Men

iDave wrote: »

We're a bit **** aren't we. Start most wars and leave the toilet seat up.

We start most wars because we are mostly in control.
And we leave the toilet seat up because thats where it rightly belongs.

oik wrote: »

Who clogs up the shower with their hair?

The missus when she shaves her legs and box

No, we're not. I usually leave the toilet seat down, because there are women in the house. I am meticulously clean and do not leave body-hair of various types gunging up every nook and cranny, to say nothing of various "Products" that can't be shifted off bathroom surfaces with a combination of Chloras milking-machine cleaner and a blowlamp. Furthermore, if you don't want me to fix something don't tell me about it. These episodes never end well - my species has spent most of the last 10,000 years, evolutionarily-speaking, trying to figure out how correctly to respond to bear attacks. Listening to some largely self-inflicted trauma without being supposed to suggest any fixes is, to my brain, like trying to service a car by doing a Scottish Sword-Dance around it.

Furthermore, when Rachel, Amy, Constance and Teri-with-one-"r"-and-an-"i" meet for coffee and/or drinkipoos, they will spend three hours telling each other lies and dreaming up ever-more-subtle ways of calling each other bitches. However, when Goose, Godzilla, Useless and Colin The Barbarian meet for pint-lofting we will spend three hours arguing over wheel-rim sizes and seeing who can make the best artificall fart sound. Which sounds more entertaining? And we're cuddly!

What sort of an abomination is this? Incredulous. I give you:

Jesus Christ, Beethoven, Nelson Mandela, George Washington, Martin Luther, Karl Marx, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, Tesla, Lennon, Alexander the Great, Christopher Columbus, Galileo Galilei, Plato, Aristotle, Voltaire, Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci, Louis Pasteur, Tolstoy, Einstein, Bach, Pablo Picasso, Mohammed Ali, Thomas Edison, Springsteen and so on and so forth.

Okay, three's been Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks and Belladonna but come on, it's paltry in comparison tbf.

And no, I hadn't forgot about Hitler but all evidence points to him having been mollycoddled by his mother and so hardly our fault.

Long story short: Men are, and have always been, awesome. The human race would have died out long ago had we not been.

You're welcome ladies.

Arghus wrote: »

You can put it in things and rub it when you feel sad and alone.

:pac:
Great way of putting it I suppose.