Why are men dropping out of society? - mod note in 1st post

maregal · 29-10-2016 11:53PM

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Well theres nothing local, town is dead but I'm gonna try moving to a bigger city. Couple that with toning up and I'm hoping it will help.

I predict a lot of women posters will chime in with helpful advice but how many will practice what they preach and actually go on a date with you? Talk is cheap.

At the end of the day, looks are everything. A rich 6ft well-built rugby player will win over the nerdy shy guy without a car every time. You're making yourself miserable by chasing the impossible. My advice is find something you enjoy (video games, movies, camping) and focus your energy on that instead.

PucaMama · 29-10-2016 11:56PM

maregal wrote: »

I predict a lot of women posters will chime in with helpful advice but how many will practice what they preach and actually go on a date with you? Talk is cheap.

At the end of the day, looks are everything. A rich 6ft well-built rugby player will win over the nerdy shy guy without a car every time. You're making yourself miserable by chasing the impossible. My advice is find something you enjoy (video games, movies, camping) and focus your energy on that instead.

We can't give advice without going on a date? And women are the hostile ones??? We are not all single.

Your advice is harmful. He has no reason to remove himself from women. Not every woman likes the same thing in men.

Edit: looks are absolutely not everything, i wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who looked good but couldn't hold a conversation or was a complete prick

mzungu · 30-10-2016 12:07AM

maregal wrote: »

At the end of the day, looks are everything. A rich 6ft well-built rugby player will win over the nerdy shy guy without a car every time. You're making yourself miserable by chasing the impossible. My advice is find something you enjoy (video games, movies, camping) and focus your energy on that instead.

I think you are focussing in to much on the looks side of things. For some people, maybe looks are the only thing. However, most well rounded people are after a package that is not just consigned to looks, but encompasses a hell of a lot of different attributes.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 12:07AM

Thanks for the acronyms being explained.

I wouldn't take the "all men are thick" crap too seriously. I've met as many dumb brunettes as I have razor brained blondes. And frankly that sort of stereotyping has me out of the room. Be short, wear glasses, be clumsy but make me laugh and be interesting, welcome to my being interested.

I would assume Social Justice Warriors are people who pick fights. Here's a laugh, I have met men who are a disgrace to the skin they're in and I've also met women likewise.
Now either I have a problem with humanity in general or I just accept that ill-mannered people exist without getting into their genitalia.

maregal · 30-10-2016 12:08AM

I'm fed up reading the same meaningless platitudes anytime a desperate guy comes onto the forum asking for help with women.

Just be yourself!
There is someone for everyone!
Join meetup.com (this is the worst one. It's reaching meme status)

The young man is asking for help. Is nobody willing to go out with him, maybe offer some genuine advice?
@Mr Arrior, are you living near Dublin?

Mr Arrior · 30-10-2016 12:12AM

maregal wrote: »

The young man is asking for help. Is nobody willing to go out with him, maybe offer some genuine advice?
@Mr Arrior, are you living near Dublin?

Im not overly far from Dublin ha The irony if I meet my future wife from this thread

PucaMama · 30-10-2016 12:15AM

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Im not overly far from Dublin ha The irony if I meet my future wife from this thread

Trust me stay away from MGTOW you will not meet anyone by meeting up with them

maregal · 30-10-2016 12:17AM

PucaMama wrote: »

Trust me stay away from MGTOW you will not meet anyone by meeting up with them

I'm not offering to meet up with the chap. I'm asking his location to help in setting him up on a date. Why don't you personally go out with him. Let him know what he's doing wrong as something is obviously not right if he's never had a gf by age 22. He doesn't need to hear "just be yourself" for the 100th time from a dismissive online stranger.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 12:18AM

Yup, the be yourself, meetup.com bull**** is grating. There we agree.
Easiest way to meet women is to with one in the first place. Even if you're having a drink with a friend or a cousin you become approachable and safe.
We may as well be saying how easier it is to get a job when you're already in one.
I'm as shy as **** but when I'm in company of an extrovert friend, I at least make contact.

PucaMama · 30-10-2016 12:20AM

maregal wrote: »

I'm not offering to meet up with the chap. I'm asking his location to help in setting him up on a date. Why don't you personally go out with him. Let him know what he's doing wrong as something is obviously not right if he's never had a gf by age 22. He doesn't need to hear "just be yourself" for the 100th time from a dismissive online stranger.

I wouldn't no what I was at either! Met my partner online. I'd only be able to say what personally appeals to me about
Men and it's not what you have described as the ideal mans look.

I don't think 22 is too old to not have had a girlfriend.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 12:26AM

It isn't a race (I hope not as I do believe I've lost:rolleyes:). Be any number in the bloody book and I swear this to you - "Hi, I'm 23 and you're my 150th shag" will not impress anybody you care to meet.

RDM_83 again · 30-10-2016 12:30AM

maregal wrote: »

I'm fed up reading the same meaningless platitudes anytime a desperate guy comes onto the forum asking for help with women.

