a site where opinions are asked for. Silly me.

When has anyone in this state convicted of murder been out in less than 10 years??

Your opinion was amounting to wanting to push grieving families into doing what you perceive to be right.... Not what suits them best?

The flying mouse · 05-11-2016 06:26AM

It is a strange one as well Tomwaterford, Why would you want to buried with someone who took your life intentially as in murdered you.Why would people want that ? If only to cover up in what happened ? I don't have the answers here but am torn in what's the right thing to do.

Ps my relation did the same to her child,and then herself,it wasent talked about and both were buried together, her father committed sucide two years ago.its all left more questions then answers.

tomwaterford · 05-11-2016 06:32AM

The flying mouse wrote: »

It is a strange one as well Tomwaterford, Why would you want to buried with someone who took your life intentially as in murdered you.Why would people want that ? If only to cover up in what happened ? I don't have the answers here but am torn in what's the right thing to do.

Ps my relation did the same to her child,and then herself,it wasent talked about and both were buried together, her father committed sucide two years ago.its all left more questions then answers.

It'll never be covered up or forgotten anyway..... You still here tales around where I'm from of a presumed murder suicide over 50 years ago(spread over two weeks)

But I think it should be left to the families to decide tbh .....not some ppl telling them. You can't bury him with her....thats crazy talk

I'm sure they'll weigh up all facts etc and decide then.... What suits their situation best

The flying mouse · 05-11-2016 06:42AM

Well if anyone murdered my daughter I wouldent like them buried with her, and that would include her now husband.

Should rachel o Reilly husband Joe, be allowed to be buried with her when he dies ?

fergiesfolly · 05-11-2016 09:14AM

This is a hell of a thread.
Convicting a man based on nothing but conjecture.
Deciding the funeral arrangements of a family ye have never met and know nothing about.

There is a discussion to be had about mental health and its treatment in this country, but this thread isn't where it should be happening.

Condolences to the family of the deceased.
I hope they find the strength to deal with this tragedy and that the son makes a full recovery in every way possible.

I also suggest closing this because I cannot see a point to it, bar idle gossip and misinformed hypothesis.

05-11-2016 09:16AM

fergiesfolly wrote: »

This is a hell of a thread.
Convicting a man based on nothing but conjecture.
Deciding the funeral arrangements of a family ye have never met and know nothing about.

There is a discussion to be had about mental health and its treatment in this country, but this thread isn't where it should be happening.

Condolences to the family of the deceased.
I hope they find the strength to deal with this tragedy and that the son makes a full recovery in every way possible.

I also suggest closing this because I cannot see a point to it.

And, most distastefully for me, whatever happened, speculating that adoption was the issue...

fits · 05-11-2016 09:30AM

The gardai would bever have called it suicide if a successful suicide attempt had not occurred. Language is important. The case was accurately reported in my view, people just didnt 'listen' to what was being said.

The flying mouse · 05-11-2016 02:58PM

fergiesfolly wrote: »

This is a hell of a thread.
Convicting a man based on nothing but conjecture.
Deciding the funeral arrangements of a family ye have never met and know nothing about.

There is a discussion to be had about mental health and its treatment in this country, but this thread isn't where it should be happening.

Condolences to the family of the deceased.
I hope they find the strength to deal with this tragedy and that the son makes a full recovery in every way possible.

I also suggest closing this because I cannot see a point to it, bar idle gossip and misinformed hypothesis.

There is no one convicting any one of anything.

How do you know no one here does not know the family ? & I didn't see anybody deciding anything, people are giving there opinion about a tragedy that is all over the media and not for the first time.

The facts now are as related by the Garda that the Women was bludgeoned to death, the son was also bludgeoned and left for dead, and the man killed himself by drinking poison .

The garda have ruled out the son and the mother is not a suspect. How is that idle gossip & misinformed hypothesis ?

If your so concerned why don't you start a thread about mental health and while your at it ask can you become a moderator here. Then you can close all the threads you want.

And I can bet you 10k euro that if it was our much talked about Travellers community somewhere involved there be 100 pages here on it.

purplecow1977 · 05-11-2016 04:16PM

I'm so disappointed with myself. I was led by the reports and came to the conclusion their son was to blame.
I don't believe it was accurately reported. Again we saw the father being perceived as some saintly person, with little to no mention of the son in majority of the earlier reports.

It's appalling.

We desperately need to improve mental health in this country. And fast.

Man & Woman found dead in Mayo

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