Just be yourself!
There is someone for everyone!
Join meetup.com (this is the worst one. It's reaching meme status)

The young man is asking for help. Is nobody willing to go out with him, maybe offer some genuine advice?
@Mr Arrior, are you living near Dublin?

What your saying is harsh but I sort of agree that a lot of advice isn't very constructive.
My 2 cents (which I am very under qualified to give)

- Be more chatty, maybe your a quiet person but you can be chatty without being loud
- Start smoking (or maybe vaping), sounds terrible but if your in a busy pub it will be one of the times you can actually engage in conversation
- Go out with some female friends if you can, women seem to presume your at least an ok person/not a creep if your hanging around with a few girl (hopefully this doesn't sound creepy I mean go out with people you actually enjoy being around platonically!)
- Seem like your having fun/are interesting, nobody wants to hang around somebody with somebody who doesnt want to be there, enthusiasm matters no matter the subject of conversation.
- If your a messy/agro drunk don't get completely wrecked, if your not fire away
- Confidence is literally everything for guys, I know its useless advice but don't be unconfident, don't presume women don't find you attractive, on that note don't also presume that all women find you attractive either many many won't or are just wanting a fun night out with their friends
- Don't treat your interactions with women on a night out as having a goal of scoring them, just have fun and be relaxed.
- Try to go to places you feel comfortable in and like the atmosphere off, e,g if your not too preppy head to a rock/indie bar
- If you can't dance/ not amazing looking don't be downhearted about no success in nightclub/meat market type places

Its all very vague and as I said not exactly that qualified to lecure on this but I think these things would help.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 12:37AM

RDM_83 again wrote: »

What your saying is harsh but I sort of agree that a lot of advice isn't very constructive.
My 2 cents (which I am very under qualified to give)

- Be more chatty, maybe your a quiet person but you can be chatty without being loud
- Start smoking (or maybe vaping), sounds terrible but if your in a busy pub it will be one of the times you can actually engage in conversation
- Go out with some female friends if you can, women seem to presume your at least an ok person/not a creep if your hanging around with a few girl (hopefully this doesn't sound creepy I mean go out with people you actually enjoy being around platonically!)
- Seem like your having fun/are interesting, nobody wants to hang around somebody with somebody who doesnt want to be there, enthusiasm matters no matter the subject of conversation.
- If your a messy/agro drunk don't get completely wrecked, if your not fire away
- Confidence is literally everything for guys, I know its useless advice but don't be unconfident, don't presume women don't find you attractive, on that note don't also presume that all women find you attractive either many many won't or are just wanting a fun night out with their friends
- Don't treat your interactions with women on a night out as having a goal of scoring them, just have fun and be relaxed.
- Try to go to places you feel comfortable in and like the atmosphere off, e,g if your not too preppy head to a rock/indie bar
- If you can't dance/ not amazing looking don't be downhearted about no success in nightclub/meat market type places

Its all very vague and as I said not exactly that qualified to lecure on this but I think these things would help.

Quoted For Truth. Oh, and Humphrey Bogart encompasses all of the above. You will never see him dancing.

tomwaterford · 30-10-2016 12:39AM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Quoted For Truth. Oh, and Humphrey Bogart encompasses all of the above. You will never see him dancing.

What????

PucaMama · 30-10-2016 12:43AM

tomwaterford wrote: »

What????

He was an actor

mzungu · 30-10-2016 12:46AM

PucaMama wrote: »

He was an actor

I think it was the dancing part that caused the confusion!

mzungu · 30-10-2016 12:47AM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Quoted For Truth. Oh, and Humphrey Bogart encompasses all of the above. You will never see him dancing.

Does this count?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB2ckiy_qlQ

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 12:49AM

Cheeky monkeys. And Audrey was carrying his gin sodden ass. To bring up Sabrina at this late hour.

eviltwin · 30-10-2016 12:54AM

maregal wrote: »

I'm fed up reading the same meaningless platitudes anytime a desperate guy comes onto the forum asking for help with women.

Just be yourself!
There is someone for everyone!
Join meetup.com (this is the worst one. It's reaching meme status)

The young man is asking for help. Is nobody willing to go out with him, maybe offer some genuine advice?
@Mr Arrior, are you living near Dublin?

Well I'm old enough to be his mother and I'm married so I'm out.

He's only 22, most of my mates were single at 22. He has time. Telling him he's basically a lost cause because he's not an Adonis is not helpful. I hope he ignores that.

I did not marry a man who was rich, successful, gorgeous etc. I fell in love with Mr average and we've been together over twenty years. I can't give him advice because I dated pre internet and I don't know how modern dating works but I think telling him he's never going to be able to compete with sporty types is misguided.

Mr Arrior · 30-10-2016 12:58AM

The plan is to be an Adonis by the time I'm done with the gym

I actully am the sporty type myself as well. Was actually asked during a pants fitting if I played football cos my bigger legs make it that I need a bigger size pant to the jacket on a suit haha

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 01:00AM

@ evil, a lot of modern dating works off Tinder. Basically post a pic, swipe left or right to say yes/no for a nearby shag. It is looks based. Put this way, William Shakespeare would not be seeing much action. Ted Bundy would.

PucaMama · 30-10-2016 01:08AM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

@ evil, a lot of modern dating works off Tinder. Basically post a pic, swipe left or right to say yes/no for a nearby shag. It is looks based. Put this way, William Shakespeare would not be seeing much action. Ted Bundy would.

I wouldn't say it's all tinder. I think tinder is just for hooking up.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 01:12AM

^ yup, it is. Which leaves the whole relationship (clumsy passes, asking a girl to dance, when do friends become closer than friends) aspect out in the cold. It is a facet of the internet that I find chilling.

RDM_83 again · 30-10-2016 01:28AM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

@ evil, a lot of modern dating works off Tinder. Basically post a pic, swipe left or right to say yes/no for a nearby shag. It is looks based. Put this way, William Shakespeare would not be seeing much action. Ted Bundy would.

I know Tinder is incredibly popular in terms of having a lot of users but I'm not sure how much use it actually gets, isn't it an ego trip/window shopping for a lot of people?

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 01:52AM

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I know Tinder is incredibly popular in terms of having a lot of users but I'm not sure how much use it actually gets, isn't it an ego trip/window shopping for a lot of people?

I've seen two hook-ups occur since September. Mine end was knowing the ladies. One in her thirties paired off with a 20something Italian potter (

), the other with a lad up from Mayo for da match. All four would be 8 or 9 out of 10 if we're doing looks ratings.

But yeah, a lot of it is probably bull**** - I hope to God we haven't de-evolved to the point where we're swiping left / right. That is literally back to monkeydom.

eeguy · 30-10-2016 02:06AM

eviltwin wrote: »

He's only 22, most of my mates were single at 22. He has time. Telling him he's basically a lost cause because he's not an Adonis is not helpful. I hope he ignores that.

If that were the case no one would ever be married.
So much bitterness from the OP, so much resentment, then so much confusion as to why women don't automatically find you attractive.

Relationships aren't the be all and end all. You don't need a girlfriend/wife/sex to be happy. There's plenty of other means of fulfillment out there.
No need to reject half the world's population and denigrate them. No need to project your insecurities and frustrations outwards.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

maregal · 30-10-2016 02:14AM

eeguy wrote: »

So much bitterness from the OP, so much resentment, then so much confusion as to why women don't automatically find you attractive.

Eh, what? Admit it - you didn't even read the OP. I couldn't be clearer that I do not want a relationship with women.

Time to also dispel this myth that it's only ugly bitter guys that follow MGTOW. Take Leonardo DiCaprio for example. One of Hollywood's best looking actors but he's wise enough to not get involved in a relationship. No point risking all his hard work and success on a woman who could destroy him. Look what happened to Brad Pitt. His nutter of an ex will take away his children and collect a hefty chunk of his earnings. When I say nutter I mean it - Angelina Jolie has been photographed kissing her own brother on the mouth and wearing a vial of her ex-boyfriend's blood around her neck. Brad Pitt learned the hard way that you'll be better off staying away from women.

Stoogie · 30-10-2016 02:18AM

I don't wander round boards much but there seems to be a lot of women posting on the male issues section.
While that would be healthy in the " why can't I " or "what are they thinking " sections it surprises me here
If young men are feeling put upon then young men are feeeling put upon. It's sad but it's how they seem to be feeling.
With respect to the op and anyone feeling like he does : I'm sad that you feel that way but I feel giving up is not the answer. I believe that women find confidence "sexy"'and that won't come across in a tinder (other hookup apps are available ) photo. Learn to communicate and put yourselves out there. Becoming a wanker ( technical term) will not make you happy long term.

FloatingVoter · 30-10-2016 02:19AM

professore · 30-10-2016 09:08AM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

I've seen two hook-ups occur since September. Mine end was knowing the ladies. One in her thirties paired off with a 20something Italian potter (), the other with a lad up from Mayo for da match. All four would be 8 or 9 out of 10 if we're doing looks ratings.

But yeah, a lot of it is probably bull**** - I hope to God we haven't de-evolved to the point where we're swiping left / right. That is literally back to monkeydom.

I'm glad I'm not on the market now. I can just see how it is - the asshole guys that women all swipe on are even more "assholish" and "confident" and the normal guy is made to feel even more like sh1t. And must be the same for girls, although for hookups men are far less picky than women.

My daughter ( she's 19 ) was on tinder for a while. Shes an attractive young woman. One of her male friends got hold of her phone, a guy who gets one swipe a month if he's lucky - he's no brad Pitt but a reasonable looking normal guy. He swipes right on pretty much every girl he sees on there to achieve this "result".

He swiped right on every guy on her profile, maybe 30 guys, before she caught him. Guess how many swiped right too? Yep, every single one of them.

He was seriously depressed after that exercise.

Why are men dropping out of society? - mod note in 1st post

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